by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness
Feel Like You’re Wasting Your Life? You Probably Are Then
If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking about how you’re wasting your life and the time keeps passing you by then you’re not alone and you’re (probably) not crazy.
Though this “I’m wasting my life” feeling might keep haunting you and driving you mad – especially if you’re not taking real ACTION to do something about it – it’s actually good news that you’re experiencing it because it’s a sign that things are changing for you and this makes it some of the most and helpful self-feedback you’ve had in years.
In other words, it’s a sign that the choices you’ve made so far in life have led you to a place that you no longer want to be.
Here’s an uncomfortable truth that can eventually change your life for the best:
If you feel like you’re wasting your life… you probably are because nobody who’s living their REAL life would ever feel this way or think any of the associated thoughts that the feeling engenders.
Not because you’re lazy or broken or missed some imaginary deadline but because there’s a deeper part of you – your realness – that knows you’re not living in alignment with who you are and what you’re really capable of (your true potential).
When you feel and start thinking along the lines of “I’m wasting my life”, it means that your realness is trying to wake you up and help you to course correct so you can start walking on a real path instead of an unreal one.
This isn’t some passing thought to brush off – this is your soul throwing a brick through the window because you stopped listening to the whispers it was throwing your way in an attempt to bring you back home to yourself and – if you finally start paying attention to it instead of numbing yourself and doing the same old things that got you where you don’t wanna be – you might just change everything.
Let’s dig a little deeper:
“I’m Wasting my Life”: What We’ll Cover in this Article
- Feel Like You’re Wasting Your Life? You Probably Are Then
- “I’m Wasting My Life”: Why You Feel Like This
- Realness as Feedback
- The Clock Is Ticking
- Start Wasting Your Life by Breaking Your Old Identity
- “I’m Wasting My Life” Means It’s Time To Make Changes and Real Change Requires Real Risk
- “I’m Wasting My Life”: You Already Know What to Do
- “I’m Wasting My Life”: Practical Steps to Get Moving Again
- Wasting Your Life: The Final Word
“I’m Wasting My Life”: Why You Feel Like This
There are usually two common reasons people end up in this place:
The first is that they’ve had real challenges in life – shame, guilt, trauma, failure, betrayal, burnout – and as a result, they’ve picked up excuses and limiting beliefs just to cope. Over time, these beliefs form an identity (ego) that says, “It’s too late” or “This is just the way I am” or “This is just the way it is” and so you stop growing because you think you can’t (not because it’s actually true – human beings are wired for continuous growth into wholeness over the course of their lifetimes).
The second reason is a bit more subtle but leads to the same place:
You’ve experienced a degree of success in your life – maybe even a lot – but it’s locked you into the comfort zone and so you’ve taken yourself out of the natural flow of life and any sense of personal (r)evolution.
In this state, you’re not truly fulfilled, but you’re comfortable enough that change feels risky (even though, again, change is the natural state of our lives) – you tell yourself you should be grateful, you convince yourself it’s selfish to want more, but something in you knows the truth: you’re just coasting and going through the motions (and, deep down, you hate it which is why you keep feeling like “I’m wasting my life”).
In both cases, what’s actually happening is the same:
You’ve disconnected from your realness – that internal compass that always points toward meaning and wholeness.
You’ve started living through an identity that’s no longer serving you.
And that inner tension – the feeling of wasted time, wasted energy, and wasted self – is the pressure building up as your realness fights to come back online so you can make the most of your life instead of “wasting” it.
Realness as Feedback
The feeling of wasting your life isn’t random or irrational and it definitely shouldn’t be ignored and swept under the carpet:
It’s feedback.
In other words, the mind-body system is working exactly as it should and your body, your emotions, your deeper mind, and very being are all screaming for your attention in unison:
“This isn’t it. Make some changes.”
And what’s not “it” is the version of you that’s trying to live without risk – the version that’s afraid to stretch; the version that’s stuck in outdated beliefs, emotional wounds, or just plain old-fashioned inertia.
