by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness
Slow Down: Life is Too Short to Rush
You’ve most definitely heard it said that life is short…and it is.
But that doesn’t mean you need to live it at 100mph, guzzling stress throughout the day like a few dozen shots of espresso and sprinting after outcomes like they owe you money.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth that it seems nobody wants to hear:
Rushing through life is just the quickest way to waste it.
We’ve been sold this idea that if we just go harder, do more, hustle, grind, and move a little faster then we’ll finally arrive at some magical destination where everything finally makes sense and where we’re successful, fulfilled, walking on water, in love with life, and no longer waking up with the existential dread of the Void.
The only problem with this is that this place doesn’t exist – at least it doesn’t when you’re chasing it with a clenched jaw, blood vessels about to burst on the side of your forehead, and a never-ending to-do list in your sweaty hands.
This article will help you understand the rationale for slowing down and working with life instead of against it to get the results you want (and, paradoxically, usually even quicker than you would if you kept rushing).
Let’s dig a little deeper:
Slow Down to Speed Up: What We’ll Cover in this Article
- Slow Down: Life is Too Short to Rush
The Friction, Frustration, and Misery of the Fast Lane
Let’s break down the problems with ‘rushing’:
When you rush to get where you think you need to be, you don’t just create movement, you create friction.
And, friction, when you’re not paying attention, turns into frustration which – if left unchecked – becomes bitterness, burnout, and eventually misery.
The sad irony is that most people don’t even notice it happening:
They’re too busy sprinting towards a future version of themselves and their lives that’s meant to ‘save’ them from the discomfort they feel right now and, because they’re moving so fast, they never stop to ask the most important question:
What’s the frickin’ rush?
Here’s the truth of it:
Life doesn’t respond well to force.
It bends and flows for those who trust and work with it but – when you come at life with desperation, urgency, or impatience – you’re essentially attempting to fight reality…and reality always wins.
Rushing is essentially just your ego’s way of saying, “I don’t trust that I’m going to be okay unless I control everything and get what I want now.”
It’s a war with time, a war with yourself, and – most importantly – a war you can’t win.
The War of Impatience
Impatience is often disguised as ambition but there’s a subtle difference between the two:
Real ambition doesn’t panic and doesn’t need constant proof that it’s on track because it’s rooted as an expression of something true instead of as an attempt to outrun underlying feelings of shame and the Void.
What’s really going on when you’re impatient is that you’re trying to escape the present moment because it doesn’t match the image in your head (i.e. it doesn’t align with what your ego thinks it needs to keep its hold over you).
You want more money? You want the business to boom? You want the relationship, the body, the recognition?
Awesome.
All of those things are good things – even GREAT things – but as soon as you start treating them as the ULTIMATE thing(s) that will fill that void you’re trying to outrun then you start coming from a place of lack and you’ll only make yourself more empty.
Why?
Because you’ve made a unicorn out of the goal:
You’ve told yourself that life doesn’t begin until you get there and so, until then, you’re just holding your breath, clenching your fists, and resenting everything that isn’t the dream.
This is what psychologists call outcome-dependence and it’s the emotional equivalent of outsourcing your self-worth to somebody else that will never be able to see your value in the first place.
Chasing the Unicorn
Outcome-dependence always hijacks your ability to be present in life and holds your identity hostage:
If you don’t get the outcome you want – exactly when and how you want it – you start to question your own value…and that’s not just exhausting – it’s damaging.
The main problem here is that the ‘unicorn’ you’re chasing doesn’t and probably never will exist – not because goals are bad (I’m a coach so of course I don’t think that) but because they’re not meant to complete you:
They’re meant to direct you.
When you’re in a rush, you can’t see this simple truth and so you’re so focused on the finish line that you forget to actually run the race.
You forget that progress is made in steps, not leaps, that consistency beats intensity, and that a steady flow always outruns a chaotic scramble.
Most importantly, you forget that you can’t and don’t need to rush what’s real.
Why Slowing Down Gets You There Faster
Here’s where we enter a bit of a pardox:
Most of the time, when you stop rushing and start trusting, things begin to flow faster and with less friction.
Not because you’re doing less, but because you’re doing it with presence and clarity – in other words, your time, energy, and attention (your greatest assets) are no longer scattered and instead you’re dialled in and focused on what’s actually happening.
Instead of forcing things to happen, you allow them to unfold; instead of chasing perfection, you start building something sustainable; instead of outsourcing your self-worth to outcomes, you find value in who you are right now.
This is what it means to slow down to speed up:
When you slow down, you:
- Actually notice what’s working and what’s not.
- Connect the dots more clearly.
- Stay emotionally regulated because your nervous system is regulated.
- Conserve energy and apply it intentionally (instead of wasting it resisting reality).
- Make decisions from your realness, not your ego.
