300 self-limiting beliefs

by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness

Break Free from Self-Limiting Beliefs

We all carry beliefs about ourselves, the world, and reality that shape the way we think, feel, and act -some of these beliefs are empowering, but others can quietly hold us back:

These are known as self-limiting beliefs – thought patterns that convince us we’re not capable, not worthy, or not ready and – if left unchallenged – they can restrict our choices, dull our confidence, and keep us from living fully.

The ‘good’ news is that every belief can be challenged and made more REAL:

By shining a light on these unhelpful thoughts, we can begin to loosen their grip and this is where the power of a reframe comes in.

A reframe is simply a new perspective – a more truthful, constructive way of looking at things:

For example, instead of “I’ll never be good enough”, a reframe might be “I’m learning and improving every day” – it’s powerful because shifting the story we tell ourselves can make all the difference, opening the door to growth, resilience, and freedom.

On this page you’ll find a collection of 300 common self-limiting beliefs, each paired with a reframe designed to challenge and transform it. Whether you recognise one or many, use them as a tool to spot the thoughts that hold you back and practise seeing them in a new light. Over time, reframing can help you strengthen your trust in yourself and expand what you believe is possible.

Let’s dig a little deeper:

Table of Contents

Self-Worth & Identity

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not ‘good’ enough.
Reframe: I am enough as I am and I can always grow further and take real action.

Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t deserve success.
Reframe: I am worthy of success and capable of achieving it if I do what needs doing.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m a failure.
Reframe: Failure is feedback that helps me to improve and get closer towards my goals.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never change.
Reframe: Growth is always possible when I take one step at a time.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not talented.
Reframe: Skills can be learned with practice, patience, consistency, discipline, and focus.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m broken.
Reframe: I’m whole and challenges have only made me stronger by showing me what’s real and what’s not.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too old to start over.
Reframe: It’s never too late to create something meaningful and real.

Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t matter.
Reframe: My presence here makes a difference in ways I may not see and everybody ‘matters’ as part of the human story.

Self-Limiting Belief: I should be perfect.
Reframe: According to who? Progress and authenticity matter more than perfection because they’re more REAL.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not unique.
Reframe: My perspective and experiences are one-of-a-kind and there has never been and never will be another person like me ever again.

Self-Limiting Belief: I always mess things up.
Reframe: Mistakes help me learn and refine my approach moving forward.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too shy.
Reframe: My quiet nature can be a strength as it gives me time to reflect and process – plus, confidence can be trained like a muscle.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m weak.
Reframe: Strength shows up in persistence and resilience and in times of weakness our true strength is always revealed.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t trust myself.
Reframe: I can learn to listen to my intuition and inner wisdom and to let go and trust life instead of forcing everything myself.


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t fit in.
Reframe: Belonging comes from embracing who I am – not conforming to an unreal world just for the sake of it.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m unlovable.
Reframe: I am worthy of love exactly as I am and feeling unlovable is a reflection of my own unresolved feelings about myself – not the truth.


 Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too sensitive.
Reframe: My sensitivity is a gift that allows deep empathy and helps me to relate and connect to others in a deep way if I’m open to it.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not confident.
Reframe: Confidence grows through action and experience and I can always gain more of both of these things.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t handle rejection.
Reframe: Rejection redirects me to better opportunities and frees me up to receive what’s actually meant for me.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m always unlucky.
Reframe: I create my own luck by taking real action and I can learn to accept when things aren’t mean for me as long as I do my best and let go of the rest.

Relationships & Love

Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t deserve love.
Reframe: I am fully deserving of healthy and supportive love and I can give it to receive it (just like everybody else).

Self-Limiting Belief: All relationships end badly.
Reframe: Each relationship is unique and can thrive with trust if built on a foundation of realness over ego.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll always be alone.
Reframe: Connection is always possible when I open my heart instead of closing myself down and blocking my own path.


Self-Limiting Belief: People will always hurt me.
Reframe: Healthy boundaries protect me and attract kindness because I know that you get what you tolerate in relationships.


Self-Limiting Belief: I need to earn love.
Reframe: Real love doesn’t need to be earned – it’s given freely when I become the realest version of myself and give love to others.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t trust anyone.
Reframe: Trust grows when I choose trustworthy people instead of just giving myself to anybody.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too damaged for a relationship.
Reframe: Healing makes me capable of deep, authentic love and allows me to connect to others in the realest possible way.

Self-Limiting Belief: Love never lasts.
Reframe: Relationships don’t always last but real love lasts when nurtured with commitment and care because what’s real is always real.

