Riding the reality waves leads to UNCONDITIONAL love 🌊
This is because reality is about WHOLENESS and love is about wholeness.
As the old hippy saying goes:
“God is truth is love”
It’s all WHOLE.
When you can tap into this understanding by letting of ego and integrating shadow then you can start building a REAL life.
Ironically, when you get to this stage you don’t ‘need’ a real life because you already are real – instead you can want things without ‘needing them.
In this episode of Creative Status I had the pleasure of interviewing Vince Salzer (@vincesalzer), a blogger, consultant, and life coach. We delved into his three-step framework for living a real life that he calls The 3 Pillars.
The first pillar is to realise that you are loved. Vince emphasized that this is a crucial step in living a fulfilled life. When you know that you are loved, you will have the confidence to pursue your dreams and live a life without fear.
The second pillar is to learn to love yourself. Vince talked about how many of us struggle with self-doubt and negative self-talk. However, when we learn to love ourselves, we can overcome these limiting beliefs and achieve our goals.
Finally, the third pillar is to find your dream. Vince shared some valuable insights on how to identify and pursue your passion. He also talked about the importance of aligning your actions with the truth of unconditional love to live a purpose-driven life.
We covered a ton of things in this conversation including the link between unconditional love and wholeness, how we can block ourselves from connecting to this, how life isn’t as serious as we make out, how we can learn to want things without wanting them, and how the next step will always reveal itself (even though it’s just a next step and if it doesn’t work out we can find another next step).
Overall, this episode is filled with valuable insights and actionable advice on how to live a real and authentic life. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy this inspiring conversation with Vince Salzer on Creative Status.
Check it out using the player above!
(Or wherever else you listen to podcasts)
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Episode Links:
Vince’s blog/website: https://vincesalzer.com/
Vince on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/How.to.Find.Your.Dream/
Vince’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@vincesalzer9855
Creative Status Links:
Free creative workshops to level up your life.
Free one hour creative workshop to take you brand or project to the next level.
The Law of Attraction for Realness (mini course)
Show Transcript
Intro
Oli Anderson: Oh, hi there. Oli Anderson here, you’re listening to Creative Status. This is a podcast about using your creativity to improve your life by basically going through the process of becoming real. What that means is that you deconstruct and get out of your head in the sense of holding back, hesitating, having self-limiting beliefs, that you allow the shadow of self to emerge from the ashes of that ego, and then that you can start flowing, growing, designing a life that you actually want to live.
Instead of just being an automaton that is fueled by impulse, reactivity, instinct, modern intuition, and basically that if you can go through this process of growing real and becoming whole, you’ll feel more connected to other people because you’ll be more connected to yourself, you’ll be more connected to life, and then you can die because that’s what happens to all of us, but you’ll at least have lived a good life or the best possible life.
So anyway, that’s a rambling introduction. My name’s Oli Anderson, if you didn’t know that. I’m a life and business coach. You can call me a creative performance coach, but I’m starting to realize that your job title doesn’t really matter.
I mean, I knew that anyway, but it’s more what you do that counts, and basically I just help people become more real with whatever it is that they’re doing. Anyway, this podcast is an interview with a guy called Vince Salzer.
Vince is a super cool guy. I met him in a group for freedom-loving entrepreneurs, and we got talking because we shared some similar interests and some similar philosophical questions about life and the human experience and what it means to be real, how ultimately it all boils down to unconditional love and truth and blah, blah, blah, all these things that I like talking about, wholeness mainly. So yeah, this interview is going to take you on a bit of a journey. We cover a lot of things.
Vince has a really great system for kind of growing real three-step process. We talk about that. We talk about the barriers that hold us back. We talk about the things we’re going to learn along the way and the path to realness.
Just listen and you’ll find out. But this was a really good one. I really enjoyed this conversation. It was very real. So Vince, thank you to you for coming on here and letting me interview you. Everybody else, hope you enjoyed the conversation and that you get some value from it. If you have any suggestions for future interviewees, then send me an email or DM somewhere.
And other than that, just stay real out there, keeping the flow. And here we go.
Interview
Oli Anderson: Oh, hi there, Vince. Thank you so much for joining me today on this episode of Creative Status. We’ve had some quite deep conversations in the short time that we’ve known each other on the internet and we’ve decided that today we’re going to dive into this stuff a bit more deeply, maybe make some new connections, figure some new stuff out.
Before we get into all that, do you feel like introducing yourself, telling people what you do, what you’re all about, what you want to get from this conversation, anything else really that you want to say?
Vince Salzer: Okay. Yeah, my name is Vince Salzer. I’ve been a blogger for over 10 years, been on a few videos on YouTube, done a lot of stuff on Facebook, talked to multiple thousands of people about their lives and how to make them better. I also recently kind of got what a lot of people are talking about today is what is the nature of reality and is the current one we are in going to sustain itself or is it even real?
And can we think of a better reality? But mostly I’d like to talk about is what I got a few years ago basically through inspiration and that’s where I get all of my stuff that doesn’t come from me. I’m just kind of like the tool and it works through me and I just give it out. So the biggest one is the three steps, the three pillars.
