by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness
The Truth About Synchronicity & Living A REAL Life
You’re walking down the street thinking of someone you haven’t spoken to in years and then – at pretty much that very second – they call you on the phone.
You start seeing 11:11 everywhere for a week which starts to give you the heebie-jeebies.
You’re talking about an obscure book that you think nobody else has read and then somebody mentions it the next day.
Weird? Maybe.
Meaningful? Quite possibly.
But is it synchronicity?
That’s what we’re going to explore in this article:
What synchronicity actually is, why most of us misunderstand it, and how to return to the kind of realness that allows it to genuinely show up in our lives without getting lost in our own egos.
This article is not just about definitions and technical ‘stuff’ – instead, it’s about cutting through the fluff, exposing the difference between real synchronicity and false prophecy, and giving you some practical tools to deepen your connection with the wholeness of life.
Let’s dig a little deeper:
Synchronicity: What We’ll Cover in this Article
- The Truth About Synchronicity & Living A REAL Life
- First off: What is Synchronicity?
- 1. The Conscious Level: Manufactured Meaning
- 2. The Unconscious Level: Emotional Projection
- 3. The Universal Conscious Level: Real Synchronicity
- Why Most ‘Signs’ Are False Prophecy
- The Void vs. the Wave
- The Truth About Trust and Synchronicity
- So… How Do I Actually Align With Real Synchronicity?
- Synchronicity Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need a ‘Sign’ – You Need to Be Real
First off: What is Synchronicity?
The term synchronicity was popularised by Carl Jung to describe coincidences that seem too against the astronomical odds of standard cause-and-effect to be just random and meaningless.
But in the way the word is often thrown around online these day – referring to angel numbers, cosmic signs, and anything else the YouTube rabbit holes can lead you to – most of what we call “synchronicity” is actually something else.
To understand what’s real and what’s not, let’s break synchronicity down into three levels, each tied to the state of your inner world:
1. The Conscious Level: Manufactured Meaning
This is the level where people start seeing angel numbers, repetitive symbols, or other ‘signs’ because they’re looking for them.
In psychological terms, this is your Reticular Activating System (RAS) – the part of the brain responsible for seeking patterns and directing attention -doing its job:
Essentially what happens in this case is that you’re focused on something and so your brain filters reality to show you more of it. A classic example is buying a red car and suddenly seeing red cars everywhere.
That’s not fate – it’s focus.
But at a deeper level, what’s happening here is the Shadow Dance between your Ego and the parts of yourself you haven’t integrated yet (the Shadow Self).
In this case, you want to believe that life is guiding you, but you don’t fully trust it yet and so you outsource that trust to ‘signs’.
What this essentially means is that you’re seeking constant reassurance because you’re double-minded: one part of you says, “I trust life” while the other is stuck in F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real).
In truth, these ‘signs’ aren’t guidance from the universe – they’re reflections of your emotional need to believe.
To make this even more clear is the fact that most people never act on the ‘signs’ they see anyway – they just keep looking for more ‘signs’ because deep down we don’t actually trust what they’re saying (because we don’t believe in ourselves yet).
What you need to take away from reading this is that you get what you focus on and so if you keep looking for ‘signs’ then – because of the Reticular Activating System – that’s what you’ll see.
2. The Unconscious Level: Emotional Projection
This one goes deeper:
Sometimes what we call a “synchronicity” isn’t consciously chosen like in the first category but it still isn’t truly universal guidance. Instead, it’s your unresolved emotional ‘stuff’ being projected onto the world around you (because of the Shadow Dance between the ego and the shadow).
For example:
Imagine that someone’s cat dies and so they start seeing cats everywhere and think their dead pet is sending messages from beyond.
Maybe.
Or maybe they just haven’t grieved yet and can’t let go so their emotional longing projects meaning onto external events in order to keep the connection between the mourner and their deceased cat alive.
This is where the unconscious guides perception:
In these cases, it’s not “the universe speaking” to you but it is your inner world trying to get your attention so you can integrate and keep growing.
As Carl Jung himself once said:
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
In short, this level of synchronicity is a mirror – not of truth but of the emotions we’re not yet ready to feel.
By seeing them outside of ourselves, we can keep them alive while still staying distanced.
It’s clever but it keeps us stuck if we treat it as something ‘more’ than it actually is.
This article is based on some of the information in the ‘Synchronicity’ chapter of ‘Trust: A Manual in Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace‘ – check it out if you’re ready to go way deeper.
3. The Universal Conscious Level: Real Synchronicity
Now we’re getting to actual synchronicity:
At this level, synchronicity is not something you chase, manifest, or interpret – it just happens.
It’s flow, not force and it’s what happens when you’ve aligned your conscious mind, your unconscious emotions, and the universal truth of your life path so that some bigger can break through.
You don’t need tarot cards, psychics, or astrology charts to get her – in fact, relying on them is usually a sign that you’re still stuck in the earlier levels and seeking answers from because you don’t yet trust yourself and life.
The key point is that real synchronicity shows up when you’re not looking for it.
You’re simply living in truth – whole, grounded, moving forward – and, suddenly, without asking or needing reassurance, life reflects back your alignment.
Not as a test. Not as a hint. But as a clear signal that you’re exactly where you need to be.
Here, synchronicity isn’t chosen – it chooses you.
(This is one reason humility is so important when it comes to growing real).
Why Most ‘Signs’ Are False Prophecy
This might sting a little but if you’re constantly seeking signs, it’s probably because you’re not trusting life and – when you don’t trust life – you’ll interpret everything through the lens of that doubt whether you’re aware of it or not.
