Either Feel Sorry for Yourself Today or Thank Yourself Tomorrow

Sometimes, it can feel like every day is better than the next.

Negative thoughts or sluggish moods can get the better of us and before we know it we’ve spiralled into the VORTEX and inactivity and heaviness:

-Dwelling on the past and all of the mistakes that we’ve made.

-Worrying about the wudda/cudda/shudda and all of the hypothetical “What ifs…?” where we imagine being a different version of the same person.

-Comparing ourselves to others by looking at the highlights of their lives and the results they’re (seemingly) getting without seeing all the work or whatever behind-the-scenes.

-Replaying movies in our minds of situations and circumstances we’ve already lived through and beating ourselves up because we weren’t perfect or didn’t know what we now do.

When the VORTEX sucks us in like this our life can quickly start to SPIRAL out of control with it:

-Days go by and the momentum we might have had comes to a stand still.

-The BUZZ we were feeling as we rode those REALITY WAVES turns to a mere echo of itself because we allowed UNREALITY to creep in.

-The OPTIMISM we had for the future VANISHES because we distorted our view of the past, mischaracterised ourselves because of it, and now we’re WORRIED that the future is gonna be even worse.

The thing with the VORTEX, though, is that it isn’t REAL.

It’s just a MENTAL PRISON or MATRIX where we allow our LACK OF MOVEMENT to change the colour and tone of our emotional lives and to darken our THOUGHTS as a consequence.

What we don’t realise when we’re SUCKED INTO THE VORTEX is that the prison doors are always open and the main thing that’s keeping us settled there is our own CHOICES:

-It’s our CHOICE to keep dwelling on stuff we alread know ENOUGH about.

-It’s our CHOICE to frame things in the negative instead of learning from them.

-It’s our CHOICE to give our time, energy, and attention to WORRYING about things we can’t control.

-It’s our CHOICE not to take action or to only take the actions that don’t STRETCH us.

The time we WASTE feeling sorry for ourselves today is time we could INVEST in making the choices that will allow us to BECOME who we want to be tomorrow.

The CHOICE is always ours.


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Real Food and Regular Exercise Will Improve Your Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Health More than BS.

It’s easy to forget about the BASICS when it comes to ‘growth’.

We talk about the philosophical stuff (guilty as charged), we talk about the esoteric spiritual ideas, and we wax lyrical about the psychobabble.

Two of the best things to help you feel more REAL and to increase your ENERGY levels are just simple things that a lot of people avoid, though:



Both have these have been PROVEN to be effective (with regular exercise actually being MORE effective for mild depression than taking antidepressants).

The TRUTH is that your body is a machine and if you want to get the most out of it then you need to TREAT IT in the way that it needs to be treated.

When you give it what it NEEDS then it REWARDS you with the ENERGY required to go out there and smash the balls off of your life and make your DREAMS come true.

It also affects your ATTITUDE because when your body has the energy to see things clearly you don’t get caught up in SLUGGISH moods and thoughts that drag you down and make you think that it’s over for you or that life just sucks.

So many people will try just about ANYTHING before they start watching their diet or exercising on the regular:

-They’ll start trying to be ‘spiritual’ but looking for an ESCAPE (when sprituality is the opposite of an escape).

-They’ll start finding ways to manage the SYMPTOMS of not working out and eating well instead of solving the fundamental problem (so they’ll take the pills, fanny about with crystals, look for gurus who can explain away what they don’t like about life).



-Means that you predominantly eat WHOLE foods. I.e. not just PROCESSED BS that’s filled with all kinds of chemicals and so much sodium it can make your head explode.

If you look at your plate and you can name EVERY thing on it, you’re doing okay.


Means that you find an ENJOYABLE way to get your heart rate up every day and to build strength.

For me, it’s YOGA and WEIGHTS but for you it could be anything.

If you wanna grow real, start with the BASICS.

That might mean doing a little WORK but it will ALWAYS pay off and you’ll have more ENERGY to go NEXT LEVEL.