Oli: So we’ll get into the three pillars in a second. So just before we do, tell me a little bit more about the reality thing that you just mentioned because reality is one of my favorite topics. I’m obsessed with what’s real about human beings, how we can be more real, how we can flow and align ourselves with the truth. And I think really that’s all we need to do, uncover the truth and then live it.
And if you can really just do those two things, things tend to work out. But what’s your, I guess the abridged version of your reality philosophy and all that kind of thing?
Vince: Well, I totally agree with you that if you can really figure out what is real, then you can survive and thrive in your environment. My take on that is that what we all think is reality isn’t really real. Reality is what is happening on the inside.
That’s actually the only thing that is real. The rest of it is outside and what we think is outside is just our perception of our inside. And once we know that, then we can just basically create whatever we want on the outside.
Now, we’re not God or the Creator of the universe or some infinite being or whatever you want to call it. There are certain restrictions. I mean, do you want to create a reality where there are no floors and walls?
I mean, not really. I mean, yeah, you could possibly, but I mean, how many people want to do that? So inside of current parameters, then yeah, we can basically create what we want. So long as we realize that it all happens on the inside and that is manifested to the outside. And you can’t just sit there and like meditate all day long and expect things to change on the outside.
But you do need to think about what you want so much and so energetically that you get motivated to actually create that outside reality. And which it’s just a term where there is no such thing as an outside reality. But it’s a manifestation of your interior thing. And that is what you would call reality is the outside part of it.
And we really have to be honest about that too. It’s like, you know, you can say, well, it’s like this and it’s like that. Well, I would say the only thing it’s like is that there are floors and walls and streets and earth. And that’s it. Because those are the boundaries. And you can go on to, you know, millions of different ways that there are boundaries, but really to get down to it. A lot of those things can change too.
Oli: So the way that I like to look at it is that there’s a difference between the world and reality. I think for me, everything basically breaks down into it’s either about wholeness, which is real or it’s about fragments. And the world is just a bunch of fragments. It’s a bunch of ideas that we’ve acted on collectively that have created what we call the world. So even with what you said about walls and roads and all this stuff, all of those things started as a thought in somebody’s head. Basically, any idea does anything that we anything that we mold the world around us with. It originally was a thought in somebody’s head.
And you could say that about anything like actually like a book or whatever. All these things started in someone’s head. And so if the thoughts that we are having are fragmented and disconnected from the truth about life, then the world that we build is going to be an extension of that. And ultimately it goes back to this thing.
I think it’s in the Kite Valley and or something like that. As within so without. And so our inner experience, individually and collectively, shapes what goes on outside of us, because we don’t see the world as we are, as it is, sorry, but as we are, and we don’t experience it as it is, but as we are. And so it all starts with our internal relationship. And I think if people can understand that, then the external world will affect them way less, because they’ll be picking up less social programming, less assumptions, less expectations, all that kind of crap.
But also, they’ll be able to see that they have a lot more choice and a lot more power and a lot more autonomy over their lives. Because all of that external stuff is not just something to take at face value. It’s not a barrier or whatever it may appear to be. It’s just ultimately a reflection of the thoughts we’ve already had or the people before us have already had in the case of the world and social systems and all that kind of thing. And so it can all be changed.
If it came from human beings, it can be changed. So I totally agree with you about the reality stuff. And I’m glad that you’ve brought it up, because I think in relation to your three pillars, that understanding of reality as a foundation is actually essential to making as much sense as possible of the three pillars. So I keep talking about these three pillars.
Do you want to tell us, first of all, what they are and how you’ve kind of used them to help people or how they have helped people?
Oli: Okay. Yeah. Um, it’s kind of like, uh, we go from a way of looking at things to actually getting to the point where we can actually, quote unquote, do something about it. So these are three concrete pillars on actually achieving what you want to manifest. So it first starts with, well, it’s all tied up. Well, the first two steps are tied up with love. And the first step is realized that you are loved. And I could say unconditionally, uh, metaphysically, um, because there is something out there that loves you.
No, no matter what you do. And you know, you can say, why, how do you know it’s because you’re alive. If you didn’t love you, the first thing you did wrong, he’d kill you.
He ate whatever that presents, uh, the quantum vacuum, whatever it is. You didn’t abide by the quote unquote rules. You wouldn’t be here. And so it goes to the most basic, basic, uh, function of yourself. And, and that can be in my coaching, that can be weeks long because people just can’t understand it. Um, they can’t, they can’t even conceptualize of a thing called God. Uh, they don’t realize that maybe their family could love them or, you know, even society or something like that.
They’re just so caught up with the hate that they can’t even realize that they’re loved and you’ve got to realize that you are loved before you can do anything else. So the second step is that you have to, from that realization, you have to kind of say, imagine, or, um, you can actually think about that you love yourself. And everybody says, Oh, I love myself. It says, well, go look in the mirror and say, I love you 10 times and see what comes up in your mind. And don’t give me any, uh, any, uh, crap about, Oh, it says in the back.
I do it all the time and I’ve done it for years. And you know what comes back at me? No, you don’t.
No, you don’t. Look at what you did here. Look at what they did there. Look at this world. I’ll screw it up.
