Glossary of Realness

Realness for yourself, the world, and reality.

This glossary gives ‘simple’ definitions of the terms used in Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness. These definitions are specific to my personal ‘philosophy’ so may be different to academic definitions etc. that you’ve picked up previously. This page is designed to give you a good overview of any ideas that can help you to live a better, more real life.


Forward momentum, rooted in the way things are (whether we are aware of it or not). The only Real cure for anything.


In relation to Dialogue, Unreal acceptance is something that we chase from others because of our own insecurities.  This process of chasing external validation blocks our view of the Truth and also stops us sharing it (this form of acceptance is one of the Class A Drugs). This is opposed to the Real acceptance of either the Inevitable or ourselves that makes life worth living in the form of our Realness (the final lesson of ‘Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness‘).


The feeling that occurs when we find ourselves lost in the gap between Expectation and Result or when our Expectations about the future stop us from acting. If we feel consistent anxiety, it is often because we are consistently taking erroneous Ideas about ourselves out into Reality and causing unnecessary Friction for ourselves.


A desire to impress others with our own self-perceived ‘brilliance’ – if we give into this Desire too frequently, we are giving ourselves over to the Ego’s Pride and blocking our view of the Truth. One of the Class A Drugs.


A self-imposed block to Real Communication or Self-acceptance that arises from a desire to hide anything that may be seen by others in a negative light such as Opinions that go against the status quo. One of the Class A Drugs.


Any hypothesis, Opinion, or Concept that is taken as a given and brought to the arena of our lives without digging beneath the surface of or questioning.


Hang our Identity upon some Fragmented thing.


The final product of carrying a series of conceptual and experiential components such as emotional resilience, beliefs, ideas, and knowledge. Dialogue is about communicating with an attitude of Realness.


An Openness to what currently surrounds us, both internally and externally.

Biological System

An organisational System that is structured like a biological organism with a series of ‘elites’ acting as a ‘brain’ at the top of a hierarchy and feeding instructions to the unthinking, insentient ‘limbs’ at the bottom.

Biological Wiring

The way we evolved to function in the environment in which our species first came to be on earth.

Black and White Thinking

Viewing the world and the things/people within it through the lens that they are either one thing or another with no in between. This either/or approach is what happens when we’re unaware that our value Judgements (‘good’, ‘bad’, etc.) of Reality have nothing to do with an achromatic and indifferent reality in itself.

Blind Trinity

The Fear, Pride, and Desire of the Ego.


The erroneous belief that our Conceptual understanding of ourselves, The World, Reality, or the people within in it can give a picture of it all that is 100% accurate without any room for improvement.


The Inevitable state of things as Experienced as Fragmented creatures within a fragmented physical universe. Though there is no change in the Whole overall, we experience it in a way that means we have to readjust our Points of Views based on where we currently stand within it. The Ego fears change because it always brings more Reality (the opposite of ego).


Anything that enters our lives from beyond the ordered Point of View that we construct for ourselves based on the limited Knowledge we acquire from our limited Perception of Reality as a Whole.


The depth of our relationship with Reality as it is; Personality, in contrast, is often an expression of our Desire to escape from this reality. The more we push ourselves to be close to the Edge via reality, the more of our Illusions we lose, and the more character we cultivate.


The ever present option of making things better for ourselves by moving towards more Realness in some way.

Class A Drugs

The addictive ego-strokes of Acceptance, Applause, Approval, all of which block our access to Reality and therefore Truth.


The self-enforced deception that everything makes Conceptual sense about something in the past.

Collective Creative Intelligence

The Intelligence that emerges as a by-product of human beings coming together in their Realness and exploring a given topic or Problem together. It is the most effective way for us to come together and make connections between things in order to find solutions and new Insight.


The Process of sharing Awareness with oneself, others, and Reality.


A part of our Mental Content serving as the building blocks of our Interpretations of Reality. Concepts are at best only ever signposts to reality; some point more closely to it than others, but no concept can ever be 100% Real in itself. As we need to make use of concepts to make our way through The World (which is just a collection of concepts), the best thing we can do for ourselves is ensure that the concepts we carry are more real than not. This removes unnecessary Friction from our lives and prevents Frustration and Misery in the long-term.