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Too Much Analysing of the Self Kills Awareness of the Self, The World, and Reality.

Too much of ANYTHING is usually a ‘bad’ idea…

This is particularly true when it comes to the approach we can take to figuring our ‘stuff’ out and the lack of balance we can sometimes bring to this process.

Though an important part of the journey of growing real is about asking questions and testing our assumptions about ourselves so that we can push through our limiting beliefs (etc), if we get ADDICTED to the thrill of chasing insight we just end up getting in our own way.

When this happens, we become even more STUCK because we TRICK ourselves into THINKING that we’re doing the work required but actually we’re just being SELF-INDULGENT.

As we’ve said, growing real is about walking a path of three parts:

1. AWARENESS – gaining INSIGHT that will show us the gap between ourselves and reality.

2. ACCEPTANCE – removing our JUDGEMENT about whatever it was that caused us to put a gap between ourselves and reality in the first place.

3. ACTION – doing whatever it takes to close that gap by UNBLOCKING ourselves and taking action.

Sometimes, when people set out on this journey they become so addicted to seeking out ‘awareness’ that they stop moving:

-Every little emotion that pops up is analysed for days and treated as being more significant or interesting than it actually is.

-Every little thought is treated with some kind of gravitas when it’s just a passing thing.

-Every problem from the past that is remembered is mythologised and made to be some seminal moment to fit in with the EGO’s narrative (that it created to avoid growing).

-Every new obstacle that arises is linked in a chain of storytelling to connect it to other obstacles to show how difficult life can be.

-New books and ideas are taken on board to support the analysis and strengthen the case against change.

This kind of ANALYSIS ADDICTION is just a TRAP that we fall into when we filter our whole journey through the EGO.

It’s not about analysing anything REAL but about rearranging the furniture on the TITANIC of the ego as it tries not to sink.

When you fall in this trap you get stuck in ‘Awareness’ but actually you’re not aware of anything REAL – you’re just adding complexity to EGO.


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Nothing is So Important that It Can Shake You From Your Roots.


Here’s some stuff you need to know about staying ROOTED:

1. If you’re feeling good and in the BUZZ then it means you’re being REAL.

That’s how you’re supposed to feel when all systems are GO:


2. You’re always REAL because you’re always ROOTED in the truth about things.

In fact, we can go deeper, and say that you always ARE the truth and your connection can never be severed (how can you be disconnected from what you ARE?).

This being the case, if you feel ‘bad’ for a prolonged period of time it just means that you’ve picked up some LINGERING BELIEF in UNREALITY that’s made you forget who you are and the connection that comes with it.


So those beliefs have to be ‘WRONG’ at some level.

In fact, it’s not even about being ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ – it’s about being real or unreal and either allowing you to SEE yourself, the world, and reality or blinding you to it because of your emotional ‘stuff’.

A key to breaking through these BS beliefs is to ask yourself a simple question:

“Is this really important?”

Get used to asking it because this is your key out of the Matrix and all it takes is a little acknowledgement of the TRUTH about things.

Most of the unreal beliefs we have are becase we’re treating things as being important that we would actually be INDIFFERENT to if we remembered that we were ROOTED.

That stupid argument you got in with somebody because they have a different idea about how something should be done or because they’re opinion about [whatever] conflicts with yours?

NOT IMPORTANT. Just opinions.

That HYPOTHETICAL “What if…?” thing that you keep worrying about?

NOT IMPORTANT. Just your imagination.

That shame somebody tried to make you feel because of your big nose/personality defects/funny [whatever].

NOT IMPORTANT. Just superficial fragments of the bigger picture.

That GUILT people want you to feel because of the way you’re growing/your ambitions/whatever.

NOT IMPORTANT. Your life is your business.


The reality of life is that you’re always ROOTED in the truth about life and that’s the ONLY thing that really matters.

Anything that tries to seem more important than that is UNREAL.


My coaching can help you help yourself grow real.


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Stop Underestimating Yourself and Overestimating Others.


