Excuses are a Short-Term Solution to a Long-Term Problem: Unreality.

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The REAL ONES don’t need excuses.

An excuse is really just a reality deflection device that we use when:

1) We don’t want to accept some sort of feedback from life and GROW through it.

2) We don’t want to accept some truth or RESPONSIBILITY about ourselves and face its consequences.

The thing about excuses is that people who make them are only FOOLING THEMSELVES.

In the short-term, it stops them from having to face the unresolved SHAME that the situation they’re making excuses about is triggering.

In the long-term, it only perpetuates and DEEPENS the hold that this shame has over them.

If you can’t remember, it goes like this:

1. Shame sends people into hiding because they get TRICKED into believing there’s something inherently ‘wrong’ with them.

2. They hide behind the mask of the ego and send certain ‘unacceptable’ parts of themselves down into the SHADOW TERRITORY.

3. When something happens that exposes the GAP between the unreality (ego) and the reality (the truth and the ‘hidden’ parts down in the shadow territory) then things get WEIRD.

Excuses are what happens when somebody is DESPERATE to avoid the truth about themselves and to defend all of the UNREAL ideas that stpp them accepting who they truly are.

The TRUTH is that in reality you don’t NEED excuses because when you’re being REAL you only have acceptance.

Why’s that important?

Because excuses are just the ego’s (futile) attempt to use unreality to defend unreality.

In other words, excuses are completely redundant – an attempt to uphold illusions with illusions to avoid short-term discomfort of EMBRACING and then DISSOLVING the shame that makes us want to hide in the first place.

Any time you find yourself or somebody caught up in an endless parade of:

“Yeah, but…”

“If only…”

“Cudda, wudda, shudda…”

Etc.

Then you can bet your bottom dollar it’s a form of RESISTANCE (to reality).

The REAL ONES don’t need excuses – they either ACCEPT the choices they made, EMBRACE the truth, or they OWN the screw up and take the lessons on board.

Step beyond JUDGEMENT (which is powerless without shame) and accept the truth:

WHAT’S REAL IS ALWAYS REAL.

My coaching can help you stop making excuses and push through to do something real.

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When You Can Handle Your Own Disappointment and the Disapproval of Others You Can Do Anything.

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Life Philosophy/Psychology

The quality of your life is about how REAL you let it be.

How real you let your life be is about how BLOCKED or UNBLOCKED you let yourself be based on your ASSUMPTIONS about yourself, the world, and reality itself.

The interesting thing is that – besides the physcial laws of this ‘ere planet we’ve found ourselves on – 99% of ‘blocks’ we perceive are ILLUSORY and ‘exist’ in our hearts and minds alone.

The blocks in our HEARTS exist because we’ve allowed ourselves to be DRIVEN by our unresolved emotional ‘stuff’ (shame, guilt, trauma, etc.) and instead of resolving it by FEELING it and allowing it to teach us what we need to learn to push through the next level of our IDENTITY we just kinda…FREEZE.

The blocks in our MIND exist BECAUSE of this unresolved ‘stuff’ – when we don’t want to face certain TRUTHS about who we are and what we’ve been through, we deem certain feelings and ideas as ‘UNACCEPTABLE’ and then shove them deep down in the SHADOWS of ourselves by keeping ourselves in a CONCEPTUAL MENTAL MATRIX that is designed to stop us facing certain TRUTHS (so we can hide the SHADOW and keep our EGO where it is).

Part of the CURE for this sickness is to start removing ourselves from the JUDGEMENT that locks us into this matrix by understanding how these BLOCKS are kept in place with our INTERNAL and EXTERNAL relationships to ourselves and the world

Internally – we start to FEAR our disappointment. Normally, in the form of ‘failure’, comparison to other imaginary spectres, or UNREAL standards and ‘shoulds’ that we created because of our shadow stuff.

Externally – we start to fear the DISAPPROVAL of others based on what we have JUDGED to be ‘unacceptable’ about us and shoved down into the SHADOWS (projection).

In genral, these two things – our own disappoinment in ourselves and the disapproval of others – BLOCK us from taking action and growing REAL in the world.

The way we deal with this is to COMMIT to UNCONDITIONAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE which means that we embrace who we are and keep LEARNING no matter what.

This is the way to stay REAL because if you accept yourself NO MATTER WHAT then nothing can shake you from internally or externally.

ARISE REAL ONE.

My coaching can help you reach your goals and grow real.

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Refuse to Feel ‘Guilty’ for Growin Real.

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Coaching/Life Philosophy/Relationships/Shadow Life

The only people who don’t want you to grow real are people that are UNREAL.

This is because being REAL is about unblocking ourselves from the matrix of our own BS – such as self-limiting beliefs, unreal expectations of ourselves and others, emotionally-distored perspectives, attachments to opinions blah blah – so that we can simply MOVE and grow through our own edge and go deeper into a relationship with the TRUTH.

Unreal people have FRAGMENTED and divided themselves within themselves and so they have attached to all this BS and even gone so far as to think that they ARE the BS.

When they see somebody doing the INNER WORK to flip the script and put their WHOLENESS out into the world – instead of allowing the world to suppress them and to EXTINGUISH the torch of the human spirit – a couple of things happen:

1. They start to lash out because the REAL QUALITIES that are being expressed in the REAL ONE trigger their ‘Shadow Stuff‘ and all of the real qualities they’re trying to hide from themselves for the sake of their EGOs start calling to them from beneath the surface of themselves.

