Escape the Matrix in 4-Steps: From Projection to Presence

//

This article is about moving from projection to presence to escape the Matrix

YouTube player
This article is based on a transcript from this video on my Youtube Channel.

Welcome! Today, we’re diving into a topic I like to call “Escaping the Matrix” or “Moving from Projection to Presence”—which, in essence, are the same thing. This discussion is inspired by various philosophies, including Carl Jung’s work and Plato’s allegory of the cave, which both explore the idea that perception is projection.

What we often see in the world is, quite frequently, a projection of our own hidden thoughts or unresolved issues. This becomes especially relevant when we’re feeling stuck, blocked, unhappy with life, or constantly triggered by things around us. If that sounds familiar, it’s likely that projection is at play.

A great way to think about projection is with the phrase “it takes one to know one.” If something or someone really annoys you, chances are, you’re seeing a reflection of something within yourself—something disowned or hidden.

If we want to find freedom and escape this Matrix of projections, there are two essential things we need to do:

  1. Drop the projection: Learn to recognise when you’re projecting your own issues onto others or the world around you.

  2. Realign with presence: In the present moment, we can reconnect with our natural drive towards wholeness. This is crucial if we want to feel authentic, process what’s happening inside ourselves, and move towards our real goals and vision for life.

In this article, I’ll walk you through four steps to help you drop projections and realign with presence. So, let’s get started.

Projection was popularised by Carl Jung

What is Projection?

In case you’re unfamiliar with the term, projection was popularised by Carl Jung, who coined it. However, the concept has been around for as long as humans have been reflecting on their experiences—it’s a fundamental part of the human condition.

At its core, projection refers to the idea that we all have disowned parts of ourselves, parts we hide in the shadow self. We push them out of conscious awareness, behind the ego, to avoid facing them directly. Instead of dealing with these hidden aspects, we project them onto the external world. This gives us a sense of distance from the uncomfortable emotions or traits we don’t want to acknowledge. It allows us to maintain the identity we’ve built around our ego, which is often shaped by shame, guilt, trauma, and past experiences.

The problem with this is that it may provide short-term security but ends up damaging our relationship with ourselves, the world, and reality. Reality is always changing, always flowing towards wholeness, while the ego is a fixed conceptual box we put ourselves in.

Projection is a sign that we need to make changes—we need to let go of certain things, integrate unresolved emotions, and release pent-up feelings. If you’re constantly reactive, wound up, or feeling stuck, it’s a safe assumption that projection is at play. The reason it’s useful to assume this is because it gives you the power to explore what’s really going on inside.

Not everything we experience is 100% projection, of course. Sometimes, people or situations are just annoying or challenging in their own right. But even in those cases, assuming there is some projection involved can help raise your awareness and enable personal growth. If you assume there’s a hidden quality within you, it allows you to investigate and improve your relationship with yourself.

We know projection is a real phenomenon because people can react to the exact same situation in vastly different ways. For example, one person might look at a rose and see only its beauty, admiring its petals and vibrant colours. Another person might focus on the thorns, reflecting on pain and danger, seeing only the darker side. It’s the same rose, the same trigger, but it activates completely different responses in each person based on what’s going on inside them.

This is the essence of projection: the world is not the problem; it’s the unresolved parts of ourselves that cause the issues. By dropping projection, we can start to face these internal challenges and, ultimately, live the life we truly want.


If you’re disconnected from who you really are, you become fragmented within yourself

Now, let’s move on. The short version of all this is simple: if you’re disconnected from who you truly are, you become fragmented within yourself, and that inner fragmentation will reflect in your experience of the world. The world will always seem slightly disconnected, as if there’s a gap between you and what you’re experiencing. But this isn’t due to how the world is—it’s because of how you are.

As someone once said, “We don’t see the world as it is, but as we are.” This is another way of talking about projection—perception is projection. What we see is merely a reflection of ourselves. Once you understand this, it becomes much easier to free yourself from many of the threats, annoyances, and small frustrations in life, because you can start to take ownership of them.

The key to taking ownership is to drop the projection, which allows you to return to the natural flow towards wholeness—where you truly belong, and where real life is experienced. When you drop the projection, you drop the barriers, and this allows you to flow and evolve with life, instead of working against it by creating an illusory separation between yourself and the world.

To clarify, the opposite of projection is presence. When we’re present, we’re not trapped in the ego’s box that filters everything. We’re simply in life, allowing our emotions and thoughts to flow as they need to, which means they can process properly. Emotions, after all, are energy in motion. By being present, we stop perceiving the outside world as a threat, because we’re no longer projecting our internal fragmentation onto it. Instead, we use it as a springboard to connect more deeply with wholeness.

If we keep choosing presence, we can get out of our heads and allow our body to release tension and stress. These tensions are held in place when we lock things behind the ego, blocking the natural flow. By choosing presence, we stop holding on and simply exist in the moment.