The Neurotic belief that we can have total Influence over everything that happens in our lives and the results that our behaviour will have on ourselves and others.

Creative Thrivalist System/’Real’ System

A System discussed in Personal Revolutions #68: Systems (Interdependence) / Silos (Independence) that is structured around Human-shaped assumptions of Reality. It assumes that human beings thrive when the barriers to real Creativity are minimised and as many people within the system have done the work required to Grow Real.

Designing systems for realness and reality
From Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness

Creative Intelligence

Intelligence that brings in the whole of human beings (intellect, instinct, intuition, imagination, emotion, etc.) whilst also acknowledging Interdependence over the Ego’s illusory Independence. This approach to Creativity ensures that we are more Open to inspiration, acting upon it, and making the world more Real.


An Attitude of Openness that allows us to perform Actions that lead to more Realness in the world. Requires an acceptance of Interdependence over Independence to find inspiration for truly creative acts.


An Attitude of Openness that encourages us to keep digging into The World so that we can build within it, instead of convincing ourselves we’ve found it and trying to tear it down because we have forgotten our connection to it and so Fear it instead.


The destruction of the Ego.


An approach to Communication that focuses on proving the validity of the Truth we think we have already found and showing that anybody who disagrees with it is ‘wrong’. Debate is opposed to Dialogue or Real Communication.


Anything that stops us from being grateful for the way things currently happen to be.  In relation to the Blind Trinity, Desire is our craving to be seen in the light of a certain Self-image that we have constructed and turned over to the Ego in reaction to our own unresolved Shame about our Realness.


A Real approach to Communication that asks us to communicate with ourselves first and foremost so that we can manage the Fragmentary barriers we carry within ourselves to our own Realness and then attempt to see the realness within those we communicate with.


Games that make people feel good about themselves in the short-term by feeding into the Ego.


The notion that opposition is the natural order of things because we believe that the Fragments we use to Perceive Reality are reality itself. This is manifest in an Intellect that thinks in fragmented, Black and White dichotomies, such as good/bad, up/down, me/you, instead of Whole relationships. This helps us make ordered sense of the Chaos of our lives but is part of the Veiled Veil we project over Reality, not reality itself (see also: Concept).


The place where we are most likely to reveal ourselves to ourselves so that we can take new learning into our lives in the form of our Realness. To find the edge, we have to live in such a way that we are able to consciously dive into the gap between Expectation and Result, thus creating a better relationship with Chaos and Uncertainty.


The opposite of Reality and any of the evolved Fragmentary tools that we use to try and convince ourselves that the Illusions about ourselves and The World are true.


A designated moment in an overall Relationship between things (aka a Process). Events only exist in our understanding as the Fragments we project onto processes in order to make Sense of them.


Assumptions about the future. Expectations cause most of the Misery in our lives due to the gap between Expectation and Result bringing a state of discomfort or Frustration when expectation doesn’t land in the right place. The more we Attach to our expectations, the more miserable we will be as the gulf between Illusion and Reality is wider and so we have further to fall. A shortcut to living ‘happier’ lives is teaching ourselves to have Realistic Expectations about ourselves and the world.

Expectation and Result

The gap where Chaos is most likely to enter our lives as our Ideas about Reality meet reality itself. Forcing ourselves to appreciate and work consciously with this gap allows us to learn what we need to know to be able to find our Edge, move through it, and Grow Real as we rid ourselves of our Illusions.


Whatever we are currently Aware of or going through. We have no choice but to go through whatever we are experiencing if we have any hope of making sense and learning from it, so resisting it makes our lives more difficult than they need to be. Just because we are experiencing something doesn’t mean it is Real, but taking a good look at it is the only way to Grow Real in ourselves and The World.


The act of looking more deeply into things which requires the Attitude of Curiosity. We do not need an aim or set Goal for our explorations, just a promise to ourselves to set out and see what we find. We can’t explore the world unless we are Open to it.


In the service of the Ego, fear is anything that stops us from expressing our Realness or moving towards the Edge and anything that might reveal this realness to us. Some fear is Instinctual and has evolved to protect us (like if we see a dangerous animal or something). This kind of instinctual fear is nothing to worry about as it has evolved to help us survive (unless it goes AWOL and merges with the ego to create a constant state of Anxiety).


