A 30-DAY WORKBOOK FOR COUPLES
CO-REGULATION CODEX FOR COUPLES
Stop fighting each other’s nervous systems.
Start growing real together.
A practical 30-day container for couples who want to cultivate co-regulation, tell each other the truth about their patterns and shadows, and build deeper intimacy, play, and rituals that last long after the workbook is closed.
GET INSTANT ACCESS (£9) →Download
Forever
Three Movements. Thirty Days.
A COMPLETE SYSTEM FOR REGULATING, INTEGRATING, & ACCELERATING TOGETHER
Regulate
Days 1–10. Teach two nervous systems how to come back to baseline in each other’s presence.
Integrate
Days 11–20. Tell each other the truth about your patterns, your shadow self, and what you hide.
Accelerate
Days 21–30. Turn the safety and honesty into intimacy, play, vision, and lasting rituals for REALNESS.
WHAT’S INCLUDED
Everything You Need To Start Building Real Connection Together
The Co-Regulation Codex moves you through three phases, one day at a time, because you can’t integrate shadow material safely without regulation underneath it and you can’t accelerate a relationship that hasn’t been brought into the light of truth first and foremost.
I. Regulate
Days 1–10. Build a shared, physical toolkit for coming back to safety and regulation together before you try to talk about the hard ‘stuff’.
- Grounding together and synchronised breathing
- Naming fight, flight, freeze, or fawn without judgement
- Silent eye gazing and touch without agenda
- The pause button, the soft start-up, and presence without ‘fixing’
II. Integrate
Days 11–20. Use the safety and regulation you’ve cultivated to tell each other the truth about your patterns, your shadow ‘parts’, and what you edit out to be ‘easier’ to love.
- Owning what you can’t stand in your partner
- The unspoken truths and the real apology
- Attachment patterns and anger as a signal, not a weapon
- Vulnerability without collapsing and the parts you hide
III. Accelerate
Days 21–30. Turn what you’ve built into deeper intimacy, real play, a shared vision, and rituals that outlast the workbook and shape your relationship moving forward.
- The intimacy ladder and unstructured play
- Gratitude aimed correctly
- Future self visualisation and ritual design
- Conflict at a higher altitude and the practice of radical honesty
WHO THIS IS FOR
This Workbook Was Created For Couples Who Are Ready To Do The Work
Most of what gets called ‘connection’ is two nervous systems trying to feel safe around each other. This workbook will help you do create this consciously and creatively over a structured 30-day process.
You’ll benefit from this workbook if you…
Hi, I’m Oli Anderson.
Coach • Author • Realness
Over the last decade I’ve helped people from all over the world to move beyond shame, guilt, and/or trauma and to overcome unconscious patterns by bringing hidden parts of themselves into awareness.
My work has always been about getting REAL. This workbook is what happens when two people decide to do that work together because I know that REAL ALWAYS WORKS.
LOOK INSIDE
Real Practices You’ll Actually Do.
Every day follows the same simple rhythm: a short teaching, a practice to do together, a prompt to discuss, and a journal page for each of you.
It isn’t a theoretical e-book to read once and forget about but a practical container you work through together one day at a time.
FEATURED PRACTICE
The Daily Container
Couples who don’t know how co-regulation works try to talk their way out of the dysregulated moments between them but this rarely succeeds because the body doesn’t listen to logic when it thinks it’s under threat.
Your nervous system can borrow calm and safety from your partner’s (and they can borrow it from yours) through breath, touch, eye contact and tone of voice. The Codex teaches you how to do that on purpose starting from Day 1.
A shared exercise each day, done in person.
Daily commitments that turn insight into real change.
A Closer Look
The Three Movements
See the whole 30-day arc at a glance.
Partner Journals
Reflect separately, then talk together.
Shadow Work Together
Own what you project onto each other.
Real Intimacy
Go slowly, on purpose, and stay present.
Return To Baseline
Measure where you’ve landed after thirty days.
YOUR COMPLETE WORKBOOK
Everything You Need To Begin Growing Real Together
No subscriptions. No hidden costs. No fluff.
Just a practical 30-day workbook designed to help you feel safe together, tell each other the truth, and build something that lasts.
Your Download Includes
One day at a time across three phases: Regulate, Integrate and Accelerate.
A short teaching and a practical exercise to do together, in person, every day.
Reflection pages for each of you, so you can write honestly before you talk.
A focused question for every day to turn insight into real conversation.
Answer four honest questions before Day 1 and again after Day 30 to see what’s changed.
Phase reviews and a closing commitment so the practice outlasts the workbook.
COMPLETE 30-DAY WORKBOOK
One Download. Thirty Days. A Relationship Built On Purpose.
Whether your relationship is just a bit frazzled or you’re ready to take it deeper, this workbook gives you a practical structure you can work through together, one day at a time.
Instant Access →✓ Instant Download • ✓ Lifetime Access •
WHY REALNESS?
This Isn’t Just Another Communication Exercise.
There’s no shortage of relationship advice online but very little of it works when two nervous systems involved are already on high alert – this workbook will help you to start with the body as your foundation so you can show up regulated and with a sense of actual presence.
Most Relationship Advice…
The Realness Approach
“Regulation first. Everything else? After.”
— Oli Anderson, The Co-Regulation Codex
YOUR 30 DAYS START HERE
Stop Managing Each Other’s Nervous Systems. Start Building Something Real.
Real connection begins the moment you both feel safe enough to tell the truth.
This co-regulation workbook for couples gives you a practical way to begin: one day, one practice, and one real conversation at a time.
THE CO-REGULATION CODEX
£9
One payment. Lifetime access. Instant download.
Instant digital delivery after purchase.
“Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, love is lacking.”
— Carl Jung
Helping people build lives based on Realness since 2014.
This workbook is a practical, educational resource for couples. It isn’t a substitute for therapy or medical care, so if you or your relationship are in crisis, please reach out to a qualified professional.
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