Lao Tzu is often quoted as saying: “If you’re depressed, you’re living in the past. If you’re anxious, you’re living in the future. If you’re at peace, you’re in the present.” The idea is that when you’re present, you’re not burdened by the past, nor are you fearful of the future. You’re simply real, flowing with life, able to respond rather than react.

This is the problem with projection: it causes you to react, and all reactions are just products of old conditioning. That conditioning is what keeps you trapped in the ego. When you project your ego onto life, you’re always stuck in the Matrix because you’re not present enough to be free, to truly flow with real life.

And that’s why all of this is so important to understand.

How do you drop the projection?

Let’s get into the practical side of things and try to keep it concise. I’ve explained what projection is and how presence is its opposite. By being present, you align yourself both internally and externally with the natural drive toward wholeness. But how do you actually drop projection?

Projection exists because we don’t want to own the feelings inside us. It could be shame, guilt, fear, trauma—or even positive emotions like joy or love. We disown these feelings and send them into the shadow, unwilling to accept them, which means we don’t accept ourselves. Instead, we project them onto others.

The way to drop projection is by letting go of the story that accompanies the feeling. For example, in the rose scenario I mentioned earlier, someone might avoid the rose and tell themselves a story about the thorns, pain, and horror. But that story is driven by an underlying feeling of existential dread. When we focus on the story rather than the feeling, we’re just rearranging the mental furniture—shifting beliefs and concepts—while the core issue remains untouched.

The ego is simply an interpretation of reality, not reality itself. If we step back from that interpretation and allow ourselves to be present, we can feel what we need to feel without blocking it with these conceptual stories. And by doing so, the emotions will move and do what they’re supposed to do—because emotions are energy in motion (e-motion). The natural drive is always toward wholeness, and we allow it by welcoming our feelings instead of resisting them. As the saying goes, “What you resist persists.”

When you focus on the story, which is a defense mechanism of the ego to keep shadow material hidden, you’re resisting. Resistance causes stress, tension, and emotional buildup. However, when you drop the story and focus on the sensations of the feeling itself, you can experience safety instead of perceiving the feeling as a threat. From there, the emotion will begin to dissolve and move naturally.

At the core of this process is the ability to distinguish between interpretation and reality. People often confuse their interpretations with reality itself. But interpretations are always conceptual; they aren’t the real thing. The real thing is the sensation in your body and the emotion you’re feeling. When you focus on the emotion instead of the story, that’s when you can move forward.

Here are four steps to help you drop projection, become present, and move forward as you were naturally designed to do:

1. Slow Down

The first step is to slow down. This helps your nervous system stop perceiving emotions as threats and allows you to feel safe. A big issue is that we often can’t tell the difference between physical danger, like a poisonous spider, and emotional discomfort. When you slow down, you relax and get out of the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight mode). You can do some simple breathing exercises, like 4-7-8 breathing or 4-4 breathing for a couple of rounds, to help yourself feel grounded and safe. The goal here is to remind yourself that it’s safe to feel.

2. Feel the Sensation

Allow yourself to fully experience the sensations without running away. Instead of resisting, simply feel it. Emotions are just energy that needs to move, and when you let go of resistance, the emotion will start to flow naturally.

3. Zoom Out

Take a step back and gain some perspective. Often, when we’re caught up in a projection, we’re stuck in a story our ego has created. By zooming out, we can approach the situation with realness, acceptance, and perhaps even unconditional love. From this higher perspective, you’ll see that you’re limiting yourself with your interpretations. This gives you the security you need to feel without the constraints of ego-driven stories.

4. Maintain a Higher Perspective

Stay connected to this broader, more authentic perspective. From this place of wholeness, see if there’s an intuitive message or prompt about how to move forward in the situation. When you operate from wholeness, you’re not caught up in reactivity, conditioning, or the ego’s traps. Instead, you’re responding from a place of realness, allowing yourself to receive answers from within, which is always available but often obscured by interpretation and projection.


This process is something you can apply whenever negative emotions surface. When you notice yourself caught in hamster-wheel thoughts or blaming others or situations, drop the projection and recognize that it’s already inside you. By allowing the emotion to move naturally, you’ll create the space to return to presence.

Let’s break these steps down a bit more.

Step 1: Slow Down

Slowing down means allowing your nervous system to calm down so you can handle the emotion without reacting in fight or flight mode. Relax, even in the midst of discomfort. Breathe deeply and intentionally. Use techniques like 4-7-8 breathing to feel grounded and remind yourself that it’s safe to feel. One reason we project is that our nervous system sees the feeling as a threat, but it’s not. It’s simply emotionally uncomfortable. When you allow yourself to feel, you expand your sense of self, and the ego, which prefers to stay unchanged, must adapt. Ironically, the ego originally developed to make you feel safe, but by slowing down, you can truly experience safety and address the feeling directly instead of avoiding it.