It is, it’s all the excuses. And that’s the second hurdle to overcome is that you’ve got to actually have to begin to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say, I really do love myself at least a little bit, despite everything else. And you begin to take on God like qualities because God loves you unconditionally, no matter what you did. And realizing that, then you look in the mirror and say, no matter what I did, no matter what happened, I still love myself. And then finally you can get to the third step is called finding your dream.
And that is an ever ongoing process. You never really find your dream because, um, the universe, the universe is always expanding, everything is moving and changing. Even your dream changes. Let’s just say you had a, a crappy material dream of, of, um, buying a house. Well, the first house you got was 800 square feet, uh, and, or 250 meters. No, no, 50 meters or 60 meters or something like that.
Well, now you’ve accomplished it. Well, you keep going and pretty soon, uh, no, I need a 2000 square foot meter, a 200 square square meter, uh, 2000 square foot house. And so your dream is changing all the time and that’s just a material thing. You’re always growing and changing. I, I, uh, got to this level of realizing that I’m loved and then I love myself. So now I have a dream. I get to the next level and my dream gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And so it’s always an evolving, ongoing process where you keep going back to really saying, okay, how do I love myself?
I mean how much am I loved? Okay, then that will go and precipitate the dream and from the dream It will get so real to you that now you can go out and accomplish things Things just open up to you. This is what this is my dream. This is what I’d really love to do And it’s always how do I want to be what do I love to do it’s not what I want to have Because we can all get tied up with the new car and the new house and the new The new girlfriend the new wife, you know all those things. No, no You have to be a certain way before you have those things.
Oli: Yeah, wow, okay, so I think what we need to do is just break these three pillars down one by one But just to make sure I understand the point of them right basically in Life people are always trying to get places.
It seems everyone’s running around like headless chickens. They set goals for themselves But a lot of the time Those goals are not necessarily real or true to who that person really is and it’s because then setting these goals before they’ve done that in a work of realizing that they’re loved or connected to life or whatever language you want to use and they also Have some inner stuff going on where they judging themselves or maybe they I don’t know they caught up in the illusions of duality and all these different things that can happen to people they got false assumptions and so on and so forth and because of that their inner state of being is not really conducive to get the kind of things that they actually want and need from life because they’re living with a kind of inner friction..
..and so these three pillars of realizing that you’re loved loving yourself and then find a direction Basically, just make sure that by the time you get to the goal setting phase or the vision setting phase Whatever people want to call it that you’re actually choosing something that is real and true and authentic to you.
that a fair assessment?
Vince: Yes, yes, very the exactly We can only really achieve our dreams or even have a drink No, no, we can only achieve our dreams or find our dream if we come from a point of Love and you could use a lot of other words But I just use love and a lot of times I start out the whole session with what Realizing that you always do have a dream You are living your dream that you dreamed of Five years ago, whatever before you were born all this stuff you always do live your dream so all you need to do now is Do the steps so you can find the real one that you want and don’t just say well, you know, I Have a dream and it’s out there. No, it’s not it’s right here with you right now And you’re living it you’re dreaming that dream right now.Yeah, so let’s change it.
Oli:Wow, what you said is so true. The problem is that people – they’re dreaming without even knowing that they’re dreaming They’re not consciously using these laws and principles that you’re talking about and so Whether you know whether you’re aware that you’re using the law of attraction or whatever we’re talking about Whatever when I call it or not these natural laws don’t go anywhere.
They’re always working, they’re always operating and so if you’re asleep because you’re lost in the ego and all that kind of stuff You’re just acting out as a consequence of your social programming of self-hypnosis and blah blah blah The law of attraction is still working And so actually what you need to do is wake up and see that you are Kind of in a lucid dream actually and you can play a role in it and by making choices and accepting that you loved and all So if you’re talking about you’re gonna get better results and be able to kind of mold reality in this You know to a higher degree. Obviously you can’t change everything like you said so for example You know these natural laws are just a thing.
I don’t think anyone can ever go against them. So, you know, it’s there They’re the the thing that created us basically, but we can work within the parameters of that So anyway, I’m running and raving. Let’s go through these The three pillars one by one just to give a bit of a mini masterclass, let’s say on Exactly what people can do to start moving down this pathway. So the first one then Realizing that you’re loved You’ve talked about God I Call it wholeness when I’m talking about this some people call it just pure consciousness or whatever there’s all these different words, but they’re all talking about the same thing and Ultimately, it’s this feeling of realness and connection to life and everything else That’s how I normally end up talking about it this feeling of realness is Always there and it’s it’s something that all human beings have probably all living creatures You can’t get rid of it because reality is about wholeness. What’s whole is always complete. It never goes anywhere You can’t add to it.
You can’t take away from it. Blah blah blah It’s just there that feeling of wholeness is is love and all these things There’s a saying I think from the 70s or something or maybe the 60s I think I saw it in like a book about hippies or something. He said God is love is truth It’s all the same thing. These are just words. So anyway, this feeling of realizing that you’re loved, what steps do people need to do in order to kind of experience this thing that we’re talking about the feeling of realness or love from your point of view or God or whatever?
Vince:Yeah, well, it starts Maybe in a metaphysical level, but maybe we can just start on a very practical level. Do you think that your siblings your parents your child And do they love you and then if you’re a normal person to within them Two or three sigmas from from the center if you know anything about probability then yes Your parents love you unless you’ve created Such chaos that they just can’t anymore But they probably still love you but they’re loving you from a long ways away Because you are their progenitor you are their offspring.
