Build Flow: The Power of Moving with Life

by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness

The only constant in life is change but we can use it to build flow and grow REAL.

Nothing is static in human experience. Everything flows.

At first glance, this truth may seem unsettling. After all, so much of our lives are spent seeking stability – a steady job, a permanent home, fixed relationships, a firm sense of self…but the fact is that the world, and everything in it, is in a constant state of flux (even if reality itself is WHOLE and therefore remains absolute in truth).

From the mightiest mountains to the smallest cells in your body, everything is in motion: change isn’t just inevitable; it’s the very fabric of existence.

Resisting this truth doesn’t preserve stability – it creates suffering:

When we cling to the illusion of stasis, we find ourselves stuck, forcing life to fit a shape it simply cannot hold but – when we embrace flux – we open ourselves to the flow of life, discovering not only freedom but also the potential for growth, transformation, and REAL living.

The Fragility of Permanence

Take a moment to look around you:

The walls of the room you’re sitting in may seem solid, immovable, unchanging. Yet, over time, they’ll crumble – the bricks will erode, the paint will peel, and what seems permanent now will eventually be dust. The same is true for the people in your life: they’re constantly evolving towards wholeness – mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Even the grandest structures of the Earth – towering mountains, vast forests, endless oceans – are slowly shifting and changing with the passage of time. It’s just the way it goes so we might as well go with it instead of trying to cling to static ideas and interpretations about things that we picked up somewhere in the past.

When we look at the world around us at face value, caught up in our minds and emotions, things can appear to be permanent or lasting… after all, our lives are but a blink in the vast expanse of time.

But permanence is an illusion. Nothing in the phenomenal world remains fixed.

This realisation can feel uncomfortable because we’re wired to crave certainty and in many ways our identity (ego) depends on it. We want to know who we are, where we’re going, and what tomorrow will bring. But treating life as though it’s static – clinging to the notion that things should remain as they are – sets us up for conflict. It forces us into a battle with reality – one we’re destined to lose.

The Problem with Stasis

Why do we cling to stasis? Because it feels safe and comfortable. The ego – the mental construct we identify with as “Me” – craves predictability and consistency; it builds a self-image based on fixed roles, beliefs, and patterns:

“I am this kind of person.” “I believe in these ideas.” “My life should look like this.”

These narratives give us a sense of control, a comforting illusion that we understand the world and our place in it…they also allow us to resist and distort our underlying emotional ‘stuff’ and the shame, guilt, and/or trauma that makes us want to avoid reality and choose ego in the first place.

But reality doesn’t care about our narratives:

It flows, shifts, and transforms, regardless of our attempts to hold it still and – when we cling to stasis – we create tension.

Think of it like trying to stop the flow of a mighty river; you can dam it, block it, or try to divert its course, but the water will eventually find a way to flow.

Similarly, when we resist the natural flux of life, we create blockages – internally and externally. These blockages manifest as frustration, anxiety, and a sense of being stuck. The longer we resist, the more ‘stuck’ we get, and the more likely we are to become miserable and depressed.

When we force life to fit a static mould, we cut ourselves off from its natural rhythms – instead of growing and adapting, we stagnate; instead of flowing with the current, we exhaust ourselves swimming upstream.

If we want to find our REAL life and the energy that comes with it, then our best strategy is to just LET GO.

The Freedom of Flux

So what if we let go of the illusion of stasis and embraced the fluidity of life?

To do this, we must first recognise the flux in ourselves…

You are not the same person you were a year ago – or even yesterday. Every experience, every conversation, every fleeting moment leaves its mark. You are a process, not a product. A journey, not a destination.

This is a liberating truth and will always lead to REALNESS (because that’s the only place things can lead to). When you embrace your fluidity, you free yourself from the need to cling to outdated roles, beliefs, or self-images. You realise that who you are today doesn’t have to define who you’ll be tomorrow. You’re allowed to change your mind, to evolve, and GROW REAL.

Shedding the Skin of Stasis

To truly flow with life, you must be willing to shed your skin. This means letting go of what no longer serves you because you have learned that it’s UNREAL – whether it’s an old belief, a stagnant relationship, or a self-image you’ve outgrown.