Step 2: Drop the projection, feel the sensation

The second step, after you’ve created a sense of safety, is to breathe into the feeling itself—without the story attached to it. Often, we hold onto stories that intensify our emotional responses. For example, someone cutting you off in traffic may lead to anger, and your mind might attach the narrative: “That person is such a bad driver! They made me angry!” But this is just a projection—an interpretation of the event. The truth is, the anger was already within you. By dropping the story, you start to see that the emotion (anger) is something you’re carrying regardless of external triggers.

To practice this, close your eyes and breathe slowly, allowing yourself to maintain a parasympathetic state, which keeps you calm. Then, focus on the emotion itself—feel where it manifests in your body. Is it in your stomach? Your chest? Wherever it is, allow yourself to feel it without judgment. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel this way. This step is about peeling away the surface interpretation (the projection) and going deeper into the raw emotion that was there all along. By doing this, you begin to release the emotional energy that has been trapped, rather than continuing to suppress or distort it through mental stories.

Once you feel this emotion fully, it can start to move. It’s important to understand that emotions need to be felt to be released. By staying present with them, without clinging or resisting, you allow them to flow. The key here is stepping away from the interpretations and simply letting the emotion do what it needs to do.

Step 3: Zoom Out to Your Higher Self

After fully feeling the emotion, zoom out. The stories and resistance to emotions are typically created by the ego—the smaller version of yourself. Now, tap into a higher version of yourself, the realness within you that’s connected to wholeness, truth, and unconditional acceptance. This is where you move beyond the ego’s projections and embrace a broader perspective.

By doing this, you’ll begin to understand the situation and your emotions from a higher vantage point. You’ll see that the ego’s interpretation and the projections were not the truth—they were simply a reflection of your internal fragmentation. From this expanded perspective, you’ll recognize that most of the worries, fears, and resistances were unnecessary and only served to keep you stuck.

To access this higher version of yourself, you might connect with a sense of inner wholeness, or some might relate it to concepts like a divine presence—whatever resonates with you. This is the part of you that exists beyond shame, guilt, and trauma, where you find clarity and peace.

Step 4: Get the Message from Your Higher Self

When you’re in this elevated state, ask yourself: “What does this higher version of me have to say to the ego version struggling with the projection?” The message will likely be one of reassurance: “There’s nothing to worry about,” “You are worthy,” or “You are more than these feelings.” Whatever it is, it will remind you of your true nature and your ability to accept yourself fully.

This message serves as a guide for the next steps in your life. Once the emotions have moved on, and the projection has been dropped, you’ll find that you are more aligned with your natural drive towards wholeness. This alignment allows you to take inspired action—action that is free from the blocks of old conditioning and fear.

Final Thoughts: Moving from Projection to Realness

By following this four-step process—slowing down, feeling the emotion, zooming out, and receiving the message from your higher self—you’ll start to see that many of life’s challenges are simply projections of unresolved parts of yourself. The key to realness and presence is to feel, not fear, your emotions. Don’t get attached to them—just observe them so they can pass.

Through acceptance—of yourself, of the world, and of reality—you’ll find that the barriers to living a real, present life begin to dissolve. Projection is always a denial of some part of yourself, and the only way to heal is through acceptance. If this process resonated with you and you want to dive deeper, you can book a free call with me at Olianderson.co.uk. Most people I work with see transformational results. So, if you’re ready to break free from projections and live a real life, let’s talk. ]

Stay real, stay present, and keep flowing. Peace.


A REAL conversation can change your life...

Book a free 'virtual coffee' with me below to talk about anything you've read on this site and how to move forward in life in a real way.

Creative Status Podcast

If you're interested in growing REAL, creativity, and living a life that you really want to be living then check out the latest episode of Creative Status - a podcast about deconstructing ego, integrating the shadow, and learning to trust life.


7-Day Personality Transplant System Shock (for REALNESS & Life Purpose)


Download EGO/SHADOW/TRUST - a free guide to transformation that will walk you through the vital stages of Awareness, Acceptance, and Action with practical strategies to implement right away.

Join the 7-Day Bare Ass Minimum (BAM) Challenge and start to implement foundational health habits and a powerful life vision only a week from now.

A REAL conversation can change your life...

Book a free 'virtual coffee' with me below to talk about anything you've read on this site and how to move forward in life in a real way.

Hi, I'm Oli Anderson - a Transformational Coach for REALNESS and author who helps people to tap into their REALNESS by increasing Awareness of their real values and intentions, to Accept themselves and reality, and to take inspired ACTION that will change their lives forever and help them find purpose. Click here to read my story about how I died, lost it all, and then found reality.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Previous Story

Align Your Nervous System with God: Finding Inner Peace

Latest from Life Philosophy

Chat Now
a REAL conversation can change your life
olianderson.co.uk
Oh, hi there.

How can I help you grow real today?

(This opens an actual WhatsApp chat - it's not a bot!)