by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness
The Real Reason You’re Exhausted & Tired All The Time
Let’s not sugar-coat it:
If you don’t have any chronic health issues but you’re constantly drained, uninspired, or struggling to get through the day, then something’s ‘off’…and it’s not just because you need another espresso or a vitamin shot.
If you’re tired all the time it’s because you’re not living in a way that’s real.
Your body, mind, and soul are trying to let you know that you’re out-of-sync with yourself because your energy isn’t just a physical resource – it’s a reflection of your how aligned you are with the truth.
This means that when you’re living in an unreal way that’s fake, forced, or fragmented, then your energy starts to leak.
This article breaks it down through a biopsychosociospiritual lens (yeah, I know that’s a mouthful, but it works):
We’ll look at why you’re running on fumes and how to fix it by getting real in every domain of your life.
Let’s dig a little deeper:
Tired All The Time: What We Cover in This Article
- The Real Reason You’re Exhausted & Tired All The Time
- Biological: Fix the Foundation
- Psychological: Stop Fighting Reality
- Social: Gimme Something Real or GTFO
- Spiritual: You Need a Higher Why
- When You Fix Your Inputs, Energy Returns & You Stop Being Tired All the Time
- Practical Tips: How to Get Your Energy Back
- Final Word: Energy is Truth in Motion
Biological: Fix the Foundation
Let’s start with the obvious: your body.
Your body is your interface with reality and so if you’re not looking after it, you’re not giving yourself a fair shot at anything else.
This means that – whether you like it or not – if you want to have a real relationship with your body then you need to start implementing some foundational health habits into your life.
The obvious ones are the ‘basic’ ones that you already know but might not be doing anything about:
- Sleep: Chronic sleep deprivation lowers testosterone, reduces dopamine sensitivity, impairs memory and slows your metabolism – not exactly the traits of a powerful, present man.
- Nutrition: Processed foods and constant sugar spikes mess with your blood sugar and gut health and – since 90% of your serotonin is made in the gut – this means that your mood and energy take a hit.
- Movement: Regular exercise increases mitochondrial function (and we all remember from biology class that mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell), boosts your mood, and regulates your nervous system.
It literally makes you more energetic and resilient as you go through life (which means you’re better equipped to handle stress and seeing as “life is one darned thing after another” that’s a very good thing).
Bottom line? You can’t transcend biology and so you need solid health habits if you want to be an energetic player in the game of life.
If your body is overloaded with caffeine, toxins, processed food, zero sunlight, and poor sleep, you’re basically putting a sports car on cheap fuel and wondering why it keeps breaking down.
Psychological: Stop Fighting Reality
Here’s where it gets juicy:
Most of us waste tons of energy trying to maintain beliefs that simply aren’t real.
Think about it:
When you believe something false like “I’m not good enough“, “I have to prove myself to be loved“, or “The world is against me“, then your nervous system goes into constant fight-or-flight ‘alert’ mode which means that you’re always on edge and braced against the truth.
This puts you in a constant battle with reality that is exhausting.
This is what happens when your ego and your shadow self get into what I call the Shadow Dance:
- The ego creates an image of how you should be.
- The shadow holds everything you’ve repressed to maintain that image.
The more fake your persona (i.e. the more you’re hiding from yourself in the shadows), the more energy it takes to keep the illusions alive.
That’s where the fatigue comes from:
You’re not tired because of your workload; you’re tired because of your identity load.
When you start telling the truth (even just to yourself), energy is freed up and you get a release from the unnecessary friction, frustration, and misery that identification with the ego brings.
You’re no longer at war with yourself and what is.
Social: Gimme Something Real or GTFO
Energy is contagious and so if you spend your life surrounded by people who:
- Complain about everything
- Gossip
- Live for validation
- Expect you to perform a role
…then you’re in the wrong tribe.
Your nervous system subconsciously mirrors those around you:
This is called limbic resonance and it means you literally pick up the emotional frequencies of those close to you.
Hang around the real ones – people who are grounded, purpose-driven, honest, and energising – and watch what happens.
You don’t have to go full monk and ghost everyone but if someone constantly drains you or demands you fake it just to be accepted? That’s not brotherhood. That’s bondage.
