Everything Happens for a Reason? Exploring Meaning and Chaos.

by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness

Everything has a cause but we don’t always know the reason.

Human beings have an extraordinary ability to impose order onto chaos.

Faced with a universe that is fundamentally indifferent and, at times, unrelentingly chaotic, we cling to patterns and narratives that help us feel safe and in control.

What we often don’t stop to think about, though, is that these narratives are just FRAGMENTS of the truth instead of wholeness of truth itself (because of our limited vantage point as fragmented human beings in fragmented bodies).

This means that a lot of the ‘reasons’ we give things can never be fully true… they’re just a reflection of our own ‘stuff’ and what’s going on inside ourselves.

If the purpose of life is to grow REAL and to keep moving towards WHOLENESS then we can serve ourselves and our growth by assuming that all things have a CAUSE and that this is always wholeness but that we can’t always know this in terms of conceptual ‘reasons’ or narratives… This actually gives us a lot of freedom to let go and get real about things.

The idea that “everything happens for a reason” is one such narrative – a comforting but often (not always) misleading framework that can hold us back from engaging fully with reality and getting where we need to be because we attach to our interpretations of life, rather than life itself.

While this belief might initially offer solace, it’s worth examining the deeper implications:

What if there are no intrinsic ‘reasons’ for the events that unfold in our lives (though always the CAUSE of WHOLENESS)?

What if we can make our lives more meaningful by forgetting about uncovering cosmic intentions – which will always be our own underlying ‘stuff’ projected onto the universe anyway – and focusing on actively creating significance through our actions?

Let’s explore this and see if we can learn anything…

The Illusion of Order

To understand why we’re drawn to the idea of a preordained design for our lives, it’s essential to look at how we confuse human-made order with the natural world.

(This doesn’t mean there’s no higher power or ‘God’ – just that a lot of the time, the ‘reasons’ we attribute to such are just projections of our own unconscious mind onto life itself):

Mistaking Human Constructs for Reality:
Much of the order we experience day-to-day comes from human infrastructures – laws, systems, routines, and technologies that create a sense of stability. These systems, however, are imposed onto the world, not inherent to it. This ordered “World of Symbols” often blinds us to the chaotic “World of Necessity” that lies beneath.
Survival as Adaptation, Not Design:
We often interpret the natural environment as perfectly suited to us, as though it were designed with human life in mind. In reality, we have adapted to fit the environment, not the other way around. Evolution teaches us that survival is a product of adaptation, not preordained purpose. If a species cannot adapt to its environment, it simply doesn’t survive – it’s that simple.

This confusion leads to the illusion that the world and everything in it has been designed around us specifically, but it’s an illusion nonetheless… it’s more that we have been designed for the world (based on our conditioning and obsolete biological wiring etc.), not that the world was designed for us. Yes, the universe operates on causality – where A leads to B, which leads to C – but that doesn’t mean these events unfold with intentional ‘reasons’…just that they unfold in some sort of causal pattern.

Causes vs. Reasons

It’s important to distinguish between causes and reasons if we want to free ourselves from illusion and start living in TRUTH (so we can grow real):

Causes are natural, material phenomena that result from the interplay of forces in the physical universe. Reasons, on the other hand, imply intention, purpose, or design. While every event has a cause, not every event has a reason (though many do but often this is just our best guess or own interpretation).

For example:

A storm floods your home. The cause is a combination of weather systems, geography, and infrastructure.
Searching for a ‘reason’, you might wonder if it’s a punishment for some moral failing or a sign from the universe to move elsewhere.

This leap from causes to reasons is where we lose clarity unless we’re aware of our own projections and the stories we tell ourselves.

It’s a deeply human tendency to want explanations that go beyond the facts, but clinging to the idea of hidden reasons can trap us in passivity and self-blame as well as locks us in old patterns.

What’s true is that when a CAUSE takes place it can squeeze us to release the ‘juice’ of a REASON – this ‘juice’ when we’re squeezed shows us what’s actually going on inside ourselves… So, in the case of the flood above, for example, when we get squeezed and tell ourselves it’s because we’re being punished or want to move then – at some unconscious level – we either have some GUILT we’re not facing or we’re looking for an excuse to get away from where we’ve found ourselves.

In this case, the CAUSE, showed us what we really want… This is why it’s important to know the difference between cause and reason: so we can learn what’s truly going on inside ourselves and make better choices to grow REAL.

