Psychology - Page 13

Posts about psychology that help you to better understand yourself, the world, and reality to live a more REAL life.

Life Rewards You Based On Your Attitude Towards It.

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Life is for the LIVING.

If you want REAL life to give you everything it has to offer then you need to get your mind right and that starts with your ATTITUDE.

People say that “life is unfair” but that’s not quite true….

Life is the great equaliser because it’s available to all of us if we do the work required to ALIGN ourselves with it and do what is ASKED of us.

It begins to seem “unfair” when we resist the CALL of life and answer the call of ‘The World’ instead .

As we’ve said a million times, though:

“THE WORLD IS NOT REALITY” – it’ just a bunch of ideas and assumptions based on our fears about LIFE.

Real life is FAIR because it’s available to everybody – all you have to do is shake yourself out of your slumber and to start BELIEVING in reality and not the world or any of its BS.

When you make the ‘shift’ like this you can start to have an attitude towards life that is creative and LIFE-ENHANCING, not destructive and LIFE-DISMISSING.

A LIFE-ENHANCING attitude DEEPENS your relationship with life:

-You believe in possibility.

-You KNOW that things will always work out.

-You are open to allowing yourself to HAVE the things that life has to offer.

-You believe in yourself as PART of life and that makes you more WHOLE.

-You believe in ACTION and flux because you know that life moves.

-You don’t complain, make excuses, or fail to appreciate the gifts like has already given you.

A LIFE-DISMISSING attitude takes you out of life:

-You only believe in more problems, not possibility.

-You look for reasons why life will let you down again.

-You come up with reasons why there’s something special about ‘You’ that means you can’t HAVE what millions before you have had.

-You think that life is something separate from whatever it is that ‘You’ are.

-You don’t take ACTION because you resist changing yourself (even though you’re unhappy with yourself as you’ve denied LIFE).

-You actively look for new things to complain about or make excuses for so that you can get sympathy and play the victim (because you confuse attention for love).

In short, if you act like LIFE, you get more life; if you deny life, then life denies you.

Life only rewards ITSELF.

 

Let me coach you so you can change your own life.

 

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You Were Born Wild then Made Crazy.

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There’s a wildness in you that can set you FREE if you unlearn to RECLAIM it.

This is because – no matter who you are or what you think your life is about – you were born to survive and THRIVE on the earth and the earth is a wild place.

It’s easy to forget about the WILDERNESS inside us all and the WILD CHILD that’s screaming for attention from deep down in the SHADOWS of ourselves.

It’s easy to forget about all of the PASSIONS, DRIVES, and INSTINCTS that have been buried down there in the depths.

It’s easy to forget who we are when we live in a ‘World’ that’s built only for the little ‘parts’ of who we are and never the WHOLE thing.

When you were born you came with EVERYTHING that you needed – yes, you needed the protection of your parents but the seeds of who you were had already been planted and just needed nuturing and nourishing so the FRUIT could RIPEN.

The problem is that a lot of the ‘WILD’ stuff that you need to channel and transmute to GROW REAL and get where you need to be was DENIED in the face of ‘The World’ and so you started to go a little CRAZY.

What is “crazy” when you think about it?

Crazy is just a lack of alignment with the TRUTH.

If the TRUTH is WHOLE and you begin to identify with just parts of yourself and deem the ‘socially unacceptable’ parts of yourself – like your joy, creativity, and spontaneity; like your anger, drive, and passion – just so you could fit in and identify with a limited interpration of the truth to be of ‘the world’ then tell me…

Is that not ‘crazy’?

Your craziness is ANYTHING that makes you believe that all of the WILDNESS and chaos within you is to be AVOIDED.

That’s just the LIES you’ve been told and then started to hypnotise yourself with so that you can be easier to CONTROL and so that the other crazy people in your world can keep up their own ILLUSIONS about things.

Growing REAL is about ACCEPTANCE of the TRUTH and if the truth is WHOLE that means accepting and embracing the whole of who you are.

There is so much POWER within you but you need to stop being CRAZY and embrace the fact that you were born of the EARTH and that means that you have the wildness within you.

