by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness

YouTube player — **This article is based on a transcript from this video on my Youtube Channel.**

Cultivating wholeness from the inside-out.

Hello, and welcome to this article. Today, we’re going to explore something that might sound a bit intense: aligning your nervous system with God. While that may sound like a weighty concept, that’s exactly what we’ll be discussing—aligning your nervous system with God. I’ve made some notes, and I’ll go through them here.

This article is called Aligning Your Nervous System with God. If you’re not comfortable with the word “God,” you can replace it with terms like “truth,” “wholeness,” or even “chaos”—anything that refers to forces beyond your control, power, or understanding. “God” serves as a catch-all term for that. The real question is whether this force is sentient, with feelings and consciousness, or simply chaotic. From our perspective here, it doesn’t matter too much. What’s crucial is aligning yourself with this force if you want to live a real, authentic life. The best way to do that is at the level of your nervous system, and that’s what we’ll delve into.

On the simplest level, aligning your nervous system means accepting certain unchangeable and inevitable truths about yourself and your life. If you don’t, you’ll invite friction into your life. That friction, if resisted, will evolve into frustration. Keep resisting, and that frustration will inevitably turn into misery.

If you become trapped in this cycle of friction, frustration, and misery due to some mental, emotional, or physical block that prevents you from accepting the truth, you’ll begin to experience various physical, mental, and emotional symptoms. These might include anxiety, depression, or other physical ailments. However, those symptoms are not the core issue—they’re merely signals of a deeper problem.

At its root, the issue is a disconnection from your true self, accompanied by a dysregulated nervous system that reinforces this disconnection. This can lead to creating an identity based on a dysfunctional, dysregulated state rather than on the actual truth of who you are. It’s easy to become entangled in a negative spiral where your inner experience and outer life continue to disrupt the balance of your nervous system. This can create a bleak reality, as you project your own sense of fragmentation and disconnection onto the world, further deepening the spiral.

Ultimately, what you need to do is balance your nervous system so that it functions as it’s meant to—free from reactions to perceived or misperceived threats, both internal and external. These threats often stem from inner fragmentation caused by shame, guilt, trauma, and your response to those experiences.

So, we’re going to dive into all of this. I’ll try to keep this article as concise as possible, but it’s likely to be a bit lengthy. Let’s get started.

If you have a regulated, healthy nervous system, then you feel safety

So, I keep mentioning being dysregulated, experiencing inner fragmentation, and perceiving threats. Let’s quickly discuss what it’s like to have a regulated nervous system before we dive into the basics of how the nervous system works.

If you have a regulated, healthy nervous system, you feel a sense of safety within yourself. Primarily, you feel safe with your own emotions, thoughts, and self-image. You trust yourself to handle whatever challenges arise—the actions you need to take, the words you need to say. Feeling safe is the key—safety is foundational.

Alongside trusting yourself, you also feel a sense of safety in life. Even though we cannot control everything—we’re not omnipotent or omniscient, and we don’t know exactly what’s around the corner or what will happen next—we can trust that life will continue to provide what we need. We can also trust ourselves to respond appropriately to whatever life brings, whether it’s favourable or challenging.

Of course, things can and do go wrong, but with a regulated nervous system, we trust that whatever happens ultimately leads us to deeper wholeness. That’s the direction life moves towards—a greater connection to ourselves, the world, and reality.

So, having a regulated nervous system, a healthy nervous system, and a healthy relationship with ourselves is ultimately about feeling safe. That’s the natural state when we’re living authentically, trusting ourselves and trusting life. But if something goes wrong, we lose that sense of safety. Inside, and consequently outside in the world, we begin to perceive threats everywhere. This lack of inner safety disrupts our nervous system, which in turn distorts our experience of life.

I wanted to clarify this because understanding that it’s all about returning to that place of safety—so you can accept life and build with it—will give you a better understanding of the direction I’m guiding you towards as we continue through this article.

An overview of the nervous system

Let’s quickly go over the basics of the nervous system. If you’re unfamiliar, don’t worry—I’ll give you a quick overview. Consider it a 101 class, if you like. The nervous system is, of course, within your body, and it’s made up of two main parts: the central nervous system and the autonomic nervous system.