They really don’t in a way have any choice It’s built in and that’s the biggest thing, you know, and you can go under that another example is do you love your children? yes for 99.9 % of the normal people not the psychopaths or something else Yes, no matter what they do you love them maybe if they’re on drugs and all this stuff that you can’t have anything to do with them, but you still love them and So that’s just an example of It, you know right down here now we can take that to ultimately just to go on and say God is everything everywhere all at once and so everything is a part of him and so that you’re here and I would say because you’re here and because that is who source is or what source is or God or whatever that means that there must be something good about you.
That you even are here…there must be something there And then we can go yeah, God is unconditional love You can say does somebody create something that it hates Well, no, they’d create it because they want to see it Come into being you don’t build a house because you hate the house you build a house because you love it and so The other way around it’s like okay now after you build a house and maybe it becomes you know a Wait around your neck because of the maintenance you might change your mind a little bit But I don’t I don’t think God is like that because he’s got enough power say oh I created this Didn’t like that part.
So I’ll just kind of let it go, you know, let’s go on creating some other thing So you’re still here. So he hasn’t let go of you So it’s all of these reasons that you have to have Set so deep inside of you That nothing can shake that that you are loved No matter what and that takes a lot of thinking processing – some people call it meditating. I don’t really I don’t really call it that – you just got to sit down and think about Being loved and the more you do it the more you will feel it.
Oli: Do you think… like, obviously, there’s a difference between conditional and unconditional love a lot of the Relationships that we have are conditional Because you have to meet certain conditions or you know if you do too much of an asshole and you want drugs and stuff like you said People disown you which is fair enough the relationships are Conditional but the love in most cases is unconditional because love has to be unconditional and so in relation to what you’re saying maybe there’s an element of This feeling you’re talking about when we meditate and we close our eyes and we strip everything away Wwe we don’t actually have a relationship with that love.
We kind of just We are that love or something like that. Do you know what I mean?
Like it’s It’s stripping away all those conditions and when you strip all those conditions away all those fragments then you just left with the whole which is basically you and God or you and truth or you and source – or whatever word people want to use – that’s all that there actually is and once you’ve tasted that that’s what puts you on this path to being able to love yourself and then actually find a Purpose or a dream or whatever.
Vince: Yeah, definitely. Look, I always look at the other point of it say If you sit and look and just think about it. Well, why don’t you think about the opposite? So if you Just be quiet and everything else. Do you actually feel hate? Do you feel hate that’s coming towards you?
And if you do there’s something really really wrong with you. I Would just have to say that because you need to process that because anybody that can sit Silently and think over a period of time and the only thing they can feel that is coming towards them is hate Well, we need to go and really have some deep stuff going on So most normal people would just sit there and say what do I think about? Well, if I am I say don’t think about anything just see what comes up and always It’s a sense of peace sense of calm, you know Everything quits twirling around so fast my you know my mind doesn’t go all over the place It still does but a little less and a little less and a little less And so that’s the evidence that you are loved because that’s just kind of What happens? It’s almost like the default if you really get into it the default is peace and calm and love Yeah, and you need to do some quote-unquote work.
You need to set some time to in the beginning to do that and pretty soon it doesn’t make any difference what you’re doing. I mean Whatever percentage of the day they were doing something we’re doing without even thinking about it and Underneath we can be thinking one of two things Yeah, what’s gonna happen? You know all this stuff or the other thing is I’m at peace.
I’m at calm, the universe loves me , I am worthy, and that just comes to you because of the whole inner work that you’re doing and that you need to do that so much Before you even transition into the thing is I can love myself And the other part of it is then you’re not lying to yourself that’s the biggest thing is once you start saying I love myself That’s a lie You don’t but it’s not a lie to say that I am loved or it’s less of one if you don’t believe it I mean that is a possibility to be believed and then you have that that basis and then you can move on to loving yourself and that facilitates going out and finding your dream.
Oli: So with that This the first pillow right so accepting that you’re loved so realizing that you love It sounds too simple like if people have not experienced it They’ll dismiss it because it’s too simplistic But what you’re saying is so true the default state of a human being is peace joy flow love all these amazing feelings that you can get and All you really need to do you don’t need to go to See a therapist for the next 20 years and talk about all your mummy and daddy issues , you don’t need to analyse every little problem in your life; you need to sit down or put yourself in a situation that returns you to that default position and doesn’t even need to return you to that default position for, you know, 24/7 24 hours a day seven days a week.
You just need to taste it and once you’ve tasted it It will creep into your life more and more and more until eventually your inner state is a reflection of that and you’ll find yourself not worrying as much you won’t be judging yourself as much your outer world. There’ll be a reflection of an improved inner state. You’ll be setting healthier boundaries and all that kind of stuff. You won’t be wasting your time on meaningless action and activities that aren’t inspired by something true inside of you.
All these things. And it all starts by just sitting down and stripping away all these conditions that we were talking about. When you remove the conditions, it’s just the unconditional truth about who you are. And because it’s unconditional, it’s true.
