by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness
Judging yourself (or anybody) isn’t your natural state.
It might feel ‘natural’ if you’ve just taken it onboard as part of your personality but that’s just because you’ve got used to that voice in your head following you around and analysing your every move.
There’s an old saying in coaching that if somebody spoke to you like you spoke to yourself in your head then you’d probably end up smacking them and you’d – at the very least – tell them to STFU.
Because that judgemental voice or ‘inner critic’ has become part of our daily routine we’ve just got used to it and allowed it to continue its business – in many cases, we even end up thinking that the voice is who we are.
The TRUTH is that you picked up that voice somewhere in the outside world and it’s caused you to be disconnected from yourself, the world by extension, and any semblance of REALITY.
In most cases, this voice came from a CRITICAL PARENT or some ‘AUTHORITY’ FIGURE like a disagreeable teacher or something.
In other cases, it might be from old ‘friends’ or peers from the past who were projecting their own ‘stuff’ onto you and because of whatever shame, guilt, and/or trauma you were carrying you decided to take it on as the actual ‘truth’ about you.
The FACT is that if you’re running around all day judging yourself then you don’t understand who you are and you don’t understand REALITY.
The reality is that you are beyond the judgement of other human beings because no other human being can comprehend the truth about where you are, what you did to get there, and where you’re going.
When you find yourself in a hypnotic state of self-judgement it means that you’ve taken UNREAL standards from the outside world as being your REAL VALUES and INTENTIONS (which are always from a place of WHOLENESS when you’re real because reality is WHOLE).
These standards always show up as ‘shoulds’ about ourselves or the world.
Self – “I SHOULD be/do/have [what I’m told, not what I INTEND]
World – “I SHOULD fit into a certain [box/script/pattern/etc]”
The reality is you don’t NEED to do anything except accept where you are and where you want to be .
Move towards WHOLENESS and judgement slips by the wayside.
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