by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness
Death is the Doorway to Real Life
Take a moment to put your hand out in front of you. Really look at it. Think about moving your fingers and notice how effortlessly they obey your mind. Now, consider this: one day, that hand will cease to move. The mind directing it – the ‘you’ you think you are – will one day dissolve into…something.
Whether you’re buried in the ground or turned to ash, your existence in this form – as this version of ‘You’ – will end. This is a fact.
It’s an uncomfortable thought for many, but it’s also the most profoundly real thing about life:
The ancient proverb puts it succinctly: Life is a game, and all the pieces end up in the same box. That includes you. As you sit here reading, the clock is ticking but, rather than filling you with dread, this truth has the potential to liberate you completely.
To truly live, you must accept the inevitablity of death.
Fear Not Death – Fear Not Living
If death is the ‘worst’ thing that can happen to you, then fearing it only amplifies its power.
On the other hand, when you make peace with the inevitability of death – by working on ACCEPTANCE – everything else in life either becomes bearable or inconsequential. In fact, accepting death’s imminence is one of the most empowering steps you can take toward living a meaningful and REAL life.
For many, death is something to avoid thinking about and, in many ways, this is totally understandable – it’s swept under the rug, hidden behind distractions, or cloaked in denial because it’s such an uncomfortable truth about life.
But what if, instead of running from it, you turned toward it? What if, instead of fearing death, you used it as fuel to propel you forward with the time that you have left?
By contemplating the finite nature of your existence, you begin to see just how precious life is:
Every fleeting moment becomes a gift; each second is a miracle – an intersection of time, space, and causality that will never be repeated. The fact that death is coming, could come at any time, but that we never know when until it happens is what gives life its significance and makes it so precious. It’s fragile and beautiful.
Without death, life would be endless, and with endlessness comes a lack of urgency, meaning, or purpose. It is precisely because our time here is limited that it matters so much.
Death as the Doorway to Realness
Far from being a grim conclusion, death is a doorway – a portal into the deepest truth of your existence. If you fear it, you are, in a sense, already dead because you end up hiding from life and identifying as a version of yourself that’s unreal.
Fear paralyses, but acceptance awakens; death connects you to your realness because it strips away everything that doesn’t matter. It’s one of the ‘quickest’ ways to learn to discern the real from the unreal.
When you come to terms with the reality of death, life becomes instantly more meaningful. You are no longer wasting time on trivialities or trying to shield yourself from discomfort. Instead, you focus on what truly matters.
Whether you believe that life has intrinsic meaning or that meaning is something you create, death reinforces the idea that meaning is possible. By facing death squarely, you free yourself to live authentically, to take risks, and to seek purpose.
Conversely, running from the inevitability of death leads to a safe but empty existence. You become trapped in the illusion of security, missing out on the richness of real life until one you stop and look around you and ‘life’ has passed you by.
Life is Fragile and that’s a Good Thing
Regardless of your spiritual or philosophical beliefs, the fragility of life is undeniable. Whether you view death as a final end or a transition into another state of being, the reality is the same: your time here is finite.
Even those who believe in an afterlife can benefit from acknowledging the temporary nature of this life:
Recognising impermanence fosters gratitude, presence, and purpose. It encourages you to live fully in the here and now.
If you believe in a higher power, remember this: even God helps those who help themselves. Why would God – or fate, or the universe – bother to do for you what you can do for yourself? Take the time you’ve been given and use it to make the most of yourself and your life and life will be more likely to support you on the way there (because you’re not hiding behind your unreal perceptions but because you’re facing life in truth head-on).
If you don’t believe in God, embrace the chaos of existence – whether it’s divine or random, the world operates according to forces beyond your understanding (which is really what we’re talking about when we talk about ‘chaos’). Accept this and move forward anyway. Chaos, too, can be a guiding principle, because out of that chaos always comes the answers we seek.
Death as Motivation
Fear of death, in all its forms – physical, emotional, or even egoic – is the number one cause of human misery. But this fear can be transformed into a powerful motivator.
You are hurtling toward death. That’s not a morbid statement; it’s a call to action. Your body will age. Your mind will lose its sharpness – this is inevitable. What’s not inevitable is what you do with the time and energy you have before that happens.
Instead of allowing fear to paralyse you, let it push you toward REALNESS. Use the knowledge of your impermanence to take risks, pursue your passions, and embrace the full spectrum of life.
When you truly accept death, you are no longer afraid of failure or rejection – after all, what’s the worst that can happen? The same thing that’s going to happen anyway…this realisation frees you to live boldly and authentically.
Real Life Happens Now
Life is not something that happens later, after you’ve achieved your goals or resolved your fears. Nor is it something to postpone until you’re ‘ready’. REAL life is happening right now.
When you live in denial of death, you also deny life. You get caught up in the illusions of fear, pride, and desire of the ego, which keep you from experiencing the fullness and flow of truth.
Real life is not about avoiding discomfort or seeking constant pleasure – it’s about embracing the highs and lows, the joy and the pain, the beauty and the fragility. It’s about moving with the inevitable instead of resisting it.
Make the Most of the Gift
If you take only one thing from this article, let it be this: death is not your enemy. It is one of your greatest teachers. It reminds you that time is your most precious asset and that wasting it is the greatest tragedy of all.
Use your time here to make the most of your relationship with yourself and life; seek realness in all that you do. Let go of the fear of death, and you will find a life worth living.
Take risks. Love deeply. Act boldly. Death is coming – but it’s not here yet.
Until it arrives, you have the power to create, to grow real, and to make your life a gift to yourself and to the world.
In the end, life and death are not opposites but partners in the same dance; to live fully is to embrace both, knowing that one gives meaning to the other.
So, put your hand out again. Look at it. Move your fingers. This moment is yours.
Don’t waste it.
Stay real out there,
*Based on ‘Revolution’ number nine in Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness
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