2. They will try and TEST the REAL ONE to see if they’re as real as they seem to think they are… This is weird when it first starts happening but it’s a good sign as it means the unreal have seen your realness and can’t quite believe it.

These ‘tests’ will be about trying to SHAKE you in some way – just believe in your REALNESS and refuse to waver (there’s nothing to ‘worry’ about anyway as all they can give you is UNREALITY).

3. They will try and make you feel GUILTY and to force you into certain ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving in the world (based on ROLES they want you to play so they can keep their unreality’s hold over them).

Here, they will tell you what you ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ think/feel/do based – usually – on how it’s making them ‘feel’ (normally because they’re playing the VICTIM and trying to make you and them believe that somebody else is responsible for their emotional ‘stuff’).

You need to remember that all of this is just the WORLD trying to suck you back into its unreality.

Guilt is a useless emotion but reality is FOREVER.

Be unshakeable.

I can help you reach your goals and grow real.

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“I Don’t Like It/ It’s Not Nice / It Hurts Therefore It’s Not True” – Your Ego

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Coaching/Life Philosophy/Psychology

“The truth will set you free (but first it will piss you off or make you miserable).”
–Personal Revolutions: ASCIR

We’re all walking around trying to live our lives with a REALITY DISTORTION device in our heads.

More than just distorting our reality, this device wraps itself around our SOULS like a parasitic vine and makes us think that we ARE whatever it shows us.

It’s kinda screwed up.

For many of us, we decided to start using this device and buying into what it shows us because we’ve become convinced that the thing we want the most is the thing we most need to avoid.

What is this magical ‘thing’ that we all crave?

It’s called the TRUTH and it’s with you any time you’re ready to quit the act and get REAL.

The problem is that most people have ‘stuff’ from the past that has sent them into HIDING.

When we feel the need to HIDE – because of our shame, guilt, and/or trauma or because of the BLIND TRINITY of fear, pride, and UNCHECKED desire – then we start to think that the COMFORT ZONE we’ve built to keep hiding within and DISTORTING reality from behind is the limits of ourselves and the world.

We’re not to ‘blame’ for finding ourselves in this state – more often than not, we keep ourselves imprisoned within that comfort zone because we have forgotten how to TRUST and BELIEVE in ourselves because something happened somewhere along the line that made us FORGET the truth about ourselves.

The problem is that everything we really want comes from breaking free of the cage and learning to STRETCH ourselves.

Only if we stretch can we allow the TRUTH back in and start growing REAL again.

Of course, when you’re stuck in your own prison like this the ‘guard’ that keeps you there is the one you CREATED for yourself: the EGO.

To stop any new TRUTH coming into your life it will help you LIE to yourself to keep your illusions in place:

“I don’t like it…so it can’t be true”

“It’s not ‘nice’…so it can’t be true”

“It hurts…so it can’t be true”

The TRUTH can never hurt you, though, because it’s everything you ever wanted and really are.

The thing that HURTS is holding onto illusions that the light of reality is showing you to be DISTORTIONS.

Ride it out.

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“So What?” is a Secret Weapon Against Shame, Guilt, and Anxiety.

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Life Philosophy/Psychology

Everything changes and life keeps flowing.

If you flow with it, you tend to feel ‘good’; if you weigh yourself down with the tension of your own unreal THOUGHTS and IDEAS then you feel ‘bad’.

Things can happen to us on the surface of our lives but we also have the power to DEAL WITH them by taking a breath, remembering who the frick we are, and reminding ourselves of the age old truth:

WHAT IS REAL ABOUT US IS ALWAYS REAL ABOUT US.

In our realness, we are whole – if you can accept that then you don’t need to let the world shake you from yourself because you know you’re UNSHAKEABLE.

The problem is that we pick up ideas from outside of ourselves that stop us experiencing life as it really is.

Often, these ideas start off as SIGNALS that we’re heading on to the wrong path – sometimes, that’s fine because we need the signal as a NUDGE back to reality.

Signals are supposed to be TEMPORARY, though, so if we allow them to LINGER then we end up treating the signal as the reality (whereas in truth the signal is pointing us back to reality) and it causes all kinds of conceptual confusion.

A few common signals are shame, guilt, and anxiety – in some cases, they may just be a TEMPORARY nudge to remind us that we’re acting out of alignment with our true values and intentions.

If the signal LINGERS or is FORCED UPON US by others, then something unreal is going on and we need to whack out the secret weapon:

“SO WHAT?”

This is a simple tool that helps you circumvent your own programming:

Shame – shame lingers when you believe a lingering INTERNAL signal that you’re no ‘good’.

SO WHAT? You’re whole.

Guilt – guilt lingers when you believe a lingering EXTERNAL signal that you’re actions are no ‘good’.

SO WHAT? They can’t JUDGE your intentions.

Anxiety – anxiety lingers when you start to believe unreal hypothetical signals about the future “What if…?”.

SO WHAT? You’ll still accept yourself anyway.

If any of these emotions linger you have a problem with 1) your ideas, and 2) your identity.

There’s only the truth which is that you’re beyond judgement and that you have nothing to fear if you trust and believe in your own unshakeable connection to the WHOLE.

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