by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness
Stretching your ‘Trust Muscle’ will change your life…fast.
In life, momentum is everything as it brings a feeling of being truly ALIVE. Despite this, so many of us feel stuck, circling around the same fears, doubts, and inaction.
This article will show you that the difference between moving forward and staying exactly where you are -slowly – is trust (specifically: trusting yourself and trusting life).
If you trust, things change fast. If you don’t trust, they stay the same slowly.
Let’s explore why this is true and how trust can unlock a completely different way of living:
Why Lack of Trust Keeps You Stuck
When you don’t trust, you end up in one of two scenarios:
- You take no action at all: Paralysed by fear and uncertainty, you hold yourself back, waiting for the “perfect moment” or more guarantees that may never come.
- You take reactive action: Instead of making grounded, intentional moves, you act out of fear—fear of failure, rejection, or the unknown. These actions are rooted in False Evidence Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.), not truth.
Either way, you end up disconnected from your own REALNESS and reality itself. You’re either standing still while the world keeps moving or participating in life in an unreal, ineffective way (because you’re motivated by ego, more than anything true about yourself).
The result? You stay stuck, watching as opportunities pass you by and wondering why nothing ever changes and you don’t get the results you want from life.
How Trust Sets You Free
When you trust, you unlock the ability to take inspired, meaningful action because you connect to WHOLENESS instead of fragmentation. Trust allows you to step into the moment and engage with life fully.
Here’s how:
- You take intentional action: With trust, you focus on doing your best and accepting the rest. You’re not attached to the outcome in a way that creates anxiety or fear – you’re grounded, present, and able to enjoy the process because you know that what you’re doing came from a place of wholeness and is making you more whole on the way there.
- Your actions are responses, not reactions: Instead of reacting impulsively to fear or imagined threats, you respond thoughtfully to the reality of the moment. This allows you to move towards your vision with clarity and purpose and without reinforcing old patterns, narratives, and doubts (of that bloomin’ ego again).
When you trust in this way, everything changes. Your decisions have weight and impact because they’re grounded in truth, not fear. And because you’re aligned with reality, the momentum builds quickly.
Trust Moves You Forward, Fear Holds You Back
I’ve seen people spend years – even decades – stuck in the same place. They hold back, hesitate, and replay the same false stories in their minds about why they can’t move forward. The result? Nothing changes, or worse, things deteriorate over time.
But when you trust, life accelerates. You stop overthinking, stop resisting, and start acting in ways that open new doors. It doesn’t mean you’ll avoid challenges, but it does mean you’ll face them head-on and keep moving forward.
How to Build Trust and Let Go
Trust is something you’re born with but that you probably got conditioned out of (because of F.E.A.R and shame, guilt, and/or trauma) – luckily, it’s a muscle you can develop and start using again.
At its core, trust is about letting go.
Here’s how you can start building trust in yourself and your journey:
1. Let go of your past self
Stop defining yourself by what you’ve done or failed to do in the past. Every moment is a chance to step into something new.
Action: Write down one limiting belief you’re holding onto about yourself (e.g., “I’m not disciplined” or “I always fail”). Then challenge it by listing evidence of times you’ve done the opposite and TRUST this is the REAL ‘You’.
2. Let go of preconceptions about what’s ‘allowed’
So much of our hesitation comes from internalised rules about what we should or shouldn’t do. These rules rarely reflect the truth of what’s possible.
Action: Think of one bold step you’ve been afraid to take because it feels “unrealistic.” Ask yourself: “Is this truly impossible, or am I just afraid?” Commit to it and then TRUST yourself to take it no matter what.
3. Let go of anything that blocks the truth
Trust comes from alignment with truth (because the truth is the only thing we can trust, after all). Anything that pulls you away from your deeper knowing – whether it’s fear, doubt, or external noise – needs to be released.
Action: Practice daily mindfulness or meditation. Spend 5–10 minutes sitting quietly, observing the thoughts and fears that arise. Simply notice them and let them pass without judgement. Get rid of anything that distracts you and blocks your ability to TRUST yourself and life.
Fast or Slow: The Choice Is Yours
Life is always moving – whether you’re participating or not. The question is, will you move with it or stay stuck in hesitation and fear?
If you want momentum, trust is the key. It unlocks the courage to act, the clarity to respond, and the freedom to embrace life as it unfolds.
So let go of the fear. Let go of the hesitation. Step into the truth, and watch how fast things start to change.
Let go and go live.
Stay real out there,
Trust: A Manual for Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace is a book about learning to return to your realness by cultivating trust in yourself and trust in life.
It contains practical exercises and dedicated meditations (Transformational Bridges) to take you DEEP in knowing yourself and life.
This book will answer many of the questions you have growing REAL and flowing towards wholeness. It covers everything from shame to addiction to the unconscious mind and synchronicity (and way more).
Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness is a book designed to help you look at your life from the inside-out so that you can stop holding yourself back and go get what you really want.
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Shadow Life is an exploration of the human shadow and the hidden side of our personalities. It looks at the masks we wear, where these masks come from, and how we can take them off.
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The Flow Builder Journal has everything you need to make the next 21-weeks of your life a turning point.
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If you want to get unstuck and grow REAL then check it out.
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