It’s always there for everybody. And so if people are feeling it, then they basically caught up in the hamster wheel of illusions, thoughts, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so yeah, all people need to do is just feel that feeling a little bit.
And then it makes it way easier to do the other two things, loving yourself and finding direction. So I just rambled at you a little bit again. Sorry. But what do you think about that? That it is actually a very simple thing. But also, how does acknowledging those feelings, the default feelings, as you described them, how does that help you move on to the second stage of loving yourself?
Vince: Yeah, it’s like, it seems easy, but there’s a whole bunch of things going on is that we need to learn how to stop the rambling going on inside of ourselves that’s going to be constantly contradicting what we’re supposedly trying to achieve, the default. We don’t have to try to achieve it.
We just have to quit trying to achieve it because every time we try, we’ll never get there. So it’s all this Buddhist philosophy comes in there too and everything else. But I come at it from a basically Western mindset mindset.
And there’s a couple things in there that you can use. And that is by becoming the observer, you watch yourself think, you watch your mind go nuts. And if that doesn’t help you become the observer of the observer, because your mind will take over the observer, they will direct you off.
And so you start watching your mind trying to be the observer, and you constantly do that, I don’t care, maybe you’re observing yourself, observing yourself a million times by the time you get out of that. And the second thing is remember that we have all lived in through trauma, and then get into whatever. And those are things that really stop us from being in that peaceful place.
And those are big things that we have to overcome all the way through all three steps because it’s the unlayering of an onion, peeling of an onion. There are always be new things that your stupid mind, your ego, whatever it is, always going to bring up and say, see, see, and you got to learn how to say, yeah, yeah, I see it. But it doesn’t really, I’m going to let it go.
It has nothing to do with me the way I’m now. Those are just memories that are playing out in the present. And those are just my perceptions of the way it was. And that wasn’t real. What the way I’m judging it now, I choose to judge it differently now.
And that is just the way it is. And you can go say things to yourself. Those are the things that you’ll always run into. And on your way to feeling loved and loving yourself, remember that these things are always going to happen. And that’s what I help with. You come to that point yourself of realizing that I just guide you to overcome the humps and the hills and the mountains and getting you to get over and get through them and get there. And one day, you’re going to have the epidemic. Now I went through this similar kind of thing. And I’ll give a plug to a guy I really respect and he’s got a thing called LifeWorks University. And it’s really LifeWorks. His name is Don Cohen.
I’ll just give him because I respect him. And we went through months and months and months of figuring out what we really want. And there was like 10 or 12 of us and we all had some time to sit down and go through all these things. And once we got to the end, every time there was a breakthrough by people is they just broke down and started crying. They finally figured out through everything what they wanted. And from that, they were also now to the point saying, I have every reason why I want that, the way I want to be and why I don’t want to be the same way that I have been for the last 15 years. I have a reason to change. I have a reason to change.
I got a path set out for me. And once that’s done, you just kind of go, it’s almost overwhelming. Because now I love myself enough to actually go out and find my dream.
Oli: So just to go back a few steps, I guess, what you were saying about trauma is that you are so true. So I’m always talking about three main emotions that are just causing people’s lives to be screwed up: shame, guilt and trauma.
Trauma is obviously the most extreme. But all of those emotions, shame, guilt and trauma, they basically have the same effect on people, which is that it sends them into hiding and into needing, I suppose, a sense of control and freakery. They need to control life instead of going with life.
And they need to control it to stop these emotions surfacing again. But the end result of that is that they can only hide behind one thing. And the thing they hide behind is the ego stuff. And the ego, as I see it, is basically just the opposite of reality. So anytime we start identifying with ego, we get caught up in illusions, we get caught up in fragmentation, we think we’re separate from everything, we think we’re disconnected and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And all that ultimately means is that it’s prevents us from the first step in your three pillars, which is realizing that we’re loved. If reality is love, wholeness, God, blah, blah, whatever you want to call it. And the only thing that can stop us seeing that is the ego stuff, because the ego just ends up filtering reality through what we think we need to see because of what our shame, guilt and trauma is conditioned us to believe about ourselves.
Then actually, the next step, like you said, in terms of loving yourself is about stripping away and deconstructing all that ego stuff. Or at least that’s how I see it when I’m coaching people. So is that how you would kind of approach that if you’re working with someone is ultimately realizing, okay, the, you know, we’re all loved reality, truth is wholeness, God, blah, blah. The thing that stops you from seeing that is your relationship with yourself, which is always your emotional stuff causing a fake identity, aka the ego. And if you can kind of deal with that symptom, then the rest is ultimately going to fall into place.
Vince: No, I think you’re, I think you’re right. We basically agree on things and probably just use different words really I’ll just give you my focus is that I am focusing people on the love part And already showing them that that is what runs the universe. That’s what made everything go Nobody builds a house house without loving it. Nobody buys a car or builds a car without loving loving it.
So I just focus on love and once you do that you’re kind of Gonna realize that you’re running up against stuff And we deal with those things as we come across them. We don’t focus on the trauma We don’t focus on that. We know there’s trauma. Yeah, it comes from shame fear and guilt I include fear in there Which kind of doesn’t create trauma, but something bad happens to us creates the fear and the shame in the guilt so we have to deal with all of those things as they come up to us and You know, it’s so myriad and so many combinations that it’s really hard to You know come on the come up with a specific thing.
