by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness

Real Always Works

What is Spiritual Coaching?

Spiritual coaching is an art form that helps people unblock themselves from the fragmented limitations of the conscious mind so they can align with wholeness and get into the flow of life (rather than having to force it to conform to whatever limitations they’ve identified with).

When you really think about it, at core, all spirituality is about unblocking resistance and distortion to perceiving and moving with reality as wholeness – it’s not about accumulating knowledge or following dogma; it’s about uncovering the truth and living it. This is what makes coaching such a powerful tool when it comes to growing real and returning to the truth about oneself, the world, and reality.

The only ‘thing’ that usually stops people from aligning themselves with the truth in the way that coaching can help them to do is that they’ve picked up a false identity (EGO) that they end up filtering life through.

When they ‘filter’ life in this way then end up resisting and distorting the truth and putting themselves an unreal path to a place they don’t want to be (and feel the constant call of the Void on the way there):

Ego Resistance: Means that we’re denying the truth and refusing to accept it because it threatens our ego in some ways. This means we don’t BE, FEEL, or DO the things that re REAL to us and open up a spiral of negativity.
Ego Distortion: Means that we distort our view of reality to keep the illusion going. This means we live in a world of misperceptions (because of unconscious fear of facing the truth) and so we don’t hold believes that truly serve us and our growth.

All coaching ends up being ‘spiritual’ coaching in this sense as we have to uncover anything that is blocking the truth (as these blocks are usually what cause all of the symptoms that make us feel like we want to change and transform our lives in the first place: being ‘stuck’, anxiety, depression, frustration, etc. etc. etc.).

Spiritual Coaching is About Creating Space, Not Giving Answers

Many people mistakenly believe coaching is about receiving answers from a mentor or guide but this is a simplification and forgets a fundamental truth: that we all have access to the truth and the answers we need to nurture the seeds of our potential and live the life we’re supposed to be living.

In reality, spiritual coaching is about creating the space for you to do the two things mentioned above:

Uncover the truth – Deconstructing the ego and false narratives you’ve absorbed.
Start living the truth – Integrating what you’ve discovered into everyday life by facing your Shadow Self (the real version of you hidden behind the false identity of ego) and taking REAL action.

A good spiritual coach doesn’t impose their views or give pre-packaged solutions because they understand that the context of everybody’s life is different and that we’re all walking our own unique path from fragmentation to wholeness.

Instead, they help you dissolve the barriers preventing you from experiencing reality as it truly is so that you can ‘become’ who you really are. This ultimately means unlearning a lot of the UNREAL beliefs and patterns you’ve picked up so that you can start being REAL again.

This may initially take effort as you battle yourself to let go of old beliefs and illusions but eventually the effort becomes effortless as you get back into the flow and start taking the real actions that are yours.

Spiritual coaching can help you to learn humility and to build flow.

Why People Feel Disconnected From Their Spiritual Side

Most people are out-of-touch with their realness due to deep-seated emotional burdens that distort their self-perception.

These burdens most commonly include the emotional ‘stuff’ listed below:

Shame – The belief that something is inherently wrong with you, causing self-rejection, and either taking the ‘wrong’ (unreal) actions or no action at all.
Guilt – A distorted sense of responsibility that keeps you trapped in unworthiness and motivates you to do things for the ‘wrong’ reasons.
Trauma – Emotional wounds that reinforce a rigid false sense of identity and a feeling of separation and disconnection from the world and life.

These factors, combined with social conditioning – the cultural narratives and stories designed to make you deny yourself rather than express yourself – create an identity based on limited opportunity and fragmentation rather than abundant possibilities and wholeness.

Society often reinforces the idea that life is about control, status, and external validation, which further disconnects people from their real nature and causes them to use broken strategies to try and ‘fix’ themselves (this never works though for obvious reasons).

The Void: Why People Feel Lost and What to Do About It

Those who are out of touch with their realness and their ‘spiritual’ side often feel a presence of the Void—an inner emptiness or sense of ‘restlessness’ caused by a fundamental disconnection from truth.

Many attempt to fill this void with distractions and externalities that can never fill it: success, relationships, spiritual bypassing, or even excessive self-improvement (when the cure isn’t to ‘improve’ yourself but to ACCEPT yourself, your potential, and the work you need to do to make it real).

Again, this is all a broken strategy, because the only real solution is to become the Void – meaning you must fully embrace yourself, including your fears, doubts, and shadows, rather than running from them.

Spiritual coaching helps facilitate this process by guiding you through the necessary stages of transformation: Awareness, Acceptance, and Action.

The Three Stages of (Spiritual) Transformation in Spiritual Coaching

Awareness (Deconstructing the Ego) – Recognising the false narratives, emotional blocks, and conditioning that shape your perception of reality.
Acceptance (Integrating the Shadow) – Embracing all parts of yourself without resistance, including the parts you’ve rejected in order to keep the Ego in place.
Action (Learning to Trust) – Taking steps to live in alignment with wholeness, doing your best, and letting go of the rest.