Self-Limiting Belief: I always attract the wrong people.
Reframe: I can grow into the kind of person who attracts the right match by doing the inner work, facing my shadow self, and taking real action.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not attractive enough.
Reframe: True attraction comes from the energy of authenticity and presence more than physical appearance.


Self-Limiting Belief: I have to settle.
Reframe: I deserve a relationship that feels aligned and fulfilling and I only settle with another if I ‘settle’ with an unreal version of myself.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll get abandoned again.
Reframe: Not everyone leaves and I can find stability and trust by building a solid foundation of realness within myself.

Self-Limiting Belief: I must sacrifice myself for others.
Reframe: Healthy love honours both giving and receiving instead of just one or the other.


Self-Limiting Belief: Conflict means a relationship is bad.
Reframe: Conflict can lead to growth when handled with respect and an open mind and heart that keeps us committed to learning and growing more real.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t express my needs.
Reframe: My needs matter and expressing them builds stronger bonds and deeper respect.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll be betrayed again.
Reframe: Past betrayal doesn’t define future trust as long as I don’t repeat the same old patterns and choose something unreal over real.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too independent for love.
Reframe: Independence can enrich relationships when balanced with interdependence and shared vision and growth.


Self-Limiting Belief: Vulnerability is weakness.
Reframe: Vulnerability is strength and the key to intimacy as long as I take responsibility for my emotions and don’t try to force things on others that can never belong to them.

Self-Limiting Belief: Love is painful.
Reframe: Real love nurtures, uplifts, and heals which means that it threatens the ego sometimes – it’s only painful if I resist.


Self-Limiting Belief: Nobody understands me.
Reframe: When I share openly and without fear, I give others a chance to help them understand.

Career & Work

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never find my dream job.
Reframe: I can create or grow into a role that fulfils me and I don’t have to ‘find’ it when I can create it with the right plan.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not smart enough.
Reframe: Intelligence is diverse and not just about reading books or collecting intellectual knowledge.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never get promoted.
Reframe: With persistence and learning, growth is always possible, and I don’t need a ‘promotion’ to validate my worth or levels of realness.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m terrible at interviews.
Reframe: Interviews are skills I can practice and improve.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m stuck in this job forever.
Reframe: I have the power to explore new paths and opportunities any time I like and as long as I take real action I can change my trajectory.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not a leader.
Reframe: Leadership is about influence and service – not just titles.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t compete with others.
Reframe: My unique skills and personal qualities give me an advantage that nobody else has. I just need to lean in.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never be successful.
Reframe: Success comes step-by-step and I define it for myself based on my own journey.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not creative.
Reframe: Creativity is a muscle that grows when I use it (and it’s not just about painting pretty pictures or whatever).

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m terrible at networking.
Reframe: Genuine connection is more valuable than ‘networking’ just for the sake of collecting business cards.

Money & Finances

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never be wealthy.
Reframe: Wealth is a skill and mindset that I can develop over time.


Self-Limiting Belief: Money is the root of all evil.
Reframe: Money is a tool and it reflects the intentions of the person using it (plus, the actual saying says that the LOVE of money is the root of all evil – not money itself which is neutral).


Self-Limiting Belief: Rich people are greedy.
Reframe: Many wealthy people create abundance by adding value to others and creating or providing something that improves their lives.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m just not good with money.
Reframe: I can learn financial skills like anyone else, step-by-step, and with time-tested principles.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll always live pay cheque to pay cheque.
Reframe: I can build new habits to save, invest, and increase my income and worth over time.

Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t deserve financial freedom.
Reframe: I deserve to create a healthy relationship with my finances so that I can thrive and use my time and resources to make a difference.


Self-Limiting Belief: I have to work hard for every penny.
Reframe: I can work smarter not harder and create income streams and assets that bring income consistently over time.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never be able to retire comfortably.
Reframe: With planning and consistent action, my future can be secure – I just need a vision and a plan.


Self-Limiting Belief: Budgeting means depriving myself.
Reframe: Budgeting means giving every pound a purpose and creating long-term freedom over short-term convenience.

Self-Limiting Belief: If I make more money, people will resent me.
Reframe: The right people will celebrate my growth and success and I can choose to surround myself with people that share my values and aspirations.


Self-Limiting Belief: Money changes people for the worse.
Reframe: Money amplifies who I already am and I can choose generosity and being real over using money as an extension of my ego and the unhealed ‘parts’ of myself.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t save because I don’t earn enough.
Reframe: Even small savings habits grow over time and the results will keep compounding on themselves. I can also increase my earnings over time.

Self-Limiting Belief: Debt is inevitable.
Reframe: Debt is a temporary situation I can overcome with a clear plan and a real intention for whatever I have borrowed the money for.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m bad at investing.
Reframe: Investing is a skill I can learn with patience and guidance.

