If You’re Scared to Say the Wrong Thing, You’ll Never Say the Right Thing.

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by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness

Growing real is the first step; expressing something real is the second.

How you choose to express you REALNESS is up to you:

-You can express it through your CREATIVE WORK.

-You can express it through the CHOICES you make about how to live a real life in an unreal world.

-You can express it through you BOUNDARIES and what you choose to say “No” to because you know your worth and so you live according to the holy mantra:

“GIMME SOMETHING REAL OR GTFO” (see Shadow Life – the second greatest book of all time).

What’s clear is that the more REAL you become, the more potency and power there will be behind your WORDS and ACTIONS and what they have to SAY to the world.

The reason for that is because – when you come from the REAL PLACE – your words and actions are beautifully ROOTED (in the truth) and so they can’t help but express something with a similar degree of force or potency.

A stumbling block that many people reach on this journey (of DEFRAGMENTING themelves and becomeing WHOLE again) is that they do the ‘inner work’ required to face themselves and start cultivating self-acceptance but that self-acceptance is still CONDITIONAL in that it is only expressed internally and not EXTERNALLY.

This doesn’t mean that you need to OVERSHARE every little thought, feeling, or vulnerability that floats across the debris of your stream of consciousness but it does mean that eventually – when the REAL, inner you meets the unreal, external world – you have a CHOICE to make.

Sometimes, for the sake of keeping the ‘peace’ in the short-term we decide to hide ourselves and what’s really going on long-term…

Sometimes, that’s fine because not every little detail of what we’re experiencing is interesting or relevant to the world (unless we’re SELF-OBSESSED which is just EGO).

Other times, we need to make the call and get over our fear of ROCKING THE BOAT by sharing or expressing who we really are.

There’s no point hiding something REAL because it will always come out in the end – you might as well CHOOSE your moment.

The only ‘right’ thing is the REAL one and if you fear saying or showing it to the world you’ll always feel like you’re UNREAL.

Unleash it.

I can help you help yourself grow real.


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Books: Go DEEPER and Grow REAL

Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness

Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness is a book designed to help you look at your life from the inside-out so that you can stop holding yourself back and go get what you really want. 

It contains 166 practical ‘Revolutions’ for awareness and over 8,000 Self-Guidance Questions for you to uncover new insight about yourself, the world, and reality that you can translate into action and start building your real life on the realest possible foundation.

Shadow Life is an exploration of the human shadow and the hidden side of our personalities. It looks at the masks we wear, where these masks come from, and how we can take them off.

The book explores how we can better manage our relationships with shame, guilt, and trauma in order to remove the Mask that the world has asked us to wear (and that we forgot we were wearing) so we can live an authentic life with less drama, chaos, or BS whilst we’re still around.

The Flow Builder Journal has everything you need to make the next 21-weeks of your life a turning point.

It has monthly, weekly, and daily (morning and evening) check-ins, tools and reflections to keep you in the zone and keep you flowing with zest and momentum.

If you want to get unstuck and grow REAL then check it out.


7-Day Personality Transplant System Shock (for REALNESS & Life Purpose)


Download EGO/SHADOW/TRUST - a free guide to transformation that will walk you through the vital stages of Awareness, Acceptance, and Action with practical strategies to implement right away.

Join the 7-Day Bare Ass Minimum (BAM) Challenge and start to implement foundational health habits and a powerful life vision only a week from now.

A REAL conversation can change your life...

Book a free 'virtual coffee' with me below to talk about anything you've read on this site and how to move forward in life in a real way.

Hi, I'm Oli Anderson - a Transformational Coach for REALNESS and author who helps people to tap into their REALNESS by increasing Awareness of their real values and intentions, to Accept themselves and reality, and to take inspired ACTION that will change their lives forever and help them find purpose. Click here to read my story about how I died, lost it all, and then found reality.

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