The feeling of being completely Present that comes from removing the Fragmentary barriers keeping us from the Edge. Examples might be riding a motorbike, climbing a mountain, having sex, or simply dedicating ourselves to the Process living in a Real way day after day.


The Process of constant and inexorable Change that unfolds in Reality as we experience it through Fragmented perceptions and interpretations. Aligning ourselves with flux means that we are less likely to lose our Realness as we attempt to cling to the Veiled Veil.


Anything that blocks our view of the Whole or which acts as an Illusory barrier that prevents us from Flowing with it. We need fragmentation to be able to function in The World but when we Identify with the fragmentation we carry it brings unnecessary Friction into our lives. Examples: opinions, emotions, concepts, expectations, anything withe the end result of breaking things down instead of building something Real.


The state of dissonance, Frustration, or Anxiety that enters our lives when we cling to Fragmentary ideas or beliefs that are not Real. Clinging to these ideas with too much stubbornness means that there is a constant tension between ourselves and Reality as a whole. Only by letting go can we start Flowing again and find a solid foundation on which to build. Some people spend their whole lives living with this friction and are never ‘happy’.


The feeling that occurs when our Expectations are constantly misaligned with the Reality in front of us and we aren’t ready to face it yet because it triggers unresolved Shame.


Something to move towards. Some goals are Real, because they are rooted predominantly in Reality; some goals are Unreal, because they are rooted in the Ego and its Ideals so carry us away from ourselves.


A fancy word for ‘Chaos‘ as we experience it in the gap between Expectation and Result.

Grow Real

To go through the Process of ridding ourselves of our Illusions about who we are and what The World is in Reality. This allows us to build with Inevitable or inescapable limits or to smash through the Self-limiting Beliefs and ideas that hold us back.


The Process by which we unlearn all of the Fragmentary illusions that keep us from ourselves as we are in our Realness. Real Growth is what happens when we face Reality on its own terms so that we can build upon our own. This type of growth is always open to all of us, if we are able to find our Edge, but usually finds us in times of difficulty, as this is when we are most likely to push through Obstacles, uncovering what is Real and what is mere Illusion as we are forced into the gap between Expectation and Result.


The feeling that either ourselves or somebody else is doing something worth fighting for. Real heroism is about moving The World towards more Realness; Unreal heroism is about creating drama so we can keep our Ego in place.


A ‘Rule of Thumb’ that we carry into a situation as a shortcut to making Sense of it based on previous Experience (though not necessarily our own). Heuristics often help us greatly but they are still not necessarily the Reality of the situation before our very eyes.


To live in denial of something, instead of facing it and moving towards making it Real.


The way in which we choose to Communicate or act. Ultimately, we can choose to move in a way that is Real, or a way that is Unreal.


Our True nature. Being out of touch with one’s humanity leads to Frustration and then Misery.

Human-shaped World

A World that has been designed based on Assumptions about human beings that are aligned with Reality, not just our Ideals or Fears about it. Designing a human-shaped world ultimately means that we design Systems that serve us, not systems that we end up serving at the expense of our Humanity. These systems aren’t constrained by our Self-Limiting Beliefs about ourselves but nor are they so Neurotic that they have no foundation in Reality.


Collections of Concepts that trigger a jolt of excitement within us when we make new connections between things. Worthless without some kind of Action (because they only ‘exist’ in the World of Symbols without it).


Things that we want to be True and attempt to move towards. When our ideals are rooted in the Ego and its insecurity we move further away from Reality; when our ideals are rooted in our Realness, we take a foundation of things as they are and build something wonderful upon it.


To think that one is a particular Fragment or collection of fragments instead of just seeing that these fragments are something we have (temporarily).

Identity Politics

What happens when people believe that their opinions about themselves hold more Truth than the Realness of themselves or others.


Any belief that blocks our view of ourselves, others, or Reality because it helps us to keep the Ego in place. The ego is ultimately constructed of illusions in the form of the Veiled Veil and the Fragments it is ‘made’ of.