All of this serves to help you stop adding unnecessary friction between yourself and life so that you can get results from life without forcing life.
My book Trust: A Manual in Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace will help you to let go and trust life so you can work with reality instead of against it.
The Realness of the Process
One thing we should point out is that “slowing down” doesn’t mean being lazy, passive, or giving up on your goals – it simply means having the courage to go deeper into life and to focus on the process instead of obsessing over the (potential) payoff.
When you’re process-focused, you live in reality because reality is a process:
You work with what is instead of what you think should be and you start showing up from a place of trust rather than fear – and trust, as anyone who’s done deep personal work knows, is the foundation of real power (my new book Trust: A Manual in Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace is about this topic for this reason).
Instead of asking, “How can I make this happen faster?” you start asking, “What’s the best next move I can make right now?” which keeps you RESPONSIVE instead of reactionary and allows you to keep moving with the process of reality from one-moment-to-the-next (instead of trying to work against it by being impatient and forcing things).
In short, when you focus on the process like this, you don’t need to rush because you already know that you’re constantly in real motion.
The Ego’s Role in Rushing
Most rushing comes from ego – the part of you that’s still trying to prove something or that wants reality to be something other than it is (so the ego can believe it’s more real than it actually is).
It shows up as that little Gremlin in your mind that says things like “You should be further along by now” and it’s obsessed with comparison, control, and outcomes – never really caring about the truth, only masks and perceptions.
Even though the ego is ultimately a performance (that we bought into because of the Unholy Trinity of shame, guilt, and/or trauma), real growth isn’t performative but is integrative (which means facing and integrating all of the parts of yourself you have hidden in the shadows of yourself).
This kind of integration takes time:
You can’t force a seed to grow faster by shouting at it because needs the right environment—sunlight, water, patience, and trust. The same applies also to your vision.
When you slow down, you stop acting from shame:
You stop measuring your worth by your ‘wins’ and you realise that realness isn’t about getting more, it’s about being more – more present, more real, and more fully in the game.
The Practice of Slowing Down: How to Do It Without Falling Behind
If you want to actually live this way, not just nod in agreement, you’ll need a strategy.
Here’s a three-step framework rooted in trust and REALNESS that will help:
1. Clarify the Goal & Make It Real
Start by asking yourself: What am I actually working towards and is it coming from realness or ego?
If your goal is based on proving your worth, outshining others, or running away from shame, it’s probably a unicorn.
Let it go and shift focus to something real instead:
- Define your goal based on values, not vanity.
- Ask: “What would this give me emotionally?” and “How can I start creating that feeling now?”
- Make it tangible, measurable, and meaningful to you.
2. Vision and Clarity
Once your goal is real, create a vision that keeps you inspired but not obsessed (because obsession often belongs to the ego):
- Visualise what success looks and feels like – use this vision to align yourself and to merge past, present, and future.
- Break the vision down into stages and milestones so you don’t get overwhelmed.
- Write it out, speak it aloud, or create a vision board – whatever works for you to keep it alive and remind you daily where you’re headed.
This next part is the really important part (and it might seem counterintuitive):
Once you’ve got clarity on your goals and vision then take your mind off of it and focus on the process instead.
When you know what you want then you don’t have to keep thinking about it – you need to get to work on making it a reality.
Don’t stare at the picture on the packet of seeds hoping that the plant grows – plant the seeds and keep watering them daily.
3. Focus on the Process & Flow with Reality
Once you’re focused on the process, you can focus on the present (because you’re always engaged in the process based on the conscious choices that you make).
Every day you need to be checking in with yourself:
- What’s one step I can take today that moves me towards my vision?
- How can I bring my full presence to this next step?
- Where am I still trying to rush and what’s that really about? (I.e. what emotional ‘stuff’ is causing you to stop trusting and try to force things instead).
The goal is not to try harder but to show up better.
This means regulating your nervous system, staying grounded in your body, and refusing to act from fear (which is usually just F.E.A.R: “False Evidence Appearing Real”).
When you stop sprinting and start trusting, you find yourself moving with life rather than against it.
In Summary: Be Real, Not Rushed
Slowing down to speed up isn’t just a productivity hack – it’s a spiritual strategy that will guide you into returning to yourself so you can stop living as a performance and start living in truth.
Next time your inner critic tells you to hurry up, remind yourself:
- Rushing is usually a trauma response, not a success strategy (unless there’s an actual emergency).
- You are not behind – you’re on your path and the process is always unfolding.
- Realness takes time but it also saves you time in the long-run.
- You don’t need to prove anything – you just need to be present and keep going.
Trust the process, focus on what’s real, slow the hell down, and you’ll probably get there faster than you think.
Stay real out there,
P.S. If you’re ready to slow down to speed up and you’re interested in coaching then book a free coaching session with me and I’ll help you start taking real action at your own rhythm.
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