That’s got to be geared to each individual but generally It’s that when you’re thinking about love and you’re getting distracted Remember to watch what you’re getting distracted about what is it saying to you? And then you deal with it by saying by various techniques, but here’s a good one. You just say thank you We’re doing what you’re doing. That’s a basic meditation practice. Thank you for what you’re doing and Okay, you said it you’re fine, okay Now it becomes part of the past comes you can actually say we’re gonna set it over there because it’s in the past So I’ve been dealt with and the other part is Realize it that it happened that it came up and say Thanks, and I let you go So I don’t even have to set it over there.
I could just say thank thank you for bringing it up I realize it and you just let it go Yeah Another technique is you can you can tell your ego. I want to think about positive cool peaceful things about love and Why don’t you go over and deal with all that? Crap that you want to deal with all the bad things in the past you go over there And I’ll even give you stuff to play with over there And so you’re tricking your mind or whatever else you’re just telling your ego and all the bad stuff the trauma to go over there and just be trauma Because I want to be over here in love Well, and so you separate the things out and so there’s you know hundreds of different ways That you can deal with those things and that’s when you get into coaching is that you got a you got a Have all these tools and techniques right at your fingertips and I’ve been studying this for a Probably over 30 years So there’s so many in there that I got thousands and thousands and thousands of them and just one just comes up when When I get what you’re feeling and what you’re saying So why don’t we try this all that in work?
Well try this well, you know, and if you’re at all wanting to Find your dream and feel some love We’ll find one. I always remember I was going to a counselor Long long time ago and I was just being negative and what do you do when you go to a concert? Tell them your problems and You know and it’s like finally he just said you know what? There’s got to be a way through this What? Oh There’s got to be a way through this And that’s all he said and finally I went to myself you idiot Let’s look at the way through it not all the problems.
Yeah, and I call myself an idiot already You know I was in it, but it started a change in me. It started saying okay Let’s look focus on solutions not on problems. Yeah Yeah, yeah problems are as good problems are always going to be there solutions Solutions are the hard part. We think the problems are the hard part.
No Solutions are the hard part because we’re so immersed in the problem We can’t even get the first base on the solution. Yeah, it’s a total 180 and that’s with all the reality That’s the whole thing. I got about reality. What is true about today?
If you look at the last three years Not much Everything’s been a lie every everything that everybody has told us is pretty much a lie and Continues to be so there’s a really good example about your whole life I mean everything you’ve done up to now have pretty much be said a lie unless you’re living in a place of pretty much peace and Even then only the people that want to move to a certain place So they they got to where they are right now kind of believing in themselves. So their Ability is to get to a new place is because they are at a place Where they were their dream took them to But they know that you want to get to a different place. So those are the people gonna gonna want them, you know Listen to you and I and so we’re we have to deal with a little higher I don’t know – I don’t want me to judgment, but somebody who’s got some self-awareness and wants to move.
And it’s but they’re up, but they are all in the problem and not in the solution including me.
Oli: Hmm. Well, I actually think in, in reality, there are no problems like this is the thing and so when you when you’re perceiving problems everywhere is always an ego thing and it’s because I can say this because problems only really exist at the level of judgment. So you’re judging it as either good or bad value judgments and, actually, in reality there is no good or bad because good and bad are just parts of the the path I guess to finding what is actually true or in order to get to reality of the transcend good and bad as well Say and so if you can see that and step back That makes it easier to maintain this feeling of realness and to stay in love with yourself because you’re not judging yourself You’re not judging the problems.
You’re not judging anything, you’re just accepting life and accepting yourself because that’s all you can do with reality and you’re moving forward and you’re expanding and you’re growing. So again, I’m been long-winded but in terms of loving yourself can we summarize that little pillar? I was just saying loving yourself ultimately is about stripping away all of the judgments all of the conditions you’re putting on yourself That stop you from feeling that feeling of realness we were talking about so it’s about acceptance of everything to the greatest extent possible not saying it’s yeah, I think put.
Oli: Yeah, I think that you’re right. I mean, it’s, are there any problems? No, only the ones we let ourselves be into. And it goes back to what is the universe? The universe is love.
That’s all it is. And so the only thing that there is available to us if we really want to accept it is love. So now you’re saying there’s no good or bad. Well, that’s just the outcome of knowing that the universe is love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, so, but I don’t know, it’s kind of an advanced concept, because everybody’s been steeped in duality and the good and bad and all this stuff.
I don’t know. I, you know, sometimes it’s like, that’s an advanced concept. But really, it is.
And it’s just an outgrowth of realizing that you are loved unconditionally. And it doesn’t make any difference what you do. And who knows, I’ve even written about who knows 30 years later, that what you did is good or bad. Of course, many people say, well, I wouldn’t be the person I was today if I didn’t do all those things.
Well, I don’t know. I wish the 30 years ago, I don’t mean made different decisions because I’d be in a different, probably better place if I made better decisions. So it, it, there is no good or bad, but I think there’s shades, shades of gray in there. I mean, you made a better decision than a worse one, you know, I decided not to get drunk, not to get drunk tonight, or not to take that 10th drink. And that was a better decision.