The central nervous system runs from your brain down your spine and acts as a control centre. It helps you carry out voluntary actions—essentially, the things you consciously think about doing. For example, when I move my arm, my central nervous system receives the signal that I want to do that, and then—wham, bam, thank you, ma’am—my fingers start moving. That’s the central nervous system in a nutshell: it handles voluntary movement.

Then, there’s the autonomic nervous system, which is responsible for all the involuntary actions our bodies perform. Right now, as I’m talking, I’m still breathing, my respiratory system is doing its job, my heart is beating, and my blood is circulating—thanks to the autonomic nervous system. It keeps all these automatic processes running smoothly.

The autonomic nervous system itself has two components that serve slightly different functions: the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system.

The sympathetic nervous system is probably the one you’ve heard about. It’s responsible for the “fight, flight, or freeze” response. When we perceive a threat—whether in the world or within ourselves—the sympathetic nervous system gears us up to deal with it. It releases adrenaline, increases our breathing rate, and speeds up our heart rate, among other things, all to prepare us for action. This response is incredibly helpful when there is an actual danger, as it allows us to react swiftly to the situation.

However, many things in our modern lives can seem like threats even when they aren’t. As a result, we often find ourselves stuck in a sympathetic state more than is necessary. We’ll explore that more in a moment.

The other part of the autonomic nervous system is the parasympathetic nervous system, also known as the “rest and digest” system. This comes into play when we’ve assessed that there’s no threat, allowing us to slow down and relax. It supports our bodies in healing, processing emotions, releasing tension, and integrating experiences. There’s a natural drive towards wholeness when we’re in this state, and it’s essential for recovery and well-being.

Ultimately, our goal should be to live in a way where both parts of the autonomic nervous system activate when they’re truly needed. If a real threat arises, the sympathetic nervous system kicks in and helps us handle it—no problem. But when there’s no threat, we should be able to shift back into a parasympathetic state, slowing down, relaxing, and staying present.

Both parts of the nervous system are amazing, each with its own vital role. They need to work in balance, activating only when required. The issue many of us face is that our nervous systems become dysregulated due to how we perceive or resist certain experiences. Understanding this is powerful, and if you grasp it, it can significantly improve your life.

Sympathetic dominance affects your relationship with yourself, the world, and reality

Sympathetic dominance is a major issue we don’t often address. It means living in a constant state where the sympathetic nervous system is always active, keeping you on high alert. This means your body is regularly releasing adrenaline, making your breathing quick and shallow, which affects your mental state. You become hyper-vigilant, seeing potential threats everywhere, even when they’re not there. This can stem from an internal emotional struggle or just the stress of modern life—the constant news, financial pressures, and societal tensions that keep us feeling like we’re always on edge, like a crisis is imminent.

When you’re stuck in this state, it impacts every aspect of your life, from how you relate to yourself to how you experience the world around you. Physically, it can elevate your heart rate and blood pressure, mess with your digestion, and leave you feeling constantly fatigued. Mentally, it manifests as anxiety or depression—either because you’re wired into a fight-or-flight mode or you’re so overwhelmed that you shut down and isolate. Emotionally, it makes it hard to feel grounded or connected, creating a sense of constant unease. And behaviorally, it can lead to coping mechanisms like addictions, toxic relationships, or getting caught up in unnecessary drama, all in an effort to escape that underlying discomfort.

A lot of people mistake the symptoms—like anxiety or digestive issues—for isolated problems, rather than understanding they’re rooted in a dysregulated nervous system. It’s like rearranging the furniture on a sinking ship if you don’t address what’s really going on underneath. The real issue often lies in your relationship with yourself—how connected you are to your true self. It’s about moving beyond the surface level and addressing the underlying causes of that nervous system imbalance.

This disconnection from our true selves can lead to what I call the “shadow dance.” It’s a kind of internal battle that results from being ashamed of who we really are. Often, it starts in childhood, where we begin to disown parts of ourselves because we feel they aren’t acceptable. Trauma or shame amplify this, making us create a version of ourselves that denies these real parts, which I refer to as the ego. The problem is, those disowned parts don’t go away; they linger in the background, creating an internal struggle between who we are and who we’re trying to be.

