belief

If Your ‘Confidence’ is Based On Feeling Superior It Can Always be Taken Away

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There’s a difference between REAL and unreal confidence.

REAL is about KNOWING you’re unshakeable because you’ve found a way to be ROOTED in yourself and reality and devoted yourself to some TRUTH about life that’s ‘higher’ than just your limited ideas about ‘You’.

When you’re rooted to the WHOLE in that way you understand who you are and what life is (and the connection between you and live itself) and nothing can ever take that away. Never.

It can’t be taken because it’s not DEPENDENT on anything – it’s just about acknowledging what’s already there, riding those REALITY WAVES, and trusting and believing (trust that life has your best interests at heart and belief in yourself and your ability to handle whatever happens).

This kind of real confidence, then, essentially comes from doing the INNER WORK, and cultivating UNCONDITIONAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE (see my book Shadow Life which is about this).

“Unconditional Self-Acceptance” just means that you accept yourself NO MATTER WHAT and that you commit to working with and growing through whatever life flings your way.

When you take the opposite path – i.e. the EGO PATH – then your confidence isn’t based on unconditional self-acceptance but CONDITIONAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE.

Whereas Unconditional Self-Acceptance comes from the INSIDE, Conditional Self-Acceptance comes from the outside.

Conditional Self-Acceptance (aka ‘Self-Esteem’) means that you’re feelings about yourself are DEPENDENT on the image you carry of yourself in the WORLD (even though the world isn’t real).

For most people, this shows up as feelings of ‘SUPERIORITY’ – for example, being able to see ourselves as being ‘better’ than other people in our group or surroundings because of some completely (usually) superficial and arbitrary quality or thing:

-Being the most handsome/beautiful/attractive

-Having more money/followers/likes

-Being the funniest/toughest/purest/whateverest

-Etc.

There’s nothing wrong with HEALTHY COMPETITION (Iron sharpens iron) but if you’re confidence only comes from external stuff it can NEVER last because CONDITIONS always change – somebody will always be more ‘superior’ eventually.

Step inside and stand on something REAL.

My coaching packages can help you find your real confidence.

 

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A Shout-out to All the Fake Friends, Haters, and Doubters for Making Us More Real than We Ever Imagined.

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The World isn’t reality but it can be used to TEST how REAL you are.

You might think that you’ve found something real or whole in yourself and that you’re ROOTED in a solid connection to the truth but every day something is gonna put your REALNESS to the test and see you’re fooling yourself or not.

The bottom line is that in an UNREAL world, the more real you become the more you’ll be tested – especially by UNREAL people.

Some will come with their best intentions and an ABUNDANCE mindset – in other words, they know that’s what’s good for one of us is good for us all and they’ll want you to GROW REAL and go even more deeply into yourself and your real potential.

These people are the REAL ONES too – real recognises real and so they’ll CALL YOU OUT on your own BS with love because they want you to maximise your potential and your capacity to be OPEN to life and all it has to offer.

When the real ones call you out or question you it’s precisely because they want you to GROW and because they can already envisage your next level if you just get out of your head and into the TRUTH about yourself.

We all NEED people like this in our lives – IRON SHARPENS IRON and TOUGH LOVE with good intentions can help you be more real.

Thankfully, there’s another kind of feedback we can get from the world which comes from UNREAL people – instead of wanting you to GROW, these people want to HOLD YOU BACK (because of their own EGO stuff, scarcity mindsets, and doubts about themselves PROJECTED OUT at you):

FAKE FRIENDS

-Say they want you to do well and smile on the surface of their lies but, secretly, they’re just keeping you close because they don’t believe in themselves but see something in you that they think will HELP them.

Really, they want you to FAIL, so they can keep believing their own BS and not have to TRY.

HATERS – hate themselves first and foremost and see in you what they’ve HIDDEN from themselves (in the SHADOW TERRITORY) and wish they could FREE.

DOUBTERS – Have never tried anything real because they never BELIEVED in themselves so they don’t think you should either.

THANKS and GRATITUDE to them all for showing us how to be real and keeping us in the zone.

 

Let me coach you if you wanna start pushing through and growing real.

 

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Trust and Belief Go Further than Hope.

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‘Hope’ can sometimes be a dirty word.

If you reach the stage when all you can do is start ‘hoping’ something is gonna happen then it’s already too late (probably).

In many ways ‘hope’ is EGO for two reasons:

1. It’s a completely PASSIVE state of being and puts all of the POWER to change your life outside of yourself by making you believe in the illusion of stasis (where in REALITY and nature things are ALWAYS changing).

2. You normally end up putting your ‘hope’ in things that are powerless in the face of the TRUTH anyway – other people who want to ‘sell’ you hope, UNICORNS in the form of IDOLS that you project all your powerlessness onto, or just pure BS that helps you keep believing what you need to believe to not GROW REAL.

When you reach the stage where ‘hope’ is your best option then you’ve already become unreal and that unreality has led you to become FRUSTRATED.

People ALWAYS need hope as a way of alleviating this FRUSTRATION (which is why there are so many BS artist marketeers and gurus here online trying to sell you hope instead of helping you find solutions to your problems – solutions that can only come from YOU).

When you decide that all you have left is ‘Hope’ then it just means that you’ve decided to give up on the only two REAL options in life:

1. DO something about what can be changed.

2. Accept what can’t be changed and learn from it.

There is almost ALWAYS something we can do.

If you decide to either ACT or ACCEPT then hope becomes redundant – you don’t NEED it because you’re no longer frustrated because you’re either building real MOMENTUM and unblocking yourself.

When you get in the REAL ROOTED MODE, you also understand that ‘hope’ is just the ego’s attempt to FORCE its own meaning onto the world and to act like it understands everything about reality.

When you give up HOPE, you step out of your unreal thoughts about life and realise that it’s about TRUST and BELIEF in yourself and TRUTH.

With ‘hope’ your forcing in the face of uncertainty; with trust and belief, you’re RIDING THROUGH IT on those REALITY WAVES.

With hope, you’re AVOIDING the question completely.

 

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