So it’s, it’s somehow it’s a, a good, better, best thing rather than a good and evil thing. And we can get to that point. Now, it’s easier to love ourselves.
It’s easier to shift that forward. And I like to get down, we start with grand concepts, and then we chunk them down, chunk them down more and to more, and that applies to our daily life and how we can move through it. I always say, I want to help you survive this current reality and thrive in the next one. Because really, I don’t think that this current quote unquote reality that we’re in all its lies can survive. And so I think this is the most important thing that you can do, because our, our world is crashing down upon us.
And the people who aren’t awake, they’re going to go totally insane. When all of a sudden they realized everything that they live for, or even a portion of it, doesn’t make sense. And that’s what happens when you can’t accept it. You can’t accept even the most basic things about your life.
You will literally lose your mind. And we can’t have that happen. We can’t have that happen to even 10 % of the population. It’s going to have disastrous consequences. So this is the most important work anyone can do is keeping people from going insane. And that is by teaching them about loving themselves and achieving their dream. And what you say is reality.
True reality. That will save their very life. And, and I could even say their soul because they might have to make up. They might have to make up in their soul, all these things that they believe they got to have to learn so much more. They’re going to have to start over from zero.
But if we can get them to one, at least they got some further than they would have been by themselves. Because everybody’s going to work. They’re not thinking about anything. They just go home, blah, blah, blah.
They believe everything they hear. No, it’s time we quit doing that.
Oli: Yeah, I think what you said about people going insane, when this particular incarnation of the system collapses, maybe in the next 50 years or something, let’s say, within that timeframe, but anyway, the fact that people can go insane because the system changes shows you how invested people’s identities are in the world that we’ve built. And so earlier on in this conversation, I was banging on about how the world is not reality.
And also that in order to make the most out of your goals or the actions that you take in the world in life, you need to go through this process that I’m always talking about of raising awareness, accepting yourself and then taking action, or in your case of realizing that you’re loved and then loving yourself and then taking the action after doing that.
The only reason people can go insane in this particular instance we’re talking about is because they have been acting and engaging in a world that was designed by people that did not realize they were loved, did not love themselves. And so the world they designed was a reflection of that thought process. Like I said right at the start, like everything starts with the thought in someone’s head.
If that person doing the thinking does not love themselves, then they’re going to design something that is also a reflection of a lack of love. And you just have to look at the world around you to see that, right? And these people who are, you know, we’re making a lot of assumptions, but these people are probably going to go insane is because they will realize that the world they are treating as real is unreal. And that crash from unreality to reality is always a very dramatic and painful process.
It can be a good thing in the long run because once you hit reality, hit rock bottom, then you can start rebuilding in a much more real way. But in general, the start of that process and the start of that slide down from unreality to reality again, it does feel like you’re losing your mind.
But the good news is reality never goes anywhere for anybody. And so everybody can tune back into this feeling of realness and then do something with it in the way that we’re talking about. So anyway, just to bring all this together, can you just tell us a bit more about the finding the dream part and, you know, how it relates to everything else we’ve just said?
Vince: Well, first thing about finding the dream is the words that remember that the dream changes. And the more you evolve and grow and love yourself, your dream will change and always be open to that. Don’t just say, well, I wanted the new car and how I can sit down and relax for the rest of my life.
You do sit down and enjoy the car. You do enjoy the new level of peace and joy and relationships that you have. But always realizing that it is changing and it is growing. And that’s what keeps you alive is constantly finding your dream constantly loving yourself, constantly feeling the love of the universe. And then it’s really, really, oh man, it’s just so hard. When you get to the finding of your dream, it’s like ask yourself the question.
I do this all the time myself. What do I really want? Wow, can you come up with anything concrete?
I mean, other than peace and love and joy. Yeah, okay, all right. But yeah, that’s excellent to work on. And that’s the first thing that you do. But then, you know, you got to get up tomorrow morning and say, what am I going to do? Well, I’m going to feel peace and love and joy.
Well, again, ego is going to get in there. What you’re going to be able to do five minutes. You know, if you’re lucky, I know people can’t even do it for a minute and neither could I. Can’t even do it for a minute. So what are you going to do at the other 23 hours and 59 minutes?
And so you’ve got to come up with some concrete things, a dream that you want to work for. And what is, and what is that joy and peace and love look like in your life? Where would you be? What would you be doing?
What would be the outside circumstances? Would you live in a city? Would you live on a farm?
Would you live in a jungle? And you just have to go over and over and over it until you actually get to the point that, yeah, this is approximately where I want to be. And of course, it will always change. But at least you can get to the point where you kind of say, you know, I could sit in this place for 10 minutes and be totally okay. of it. In the rest of the time, I could be actually what on my computer doing things I love or out there building stuff that I’d love to do or creating a painting, a sculpture, a house, taking care of plants and food and animals. I mean, it just goes anywhere, you know, and you just get all of that stuff and you just pick out what you want and what would make you feel the best.