Get ROOTED in the REAL.

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When You Can Handle Your Own Disappointment and the Disapproval of Others You Can Do Anything.

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The quality of your life is about how REAL you let it be.

How real you let your life be is about how BLOCKED or UNBLOCKED you let yourself be based on your ASSUMPTIONS about yourself, the world, and reality itself.

The interesting thing is that – besides the physcial laws of this ‘ere planet we’ve found ourselves on – 99% of ‘blocks’ we perceive are ILLUSORY and ‘exist’ in our hearts and minds alone.

The blocks in our HEARTS exist because we’ve allowed ourselves to be DRIVEN by our unresolved emotional ‘stuff’ (shame, guilt, trauma, etc.) and instead of resolving it by FEELING it and allowing it to teach us what we need to learn to push through the next level of our IDENTITY we just kinda…FREEZE.

The blocks in our MIND exist BECAUSE of this unresolved ‘stuff’ – when we don’t want to face certain TRUTHS about who we are and what we’ve been through, we deem certain feelings and ideas as ‘UNACCEPTABLE’ and then shove them deep down in the SHADOWS of ourselves by keeping ourselves in a CONCEPTUAL MENTAL MATRIX that is designed to stop us facing certain TRUTHS (so we can hide the SHADOW and keep our EGO where it is).

Part of the CURE for this sickness is to start removing ourselves from the JUDGEMENT that locks us into this matrix by understanding how these BLOCKS are kept in place with our INTERNAL and EXTERNAL relationships to ourselves and the world

Internally – we start to FEAR our disappointment. Normally, in the form of ‘failure’, comparison to other imaginary spectres, or UNREAL standards and ‘shoulds’ that we created because of our shadow stuff.

Externally – we start to fear the DISAPPROVAL of others based on what we have JUDGED to be ‘unacceptable’ about us and shoved down into the SHADOWS (projection).

In genral, these two things – our own disappoinment in ourselves and the disapproval of others – BLOCK us from taking action and growing REAL in the world.

The way we deal with this is to COMMIT to UNCONDITIONAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE which means that we embrace who we are and keep LEARNING no matter what.

This is the way to stay REAL because if you accept yourself NO MATTER WHAT then nothing can shake you from internally or externally.

ARISE REAL ONE.

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The Truth that is Written is Never the Real Truth.

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Words are just words but the truth is the TRUTH.

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we’re GROWING REAL because we’re consuming information about personal development, spirituality, or whatever else but all of that stuff is just part of the problem unless we take it off the page and out into REAL LIFE.

This is deeper than just the distinction between theory and practice – it’s about IDENTITY versus EXPERIENCE.

When it comes to REALITY in truth, words, symbols, ideas and concepts only have the power to POINT YOU in the right direction – they are not the direction or destination in itself.

As we’ve said many times on this feed:

ALL CONCEPTS ARE UNREAL BUT SOME POINT YOU MORE CLOSELY TO THE TRUTH THAN OTHERS.

That means, of course, that there’s a Continuum of the Conceptual (sounds aight – just made it up):

At the extreme end is ‘BS’ – i.e concepts and ideas that point you away from truth instead of towards it.

In the middle is ‘Mediocrity’ – i.e. concepts and ideas that observe the truth to some extent but are only sourced in the MIND and so can never grasp it.

At the other extreme is the ‘Rooted’ – these are concepts and ideas that somebody has formulated after touching the TRUTH in their own lives and then doing the best they can to point you in the right direction (often having to use metaphors, stories, because the truth comes through pictures more than empty words).

BS——MEDIOCRITY—–ROOTED

Either way, even the most BEAUTIFULLY ROOTED words either written or uttered are useless in themselves until they TRIGGER something inside you that opens your mind to the moment and brings in a flood of new INSIGHT.

When people treat the words as the truth without the EXPERIENCE of the TRUTH then they just end up being machines that parrot pre-programmed scripts and dogmas – in other words, they have made an IDOL or UNICORN out of the emptiness and imbued it with qualities they have denied in themselves (in this case a connection to TRUTH).

