REAL LIFE VISION: Merging Past, Present, and Future

by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness

REAL LIFE VISION, REAL LIFE GOALS, REAL LIFE HABITS: HOW TO BUILD YOUR FUTURE FROM THE GROUND UP

We all have an innate sense of who we could become – the strongest, most grounded, most REAL version of ourselves, standing just beyond the present moment, waiting for us to step forward, reach out, and lean in to it.

This ‘best version’ of us is not a fantasy; it is a potential reality, but only if we actively engage with the process of becoming – a process that’s unfolding right now and is affected by the CHOICES that we make from moment-to-moment.

This is a little challenging sometimes because we exist in the space between two forces:

One of these is who we are in our REALNESS, the version of us that moves with purpose, engages with life fully, and acts in alignment with truth. This version of us is WHOLE and is moving into deeper wholeness as we take more and more real action.

The other is who think we are because of EGO, the one that resists change, prioritises ease over growth, and clings to short-term gratification. This version of us is FRAGMENTED because of our underlying emotional ‘stuff’ – shame, mainly – that stops us accepting who we really are and what we want to be, think, feel, and do.

The tension between these two selves – the real and unreal – determines the direction of our lives.

One vital key to winning this internal battle is to create and commit to a REAL LIFE VISION:

The reason for this is that a real life vision for the future creates clarity, purpose, and momentum – it also allows us to merge the past, the present, and the future, aligning our decisions and actions in a way that fosters long-term transformation.

Let’s explore in a little more detail:

Integrating the Past, Present, and Future

Most people live in the fragmentation of EGO:

They are either trapped in their past, held back by unresolved emotional ‘stuff’ and associated patterns and limiting beliefs; lost in the present, reacting impulsively and chaotically without direction; or obsessed with the future, constantly striving but never truly engaging with life and becoming too anxious to take real action as a result.

To embody our realness, we need to integrate all three:

The past must be acknowledged and integrated which means learning that we are not bound by it, but we must learn from it. Every experience ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – holds lessons that, when embraced, become fuel for growth rather than chains that hold us back.
The present is where we take action. Every decision, every moment, is an opportunity to respond to reality rather than react blindly. When we stay grounded in the present while keeping our vision in mind, we create a dynamic balance between movement and mindfulness. This helps us to feel fully alive and to keep growing and evolving.
The future is our compass. A clear vision generates a healthy creative tension – a pull that moves us forward without disconnecting us from the moment. This tension is not stress; it is energy. When harnessed correctly, it creates a flow state where we are both fully engaged in the present and moving towards something greater and more real.

Short-Term vs Long-Term Thinking

A fragmented life is often a result of short-term thinking – making decisions based on immediate gratification rather than long-term impact. This is why so many people struggle to change.

Take weight loss as an example:

If you only see yourself through the lens of who you have been, because you think that’s “Just the way I am”, you will inevitably fall back into old habits because at the level of the unconscious you are programmed to be that ‘version’ of yourself…you will prioritise comfort over growth because your self-image is tethered to the past.

On the other hand, if you see yourself as someone who is becoming – someone actively shifting towards a healthier, stronger version of themselves – then your daily decisions will start to reflect that transformation and you’ll start to see actual results.

This is the difference between being stuck in the short-term (focusing on identity/ego) and thinking long-term (focusing on real life vision).

When you adopt long-term thinking, you no longer make decisions based on who you were or even who you are now alone (because ‘now’ isn’t the end of the line) – you make them based on who you are being and becoming.

Turning Your REAL Life Vision into REAL Life Goals and your REAL Life Goals into REAL Life Habits

A vision alone is not enough – many people have dreams, but without action, they remain fantasies. A real life vision must be translated into real life goals – tangible, structured, and actionable steps that create forward momentum.

1. Clarify Your REAL Life Vision

Your vision shouldn’t be vague or abstract – it needs to be detailed and specific so that you have clarity about what you’re doing (though your vision may change as you move forward and learn more about yourself, the world, and reality). It should also be an extension of your real VALUES so that you know it’s aligned with something that really matters to you – check out this article about values for more on that: Unlocking Your Core Values: A Guide to Living Your REAL Life:

Ask yourself:

What does my Realest Self look like?
How can I make my values valuable to others?
How do they act, think, and make decisions?
How do they feel?
What kind of work do they do?
How do they engage with their body, mind, and relationships?
What do they prioritise?

This is not about constructing an idealised version of yourself – it is about recognising and moving towards the person you are capable of being based on what you’ve already experience and what you want to experience in the future.

2. Set REAL Goals That Align with Your Vision

Once you’ve created a vision for where you’re headed, it’s time to start breaking it down into the GOALS that will make it happen. At this stage, you want to find REAL goals which means that they’re aligned with your vision but also excite and energise you on the way there.

A REAL Goal moves you towards your vision in a structured way.