You’ll end up projecting your needs and fears onto the external world and calling the result a ‘sign’ but it’s just you, talking to yourself in symbols, because you’re too scared to listen directly.
The ancient text The Shepherd of Hermas (written ~180 AD) saw this happening even back then:
“The spirit that is consulted and that answers according to the desires of the people consulting it is earthly and fickle… it does not speak unless it is consulted.”
Translation:
Real guidance doesn’t come because you ask – it comes from Wholeness and the rest is just emotional projection and wishful thinking.
The Void vs. the Wave
When you live in doubt, fear, or disconnection, you’re in what I call The Void – a fragmented state where the Ego and Shadow dance in confusion, with the ego always searching for something to latch onto to keep up its illusions (which prevent you from growing real).
This is why it often distracts us with the quest for ‘signs’ or things that cause our emotions to stagnate and prevent us from healing (because we need the ego more when we’re unhealed and driven by the Unholy Trinity of shame, guilt, and/or trauma).
Real synchronicity only shows up when you’re living in the Godwave – the flow of Universal Consciousness, where you’ve dropped the unnecessary tension of holding onto the ego and its performances and just started being who you are in your realness.
That’s when the synchronicities start to flow: not from outside but from the alignment of everything inside connecting to the truth about what’s ‘out there’.
The Truth About Trust and Synchronicity
You can’t force synchronicity but you can prepare for it.
How? By walking your real path and making choices that bring your mind, body, and emotions into alignment.
This allows you to clear out the cognitive and emotional fog so you don’t need to interpret random license plates or clock numbers as signs about what to do with your life
You can’t ‘manifest’ a real synchronicity but you can make signs happen by shifting your focus on them (for example, if you’re looking for angel numbers like 11, 22, 33, 44, and 55 etc. then you stand 5 chances every hour to see one if that’s where your Reticular Activating System is pointed).
With real synchronicities, you can only receive (not achieve) and that only happens when you’re actually ready which really just means you’re living in wholeness and letting go of your false sense of control.
So… How Do I Actually Align With Real Synchronicity?
Here are some practical steps to help you move from the Void to the Godwave and allow real synchronicity to emerge naturally in your life:
1. Clean Your Mirror (Awareness)
Stop looking for signs and start looking at what you’re really feeling:
Every ‘sign’ that feels forced or overly personal is probably a mirror of unresolved emotional ‘stuff’.
Try journalling honestly next time this happens and ask yourself: What do I want this to mean?
Dig underneath your answer to this question because in the earlier stages (of the three above) ‘synchronicity’ is really just showing us what we believe deep down but aren’t ready to accept yet.
2. Feel What’s Real (Acceptance)
The only way to stop projecting your pain onto the world is to actually feel it and so that grief, fear, or shame/guilt/trauma won’t go away until you face it.
Breathwork, somatic release, coaching — whatever works for you, use it. This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about clearing the channel so things can flow in the direction they need to move (without emotional distortion and ego resistance).
3. Walk the Path Anyway (Action)
Even when you don’t feel ready, take steps toward the life you know is real for you:
Not the fantasy, not the escape, but the real life you know you could (and ‘should’) be living.
When your actions align with truth – even clumsily – you start to walk on a real path and that’s when synchronicity knocks on your door.
4. Trust Without Needing Reassurance
This is the hardest one because it means that you have to act without guarantees.
If you keep looking for signs before you make a move, then it means you’re stuck in doubt and need to shake things up for yourself.
Real trust is action-based and so when you trust enough to walk the path without signs, that’s when the signs show up – not to get you on the path but to show you that you’re on the path.
Synchronicity Final Thoughts: You Don’t Need a ‘Sign’ – You Need to Be Real
Synchronicity isn’t a party trick from the universe.
Nor is it a daily affirmation from your spirit guide or validation for your latest spiritual bypass.
What it actually is is the echo of realness.
When you stop forcing, interpreting, or outsourcing your truth and just live it you won’t need to look for synchronicity. It’ll find you naturally.
Until then, ask yourself:
Are you looking for a sign because you don’t trust?
Or are you trusting so much that a sign becomes unnecessary?
Either way, the journey’s the same:
Return to realness and life meet you there.
Stay real out there,
P.S. If you’re ready to work on improving your life and taking real action without any of the BS then book a free coaching session with me and get started today.
Trust: A Manual for Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace is a book about learning to return to your realness by cultivating trust in yourself and trust in life.
It contains practical exercises and dedicated meditations (Transformational Bridges) to take you DEEP in knowing yourself and life.
This book will answer many of the questions you have growing REAL and flowing towards wholeness. It covers everything from shame to addiction to the unconscious mind and synchronicity (and way more).
Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness is a book designed to help you look at your life from the inside-out so that you can stop holding yourself back and go get what you really want.
It contains 166 practical ‘Revolutions’ for awareness and over 8,000 Self-Guidance Questions for you to uncover new insight about yourself, the world, and reality that you can translate into action and start building your real life on the realest possible foundation.
Shadow Life is an exploration of the human shadow and the hidden side of our personalities. It looks at the masks we wear, where these masks come from, and how we can take them off.
The book explores how we can better manage our relationships with shame, guilt, and trauma in order to remove the Mask that the world has asked us to wear (and that we forgot we were wearing) so we can live an authentic life with less drama, chaos, or BS whilst we’re still around.
The Flow Builder Journal has everything you need to make the next 21-weeks of your life a turning point.
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