The erroneous belief that everything is separate or disconnected from everything else. This kind of independence is what happens when the brain’s evolved Fragmentary thinking style is Projected out into The World and treated as being Real. It is the opposite of Interdependence and involves seeing Reality as a series of ‘things’ instead of a series of Relationships.


Whatever currently can’t be avoided about Real human life (death, problems, change, etc.).


The power that we have to Change things about ourselves, The World, or Reality around us. It is important to note that we always have some degree of influence over ourselves or our situations, even if only internally, but we do not have the power of total Creation as Reality creates a certain set of conditions for us to work our influence within. If we think we can ‘create’ everything in our lives, we become Neurotic; if we accept our influence, we can work with what is Inevitable as it unfold in the ‘Chaos‘ of the gap between Expectation and Result. Real Creativity is about having enough influence over ourselves to remain Open.


Any flash of Truth that challenges the Concepts we have been allowing to limit our view of what is true in the Whole.


Any motivation that is rooted in the body and the body alone. Instincts have evolved to protect us, we need to tune into them to feel alive, but they hold back our Growth if we only ever succumb to them. Our happiness is a product of managing this Biological Wiring and the Social Programming we have evolved and been exposed to so that we can live in the World of Relationships.


Our ability to make sense of Conceptual information and create Interpretations of Reality. An amazing blessing when we see it as a tool, or a curse when we allow it to take over our lives by constantly using it to uphold the Ego and its denial of reality.


Your ability to respond to Reality in a Creative way. Often mistaken for ‘memory’ in the form of an ability to remember trivial facts and figures with no relation to real Experience or the way things actually are. Intelligence requires Openness to be Real.


The Reality that everything is connected, even if the apparent distance between ‘things’ is disparate.


Our best possible understanding of something based on what we have Perceived and Conceptualised of its Reality. Unfortunately, even our best interpretations are clouded by the Veiled Veil.


In the service of our Realness, an intention is an itch we can’t get rid of that leads us towards Wholeness in the form of our authentic, or self-actualised, self. In the service of the Ego, intentions are immediate Desires based on the Judgement that we are not living according to the Idealised image of ourselves that we constructed to hide from our own Shame.


The Process of attempting to bring whatever stands before us into the Veiled Veil of Duality by treating our positive/neutral value-based Ideas about it as the Reality of whatever is in question. Ultimately, the Ego is one big judgement but no judgement is Certain and so when we Identify with ego we lose ourselves in our Realness.


Any Awareness that we have about Reality that isn’t purely Conceptual or Idealistic because it is rooted in more than just the Intellect.


Things that we ‘know’ only in Conceptual Interpretation.

Magic Bullet

Any offer of a Panacea that will solve every Problem in the world. Impossible because The World will always just be one big problem.

Make Real

To take a negative of difficult situation or Obstacle and learn something from it that allows us to increase our connection to our own Realness.

Mechanistic System

Any System designed by human beings that treats the majority of the people within it as being insensate cogs in the machine. These systems are Unreal because they are built around a ‘fixed’ view of human beings and force people into moulds that remove their Humanity at the expense of linear Processes results that are Outcome-dependent.


Any Process that allows you to tune into the Present moment and notice what you notice about yourself, The World, and Reality. The ‘classic’ version involves sitting still and breathing in some way, but anything that shows you the Edge of yourself could technically get you in the same state (riding a motorbike, having sex, listening to music, etc.).

Mental Content

The clouds that float by within the inner experience of ourselves and the world (Concepts, emotions, Expectations, whatever).


A state of living in extreme Unreality, thus making us feel bad about our own Realness and The World. Misery is what happens when you allow the Friction you carry to lead to endless Frustration so that you eventually snap.


To carry the erroneous belief that Order precedes Chaos or to Hide from Reality because we find it Painful or believe that reality is a source of our demise, not a furnace for our creation in the form of real Growth. Being neurotic in this way is fundamentally rooted in the ideas that Stasis is Truth and a life on earth without limits is possible, whereas both of these ideas are major sources of Frustration in our lives. Any time we move away from reality and towards Ego/Fragmentation we are trying to live according to Ideas or Concepts disconnected from what is Real; when we do this we are epitomising ‘neurotic’ with the result of stunting our own Growth.


Anything that the attention of your subjective Experience passes over. For example, if you’re looking at a ‘tree’ then it is an object of your experience and you are the Subject.