Comparisons are odious (that’s how the old saying goes, anyway).

If you compare your behind-the-scenes footage of your own ‘stuff’ to somebody else’s highlight reel then you’re gonna have a BAD time.

In fact, you might not even have a ‘bad’ time because you probably won’t even get started – you’ll just kinda be…stuck.

A lot of you never get going because you’re too busy COMPARING your own perceived weaknesses to the strengths of other people.

Or you COMPARE the results that somebody else has got after years and years of working away at it with wherever you happen to be right now.

You compare superficialities like how good looking somebody is or how charming or how well they can speak or whatever else…


That’s just your ego trying to keep you where you are so you don’t STRETCH yourself and start growing REAL again.

The TRUTH is that to get stuff ‘DONE’ you only need to follow a simple two-step process:

1. BELIEVE it can be done.

2. Do the WORK to get it done.

Yeah, there’s a few more things that take place somewhere in between – like TRUSTING and BELIEVING and allowing what needs to happen to happen as you take each step – but that’s the gist of it.

The main difference between ‘You’ and whoever you might be comparing yourself to is that they’re NOT comparing themselves to anybody.

The TRUTH is that you can’t compare anyway – we’re all on our own paths, we all have our own cocktail of strengths and weaknesses, we all have our own crosses to bear.

Comparisons are just a form of RESISTANCE – like we said, it’s your EGO’s way of trying to find reasons not to get started because if you do then the odds are you’ll succeed and so your ego will get a software update (which it can’t stand as that means learning and integrating our ‘stuff’ along the way).

Gain some PERSPECTIVE and see things CLEARLY.

If other people have found a way to do it, then there’s no reason why you can’t too – the only EXCUSES are the one’s you tell yourself when you’re trying to believe that other people are ‘special’ and you’re not.

If you do the work you’ll get there; if you don’t, you won’t.

Know your VALUE and share it.

Let me coach you and I can help you get where you know you can be.

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Life Rewards You Based On Your Attitude Towards It.


Life is for the LIVING.

If you want REAL life to give you everything it has to offer then you need to get your mind right and that starts with your ATTITUDE.

People say that “life is unfair” but that’s not quite true….

Life is the great equaliser because it’s available to all of us if we do the work required to ALIGN ourselves with it and do what is ASKED of us.

It begins to seem “unfair” when we resist the CALL of life and answer the call of ‘The World’ instead .

As we’ve said a million times, though:

“THE WORLD IS NOT REALITY” – it’ just a bunch of ideas and assumptions based on our fears about LIFE.

Real life is FAIR because it’s available to everybody – all you have to do is shake yourself out of your slumber and to start BELIEVING in reality and not the world or any of its BS.

When you make the ‘shift’ like this you can start to have an attitude towards life that is creative and LIFE-ENHANCING, not destructive and LIFE-DISMISSING.

A LIFE-ENHANCING attitude DEEPENS your relationship with life:

-You believe in possibility.

-You KNOW that things will always work out.

-You are open to allowing yourself to HAVE the things that life has to offer.

-You believe in yourself as PART of life and that makes you more WHOLE.

-You believe in ACTION and flux because you know that life moves.

-You don’t complain, make excuses, or fail to appreciate the gifts like has already given you.

A LIFE-DISMISSING attitude takes you out of life:

-You only believe in more problems, not possibility.

-You look for reasons why life will let you down again.

-You come up with reasons why there’s something special about ‘You’ that means you can’t HAVE what millions before you have had.

-You think that life is something separate from whatever it is that ‘You’ are.

-You don’t take ACTION because you resist changing yourself (even though you’re unhappy with yourself as you’ve denied LIFE).

-You actively look for new things to complain about or make excuses for so that you can get sympathy and play the victim (because you confuse attention for love).

In short, if you act like LIFE, you get more life; if you deny life, then life denies you.

Life only rewards ITSELF.


Let me coach you so you can change your own life.


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Action Kills Fear. Bullshit Makes it Worse.


The more time you spend away from reality, the greater your FEAR of returning to it.