It should be:

Specific – Vague intentions lead to vague results. Instead of saying, “I want to be healthier”, set a goal like, “I will train three times a week and improve my diet”.
Process-Oriented – Focus on actions, not just outcomes. Instead of fixating on a target weight, focus on building the habits that will get you there. More importantly, once you know the goal itself, shift your attention to the process so that you can stay present and actually enjoy making it happen.
Aligned with Your Long-Term Vision – If a goal does not move you towards your Realness, it is probably a distraction so get rid of it.

3. Create REAL Habits to Close the Gap

Goals set the direction, but habits determine whether or not you arrive where you want to go – every major transformation is built on the foundation of small, consistent actions over time.

When you have the right and real habits in place then you will be able to navigate cause-and-effect and make progress towards your goals (almost) daily.

With all of these habits you need to be focused, disciplined, and consistent.

Here’s some examples:

If your vision is to be physically strong, your habits need to reflect that = regular training, proper nutrition, and recovery.
If your vision is to be financially independent, your habits need to include disciplined spending, investing, and skill-building.
If your vision is to be emotionally resilient, your habits need to include self-reflection, boundary-setting, and mindfulness practices.

(All just examples but you get the point, hopefully).

Every habit is either moving you towards your vision and your realness or is reinforcing an old identity and patterns that no longer serve you.

This is why habits are so important: they give the power to make a CHOICE for the real ‘stuff’ and to keep compounding your results daily.

The Power of Process Over Event Thinking

One of the biggest mistakes people make is expecting one big event to change their lives – a moment of clarity, a lucky break, or an external shift in their fortunes. Real change doesn’t happen in a single moment, though – it happens through process.

You do not suddenly become fit – you build fitness through working the right process.
You do not suddenly become successful – you build success through working the right process.
You do not suddenly become real – you step into realness through working the right process.

Again, this all comes down to knowing where we’re headed and making the CHOICES that support that over time. Ultimately, it’s about choosing the EFFECT that we want (being fit/successful/real) and living as the CAUSE that makes it happen (instead of just hoping things happen, not having a vision, and getting lost in the short-term view we take of things).

The more we embrace the process, the more we merge past, present, and future – we learn from where we have been, act in the present, and move towards what we are becoming. This is how we BUILD FLOW and start to live our REAL lives.

Merging Time: Living as the Bridge Between Past, Present, and Future

A real human being is someone who understands how to balance these three dimensions of time:

They integrate their past rather than being controlled by it (which means they face the SHADOW SELF).
They respond to reality in the present rather than reacting impulsively (which means their EGO isn’t holding them back).
They move towards a real future rather than drifting aimlessly (which means they embody the purpose of their REALNESS and TRUST themselves and life).

This is why realness is a long-term project – it is built day by day, decision by decision. It is not about perfection – it is about moving towards a deeper sense of WHOLENESS instead of FRAGMENTATION (and we can always go deeper).

How to Implement This Today

Here’s some basics to help you start living with REAL life vision, REAL life goals, and REAL life habits:

Write down your REAL Life Vision – Get clear on your values and the person you are becoming (don’t just have a to-do list but also a to-be list – e.g. more disciplined, creative, joyful etc.)
Set three REAL Goals – Make them specific, actionable, and process-driven. Commit to REAL ACTION every day.
Build one new habit that aligns with your vision and goals – Small steps compound into massive change over time. This is how you use the law of cause and effect.
Practice self-awareness – Before making a decision, ask: Is this bringing me closer to my Realness? Am I choosing WHOLENESS or FRAGMENTATION?
Let go of the past – Stop seeing yourself as who think you were; start seeing yourself as who you are becoming.

If you want to go really deep into this then check out my free 7-Day course (with 158-page PDF workbook): The 7-Day Personality Transplant System Shock for Realness and Life Purpose.

Final Thoughts: The Future is Unwritten, But You Are Writing It RIGHT NOW

You are not just being – you are becoming:

Every choice you make is either reinforcing your past self and ego or moving you closer to your future self and realness.

Are you making choices from a place of responsiveness or are you simply reacting to life?

The future is not something that ‘happens’ to you – it is something you help to shape through your actions in the present, guided by the lessons of the past.

Live as the bridge between where you’ve been, where you are, and where you’re going.

Stay real out there,

*Based on ‘Revolution’ number twenty two in Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness

Trust: A Manual for Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace is a book about learning to return to your realness by cultivating trust in yourself and trust in life.

It contains practical exercises and dedicated meditations (Transformational Bridges) to take you DEEP in knowing yourself and life.

This book will answer many of the questions you have growing REAL and flowing towards wholeness. It covers everything from shame to addiction to the unconscious mind and synchronicity (and way more).

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Real Always Works

REAL LIFE VISION, REAL LIFE GOALS, REAL LIFE HABITS: HOW TO BUILD YOUR FUTURE FROM THE GROUND UP

Integrating the Past, Present, and Future

Short-Term vs Long-Term Thinking