Overcoming Procrastination: From Shame to Action via Trust

by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness

How to Overcome Shame, Stop Procrastinating, and Move from Talk to Real Action

You’ve probably encountered those people who talk the talk but never walk the walk – they’re the ones full of ideas, plans, and promises but often too hesitant, scared, or distracted to follow through and so they get lost in procrastination.

You might even be one of these people yourself?

They talk about what they’ll do, what they could do, and sometimes even what others are doing, but when it comes to taking REAL action in their own lives, they freeze and never get results because their tendency to procrastinate just causes them to distract themselves and waste time.

What happened to these procrastinators to make them like this? What’s the difference between those who take action and those who stay stuck in the cycle of talk and indecision? Why do people procrastinate and what can be done about it?

At the end of the day – as with many things in life – it comes down to one crucial factor: their relationship with themselves and how unreal or REAL this relationship happens to be.

The central truth of this difference can be boiled down to a simple yet pretty simple statement:

“The only difference between those who do and those who talk about doing it but never can is their relationship with themselves.”
-Trust: A Manual in Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace

The key to unlocking real action and getting over procrastination lies in cultivating a trusting relationship with ourselves and, by extension, with life itself:

This is the foundation of building real momentum, which requires self-trust and a willingness to take a leap of faith when needed (usually, to get started). It also involves the understanding that trust is an ongoing process, strengthened through actions and the EVIDENCE we gather along the way.

In this article, we’ll explore how trust – both in ourselves and in life – is the lynchpin to moving from mere words to meaningful, transformative action.

We’ll examine why shame is the biggest barrier to trust, and how taking real action can dissolve this shame and give you evidence of your own realness (the opposite of a shame-driven version of yourself because shame is just the denial of the truth about who you really are).

Lastly, we’ll end with practical steps for integrating trust into your daily life so you can stop procrastinating and finally make that leap from talk to action.

Let’s dive in:

Procrastination is often a sign that you don't trust yourself and life.

The Essence of Trust: Doing Your Best and Letting Go of the Rest

At its core, trust is about recognising what is within our control and what is not – it’s about doing our best (trusting ourselves) and letting go of the rest (trusting life).

When we embrace this way of being – this REAL way of being – we can begin to trust ourselves and life in equal measure. This allows us to stop second-guessing, overthinking, and trying to force things that are outside our control and to just ride the reality waves instead.

To trust ourselves is to acknowledge that we are responsible for our actions and that the choices we make come from a place of integrity; it’s about handling what we can handle and taking actions that are ours to take whilst also knowing that we can usually handle whatever life throws at us (which is why we’ve made it as far as we already have in life).

This is where many people falter:

They may believe that they have an idea about what needs to be done, but they don’t know they can do it or that their efforts will matter. This lack of knowing just creates a feeling of being overwhelmed by the weight of expectation, uncertainty, and fear. The reason they lack this knowing is usually because they’re being driven by SHAME and not their realness.

Trusting life, on the other hand, means letting go of the need to control everything because we know that we’re not omnipotent or omniscient human beings (which is a good thing as it allows us to be humble which makes it easier to keep flowing with life instead of forcing it and causing problems for ourselves):

It’s about releasing the illusion of certainty and allowing life to unfold on its own terms – it’s not about waiting for things to ‘magically’ happen but rather about taking action when we can, and then stepping back to allow the next steps to reveal themselves.

This approach fosters a sense of flow – a rhythm of action and inaction, of effort and surrender; it’s this balance that allows us to move forward without pushing against the natural current of life so we can get actual results from life.

Why Shame Stops Us from Trusting Ourselves and Causes Procrastination

If you’ve ever found yourself paralysed by fear, self-doubt, or hesitation, or ‘simply’ just procrastinating, then you’re not alone.

The main reason people don’t take real action and procrastinate is that they’re struggling with an underlying sense of shame. Shame is a pervasive feeling that tells us we’re not ‘enough’- not good enough, not worthy enough, not capable enough. It distorts our perception of ourselves and our potential, making it difficult to trust that we can handle the challenges that lie ahead.

In my view, shame is the most common problem in the world and helps to explain so much of the craziness in our world (because shame always leads to ego and a Void that can never be filled by anything but the truth shame disconnects us from in the first place).

When shame dominates our internal landscape, it affects everything:

We second-guess our decisions, procrastinate, and delay taking meaningful action; we can’t move forward because we’re too consumed by the fear of failing, of not measuring up, or of being exposed for who we think we are – flawed, imperfect, and unworthy.

This mindset creates a vicious cycle where we talk about what we want to do but never take action because we’re too afraid of what will happen if we do. We’re afraid because shame stops us from trusting ourselves and trusting life.

There’s an important paradox that comes into play here: Real action dissolves shame.

Taking action, even in the face of fear, starts to challenge the unreal beliefs we have about ourselves because of the underlying shame and shifts the focus from our inner critic to our inner creator.

When we take REAL action, we start to gather evidence that we are capable of so much more than what our UNREAL beliefs once told us – we start to prove to ourselves that we can handle what comes our way and this builds the trust we need to keep moving forward and trust life by extension.