Oli: Yeah, yeah. I think it’s that simple. Like, what feels good, but not in a hedonistic way where you’re trying to escape from yourself. When you were talking, it reminded me of what you were saying about Buddhist philosophy and all that kind of thing, where as soon as you start trying to heal yourself or you start trying to fix your life or you start trying to do all these different things that people try and do, that is when the problem actually starts. And it’s the same with this in a way.
So if you’ve gone through these stages that you’re talking about of realizing that you’re unconditionally loved, loving yourself because you stopped judging yourself, you accept yourself unconditionally, well, really, when you get to that stage, you don’t need anything to do.
Like, it’s not like adding a Lamborghini or, I don’t know, in my case, like a shiny new guitar or something to my collection of accoutrements I picked up in life, it’s not like adding that stuff is going to make me feel any better or really change anything, because the real stuff is always there, that’s the whole point, right? But you need to do something with your time.
So it’s about choosing things that are going to give you pleasure, they’re going to give you an amazing experience, they’re going to allow you to help other people to express yourself in the right way and help other people on their journeys and all this stuff. The dream part is something that I think you want it, but you don’t really, it doesn’t matter if you get it or not. And so you detach from it, you’re outcome independent. And ironically, having that attitude means you’re more likely to get the things that you want anyway. And you’ll still appreciate them and you’d be grateful for them.
But you realize it’s all just part of the ride. It’s not you. It’s just something that you chosen. And as long as you’re making choices that allow you to keep growing real and expanding and experiencing more wholeness and blah, blah, blah, then it doesn’t matter. But not in a nihilistic way. I would say like nihilism is just the same as spirituality, but nihilism is just saying everything’s empty. So fuck it. Spirituality is saying everything’s full. So fuck it.
Pardon my French. Let’s just do what feels good and do what I need to do. And so for me, once you’ve had that feeling of realness, it all just falls into place and everything else is gravy. I don’t know if that’s how you see it, but that’s it.
Vince: Yeah, absolutely. And to get it in a little more concrete terms is that the dream will dictate what you’re going to do. And what I call it is the next right thing.
So you always bang up against something and when you have your dream, it’s like, okay, the question becomes, so what do I do about it? And it’s only the next right thing. Let’s not get all crazy and all tense about it.
It’s the next right thing. And unfortunately, the universe is going to put something in front of you that you absolutely hate. And you say, I will never do that. And that’s what the universe is going to tell you to do. Unfortunately, in most cases, hopefully not every one, but it’s going to be the thing that you don’t want to do. You might not say that’s the absolute thing I want, but it’s I won’t do this. And so it’s going to ask you absolutely to do that.
And once you keep doing that and keep doing that, it’s going to be, I get better and better. The other thing is the next right thing is only the next right thing until you get, you tell you receive feedback. Then it might not have been the right thing.
But yeah, it was at the time. And so now you change it to the next right thing. You do that till you get feedback.
And then you do the next right thing until you get feedback, change it and you keep going. And that’s how you could just say, you know, I don’t care. Like you said, I don’t care. It’s all the same. All I’m doing is the next right thing waiting for feedback to the next right thing. And there’s no stress. There’s no nothing I’m not judging myself and not judging anybody else. I’m just doing what the universe is asking me to do. You can say the universe, you can say, yeah, you can say the universe or what wells up inside of you or however you experience it.
Oli: Yeah, love it. And if you don’t go through the other steps of realising you’re loved, loving yourself, then you’ll never be able to just live in that way where you’re just doing the next right thing, the next right thing, the next right thing, because you’ll think that everything you do has to be way more significant than it actually is because of your ego stuff and the way it’s invested in it. So wow.
Well, Vince, I think we’ve smashed out your three pillars. We’ve said a lot about them. I think everyone’s got a good understanding of them. And I found this really interesting. Have you got any final words of wisdom to sum this conversation up? We’ve covered loads of stuff. And I don’t know, how would you sum it up or what are your final reflections?
And can you tell people where they can find you as well, please, on the internet?
Vince: Well, here’s what I got is that my system is a what I call a stress free system. We’re not putting any stress on you because we’re just teaching you how to love and accept love. We’re just teaching you how what you’re already dreaming and making it better. We’re not, we’re not putting you under stress. We aren’t you are, of course.
So it’s a stress free system. My blog is at VinceSalzer.com, VinceSalzer.com. I have a Facebook that’s Vince Salzer. It’s my name. I also have a kind of a group called How To Find Your Dream.
So I kind of named that way because it’s actual steps on how to do it. You can join me there. I’m on Twitter at VJSalzer, LinkedIn at VinceSalzer. I mean, you can find me all over the place. And, and those are the main ones, Facebook and my blog. And I’m on Telegram and WhatsApp too. And all under my name, you can find me there. Awesome.
Oli: So I’ll share those details in the show notes so people can click the link or whatever and find you. I love what you said about the stress free system because I think the choices people make to make them feel like the love thing is not real. That’s the only thing that adds tension. It’s the only thing that adds stress.
And so actually by unlearning all this stuff and getting on the real path that you’re talking about, life is a lot less stressful, like a lot less stressful. So anyway, that’s been awesome. Vince, thank you so much for coming on here today and talking about all this stuff. And maybe I’ll get you on again one day.
But I really appreciate your time. It’s been awesome.
Vince: And thank you Oli. I really had a fantastic time. You’re a very good interviewer.
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