To GROW REAL, you need to take the TRUTH off of the page and into your HEART.

Only then can you align your mind with your heart and ensure that the concepts you carry are pointing you HOME.

Get in touch for a reality check to find and see if my coaching can help you reach your goals.

 

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If Your ‘Confidence’ is Based On Feeling Superior It Can Always be Taken Away

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There’s a difference between REAL and unreal confidence.

REAL is about KNOWING you’re unshakeable because you’ve found a way to be ROOTED in yourself and reality and devoted yourself to some TRUTH about life that’s ‘higher’ than just your limited ideas about ‘You’.

When you’re rooted to the WHOLE in that way you understand who you are and what life is (and the connection between you and live itself) and nothing can ever take that away. Never.

It can’t be taken because it’s not DEPENDENT on anything – it’s just about acknowledging what’s already there, riding those REALITY WAVES, and trusting and believing (trust that life has your best interests at heart and belief in yourself and your ability to handle whatever happens).

This kind of real confidence, then, essentially comes from doing the INNER WORK, and cultivating UNCONDITIONAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE (see my book Shadow Life which is about this).

“Unconditional Self-Acceptance” just means that you accept yourself NO MATTER WHAT and that you commit to working with and growing through whatever life flings your way.

When you take the opposite path – i.e. the EGO PATH – then your confidence isn’t based on unconditional self-acceptance but CONDITIONAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE.

Whereas Unconditional Self-Acceptance comes from the INSIDE, Conditional Self-Acceptance comes from the outside.

Conditional Self-Acceptance (aka ‘Self-Esteem’) means that you’re feelings about yourself are DEPENDENT on the image you carry of yourself in the WORLD (even though the world isn’t real).

For most people, this shows up as feelings of ‘SUPERIORITY’ – for example, being able to see ourselves as being ‘better’ than other people in our group or surroundings because of some completely (usually) superficial and arbitrary quality or thing:

-Being the most handsome/beautiful/attractive

-Having more money/followers/likes

-Being the funniest/toughest/purest/whateverest

-Etc.

There’s nothing wrong with HEALTHY COMPETITION (Iron sharpens iron) but if you’re confidence only comes from external stuff it can NEVER last because CONDITIONS always change – somebody will always be more ‘superior’ eventually.

Step inside and stand on something REAL.

My coaching packages can help you find your real confidence.

 

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“I Don’t Like It/ It’s Not Nice / It Hurts Therefore It’s Not True” – Your Ego

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“The truth will set you free (but first it will piss you off or make you miserable).”
–Personal Revolutions: ASCIR

We’re all walking around trying to live our lives with a REALITY DISTORTION device in our heads.

More than just distorting our reality, this device wraps itself around our SOULS like a parasitic vine and makes us think that we ARE whatever it shows us.

It’s kinda screwed up.

For many of us, we decided to start using this device and buying into what it shows us because we’ve become convinced that the thing we want the most is the thing we most need to avoid.

What is this magical ‘thing’ that we all crave?

It’s called the TRUTH and it’s with you any time you’re ready to quit the act and get REAL.

The problem is that most people have ‘stuff’ from the past that has sent them into HIDING.

When we feel the need to HIDE – because of our shame, guilt, and/or trauma or because of the BLIND TRINITY of fear, pride, and UNCHECKED desire – then we start to think that the COMFORT ZONE we’ve built to keep hiding within and DISTORTING reality from behind is the limits of ourselves and the world.

We’re not to ‘blame’ for finding ourselves in this state – more often than not, we keep ourselves imprisoned within that comfort zone because we have forgotten how to TRUST and BELIEVE in ourselves because something happened somewhere along the line that made us FORGET the truth about ourselves.

The problem is that everything we really want comes from breaking free of the cage and learning to STRETCH ourselves.

Only if we stretch can we allow the TRUTH back in and start growing REAL again.

Of course, when you’re stuck in your own prison like this the ‘guard’ that keeps you there is the one you CREATED for yourself: the EGO.