Trust as a Process: How Faith Turns Into Real Evidence

Trust is not something we magically acquire overnight: it’s a process – one that requires continual effort, evidence, and faith.

At first, this faith may feel like a leap into the unknown because, initially – if we’ve been unreal with ourselves for a while (because of shame) – it’s belief that, even though we can’t see the full picture, our efforts will eventually bear fruit. This initial leap of faith can feel daunting because we have no tangible proof of success (yet) but as we take steps and engage with the world, we begin to gather evidence that supports both our realness and our trust.

Over time, faith turns into trust as we see the results of our actions – these results may not always be grand, but they are real, and they contribute to our growing confidence and the dismantling of the unreal beliefs that are an extension of unresolved shame.

This is why the most successful people aren’t necessarily the ones who have never failed; they are the ones who take action consistently, learn from their mistakes, and keep going despite setbacks. Their trust in themselves and life is rooted in the evidence they’ve collected through real action and the dissolution over time of shame (instead of trying to hide from it and being driven by it).

Trusting yourself will kill your tendency to procrastinate

The Power of Real Action: Moving from Talking and Procrastination to Doing and Flowing

There’s a distinct difference between those who talk about what they want to do (procrastinate) and those who actually do it:

Talkers often have a grand vision of what they’ll accomplish but they lack the ability to trust themselves enough to take the necessary steps and so end up either procrastinating or doing nothing. They get bogged down in overthinking, second-guessing, and the fear of failure. This leaves them stuck in the cycle of inaction.

On the other hand, doers have a fundamental relationship with themselves that empowers them to take action; they’ve developed a trust in their own capabilities – even if they don’t know exactly how everything will turn out.

They focus on doing their best (trusting themselves) in the moment and let go of the rest (trusting life) because they understand that not everything is within their control, but they trust that by taking action, they will be able to adapt, learn, and course-correct as needed (as action always leads to feedback from the only place that really counts: REALITY).

The key performance indicator for someone who takes real action is their ability to trust – to act with courage, knowing that failure is part of the process and doesn’t diminish their worth. They trust that even when things don’t go as planned, they are still moving in the right direction and that their self-worth is not contingent on success or outcomes but on their ability to show up and try.

Practical Steps for Building Trust and Taking Real Action instead of Being ‘Stuck’ in Procrastination

If you’ve found yourself stuck in the cycle of talk, indecision, and endless procrastination or inaction, it’s time to shift your relationship with yourself and to grow a little more real.

The following steps will help you build the trust necessary to move from talking about your dreams to living them:

Identify and Dissolve Shame: The first step in breaking free from inaction is recognising the shame that holds you back – What are the fears, doubts, and beliefs that make you feel unworthy or incapable? Once you identify them, challenge them. Remind yourself that you are not defined by your mistakes or flaws; your worth is inherent because what’s real is always real and you are capable of growth.
Commit to Small, Real Actions: Start small. Trust is built through consistent, real actions, over time – no matter how small they may seem. Pick one area of your life where you want to make progress and commit to taking one small step each day. This will start to shift your mindset from passivity to activity and you will start working the PROCESS of making your dreams a reality.
Let Go of Perfectionism: Perfectionism is a form of fear disguised as a desire for excellence. It’s often rooted in shame as a way of compensating for feelings of ‘worthlessness’. Allow yourself to take imperfect action and to remember that key is not to be perfect but to be REAL and consistent in your efforts.
Embrace the Process, Not Just the Outcome: Trust is a process, not a destination (which is why trust is so important: it aligns us with the way that life ‘works’ as life is a process too). Focus on the actions you can take today, not on the outcome, and understand that the journey is as important as the result. ‘Failure’ is simply a step toward ‘success’ if you keep learning on the way there.
Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection: Acknowledge every small win along the way – each step forward is proof that you can trust yourself. Celebrating progress, no matter how small, reinforces your self-worth and encourages further action which opens up a positive spiral.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned and treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend who is struggling. This helps dissolve shame and creates a nurturing environment for growth. Judging yourself will just slow you down, not speed anything up.

Conclusion

Moving from talk to real action and overcoming procrastination requires a shift in your relationship with yourself:

TRUST is the key to overcoming the fears, doubts, and shame that hold you back – by taking small, real actions and embracing the process of growth, you can begin to build the trust that empowers you to move forward.

Stay real out there,

If you want to go even deeper into TRUST then check out the book: Trust: A Manual for Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace

Trust: A Manual for Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace is a book about learning to return to your realness by cultivating trust in yourself and trust in life.

It contains practical exercises and dedicated meditations (Transformational Bridges) to take you DEEP in knowing yourself and life.

This book will answer many of the questions you have growing REAL and flowing towards wholeness. It covers everything from shame to addiction to the unconscious mind and synchronicity (and way more).

Download EGO/SHADOW/TRUST - a free guide to transformation that will walk you through the vital stages of Awareness, Acceptance, and Action with practical strategies to implement right away.