Anything that seems to get in the way of where we think we want to go but which is actually a foundation for getting to where we really want to be (in the form of our Realness).

Object-Subject Boundary

The Illusory boundary that we place between Objects and Subjects when we are lost in assuming that the Veiled Veil of limited Perception and Knowledge is the way things actually are. In Reality, Objects and Subjects are part of the same Interdependent System and therefore depend on each other. For example, if you are a subject looking at the object of a ‘tree’, then the experience you have depends on where you are in Time, Space, and Causality, as well as the mental Representation your brain shows you over the actual thing-in-itself. That object might exist in some form but not in the way you experience it without ‘you’ being in the equation.

One System + One System = One System

The understanding that if everything is a part of the same System then there is only one Relationship that we Fragment for convenience and survival.


The Attitude of living with as few Fragmentary blocks to our Realness and Reality as possible. More often than not, the things that are holding us back from Real connection to ourselves and by extension the reality around us are Self-limiting Beliefs and ideas that are fragments we have picked up somewhere outside of ourselves. Living with openness allows The World in reality to open to us and engenders Creativity because we’re living beyond our outdated Assumptions about life.


Something that you have, not that you are (as David Bohm said).


Any story that we tell ourselves to explain the Chaos that surrounds us. This doesn’t mean that ‘order’ doesn’t exist, but it does mean that it is usually a Projection of our thoughts out into The World and, if Certain, always a Conceptual Illusion because in a Reality experienced in Flux nothing can remain the same and measurement will only ever be 99.999% accurate at best.


A Judgement of something’s value based only on the results that it gets. For example, if you are chasing a promotion and your Self-image depends on getting it, you have become outcome-dependent.


Appreciating either the value of yourself or something else based on your relationship with its Realness over results. For example, if you are chasing that promotion and don’t get it, you still have a healthy relationship with yourself (because you have found your realness and it’s unshakable).


An Inevitability that shows us where we have room to Grow Real. If we can move to the other side of the pain, Frustration, and discomfort that we find ourselves feeling in either Dialogue or our lives themselves, we can live with less Friction between ourselves and Reality. Pain is a signal, not a command, but many of us choose to always see it as a command to run away from whatever seems to be its source – sometimes, we do need to run away, but often the only way out and into a better life for ourselves is to go through it.


A fancy word for a Magic Bullet. The more Neurotic we are, the more we want there to be a panacea for all our ails and the more disappointment, Frustration, and eventual Misery we set ourselves up for in the long-term.


Behavioural repetitions that we can notice over the course of our lives, especially in our Relationships with others, but also in the way we chase after the things that we think will save us in some way. In general, these patterns are rooted in our unresolved ‘stuff’ from childhood and the shame that makes us run towards Ego over our Realness. If we don’t become aware of these patterns (e.g. falling in love with unavailable people so we don’t have to really commit, chasing easy goals instead of challenging ourselves because we fear failure, etc.) we will repeat them until the day we die and be more likely to die in Misery.


Whatever our Fragmented bodies allow us to sense before we try and Interpret them with Concepts/Knowlegde.

Personal Revolution

The Process of Growing Real by either putting oneself in a process of ridding oneself of one’s Illusions by finding the Edge, or  by being placed in a highly challenging situation that exposes the gap between one’s Ego and Reality in the gap between Expectation and Result. The final lesson of a Personal Revolution is always the same: an acceptance of one’s Realness and a shift to living predominantly from its foundation.


A set of Ideas that we choose to Identify with based on our desired Self-image and the way we want to be seen by others. Personality is distinguished from Character which is the depth of our relationship with Reality – in the form of how prepared we are to face it – not our ideas about it alone.

Point of View

A story that we tell ourselves based on the limited information we have about ourselves, The World, and Reality through the lens of the Veiled Veil. More often than not, this story is edited to make ourselves feel better about ourselves in our Heroism. Though we need points of view to function as human beings, we can brainwash ourselves and limit our growth by clinging to them with Certainty in order to avoid facing ourselves and our Shame.


Any Assumption that we feed into an argument to reach some kind of conclusion.


