boundaries

If You’re Scared to Say the Wrong Thing, You’ll Never Say the Right Thing.

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Growing real is the first step; expressing something real is the second.

How you choose to express you REALNESS is up to you:

-You can express it through your CREATIVE WORK.

-You can express it through the CHOICES you make about how to live a real life in an unreal world.

-You can express it through you BOUNDARIES and what you choose to say “No” to because you know your worth and so you live according to the holy mantra:

“GIMME SOMETHING REAL OR GTFO” (see Shadow Life – the second greatest book of all time).

What’s clear is that the more REAL you become, the more potency and power there will be behind your WORDS and ACTIONS and what they have to SAY to the world.

The reason for that is because – when you come from the REAL PLACE – your words and actions are beautifully ROOTED (in the truth) and so they can’t help but express something with a similar degree of force or potency.

A stumbling block that many people reach on this journey (of DEFRAGMENTING themelves and becomeing WHOLE again) is that they do the ‘inner work’ required to face themselves and start cultivating self-acceptance but that self-acceptance is still CONDITIONAL in that it is only expressed internally and not EXTERNALLY.

This doesn’t mean that you need to OVERSHARE every little thought, feeling, or vulnerability that floats across the debris of your stream of consciousness but it does mean that eventually – when the REAL, inner you meets the unreal, external world – you have a CHOICE to make.

Sometimes, for the sake of keeping the ‘peace’ in the short-term we decide to hide ourselves and what’s really going on long-term…

Sometimes, that’s fine because not every little detail of what we’re experiencing is interesting or relevant to the world (unless we’re SELF-OBSESSED which is just EGO).

Other times, we need to make the call and get over our fear of ROCKING THE BOAT by sharing or expressing who we really are.

There’s no point hiding something REAL because it will always come out in the end – you might as well CHOOSE your moment.

The only ‘right’ thing is the REAL one and if you fear saying or showing it to the world you’ll always feel like you’re UNREAL.

Unleash it.

I can help you help yourself grow real.


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This is the Sign You’ve Been Waiting For to Walk Away from the BS Thing that Keeps Holding You Back.

Every so often, I like to remind people that a super power we all have is to say “NO”.

When you say “No” to something UNREAL then it frees you up to say “Yes” to the real stuff – your true values, your true intentions, your true purpose, and most importantly your TRUE SELF.

The problem for a lot of us is that we make a lot of the decisions about our lives and what we want to do with them based on an UNREAL IMAGE of ourselves:

-We don’t believe in ourselves so we CHOOSE jobs, relationships, or ‘friendships’ that aren’t healthy or satisfying.

-We don’t believe in the world so we think that we just have to follow our SOCIAL CONDITIONING and do what we’re TOLD.

-We don’t believe in reality so we don’t acknowledge that we can GROW REAL through a lot of our limitations (and when we can’t we can learn to ACCEPT and be more CREATIVE with these limitations).

When you make choices about your life from the UNREAL side of who you are (i.e. the EGO which is designed as a response to the Unholy Trinity of shame, guilt, and/or trauma and serves as a barrier to keep your SHADOW at bay – see Shadow Life: Freedom from Bs in an Unreal World) then what you get from life is equally UNREAL.

It’s pretty simple:

Unreal goes in -> Unreal comes out

Real goes in -> Real comes out

If you’re lucky enough to have something ‘bad’ happen or if you step up and do the WORK then you can start to go through the process of becoming aware of how the world you’ve CHOSEN is UNREAL:

Asleep -> Awareness -> Acceptance -> Action

If you stay ASLEEP you will feel the restless call of the void as your shadow calls to you from beneath the surface.

If you become AWARE you’ll start to feel frustrated at what you’ve CHOSEN for yourself.

If you start to ACCEPT you’ll understand why you made those choices and FORGIVE yourself.

If you accept you can start taking ACTION and the first step is to set the BOUNDARY by saying “NO” to the unreal stuff that doesn’t serve you.

Like anything, it’s a PROCESS – you might not just up and leave but you can CHECKOUT MENTALLY.

When you’ve done that the next step is to work on bringing the REAL STUFF and to keep walking.

No dramas, no stress, no malice.


 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

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