Misconceptions About Spirituality and Spiritual Coaching

A major reason people struggle with spirituality is due to misconceptions and unrealistic expectations of what it means to be ‘spiritual’ in the first place.

For example, many fall into the trap of believing that spirituality should grant them instant wisdom, instant peace, and the instant ability to control their destiny.

This couldn’t be further from the truth because all of these things are just the Ego’s illusion of control and its desire to be omnipotent and omniscient whilst wearing a ‘spiritual’ mask (usually to self-inflate and compensate for underlying shame, guilt, and/or trauma).

Some common misconceptions include:

“Spirituality is about manifesting whatever I want instantly.”
- Many misuse the Law of Attraction as a means to control life rather than surrendering to its natural flow – it’s like they’re using the truth to serve their material needs instead of serving the truth to become what they really need.
“If I think positive thoughts, bad things won’t happen to me.”
- Life is full of challenges and so true spirituality and spiritual coaching is about learning to trust and navigate reality, not escape from it it (which is impossible, anyway, because what’s real is always real and can’t be escaped from).
“I can become spiritually enlightened without taking action.”
- Growth requires movement and real action – you can’t just meditate on a mountain forever and expect to evolve. You have to get up and do things but make sure that what you’re doing is motivated by your realness, not your ego.
“If I do everything right, life will go exactly as I plan.”
- Reality doesn’t conform to our desires – instead, we must let life refine us and course-correct our path as we let go of the unreal fragments and go deeper into a real sense of wholeness.

Mike Tyson once said: “Man wasn’t made to be humble but to be humbled.”

This sums it up perfectly if you ask me – spirituality isn’t about inflating the Ego with mystical powers or false certainty but about allowing life to shape you, accepting what is, and surrendering to the truth of wholeness.

There’s nothing wrong with setting big goals for ourselves or having a powerful vision – in fact, we need this to be able to grow as real as possible. On the way there, though, we will be humbled because the truth will always prevail and show us where we need to accept some limits and grow through others.

Humility is just a healthy acceptance of our limits and it comes from putting ourselves in the furnace of real action. The unreal will be burned away and all that remains is the gold of what’s real.

Spirituality is a Personal Relationship with Life

In short, then spirituality isn’t about following external rules or receiving pre-packaged truths and so neither is spiritual coaching – it’s about cultivating a direct and personal relationship with life itself.

Nobody can tell you what’s “right” or “wrong” in an absolute sense – only the feedback from life and your inner experience can guide you. Spiritual coaching can help you to acquire that feedback by raising awareness, accepting yourself and life, and taking real action.

If you feel disconnected, lost, or stuck, it’s not because you haven’t found the right guru or philosophy 0 it’s most likely because you haven’t tuned into the truth that life is already showing you.

The more you align with reality, the more any sense of the Void disappears. True spiritual growth comes from refining yourself through real-life experiences, adjusting your path as you go, and staying open to what life is revealing to you moment by moment.

It’s about taking yourself out of your mind and putting yourself in the process of wholeness moving towards more wholeness.

Spiritual coaching is about finding your real life.

Embracing the Mystery of Life through Spiritual Coaching

Life is a great mystery, and embracing this mystery requires both courage and humility:

Awareness, Acceptance, and Action provide a framework for navigating uncertainty and learning to trust yourself and life itself.

True spirituality isn’t about certainty or control – it’s about surrendering to the reality of existence while acting in alignment with truth.

Practical Steps to Implement Spiritual Coaching in Your Life

If you want to start integrating this approach into your life, try the following:

Cultivate Awareness – Journal daily about your thoughts, beliefs, and emotional patterns. Try to notice where you resist reality (usually there will be some friction, frustration, or misery to show you that this is what’s happening).
Practice Acceptance – Spend time sitting with discomfort instead of escaping it. Let go of the need to ‘fix’ everything and to just allow things to be. Sit in meditation and run towards whatever is really going on inside you, not away from it.
Take Aligned Action – Set one small action each day that aligns with truth, rather than which is motivated by fear or is a distraction because of avoidance.

How My Spiritual Coaching Can Help You

My spiritual coaching program is designed to support your transformation through an 8-Session container over 4 months, with daily accountability (Monday–Friday and weekends to reflect and process).

This structure ensures that you not only understand the concepts that get discussed in Sessions but also implement them in your life with real, tangible results.

If you’re ready to stop seeking and start living your truth, book a call to begin your journey towards realness.

In the meantime, remember that spirituality is about cultivating a relationship with the TRUTH – keep uncovering it to the best of your ability and then living it and you will find that connection to wholeness!

Stay real out there,

Trust: A Manual for Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace is a book about learning to return to your realness by cultivating trust in yourself and trust in life.

It contains practical exercises and dedicated meditations (Transformational Bridges) to take you DEEP in knowing yourself and life.

This book will answer many of the questions you have growing REAL and flowing towards wholeness. It covers everything from shame to addiction to the unconscious mind and synchronicity (and way more).

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