The TRUTH is that you know deep down when you’re being UNREAL – even if you hide behind layers of masks and BS.

The REAL you is ALWAYS calling to you beneath the surface of yourself and will show up in all kinds of CREATIVE and DESTRUCTIVE ways to get your attention and bring you back home:

-Maybe it’ll call you through the whispered sympony of your own restlessness.

-Maybe it’ll PROJECT the parts of yourself you’re trying to disown out into the world around you so you have to EMBRACE them anyway.

-Maybe it’ll DERAIL or sabotage your goals and relationships because it KNOWS that you got into them for UNREAL reasons and it wants to show you something TRUE.

One thing for sure is that you’re ALWAYS involved in the process of RETURNING BACK TO WHOLENESS whether you know it or not – the problem is that you BLOCK it by resisting life but you can only resist for so long and you can’t hide behind anything REAL (read that again).

When you’re trying to resist the return back to the TRUTH about yourself then you get involved in all kinds of CONTROL FREAKERY, HOLDING BACK, and HESITATIONS.

All of these patterns are just your EGO’s attempt to try and keep the REAL YOU at bay so it can keep tricking itself into thinking it exists.

When you get CAUGHT up in this state, then your overall state becomes a FEARFUL one.

It’s fearful because everything about it is rooted in BS:

-The BS that you carry about yourself and keep hypnotising yourself with.

-The BS that you carry about the world that stops you showing up in it.

-The BS that you carry about reality that stops you moving and pushing through.

This FEAR is about taking the first steps and returning back home because you have become DEPENDENT on all of the illusions that stop you going there.

The more you resist, the worse it gets, until eventually that REAL SELF will EXPLODE from beneath the surface.

To KILL the FEAR, you need to start RESISTING YOUR RESITANCE and taking ACTION – only then will you see that there is nothing to fear.

Once you’re home, you’re WHOLE, and everything else is just gravy.


Let me coach you and help you take actions that will change the game for you.



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You Were Born Wild then Made Crazy.


There’s a wildness in you that can set you FREE if you unlearn to RECLAIM it.

This is because – no matter who you are or what you think your life is about – you were born to survive and THRIVE on the earth and the earth is a wild place.

It’s easy to forget about the WILDERNESS inside us all and the WILD CHILD that’s screaming for attention from deep down in the SHADOWS of ourselves.

It’s easy to forget about all of the PASSIONS, DRIVES, and INSTINCTS that have been buried down there in the depths.

It’s easy to forget who we are when we live in a ‘World’ that’s built only for the little ‘parts’ of who we are and never the WHOLE thing.

When you were born you came with EVERYTHING that you needed – yes, you needed the protection of your parents but the seeds of who you were had already been planted and just needed nuturing and nourishing so the FRUIT could RIPEN.

The problem is that a lot of the ‘WILD’ stuff that you need to channel and transmute to GROW REAL and get where you need to be was DENIED in the face of ‘The World’ and so you started to go a little CRAZY.

What is “crazy” when you think about it?

Crazy is just a lack of alignment with the TRUTH.

If the TRUTH is WHOLE and you begin to identify with just parts of yourself and deem the ‘socially unacceptable’ parts of yourself – like your joy, creativity, and spontaneity; like your anger, drive, and passion – just so you could fit in and identify with a limited interpration of the truth to be of ‘the world’ then tell me…

Is that not ‘crazy’?

Your craziness is ANYTHING that makes you believe that all of the WILDNESS and chaos within you is to be AVOIDED.

That’s just the LIES you’ve been told and then started to hypnotise yourself with so that you can be easier to CONTROL and so that the other crazy people in your world can keep up their own ILLUSIONS about things.

Growing REAL is about ACCEPTANCE of the TRUTH and if the truth is WHOLE that means accepting and embracing the whole of who you are.

There is so much POWER within you but you need to stop being CRAZY and embrace the fact that you were born of the EARTH and that means that you have the wildness within you.

Get ROOTED in the REAL.