To stop any new TRUTH coming into your life it will help you LIE to yourself to keep your illusions in place:

“I don’t like it…so it can’t be true”

“It’s not ‘nice’…so it can’t be true”

“It hurts…so it can’t be true”

The TRUTH can never hurt you, though, because it’s everything you ever wanted and really are.

The thing that HURTS is holding onto illusions that the light of reality is showing you to be DISTORTIONS.

Ride it out.

 

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‘Happiness’ isn’t Just About Events…It’s a Process.

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Anybody can be REAL whenever they want – all they have to do is remember.

If you forget that you’re real – because you allow the world to condition you in to staying ASLEEP or because you hypnotise yourself with your own BS – then you take yourself out of the NATURAL process of moving and growing real and you just have unreal TENSION and friction in your life.

When your life is defined by UNREAL tension and friction then you’re not living your REAL life but coping with an unreal life that is the end product of your UNREAL CHOICES.

When everything is unreal in this way, you’re not really living in a way that can be defined as embodying ‘happiness’ because the life you’re living isn’t really yours – it’s just something that you COPE with whilst you passively wait for something better to come along (instead of cultivating AWARENESS, ACCEPTING what you need to, and taking ACTION to make it real again – check out my coaching packages).

When you make these unreal choices it’s always because of your ILLUSIONS about yourself, the world, and reality.

When you buy into these ILLUSIONS, you will do anything to protect and uphold them so that you can avoid the inevitable crash back down to reality (where you’ll find the solid ground and release you actually want).

When you live to protect all of this, your life becomes an incredibly TENSE state where you WASTE all your ENERGY upholding the illusions that imprison you and live for the little RELEASES of tension that make you think you’re ‘free:

-Maybe you live for the weekend so you can release the tension of that job you hate.

-Maybe you live for holidays so you can escape the life you’re fed up of and actually feel like ‘you’.

-Maybe you live for pay day because it’s the only dopamine BUZZ you feel anymore.

Whatever it is, living for these kind of EVENTS takes you away from the truth which is that ‘happiness’ is a PROCESS and you can be in or out of it any time you CHOOSE.

If you CHOOSE the process, then it means you’re not just releasing tension through sporadic events but you build CREATIVE tension between where you are now, where you wanna go, and who you need to BECOME.

Open up and GROW REAL.

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Trust and Belief Go Further than Hope.

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‘Hope’ can sometimes be a dirty word.

If you reach the stage when all you can do is start ‘hoping’ something is gonna happen then it’s already too late (probably).

In many ways ‘hope’ is EGO for two reasons:

1. It’s a completely PASSIVE state of being and puts all of the POWER to change your life outside of yourself by making you believe in the illusion of stasis (where in REALITY and nature things are ALWAYS changing).

2. You normally end up putting your ‘hope’ in things that are powerless in the face of the TRUTH anyway – other people who want to ‘sell’ you hope, UNICORNS in the form of IDOLS that you project all your powerlessness onto, or just pure BS that helps you keep believing what you need to believe to not GROW REAL.

When you reach the stage where ‘hope’ is your best option then you’ve already become unreal and that unreality has led you to become FRUSTRATED.

People ALWAYS need hope as a way of alleviating this FRUSTRATION (which is why there are so many BS artist marketeers and gurus here online trying to sell you hope instead of helping you find solutions to your problems – solutions that can only come from YOU).

When you decide that all you have left is ‘Hope’ then it just means that you’ve decided to give up on the only two REAL options in life:

1. DO something about what can be changed.

2. Accept what can’t be changed and learn from it.

There is almost ALWAYS something we can do.

If you decide to either ACT or ACCEPT then hope becomes redundant – you don’t NEED it because you’re no longer frustrated because you’re either building real MOMENTUM and unblocking yourself.

When you get in the REAL ROOTED MODE, you also understand that ‘hope’ is just the ego’s attempt to FORCE its own meaning onto the world and to act like it understands everything about reality.

When you give up HOPE, you step out of your unreal thoughts about life and realise that it’s about TRUST and BELIEF in yourself and TRUTH.

With ‘hope’ your forcing in the face of uncertainty; with trust and belief, you’re RIDING THROUGH IT on those REALITY WAVES.