Like we already said:
Human beings are wired to grow. We’re not meant to stay still (though, of course, we sometimes need stillness to recalibrate and regulate our nervous systems).
We’re built for endless evolution (because, as long as we’re alive, we’ll be a work in progress) – for stretching, reaching, diving deeper into wholeness.
Whenever this natural process process is blocked, whether by F.E.A.R (“False Evidence Appearing Real”), comfort, shame, or self-deception, you don’t just feel bored – you feel empty because you end up living your life in the Void instead of reality (which really is a waste of life, if you ask me).
This is why the solution is always the same – no matter how you ended up feeling like you’re wasting your life:
You’ve got to start moving again.
Not chaotically. Not in a desperate scramble to ‘fix’ your life but intentionally – in alignment with the truth that’s been trying to break through to you all along.
The Clock Is Ticking
Let’s not tiptoe around it: you’re going to die (don’t feel too bad – so am I):
So is everyone. And we know this – sort of…but most people keep this awareness buried deep in the unconscious because it’s too uncomfortable to face and makes life too difficult in the short-term if we’ve been making unreal choices and don’t want to face it.
We drown this out with distractions, busyness, and overthinking but, at some level, we all know: this is it. We only get one shot at this lifetime.
And this is exactly why the feeling of wasting your life is so powerful:
Because beneath all the ego stories and societal expectations is a simple, timeless truth:
Your life matters. It’s too precious to be wasted. We’re all limited edition (because, like we just said, death is inevitable).
It’s supposed to mean something and when it doesn’t – when you’re not living in a way that expresses the truth of who you are – your body and mind start a revolution against you to try and make you wake up.
You get depressed. You get anxious. You get restless. You feel dead inside.
This is not a malfunction, though – it’s a message.
Start Wasting Your Life by Breaking Your Old Identity
So we’ve explored how we end up feeling like our lives are being wasted and what it means but how do you change it?
Well the answer is pretty simple but not always ‘easy’ to execute (which is why coaches like me exist – to keep you on track):
You have to let go of the identity that brought you here.
You have to confront the ego that built its castle on fear and control; you have to face the shadow self – those parts of yourself you’ve hidden away because they didn’t feel safe, convenient, or ‘acceptable’ according to somebody else’s definition of ‘normal’.
Believe it or not, most people who feel like they’re wasting their lives already know what they want – at least to some basic extent:
They have intuitive nudges, creative ideas, longings, values, and even visions that often show up subtly, in dreams, passing thoughts, or pangs of jealousy when they see someone else living authentically.
Unfortunately, every time they try to bring them into the light, the ego steps in to protect the status quo and so they never act on these things and so that “I’m wasting my life” feeling just keeps haunting them.
The ego keeps our realness at bay by whispering illusions that cause fear, doubt, and hesitation:
- “It’s too risky”
- “What if you fail?”
- “What will people think?”
And so the cycle continues and nothing ever changes:
Familiar patterns get lived out – days, months, years pass and that low-level ache – the one you try to numb – keeps becoming more painful until, eventually, it turns into a crisis.
But it doesn’t have to – you just need to stop wasting your life.
“I’m Wasting My Life” Means It’s Time To Make Changes and Real Change Requires Real Risk
Here’s a paradox:
Living your real life – your actual, truth-aligned life – isn’t about being heroic and taking control of everything…it’s about being humble. It means accepting that your ego doesn’t have all the answers and that growth comes from stepping into the unknown.
Risk is built into realness because dealing with reality always involves uncertainty (which always brings some degree of risk):
This means that to start living your real life and get over that “I’m wasting my life” feeling, then you’ll feel exposed and uncertain.
But you’ll also feel alive as soon as you start taking steps away from the old and towards the REAL because you’ll but realigning yourself with nature and your natural desire to flow with life and to build momentum (instead of being stuck in stasis because of the ego’s illusions).