The sensation of connecting to the foundation of our own Realness, living from the inside out, and being in the moment. Presence is a state of high-level Awareness that allows us to be more responsive to ourselves so that we can better respond to others, The World, and Reality around us.


The Unreal version of pride is a product of being so certain about our own Certainty that we lose touch with Reality and get lost in the Ego. Real ‘pride’ is based in unwavering Self-Acceptance, is Outcome-independent, and keeps us Growing Real. The unreal version prevents us growing real because it keeps us clinging to an addiction to self-sourced ego strokes.

Principle of Charity

The principle of seeking the Truth in what people share with us instead of simply tearing it to pieces based on initial Judgment.


A negative Interpretation of an inevitable Obstacle when, in Reality, the main problem is thinking we have problems by Judging whatever we are going through.


A series of Events that lead to a causal result. Everything that happens is a process, though we often lack the information to understand every step along the way and therefore have to rationalise or even deceive ourselves in order to trick ourselves into feeling we have Closure and that everything makes Sense.


The art of seeing in others or The World around us what we are trying to Hide about ourselves from ourselves in Reality. This is one of the Ego’s defence mechanisms that allows us to keep it in place and prevent ourselves from pushing through the Edge of whatever Pain or Shame we carry in ourselves  so we can Grow Real.


Anything that is as it is in Truth. The Problem is that sometimes the things we think ‘is’ are just the things we show ourselves because of our Fears about Reality. This unfortunate belief is rooted in the Idea that reality is harmful in some way, when actually, the closer we move towards uncovering it, the more solid the foundation on which we build the rest of our lives will be. In relation to human behaviour, ‘Real’ refers to any intention that is rooted in Wholeness over Fragmentation, and therefore reality over Ego.

Real Communication

The way of Communicating in a way that is rooted in a foundation of our Realness and which acknowledges that other people are capable of communicating from their realness in the same way. (See: Dialogue).

Real Human Being

A human being who lives in relation to their nature and the nature of things as they actually are in Reality. This is opposed to a ‘person’ who lives primarily according to the Ideas about themselves, The World, and reality instead of their true experience of themselves without Judgement.

Realistic Expectations

Expectations that prepare us for our own Realness and the Reality that surrounds us. Realistic Expectations help us to align ourselves with Flux over Stasis and prepare us to deal with the positive and negative Change in our lives. Carrying Realistic Expectations also allows us to live with less of the unnecessary Friction that eventually leads to Misery.


The collective Inevitabilities of life as far as we know and experience it as Fragmented beings in a fragmented World: death, change, problems, obstacles, conflict and whatever else.


The greatest understanding of whatever Truth you currently carry about yourself and the most unshakeable foundation for building yourself and your life upon.


Anything that reminds us of the past or our ideas about it in the present.


A connection between things. The universe is one big relationship having a relationship with itself.


Anything that will move a Dialogue towards the Truth. Understanding the difference between what is relevant  within the dialogue, as opposed to our Desires about it, based on the needs of our own Ego is vital to being able to communicate in a Real way.


A version of something that we carry in our heads alone. If we see a ‘tree’, we are seeing our brain’s representation of it, not the ‘tree’ in itself.


Any Process that fundamentally changes our approach to living as Real human beings in a real Human-shaped World. Revolution happens when some kind of Event shows Humanity on a mass scale that the gap between our Interpretations, or Expectations of Reality and reality itself is wider than we ever imagined. Revolution can happen on a personal, social, and universal scale.


Roles are masks that we wear in different Relationships to bring a sense of Control over the Uncertainty of having to deal with other human beings. If we Identify with these roles, we begin to think that we are the mask we have worn to protect ourselves and slowly begin to destroy ourselves by preventing our ability to Grow Real. The roles of others are dependent on the roles that we play and so if we begin to remove the mask, people will often fight us to ensure that we keep it on (so they don’t have to change too).


The way we have organised the Concepts that we carry about ourselves, The World, and Reality into sets of Ideas or mental models that help us explain things and motivate us to behave in Certain way. Breaking these schemas allows us to break the unhealthy, or Unreal, Patterns we have been living out so that we can Grow real.

Self-limiting Beliefs

Any beliefs that keep us from acknowledging our potential in the form of our Realness.


A story that is satisfactory enough not to cause too much dissonance or Frustration between ourselves and Reality.