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Excuses are a Short-Term Solution to a Long-Term Problem: Unreality.

The REAL ONES don’t need excuses.

An excuse is really just a reality deflection device that we use when:

1) We don’t want to accept some sort of feedback from life and GROW through it.

2) We don’t want to accept some truth or RESPONSIBILITY about ourselves and face its consequences.

The thing about excuses is that people who make them are only FOOLING THEMSELVES.

In the short-term, it stops them from having to face the unresolved SHAME that the situation they’re making excuses about is triggering.

In the long-term, it only perpetuates and DEEPENS the hold that this shame has over them.

If you can’t remember, it goes like this:

1. Shame sends people into hiding because they get TRICKED into believing there’s something inherently ‘wrong’ with them.

2. They hide behind the mask of the ego and send certain ‘unacceptable’ parts of themselves down into the SHADOW TERRITORY.

3. When something happens that exposes the GAP between the unreality (ego) and the reality (the truth and the ‘hidden’ parts down in the shadow territory) then things get WEIRD.

Excuses are what happens when somebody is DESPERATE to avoid the truth about themselves and to defend all of the UNREAL ideas that stpp them accepting who they truly are.

The TRUTH is that in reality you don’t NEED excuses because when you’re being REAL you only have acceptance.

Why’s that important?

Because excuses are just the ego’s (futile) attempt to use unreality to defend unreality.

In other words, excuses are completely redundant – an attempt to uphold illusions with illusions to avoid short-term discomfort of EMBRACING and then DISSOLVING the shame that makes us want to hide in the first place.

Any time you find yourself or somebody caught up in an endless parade of:

“Yeah, but…”

“If only…”

“Cudda, wudda, shudda…”


Then you can bet your bottom dollar it’s a form of RESISTANCE (to reality).

The REAL ONES don’t need excuses – they either ACCEPT the choices they made, EMBRACE the truth, or they OWN the screw up and take the lessons on board.

Step beyond JUDGEMENT (which is powerless without shame) and accept the truth:



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If You’re Scared to Say the Wrong Thing, You’ll Never Say the Right Thing.


Growing real is the first step; expressing something real is the second.

How you choose to express you REALNESS is up to you:

-You can express it through your CREATIVE WORK.

-You can express it through the CHOICES you make about how to live a real life in an unreal world.

-You can express it through you BOUNDARIES and what you choose to say “No” to because you know your worth and so you live according to the holy mantra:

“GIMME SOMETHING REAL OR GTFO” (see Shadow Life – the second greatest book of all time).

What’s clear is that the more REAL you become, the more potency and power there will be behind your WORDS and ACTIONS and what they have to SAY to the world.

The reason for that is because – when you come from the REAL PLACE – your words and actions are beautifully ROOTED (in the truth) and so they can’t help but express something with a similar degree of force or potency.

A stumbling block that many people reach on this journey (of DEFRAGMENTING themelves and becomeing WHOLE again) is that they do the ‘inner work’ required to face themselves and start cultivating self-acceptance but that self-acceptance is still CONDITIONAL in that it is only expressed internally and not EXTERNALLY.

This doesn’t mean that you need to OVERSHARE every little thought, feeling, or vulnerability that floats across the debris of your stream of consciousness but it does mean that eventually – when the REAL, inner you meets the unreal, external world – you have a CHOICE to make.

Sometimes, for the sake of keeping the ‘peace’ in the short-term we decide to hide ourselves and what’s really going on long-term…

Sometimes, that’s fine because not every little detail of what we’re experiencing is interesting or relevant to the world (unless we’re SELF-OBSESSED which is just EGO).

Other times, we need to make the call and get over our fear of ROCKING THE BOAT by sharing or expressing who we really are.

There’s no point hiding something REAL because it will always come out in the end – you might as well CHOOSE your moment.

The only ‘right’ thing is the REAL one and if you fear saying or showing it to the world you’ll always feel like you’re UNREAL.

Unleash it.

I can help you help yourself grow real.

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