With hope, you’re AVOIDING the question completely.

 

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Your World Today is a Reflection of How the ‘Old’ You Used to Think.

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What you put into your life is what you get out of it.

You put something REAL in, guess what comes out?

Yeah, something real.

You put something UNREAL in?

You can probably figure it out.

The ‘problem’ (though it’s really more just a ‘reality’) is that the universe operates according to a law of CAUSE and EFFECT and it takes TIME for these effects to accumulate and give you the results that you want.

What this means is that you could spend your whole life being UNREAL and then decide to WAKE UP one day but it wouldn’t change anything unless you were real CONSISTENTLY over time.

Everything in your life is the accumulation of some PROCESS.

If the process you were involved in for the DESIGN of your life came from a place where you were being unreal with yourself (not your ‘fault’ – probably because of your conditioning and/or unresolved shame/guilt/trauma) then the world you live in today will be UNREAL too.

This is because – due to everything being a PROCESS – there’s actually a LAG.

What this means in practical terms is that your life and WORLD today is just the accumulation of all the choices that the ‘Old’ version of you made yesterday or a few months ago or even years back.

I see this all the time with my coaching clients:

For whatever reason, they were conditioned NOT to be real with themselves (i.e. live according to their REAL values and intentions) and so today the world they’re living in doesn’t ‘fit’ who they truly are deep down.

The solution in this case is to start UPDATING THE SOFTWARE.

Instead of having an unreal personality that was built as an unreal response to something unreal, I have to help people UNLEARN all of that ‘stuff’ and start acting and making CHOICES in a way that is more AUTHENTIC.

Often, this means letting go of the BELIEFS and IDEAS that make them feel like they’re ‘unworthy’ or whatever else they have going on.

When you DIG DEEPER and remove those kinds of beliefs you can start the PROCESS of upgrading the software so that there’s less CONFLICT.

When you do that, things start MOVING again almost immediately, momentum is built, blocks are removed and you just know that TOMORROW is gonna be even better.

 

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Your Emotions are Asking You to Either Accept Something You Don’t or to Enjoy Something You Do.

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The final lesson is always ACCEPTANCE.

Everything else you learn and go through is just putting you somewhere on the spectrum between learning that final truth or getting caught up in JUDGEMENT and holding yourself back from life.

Everything we do is either teaching us how to be more OPEN and to go deeper into life or it’s causing us to put up our defenses and to RESIST (so that we can keep the EGO in place and avoid having to face the SHADOW TERRITORY blah blah – see my book Shadow Life).

The EMOTIONAL LANDSCAPE of your life – in general – is a reflection of your CAPACITY and WILLINGNESS to ACCEPT reality.

If you accept, then you feel ‘good’ because you’re open and there are no/less barriers between you and where life wants to take you.

If you resist, then you fell ‘bad’ because you’re closed and you place illusory barriers (ego ‘stuff’) between you and life and it will forever slip between your fingers.

It’s so easy to attribute a lot of mental health problems to physical or chemical causes but – in A LOT of cases – the ‘mental health crisis’ is just a SYMPTOM of being in an UNREAL world that is constantly trying to distract people and make them forget about what it means to be a living, breathing human being.

Depression, anxiety, restlessness, and a lot of other things are just symptoms of the FUNDAMENTAL problem which is that people are scared to be REAL, have been conditioned not to ACCEPT themselves, the world, and reality and so don’t LISTEN to what their emotions are asking them to ACCEPT.

Instead of LEARNING the lesson, they’re just given pills to pop or ‘talking therapies’ that make them go over and RE-IDENTIFY with the same stories and narratives that made them miserable in the first place.

Negative emotions that LINGER mean that you’re AVOIDING a lesson.

In general:

Depression – means that you have LOST TOUCH with your purpose and stopped MOVING so you feel trapped.

Anxiety – means that you’re putting an unreal version of yourself out into the world and getting FRICTION as feedback.

Shame, Guilt, and Trauma – mean you let the world stop you BELIEVING in yourself.

Etc.

If you don’t learn to ACCEPT reality you’ll always be UNREAL.

 

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