Self-Judgement is Always Learned. It’s Not Your Natural State.


Judging yourself (or anybody) isn’t your natural state.

It might feel ‘natural’ if you’ve just taken it onboard as part of your personality but that’s just because you’ve got used to that voice in your head following you around and analysing your every move.

There’s an old saying in coaching that if somebody spoke to you like you spoke to yourself in your head then you’d probably end up smacking them and you’d – at the very least – tell them to STFU.

Because that judgemental voice or ‘inner critic’ has become part of our daily routine we’ve just got used to it and allowed it to continue its business – in many cases, we even end up thinking that the voice is who we are.

The TRUTH is that you picked up that voice somewhere in the outside world and it’s caused you to be disconnected from yourself, the world by extension, and any semblance of REALITY.

In most cases, this voice came from a CRITICAL PARENT or some ‘AUTHORITY’ FIGURE like a disagreeable teacher or something.

In other cases, it might be from old ‘friends’ or peers from the past who were projecting their own ‘stuff’ onto you and because of whatever shame, guilt, and/or trauma you were carrying you decided to take it on as the actual ‘truth’ about you.

The FACT is that if you’re running around all day judging yourself then you don’t understand who you are and you don’t understand REALITY.

The reality is that you are beyond the judgement of other human beings because no other human being can comprehend the truth about where you are, what you did to get there, and where you’re going.

When you find yourself in a hypnotic state of self-judgement it means that you’ve taken UNREAL standards from the outside world as being your REAL VALUES and INTENTIONS (which are always from a place of WHOLENESS when you’re real because reality is WHOLE).

These standards always show up as ‘shoulds’ about ourselves or the world.

Self – “I SHOULD be/do/have [what I’m told, not what I INTEND]

World – “I SHOULD fit into a certain [box/script/pattern/etc]”

The reality is you don’t NEED to do anything except accept where you are and where you want to be .

Move towards WHOLENESS and judgement slips by the wayside.



I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):


Creative Status Podcast

If you're interested in growing REAL, creativity, and living a life that you really want to be living then check out the latest episode of Creative Status - a podcast about deconstructing ego, integrating the shadow, and learning to trust life.

7-Day Personality Transplant System Shock (for REALNESS & Life Purpose)

A REAL conversation can change your life...

Book a free 'virtual coffee' with me below to talk about anything you've read on this site and how to move forward in life in a real way.

Hi, I'm Oli Anderson - a Transformational Coach for REALNESS and author who helps people to tap into their REALNESS by increasing Awareness of their real values and intentions, to Accept themselves and reality, and to take inspired ACTION that will change their lives forever and help them find purpose. Click here to read my story about how I died, lost it all, and then found reality.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Previous Story

Real Men and Women are Rare.

Next Story

Two Ways to Free Yourself from the World: 1) Abundance Mindset, 2) Detaching Your Self-Acceptance from Outcomes

Latest from Life Philosophy

Chat Now
a REAL conversation can change your life
Oh, hi there.

How can I help you grow real today?

(This opens an actual WhatsApp chat - it's not a bot!)