This internal struggle puts us into a constant state of tension, where we see those disowned parts of ourselves as threats. Accepting and integrating them would require us to dismantle parts of the ego we’ve built, which can feel terrifying. So, we stay in that fearful, defensive mode, and that keeps us stuck in sympathetic dominance.

Living in this way doesn’t just affect your internal state; it impacts your relationships, too. When you’re stuck in a heightened state of alertness, people around you pick up on that energy. It can make them feel like you’re a threat, too, which makes it even harder to build authentic connections. Essentially, sympathetic dominance makes life feel like a series of battles—internally and externally—where everything and everyone can feel like a threat.

The key to breaking out of this is accepting and integrating those parts of yourself that you’ve rejected, which can help to regulate your nervous system. When you do that, you can shift from seeing the world as a threatening place to one where you feel safe and connected. It’s about realigning with your true self and moving from a state of fear to a state of trust—trusting yourself and trusting life. That’s when you can finally calm down, breathe deeply, and live from a place of balance, where the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems work together in harmony.

We have a dysregulated nervous system because we don’t accept life

If we can welcome our experiences, we can learn to accept them. And with acceptance comes the ability to truly address what we’re facing. When we fall into sympathetic dominance—a state where our nervous system is out of balance—it’s often because we’re resisting life rather than accepting it. That’s why I’ve titled this piece “Aligning Your Nervous System with God.” In the end, whether you call it God, truth, or simply reality, all we can do is accept it. When we do, we start to find balance.

This is similar to what happens when people find God or experience a spiritual rebirth, like in Christianity. They repent—not that I’ve done this myself, though maybe I should. But in repentance, they confront everything they’ve hidden away—their sins, mistakes, and buried emotions. By facing these things, they lose their power over us. As we embrace them, they dissolve, and we move forward.

John Bradshaw’s famous saying is that emotions are “energy in motion.” When we allow them to move, they don’t become a problem. But when we resist, seeing them as threats, we create more threats—projecting them outward into the world. That’s where the trouble starts. I’m not necessarily saying we all need to repent, though perhaps we do. What we truly need is to face what needs facing, to accept our experiences as lessons rather than threats, learn from them, and move on.

This acceptance is key to balancing the nervous system because it helps us trust whatever comes our way, guiding us toward greater wholeness. And wholeness is always our destination. It requires embracing whatever life throws our way. Acceptance creates balance; resistance creates problems.

When we keep choosing resistance—choosing the ego over reality—we open ourselves up to a negative spiral. It starts with our emotional resistance, which fuels the ego. The ego then misinterprets threats both inside and outside of us, pushing the nervous system further out of balance. This triggers even more resistance and worsens the imbalance, spiraling endlessly. Some people live their entire lives like this, trapped in “quiet desperation,” until something breaks—their body, their mind, or they have a profound realization (a dark night of the soul).

To break free from this cycle and live an authentic life, we must embrace acceptance. But acceptance isn’t just a mindset—there are practical steps we can take. Let me share three of these practices, which you’ve likely heard before, but which can make a real difference if you bring them into your daily life.

The key theme here is seeing the mind and body as one interconnected system. Anxiety isn’t separate from our physical state; depression isn’t separate from avoided emotions. Everything is interconnected. If we don’t grasp this, we’ll try to address problems in isolation rather than understanding the deeper relationship between ourselves and life itself. A real connection to life means flowing, not being stuck in the rigidity of the ego or trying to protect a narrow identity. Life will always ask us to adapt, to reconfigure.

Life is constantly shifting—moment to moment—depending on our inner state, our goals, and the world around us. The goal is to get things moving again. When we don’t move and see threats everywhere, that’s when nervous system issues arise, leaving us disconnected from our own true nature and the larger reality, whether you call it truth or God.

So, here are the three practices I recommend for everyone. Not everyone will do them, but if you do, you’ll start getting things moving at every level. Once you start moving, balance comes naturally. There’s a natural drive toward wholeness that’s always unfolding. We don’t have to force it—just like with emotions, when they’re allowed to move, they sort themselves out. It’s the resistance to movement that causes problems.