An honest understanding of where we currently happen to be in relation to where we want to be in the future. This kind of self-acceptance is a foundation on which to keep building our lives without Judgement, because it is rooted in our Realness and Reality. It is not an excuse to stop living our lives, by giving into Stasis, or to rationalise our Shame away instead of facing it as an Illusion.


An idol of ourselves that we place between our Realness and Reality in order to function in The World. If our self-image is built upon Realistic Expectations we will have less Friction in our lives, get more done, and be ‘happier’ in the long-term.


The healthiest possible relationship between our Biological Wiring and the Social Programming that we allow ourselves to be influenced by.


The feeling that we are fundamentally ‘wrong’ in some way, have done something ‘wrong’, or that what we are about to do is ‘wrong’. The more shame we carry about our Realness, most often because of how it was received in our childhood, the more likely we are to run towards the Ego. In Reality, there is no shame, as ‘wrong’ and ‘right’ are value Judgements and Duality does not exist. Healthy ‘shame’, can bring people together by showing us that our intentions move away from Wholeness; unhealthy shame stops human beings from living with healthy boundaries and Growing Real  by locking them in a web of Fragmentation.


Any external idea about an appropriate way of living that we take on as our own without question or looking at in alignment with our own Insight. A major source of Social Programming.

Social Programming

Any Ideas that have taken root from outside ourselves and which block our view of our Realness, instead of leading us towards it.

Sociocultural System

A System that allows individuals to have autonomy etc. but which is limited by seeing human beings as more Intellectual and Interpretational than Creative.


The erroneous Assumption that it is possible for anything to remain the same other than the Whole in itself.


Anything that is able to experience Objects.


Minor parts of our overall Personality that exists because they once helped us to survive in a specific situation, relationship, or environment. Some sub-personalities are long since expired but we keep attempting to breathe life into them and end up bringing Friction into our lives because we have over-identified with them.


The fragmented linguistic, Conceptual, and cognitive content of our mental experience.


Any Relationship between discernible parts and Processes that form other relationships.

‘The World’

Your collective Ideas about the planet and how it operates. The World is unreal because it is a pure Interpretation based in Fragments of the Veiled Veil (nobody can have, be, or understand the whole of it in Reality).


Anything that our brains allow us to perceive within Time, Space, and Causality that we treat as a separate entity to ourselves because we have forgotten or are unaware of the Illusory nature of the Object-Subject Boundary and the Reality of Interdependence.

Time, Space, and Causality

The Fragmented patterns that our fragmented bodies project upon Reality as part of the Veiled Veil we use to make Sense of it.


The idea that Relationships between people can lead to more Realness as they are fundamentally rooted in it.


The only ‘certain’ thing due to living out our lives in the Veiled Veil and the gap between Expectation and Result.


Anything Unreal.


Any intention that causes somebody to move towards Fragmentation or anything that is rooted predominantly in Ego.

Veiled Veil

The combination of limited Perception and limited Knowledge that keeps us from wholes in Reality. Human beings live behind this ‘Veiled Veil’ at all times, because we exist within Fragmented bodies, but we can peek behind it if we blur the Object-subject Boundary. Remembering what we see here allows us to live with more Realness on a day to day basis as it allows us to bring more of the Whole into our lives and have a Real foundation on which to build.


The content of our Communication or our plans for our lives.


The totality of everything in Truth beyond Fragments.

Whole System

A System taken as a whole Relationship instead of numerous Fragmented parts treated as ‘Whole‘. Shifts us into thinking in terms of Interdependence and therefore Reality.

World of Necessity

The World as it is according to biological and physical Inevitability as we Experience it as biological Fragments on a fragmented planet.

World of Relationships

The Reality we live in when we are able to manage our Biological Wiring and Social Programming in order to bridge the World of Necessity and the World of Symbols.


Our reason or Intention for Communicating or the burning desire behind our goals.

World of Symbols

The World as conceptualised in Intellect, language, or Ideals alone. We need Symbols to make sense of Reality and construct our Points of View, but, like Concepts, symbols are only signposts to reality, not reality itself.


Want to grow more real in yourself? Get Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness or get in touch with me about a Reality Check.

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