Choose connection that gives you energy, not only takes it (a real relationship involves giving and taking, not just one or the other).
A sacred mantra to remember here is: “Gimme something real or GFTO” – if you know you’re never going to get anything real from the people around you, then you know that what you are going to get is your energy being drained.
Choose to walk away and to replace the unreal with the real – that’s guaranteed to energise you as there’ll be less fakery and drama.
Spiritual: You Need a Higher Why
Spirituality in this context isn’t about religion – it’s about alignment with something bigger than your ego.
If you’re living only for your own survival, comfort, or image, then you’re destined to eventually burn out and for life to start feeling flat and empty.
On the other hand, real energy comes from purpose, meaning, contribution, love, service, and truth.
Call it God, mission, purpose, soul or whatever else works for you – just accept that it’s real and without i, you’ll always be tired and looking for ‘more’ (because you’ll be stuck in the Void).
If your life is disconnected from this kind of higher dimension, you’ll run out of fuel, because the ego doesn’t run on anything sustainable (as it’s completely unreal) – it needs constant top-ups of approval, distraction, and dopamine just to keep the illusion going.
Of course, you don’t need to become a saint but you do need to ask yourself:
“What am I living for that’s bigger than my fears, my image, or my comfort zone?”
The answer is your recharge station and the way to start getting high on life instead of drained by it.
My book ‘Trust: A Manual in Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace‘ will help you to live in a real way that energises you instead of an unreal way that drains you.
When You Fix Your Inputs, Energy Returns & You Stop Being Tired All the Time
Here’s the ‘good’ news:
When you address your inputs at each level – biological, psychological, social, and spiritual – your energy has to return because you stop leaking energy and start generating it.
This isn’t just some nice sounding woo-woo that I pulled out of my belly button (when I was gazing into it) – there’s real science behind it:
- Sleep and mitochondria: Quality sleep improves mitochondrial function and ATP production (adenosine triphosphate) which helps your cells function properly.
- Social connection: Real human connection increases oxytocin, dopamine, and vagal tone (which regulates your nervous system by calming the vagus nerve) – all of which are linked to resilience and vitality.
- Spiritual practices: Studies show that meaning and purpose correlate with longer lifespan, lower inflammation, and a better mood overall.
- Mental reprogramming: Letting go of limiting beliefs reduces cortisol, increases heart rate variability, and frees up cognitive bandwidth.
In short: truth heals and realness restores.
Practical Tips: How to Get Your Energy Back
Here are a few grounded steps to reclaim your energy starting right now:
1. Audit your energy leaks
Write down everything that drains you (people, habits, thoughts, tasks) – identify what’s real vs what you’re doing to maintain ego (or for any other unreal reason) and then start taking action to make sure you start plugging the leaks.
2. Fix your biological inputs
- Go to bed at the same time every night.
- Cut processed food for at least a week and eat whole foods instead.
- Move daily – even a 30-minute walk makes a difference.
3. Start telling the truth
Pick one belief or behaviour that isn’t real for you anymore and let it go.
I’ve said it many times but all you need to do is: 1) Uncover the truth, 2) Live the truth (repeat)
4. Curate your connections
Spend more time with people who energise you instead of sucking you into a blackhole of drama, fakery, or just general bullshit. Create space from energy vampires.
5. Connect with purpose
Ask yourself what really matters to you and start to create a real vision for yourself. Take one small step towards living it out today.
Final Word: Energy is Truth in Motion
When you’re living in a way that’s unreal, you’ll always be tired but when you’re living in a way that’s real, your energy becomes a force of nature.
This isn’t about grinding harder, hustling longer, or hacking your way through burnout – it’s about remembering who you really are and aligning your life with it.
So if you’re tired all the time, stop asking, “What supplement or new life hack do I need?” and start asking “What truth have I been avoiding?“
Because real always works.
Stay real out there,
P.S. If you’re ready to grow real and energise yourself and you’re interested in coaching then book a free coaching session with me and I’ll help you find your real path again.
Trust: A Manual for Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace is a book about learning to return to your realness by cultivating trust in yourself and trust in life.
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