Your Beliefs & the Future: Your Beliefs Today Are Showing You Your Future

by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness

Your Beliefs Today Show You The Life You’ll Be Living Further On Down the Line

This might sound a tad dramatic but I’ve really come to believe that you can often see (or, at least, predict) a person’s future by paying attention to the language they use and the beliefs that they hold today.

No, I’m not claiming this as some kind of scientific law or saying that human beings are trapped by an inescapable fate – life is far too complicated for that and people and circumstances change, miracles and tragedies happen and there are far too many variables beyond our control.

What I am saying is something much simpler, though:

If you listen carefully to what somebody repeatedly believes about themselves, the world, and reality itself then you can often make a surprisingly accurate ‘guess‘ about where they’re headed.

This article isn’t really about judging anybody else, though – it’s about helping you to notice where your own unconscious intentions might already be steering your life without you even realising it because, if your beliefs are rooted in shame and unreality, then you’ll probably spend years trying to force life to become something it isn’t.

On the other hand, if your beliefs become increasingly aligned with reality, then you’ll probably keep learning, growing, adapting, and becoming more whole.

That’s the difference between fighting reality and flowing with it.

Let’s dig a little deeper:

Your beliefs won't make reality go away.

Your Beliefs & The Future: What We Cover in This Article

The Future Usually Doesn’t Arrive Overnight

I’m getting on a bit now (by some definitions, anyway) – I’m 44 years old and one thing I’ve noticed over the years is that some people can spend decades talking about the same future without ever actually moving towards it.

We’ve all met people like this but here are some examples from my own life:

I know an “entrepreneur” who has never managed to build any lasting business success despite calling himself an entrepreneur for decades. He’s still skint and every year there’s another business idea, another scheme, and another shortcut.

Gotta respect the man for trying but if nothing ever changes then something clearly needs changing.
I also know a woman who’s constantly talking about starting an “intuitive healing business” and so she tweaks her Instagram bio every few weeks, redesigns her logo, and announces new beginnings but – five years later – she’s still essentially where she started.
I know a bloke who can’t understand why he never finds genuine love yet every conversation revolves around all of the problems in his life, how he just can’t get a break, and how the modern world is going to hell, we can’t trust anybody, and there’s nothing we can do about it (he cold be right, I suppose, but the end result is that he’s chasing intimacy while proudly advertising the exact beliefs that make intimacy almost impossible).
I also know someone who’s struggled with depression and mental health issues for over ten years – that genuinely breaks my heart and so I’m not making light of their suffering because mental illness is real and depression can be devastating and make even the smallest of tasks a massive mountain to overcome.

The only problem is that alongside that suffering they’ve continued smoking huge amounts of weed, never exercising, avoiding responsibility, and finding new reasons why nothing can improve and why they’re a victim…when you look at it like that it’s not much of a surprise that nothing has changed a decade later.

On and on it goes….

Please don’t misunderstand me, though (unless it’s too late!) – I’m not sharing these examples to shame anyone or pretend I’m somehow better than them…actually, quite the opposite because it genuinely frustrates me that they’re still living the same lives they were living ten years ago because so much of their suffering is completely unnecessary.

What’s really interesting, though, is this:

If I’d spoken to each of these people ten years ago, it would’ve been pretty obvious where they were likely to end up – not because I can predict the future but because their beliefs were already pointing towards it.

The Missing Ingredient Is Reality

This might be controversial but I honestly think every one of those people had the same missing ingredient:

Reality.

When I talk about “reality”, I’m talking about the foundation of everything I teach on this site:

Awareness, Acceptance, and Action.

In other words, working with what actually works over and over again instead of endlessly arguing with life about what we think should work because of what we ‘like’ or ‘dislike’ about it.

Perhaps the best definition of reality comes from Philip K. Dick who said that “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away“.

This is probably one of the most beautiful things about reality – it doesn’t care what we prefer, doesn’t ask for our opinion (or care about it), isn’t interested in our excuses, and doesn’t disappear because we want it to:

It simply IS.

The sooner we stop trying to bend reality around our ego and start aligning ourselves with reality instead then the more our lives begin to flow in a way that actually makes us feel truly alive and where we start getting results from life.

This is why I think one of the greatest predictors of success (whatever ‘success‘ means to you) is whether or not your beliefs are becoming more aligned with reality over time.

Real People Keep Growing More Real

One of the biggest signs that somebody is becoming more real is that they continue learning:

They don’t assume they’ve got life figured out, they don’t cling desperately to old identities, they don’t protect outdated beliefs simply because those beliefs make them feel safe – instead, they keep evolving, learning new skills, and developing the qualities they need to cultivate to become the person they know they can become in REALITY.

They change their minds, they become more flexible, they become more whole.

This is exactly why REALNESS is built upon Awareness, Acceptance, and Action:

Awareness lets us see reality by helping us to deconstruct the ego.
Acceptance stops us fighting it by learning to integrate the shadow self.
Action allows us to participate in it by trusting ourselves and life.