The Comfort—and the Trap—of “Everything Happens for a Reason”

Another element of all this is that the belief that everything happens for a reason often arises during times of crisis. When life feels overwhelming, it’s comforting to think that there’s a larger purpose guiding us, even if we can’t see it yet.

However, this mindset can have unintended consequences if we take it so far that we forget about our own capacity to always take ACTION or at least make a CHOICE:

Passivity and Waiting for Signs:
By assuming that events are part of a grand plan and that we have no influence, we risk becoming passive participants in our own lives. We wait for the ‘reason’ behind our suffering to reveal itself, rather than taking proactive steps to change our circumstances or learn from the experience. As they old saying goes, sometimes ‘Shit happens’ – we may never find out why but we can always figure out what we want to do to be a CAUSE of our own future (or, play a role, at least).
Self-Blame and Misinterpretation:
When things go wrong, we may internalise the idea that we’re being punished for some failure or moral shortcoming. This can lead to guilt, shame, and a distorted view of ourselves and the world that just makes underlying emotional ‘stuff’ worse and opens a negative cycle.
Missed Opportunities for Growth:
The search for reasons can distract us from the lessons embedded in our experiences. Instead of asking, “Why did this happen to me?” we might be better served by asking, “What can I learn from this?” Learning these lessons (which are always been offered, regardless of the ‘reason’) is the only way we can really move forward and into deeper REALNESS.

A More Empowering Approach: Learning from Chaos

If the idea of “everything happens for a reason” isn’t as helpful as we might think then what’s the alternative?

Perhaps a more empowering stance is to embrace the chaos of life and see every situation as an opportunity for growth.

Shift from Reasons to Lessons:
Instead of seeking hidden reasons behind life’s challenges, focus on what you can learn. This mindset fosters resilience and curiosity, allowing you to grow even in the face of adversity.
- A failed relationship? Learn about your communication style or attachment patterns.
- A career setback? Use it as a chance to reassess your goals and priorities.
Take Ownership of Your Actions:
Recognise that while you can’t control everything that happens to you, you can control how you respond. Action is the antidote to passivity, and even small steps can help you regain a sense of agency.
- Feeling stuck? Take one small, meaningful action today.
- Unsure of your purpose? Experiment with new activities or interests to uncover what resonates.
Create Your Own Meaning:
If the universe doesn’t come with built-in reasons, that means you’re free to create your own. This isn’t a limitation; it’s an opportunity to craft a life that aligns with your values and aspirations.

The Power of Coherent Choices

One of the most liberating realisations is that your life is shaped by the coherence of your choices:

Coherence simply means alignment with reality – seeing things as they are, not as you wish they were. When your actions are grounded in this clarity, the outcomes you experience are more likely to be positive.

Reality Over Ego:
Let go of the ego’s need to impose its own ‘reasons’ and projections onto the world. Instead, align yourself with the natural flow of events and adapt accordingly.
Responding, Not Reacting:
Coherent choices come from a place of awareness, not reactivity. By pausing to assess the causes behind a situation, you can respond thoughtfully rather than lashing out or retreating.

Finding Meaning Without Reasons

It might feel disorienting at first to let go of the idea that everything happens for a reason. But in doing so, you gain the freedom to shape your own path.

Instead of waiting for the ‘universe’ to reveal its intentions, take action. Instead of attributing your struggles to cosmic punishment, look for the causes you can address and the lessons you can apply. And instead of seeking comfort in the illusion of order, find strength in your ability to navigate chaos with courage and creativity.

Ultimately, whether or not the universe has a designer or inherent purpose is irrelevant. What matters is your ability to thrive within it and to align yourself with the WHOLE. The power to create meaning, take action, and grow lies entirely in your hands and your ability to let go of anything that blocks your access to your own realness (and most of the stories and projections we tell ourselves are just an extension of the opposite of this realness: the ego).

From Chaos to Creation

The next time life feels overwhelming, resist the urge to retreat into passivity or assign mystical reasons to your challenges – sometimes, ‘things’ just happen and we can never know why… this doesn’t disempower you but empowers you to create your own CAUSES. Remember that the universe is chaotic this can be a source of strength, not weakness.

We know for sure that every situation has a cause – even if we don’t know what that is – and every event that takes place in our lives offers an opportunity to learn and/orrespond.

In the end, the only reasons that matter are the ones you choose to live by.

Stay real out there,

*Based on ‘Revolution’ number eleven in Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness

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