The bottom line is that as long as you’re in the process of stretching towards something that matters to you, you will not feel like you’re wasting your life. You’ll feel engaged and lit up. Flowing, even.
Even if you’re tired and even if it’s hard.
Human beings are designed to thrive in the stretch zone – that sacred space between the comfort zone (where you feel bored and fed up) and the panic zone (where you’ve gone too far and feel terrified).
That’s where you grow and where you remember what you’re made of.
“I’m Wasting My Life”: You Already Know What to Do
Let’s be honest – there’s probably something you already know you need to do:
A step you’ve been avoiding; a decision you’ve been dancing around; something real ‘thing’ that keeps bubbling up from your shadow that your conscious mind keeps batting away for the sake of safety and familiarity.
You don’t need to know how it all ends (because that’s impossible anyway – you can have a loose idea of what things might look like at the very best but reality will always be slightly different) – you just need to start by taking the next obvious step and then waiting for the next one to appear after you’ve taken it.
Even if it’s one small act of courage, one honest conversation, one hour a day devoted to something real, one whatever – just get it done.
Because the fact is that, the longer you wait, the heavier it gets and nobody is coming to save you. No one else can take the risk for you.
You have to decide: will you keep reliving the old story, or will you start writing a new one?
That decision is the only thing standing between wasting your life and actually LIVING it.
“I’m Wasting My Life”: Practical Steps to Get Moving Again
Here’s a simple framework to help you shift from “I’m wasting my life” to “I’m living with purpose”:
- Start Facing The TRUTH About Yourself, The World, and Reality:
Write down exactly what you’re avoiding in life that’s keeping you stuck and constantly feeling like you’re wasting your precious time. No filters. No edits.
A prompt that can get you started is: “If I were being radically honest, I’d admit that…” (write in a “stream of consciousness” type way and see where it takes you). - Create a Real Vision
Imagine your life without fear: What would you do? Who would you let yourself become?
A good prompt here: “If nothing were off-limits, my life would look like…”
Create a vision for yourself that’s real instead of one that’s limited by all the assumptions of ego that have led to where you feel like time is being wasted. - Set Stretch Goals
Choose 1–3 goals related to your vision that scare you a little but excite you a lot.
These are your stretch goals – big enough to grow you, not so big they paralyse you.
Commit to them and get them DONE. This will give you evidence that the real you is rising and that you’re not “wasting” your life anymore. - Build Daily Habits
Anchor your vision and goals in daily actions that will help you to grow real day-by-day – small, consistent steps will carry you further than occasional bursts of inspiration.
Ask yourself “What can I do today to prove I’m serious?” and then go do it. Daily until you’re where you want to be (or beyond). - Get Accountability and Support to Speed Up Your Progress
Don’t try to do it all alone (no man is an island, after all) – whether it’s a coach like me, a friend, or a group, let someone witness your commitment and to help you keep stretching yourself. Iron sharpens iron, after all.
Wasting Your Life: The Final Word
You don’t need to blow up your whole life overnight but you do need to stop pretending you have unlimited time and to acknowledge that you can only keep “wasting” your life if that’s what you CHOOSE to do at some level.
It doesn’t have to be this way:
You get one precious shot at this lifetime and if you feel like you’re wasting it, then something in you is ready for more. Based on everything we’ve said, the odds are that ‘more’ means something REAL.
So don’t ignore that ache – don’t dismiss the whispers or wait for for permission (that’s never coming) to live your REAL life.
Feel it, accept it as the feedback it is, and then act on it because as soon as you start moving towards something real…you stop wasting your life.
You can do that RIGHT NOW.
Stay real out there,
P.S. If you’re interested in coaching and you’re ready to stop wasting your life and grow real then book a free coaching call with me now and I’ll help you start taking the steps that matter to you (it’s an actual coaching call, not a sales call – I will just give you an experience of my coaching, no strings attached, and help you the best I can).
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