Together, they create growth which is diametrically opposed to unreal beliefs that do the opposite by telling us that we’re fixed in position, convince us that life should adapt to us rather than us adapting to life, encourage force instead of flow, and keep us locked in fantasy instead of feedback.

Eventually, these beliefs become prisons which is why we can see that if we don’t get real now then we’ll just be stuck ten years down the line.

Why Reality Feels So Threatening

Unfortunately there’s a catch and it goes like this:

Reality always threatens the ego.

In fact, that’s one of the easiest ways of recognising the difference between the two because reality asks us to become more whole (because reality is wholeness) whereas the ego asks us to become more fragmented and divided within ourselves over time.

Reality exposes what isn’t working whereas the ego explains why we shouldn’t have to change.

Reality invites humility whereas the ego demands certainty – this is uncomfortable (to say the least) because our unreal beliefs are usually extensions of the ego itself (i.e. they’re protective mechanisms to keep reality at bay).

This also applies to all of the stories we’ve created about ourselves, the world, and reality to stop ourselves confronting shame, guilt, and/or trauma (the Unholy Trinity) or the parts of ourselves we’ve pushed into the shadow.

Those beliefs help us avoid the Void but they also stop us moving through it and returning back to a foundation of TRUTH and our REAL lives.

The irony is painful because it means that beliefs that feel safest often create the very future we’re trying to avoid.

Four Examples of Beliefs Fighting Reality

Let’s go back to those people I callously used as examples at the start of this article – each one had a different story but underneath the individual stories was exactly the same problem:

They weren’t aligned with REALITY.

The ‘Entrepreneur’

The Entrepreneur’s biggest mistake wasn’t lacking ideas – it was in believing that business existed to get rather than to give.

He wanted customers, money, and recognition but he wasn’t obsessed with solving problems for other people and was in fact trying to use them (collectively) to solve his own problems (of trying to escape the Void and filling it with money and recognition).

He also wanted everything to be easy which is why he kept stopping and starting and jumping from one ship to another but this isn’t how it works.

Life can and does definitely FLOW when we build a sense of flow and put effort in to creating a sense of effortlessness but reality doesn’t promise ease – all it promises is FEEDBACK so you can keep learning, keep course correcting, and keep building something real instead of unreal.

The Intuitive Healer

The Intuitive Healer ultimately wanted something for nothing (one of the most common mistakes in the world in terms of going against reality) and so she believed that creating a business meant appearing online looking “authentic” and waiting for people to magically send money.

She confused visibility with value which is unfortunate because reality doesn’t reward intention – it rewards VALUE which means that if you’re genuinely helping people solve meaningful problems, and have an attitude of genuine SERVICE then you’ll probably get somewhere.

If you aren’t…well, let’s just say that no amount of tweaking your Instagram bio changes that and you’ll either have given up or be in the same place but more frustrated five years down the line.

The Lovelorn

The Lovelorn desperately wanted love but his beliefs about himself and life made genuine intimacy almost impossible:

Every conversation was another complaint about women from his past, every failed relationship became more evidence that women were broken, and his beliefs guaranteed he would keep seeing exactly what he expected to see.

Reality was trying to show him something about himself but his ego insisted everyone else was the problem and so he could never get close to anybody in a real way.

The Man Stuck in Depression

Again, I want to be careful here because depression is an incredibly complex topic and it’s never about just ‘one’ thing…

Saying that, reality still applies because reality is the one thing that applies to ALL of us (no matter what the postmodernists tell you) and so if someone continually avoids movement, numbs themselves with drugs, refuses support, rejects responsibility, and identifies completely with being a victim then…let’s just say their future probably isn’t going to look dramatically different from their present.

Reality doesn’t punish us – it simply amplifies whatever direction we’re already walking and helps you walk quicker and more effectively when you walk with it instead of against it.

The Direction Matters More Than The Destination

Again, none of this is a science – we live in a deterministic universe (apparently) but people can still surprise themselves and each other all the time because we can still make CHOICES.

Someone can wake up tomorrow and completely start to transform and change the trajectory of their whole life – I’ve seen it happen a bunch of times (and even done it myself).

The key word in all of this, though, is “CHOICE” because without making one (and your beliefs are a choice) then you’ll just keep moving in a direction you don’t want to be moving in.

On the other hand, if you make a keep making choices for the real over the unreal, then eventually you’ll wake up and discover you’ve spent ten years becoming more of whoever you already were.

That’s why beliefs matter so much – they’re not just ideas…they’re steering wheels to a either an unreal or real life.

The Hidden Chain

Of course, beliefs aren’t the whole story and all kind of things can affect your life and your future as a whole (luckily, there’s a difference between fate and destiny):

Here’s some ‘stuff’ that can ‘matter’ and affect your life and the choices you make:

Family matters.
Economics matter.
Health matters.
Luck matters.
Opportunity matters.
Social circumstances matter.
Geography matters.
Education matters.
Etc. etc. etc.