Yoga or Physical Exercise: I’m a big advocate of yoga—I’m even a trained yoga teacher. Yoga is fantastic for getting things moving. The Body Keeps the Score, a key book on trauma and somatic healing, highlights yoga as one of the best ways to process unresolved emotions and trauma. When we engage with our bodies, we break free from the mental “box” that limits us. We discover that emotions and memories are held in the body, and it feels good to release them. Through asana practice, we become more embodied, grounded in the present moment, and start to dissolve the mental cage we’ve built.
Breathwork: Proper breathing can help slow down and activate the parasympathetic nervous system, allowing for relaxation and recovery. A simple technique I often share is the 4-7-8 breath: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8, all through the nose. Nose breathing has numerous benefits if you look into it. Try this for a few minutes daily, and you’ll start to notice a difference in how you feel.
Meditation: This might seem obvious, but meditation is crucial for bringing
awareness to what’s going on inside us. When we sit still and observe, we create space between ourselves and our thoughts or emotions. That space allows us to process what we’ve been avoiding, rather than getting caught up in it. Meditation isn’t about silencing the mind or escaping from our feelings; it’s about being present with whatever comes up, accepting it without judgment, and letting it pass through.

In that stillness, we begin to see how our mind-body system functions as one. Meditation teaches us that thoughts, sensations, and emotions come and go like waves—they’re not permanent. By observing this flow, we can learn not to attach to every little thought or reaction. We recognize that we’re not our thoughts or feelings, and this realization can be deeply freeing. It reduces the anxiety of trying to control everything and helps our nervous system find balance naturally.

Integrating these three practices—yoga, breathwork, and meditation—can shift your entire relationship with yourself and the world. These tools are about moving away from resistance and toward acceptance, helping you reconnect with a sense of flow. When you’re flowing, your nervous system is aligned, and you’re more attuned to life’s natural rhythms. And as I mentioned earlier, this is about trusting the process—trusting that as you let go, you’re being led toward a deeper sense of wholeness.

Life will always throw challenges your way. The goal isn’t to eliminate discomfort but to learn how to welcome it, feel it, and then let it move through you. When we do this, we stop being so caught up in the illusion of control and start living more authentically. It’s about recognizing that resistance is what keeps us stuck and that acceptance is the key to freedom.

When we choose acceptance, we break free from the endless cycle of resistance and find a deeper connection to life itself—whether we call it God, truth, or simply our real self. And in doing so, we align our nervous system with something much greater than ourselves.

Everything ultimately comes down to the breath

Ultimately, everything comes down to the breath. If you’re breathing in a calm and balanced way, your nervous system will respond by becoming more regulated, and your relationship with yourself will improve. You can’t think like a chaotic person if you’re breathing slowly. This is why breathwork is so vital.

And meditation? Just 5 to 10 minutes a day can significantly enhance your awareness of the connections between your emotional, mental, and physical states. The purpose of meditation is to raise awareness, allowing you to recognize how these aspects interact as a unified system. So whether it’s yoga, any form of physical exercise, meditation, or pranayama breathwork—these practices are truly transformative. They help regulate your nervous system, enabling you to move through life authentically rather than frantically reacting to imagined threats, both within and outside yourself.

In summary, if you focus on balancing your nervous system through self-care—physically, mentally, and emotionally—you’ll learn to trust yourself and life. This process benefits every single one of us on this planet. By improving our relationship with our nervous system, we stop filtering experiences through the ego and connect with reality. And when we align with reality, life becomes extraordinary, guiding us toward deeper wholeness.

When we’re stuck in sympathetic dominance, perceiving threats everywhere, we position ourselves against life. This can lead to feeling like a victim, which is an illusion, or adopting a hero mentality where we fight against everything, which is still resistance. True balance comes from acceptance. In that place of acceptance, we can build something authentic and meaningful.

So, to recap, practices like yoga, pranayama, breathwork, and meditation are excellent starting points. If you want to dive deeper into this journey, I’m here to help you explore what your real life should look like. I can assist you in taking actionable steps and keeping you accountable along the way. If you’re interested, visit my website at olianderson.co.uk/talk.

Thank you for engaging with this article. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out anytime. Until then, stay real out there. Peace to you, and thank you once again!

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