Letting go can be difficult. The ego clings to familiarity – even when it causes suffering – but holding on only keeps you stuck. Think of a snake that refuses to shed its skin. It becomes trapped, unable to grow, suffocated by its own resistance to change.

The same is true for us. When we refuse to let go, we stifle our growth. But when we embrace flux, we create space for new possibilities. We allow ourselves to be reshaped by life, to learn, to adapt, to become.

The Art of Building Flow

Living in alignment with flux requires a shift in mindset – here are some principles to guide you:

Recognise the Illusion of Stasis
Understand that nothing is truly permanent in our human experience (only the truth itself which we are constantly moving towards a deeper understanding of) The sooner you accept this, the less you’ll suffer when things inevitably change and you have to let go of the unreal and move towards the real.
Observe Without Clinging
Practice observing life and experience – your thoughts, emotions, circumstances – without attaching to them. When you see something as a passing wave rather than a fixed reality, you can engage with it more freely. Always remember that experience is just experience – it only becomes a problem when you cling to it (or your ideas about it).
Be Willing to Adapt
Like water flowing around rocks, learn to adapt to life’s changes. Flexibility is not weakness; it’s a sign of strength and resilience. It takes strength to let go but the more you let go, the stronger you get.
Let Go with Grace
Whether it’s a role, a relationship, or an identity, recognise when it’s time to let go. Holding on too tightly only creates tension and this tension creates friction in your life. On a long enough timeline firction turns to frustration and frustration leads to misery. Happiness is often found in letting go and moving with life as it moves through us.
Embrace Growth
Literally each and every phase of your life offers an opportunity to grow. Whether you’re the novice or the teacher, the confident or the uncertain, lean into the lessons life is offering you. This allows you to keep: 1) Uncovering the Truth, 2) Living the Truth – and, the more you do that, the more REAL life will get.

The Dance of Masks

Throughout your life, you’ll wear many masks. Today, you might be the student, absorbing knowledge and experience. Tomorrow, you might step into the role of teacher, sharing what you’ve learned. One day, you might feel certain and secure; the next, you might feel lost and unsure.

These shifts aren’t failures – they’re part of the dance of life. Each mask serves a purpose for a time, but none of them defines you. When you cling to a mask, you limit yourself. But when you wear it lightly, knowing you can change it when the time comes, you free yourself to fully inhabit the present moment.

Stasis vs. Flow: The Choice We Face

When we cling to stasis, we FORCE life and nothing forced can ever be real:

We try to control outcomes, fit ourselves into predefined roles, and resist the natural ebb-and-flow of existence. This leads to frustration, exhaustion, and a sense of being stuck in the Void because we end up being disconnected from who we really are and what life really is.

But when we embrace flux, we FLOW:

We align ourselves with the rhythms of life, moving with its currents rather than against them. This doesn’t mean we’re passive. On the contrary, flowing with life requires AWARENESS, the courage to ACCEPT life, and a willingness to engage with change by taking ACTION.

(Awareness, Acceptance, and Action – it works every time! Book a call if you’re interested in coaching).

Embracing the Fullness of Life

Flux is not something to fear – it’s something to celebrate. It’s the source of growth, transformation, and possibility. When you accept the fluid nature of life, you free yourself from the need to cling, to control, to resist.

You stop fighting the river and start swimming with it – you discover that life, in all its unpredictability and impermanence is beautiful and you realise that by flowing with it, you become more REAL- not fixed or rigid, but authentic, alive, and fully present.

In this state, you’re no longer stuck – in fact, it’s impossible to be stuck. You’re no longer forcing life; you’re growing, adapting, and experiencing all that life has to offer. You’re moving with the natural flow of your own existence towards wholeness and embracing its fluidity with grace and acceptance.

That’s what makes you REAL.

Stay real out there,

*Based on ‘Revolution’ number twelve in Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness

Trust: A Manual for Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace is a book about learning to return to your realness by cultivating trust in yourself and trust in life.

It contains practical exercises and dedicated meditations (Transformational Bridges) to take you DEEP in knowing yourself and life.

This book will answer many of the questions you have growing REAL and flowing towards wholeness. It covers everything from shame to addiction to the unconscious mind and synchronicity (and way more).

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