The truth is that some people genuinely start life with far greater obstacles than others and so ignoring that would be unrealistic but – all other things being equal – I’ve found this chain incredibly useful:

Our EMOTIONS shape our self-image, our SELF-IMAGE shapes our beliefs and attitudes, our BELIEFS AND ATTITUDES influence the actions we consistently take, and the ACTIONS we take influence the RESULTS we get.

This is why I spend so much time talking about shame, trauma, emotional regulation, and healing on this site – because if you only change your beliefs intellectually while your emotional foundation remains unchanged, your unconscious will usually drag you back towards familiar territory.

Real change happens from the inside out (which is why you need Awareness, Acceptance, and Action).

So…Where Are Your Beliefs Taking You?

So all of this has been leading up to this where I’d like you to sit with a question:

Don’t answer quickly and don’t answer from the point of view of who you’d like to become – just answer honestly based on where you find yourself right now.

Here we go:

If you don’t change anything…If your beliefs stay exactly as they are…If your habits remain the same…If your attitude towards reality doesn’t shift…Where will you be five years from now?

Will you still be talking about writing the book, launching that business, healing or finding a relationship, or finally getting fit?

Will you have found peace at last or will your current beliefs quietly create an even more extreme version of the life you’re already living but don’t want?

The uncomfortable truth is that, in many ways, your future is already visible – not because it’s fixed but because you’re already walking towards it.

If you want to get more in touch with reality then check out my book Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness.

Five Ways to Change Your Trajectory Now

The good news is that beliefs can change because REAL human beings are capable of choice and are designed for learning, built for adaptation, and always capable of becoming more whole.

Here are five simple practices to begin aligning yourself with reality and growing real:

1. Listen to Your Own Language

Start by paying attention to the phrases you repeat and the language you use to describe yourself and your relationship with the world and reality:

“I always…”
“I never…”
“People like me…”
“They’re all…”

Those sentences often reveal unconscious beliefs that have quietly become identities:

Question them so you can grow beyond them if you choose to.

2. Ask One Brutal Question

Instead of asking “What do I want?” all the time start asking “What does reality require of me right now?” – the answers are usually much less glamorous but they’re also much more useful.

3. Follow Feedback Instead of Fantasy

Reality constantly gives feedback which means that if something isn’t working, don’t defend your identity (ego) but learn, adjust, experiment, grow, and go deeper.

4. Stop Protecting Your Ego

Whenever you feel defensive, ask yourself:

“Is my ego protecting me or is it actually imprisoning me?”

This single question can change your life.

5. Choose Growth Over Being Right

Every time reality proves you wrong, celebrate because it means that you’ve discovered something true which is what it’s all about because all we really need to do is:

Uncover the truth.
Live the truth.

The facts are true even when your beliefs aren't.

The Final Word: Your Future Isn’t Fixed

One final thought to finish things off:

This article isn’t about predicting doom but about recognising possibility.

Yes, your current beliefs are probably pointing towards your future but that’s only because your future is built from today’s choices.

Don’t forget what we said about the power of choice:

You can CHOOSE to change your beliefs, change your relationship with reality, and change your actions anytime you like and, eventually, you’ll change your life as a result.

This is why REALNESS matters so much:

Because reality is the only place where things actually happen.

If you look honestly enough, you can probably already see the trajectory you’re on and so the only remaining question is this:

Are you ready to change it?

Stay real out there,

Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness

P.S. If you’re ready to change trajectory and grow real then book a free coaching session with me and I’ll help you build some flow.

Trust: A Manual for Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace is a book about learning to return to your realness by cultivating trust in yourself and trust in life.

It contains practical exercises and dedicated meditations (Transformational Bridges) to take you DEEP in knowing yourself and life.

This book will answer many of the questions you have growing REAL and flowing towards wholeness. It covers everything from shame to addiction to the unconscious mind and synchronicity (and way more).

Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness is a book designed to help you look at your life from the inside-out so that you can stop holding yourself back and go get what you really want.

It contains 166 practical ‘Revolutions’ for awareness and over 8,000 Self-Guidance Questions for you to uncover new insight about yourself, the world, and reality that you can translate into action and start building your real life on the realest possible foundation.

Shadow Life is an exploration of the human shadow and the hidden side of our personalities. It looks at the masks we wear, where these masks come from, and how we can take them off.

The book explores how we can better manage our relationships with shame, guilt, and trauma in order to remove the Mask that the world has asked us to wear (and that we forgot we were wearing) so we can live an authentic life with less drama, chaos, or BS whilst we’re still around.

Download EGO/SHADOW/TRUST - a free guide to transformation that will walk you through the vital stages of Awareness, Acceptance, and Action with practical strategies to implement right away.