Self-Limiting Belief: Only lucky people get rich.
Reframe: Wealth can also be created by choices, habits, and persistence.


Self-Limiting Belief: Talking about money is rude.
Reframe: Talking openly about money empowers me and others to stay aligned with our real goals and aspirations.


Self-Limiting Belief: Financial freedom isn’t for people like me.
Reframe: Financial freedom is built through consistent action, no matter where I start, or what kind of person I might believe myself to be.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never earn more than I do now.
Reframe: My skills and creativity can always open new income opportunities as long as I know my value and what I can provide to the world.


Self-Limiting Belief: Money will make me selfish.
Reframe: Money allows me to give, create, and contribute something real at a more consistent and higher level.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t raise my rates or ask for more.
Reframe: The value I bring deserves fair and growing compensation and if I offer enough value then the right people will be prepared to pay for it.


Self-Limiting Belief: Financial abundance is unrealistic.
Reframe: Abundance begins in mindset and grows through aligned action and the removal of unnecessary emotional and mental blocks.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m cursed with bad luck in money.
Reframe: Luck favours preparation, persistence, and action and so we can always increase the probability of being more lucky than unlucky.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll always be stressed about bills.
Reframe: I can build systems to manage money calmly and clearly and I can always trust myself to be able to handle whatever happens.


Self-Limiting Belief: Money is too complicated for me.
Reframe: I can learn and master money – just like any other subject that I’ve already mastered in the past (I just need to learn the necessary skills).


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never get out of this financial hole.
Reframe: Every step I take brings me closer to financial stability as long as I stay disciplined and focused.


Self-Limiting Belief: I have to choose between happiness and money.
Reframe: I can create both joy and prosperity in my life – the two are not mutually exclusive.


Self-Limiting Belief: It’s selfish to want more money.
Reframe: Wanting more money means I can contribute more, support others, and express even more of my realness in the world.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never understand taxes.
Reframe: I can learn or seek help to make taxes simple and manageable.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t afford to invest in myself.
Reframe: Investing in myself is the smartest investment I can make as it allows me to develop skills and qualities that will last a lifetime and impact everything I do moving forward.


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t deserve wealth.
Reframe: I deserve abundance and flow and will use it responsibly as I keep growing more real.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll always be underpaid.
Reframe: I can increase my value and create opportunities where I’m appreciated.


Self-Limiting Belief: Financial success takes too long.
Reframe: Success is built over time and every step counts. Plus, there’s no rush anyway if I have an attitude of gratitude on the way there and have a clear vision and commitment to action.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m just not lucky with jobs or money.
Reframe: Opportunities come to those who prepare and show up consistently and in a real way.


Self-Limiting Belief: Money causes stress.
Reframe: Managing money wisely creates peace of mind and reduces unnecessary fear.


Self-Limiting Belief: I have to settle for less.
Reframe: I can aim higher and work towards what I truly want over time.


Self-Limiting Belief: My family has always struggled, so I will too.
Reframe: I can break generational patterns and let go of unreal Self-Limiting Beliefs that have been inherited so that I can create and live a new story.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t control my spending.
Reframe: I can practice mindful spending and build discipline.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not smart enough to handle money well.
Reframe: Financial literacy is learnable and I can get smarter with money daily.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll lose friends if I succeed financially.
Reframe: True friends will support my success because iron sharpens iron.


Self-Limiting Belief: There’s never enough to go around.
Reframe: The world is abundant and full of opportunity as long as I don’t get caught up in a scarcity mindset and block my own path.


Self-Limiting Belief: If I save, I’ll miss out on fun.
Reframe: Saving creates freedom to enjoy more fun in the long run.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t trust myself with money.
Reframe: I can build habits to trust myself more every day by doing the ‘inner work’ and becoming more grounded and present.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m destined to struggle financially.
Reframe: I’m capable of building financial security and thriving too – it all depends on where I keep my focus and the actions that I take (what you focus on grows).


Self-Limiting Belief: Only people with connections succeed financially.
Reframe: Persistence and value create opportunities –  not just connections. There are many ‘connected’ people who have not being successful because they have focused on themselves more than the value they can provide.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never be debt-free.
Reframe: Debt can be reduced and cleared with a consistent plan and discipline and focus.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never own my own home.
Reframe: With patience and strategy, home ownership is possible.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too old to build wealth.
Reframe: It’s never too late to create financial growth and to increase what I currently have.


Self-Limiting Belief: Money makes life harder.
Reframe: Money makes life easier when managed wisely and seen for what it is (just a number).


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never reach financial independence.
Reframe: Financial independence is possible with focused steps.

Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t deserve abundance.
Reframe: Abundance is just a real state – it’s not about what people ‘deserve’ or not.  I can either choose to embrace it or not.

Relationships

Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t deserve love.
Reframe: I am inherently worthy of love and connection because love and connection are my nature (when I’m being real).


Self-Limiting Belief: If people really knew me, they wouldn’t like me.
Reframe: Authenticity creates deeper and more meaningful bonds that are about being real.


Self-Limiting Belief: Love always ends in pain.
Reframe: Love can never cause pain – what causes pain is infatuation or ego-based dynamics that stop us from giving and receiving real love.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll always be abandoned.
Reframe: I can create secure connections and trust myself to handle challenges by building a strong inner foundation of realness within myself.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too damaged to be loved.
Reframe: My past doesn’t define my ability to love or be loved as long as I keep being real with myself.

Self-Limiting Belief: I need to earn people’s love.
Reframe: Real love is given freely and I don’t have to perform to deserve it.

Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t trust anyone.
Reframe: I can learn discernment and build trust with people who earn it by working to trust myself and life first and foremost.

Self-Limiting Belief: Relationships always hold me back.
Reframe: The right relationship will lift me higher and support my growth and vision.

Self-Limiting Belief: I always attract the wrong people.
Reframe: I can change my patterns by working on myself and integrating the shadow self so that I can attract healthier and more real connections.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m better off alone forever.
Reframe: Healthy independence makes me strong whereas healthy interdependence makes me whole (if I think I’m better off alone then I have some unresolved emotional ‘stuff’ that needs facing first and foremost).

Self-Limiting Belief: People always disappoint me.
Reframe: If I work on developing a real relationship with myself then I won’t rely on others to do what I can only do for myself.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too much for people.
Reframe: The right people will value my fullness and energy and encourage me to be even more of myself.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not enough for anyone.
Reframe: I am already enough as I am but I might need to work on being real enough to meet other real people on my level.

Self-Limiting Belief: Conflict ruins relationships.
Reframe: Healthy conflict can deepen understanding and strengthen bonds by helping everybody to discern the real from the unreal.


Self-Limiting Belief: I have to avoid vulnerability.
Reframe: Vulnerability builds real intimacy and trust because it reveals the solid foundation of truth on which we all stand.


Self-Limiting Belief: If I show my feelings, I’ll be rejected.
Reframe: Sharing my feelings whilst still taking responsibility for them invites closeness and connection (as opposed to asking others to take responsibility for my feelings which will likely push them away or trigger their own unresolved ‘stuff’).

Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t know how to love.
Reframe: Love is natural when I show up with presence and care and let myself just be real.


Self-Limiting Belief: Love requires losing myself.
Reframe: Healthy love means staying grounded within myself whilst also connecting so deeply that it allows me to move beyond my ego (you can’t lose anything real about yourself but exposure to something real – like love – may as you to let go of some of the unreal things about yourself).

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never find my soulmate.
Reframe: I can create meaningful love by being open and authentic and actually showing my soul to the right people.

Self-Limiting Belief: I need to ‘fix’ others to be loved.
Reframe: I can love without attempting to ‘rescue’ other and be loved for who I am.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll just get cheated on.
Reframe: I can trust my intuition and choose trustworthy partners and even if I do get cheated on I can just move on to something more real.


Self-Limiting Belief: People always take advantage of me.
Reframe: I can set clear boundaries and attract respect instead of putting people on a pedestal to try and fill a void within myself.


Self-Limiting Belief: I have to be perfect to be loved.
Reframe: Love grows from honesty which is real –  not perfection which is unreal (because no human being is perfect though many are perfectly imperfect when they’re real with themselves and others).

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m unlovable because of my past.
Reframe: My past shaped me and taught me some valuable lessons but it doesn’t erase my worth as long as I use those lessons to be more real.


Self-Limiting Belief: Nobody ever stays.
Reframe: Some connections end but others last and grow stronger if nurtured in the right way.


Self-Limiting Belief: If I depend on others, I’ll be let down.
Reframe: Healthy dependence is part of mutual trust and care and is always worth the risk (plus, you can only be let down if you don’t trust yourself to handle whatever comes your way).


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m destined to be lonely.
Reframe: Loneliness is temporary and connection is always possible if you take real action and stay aligned with your purpose.


Self-Limiting Belief: I always ruin relationships.
Reframe: I can learn healthier patterns and create thriving relationships by working on myself and doing the necessary work to keep growing real and stay on purpose.


Self-Limiting Belief: Love is for other people, not me.
Reframe: I am just as deserving of love as anyone else and this is clear when I stop projecting my unresolved emotional ‘stuff’ onto situations.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never be understood.
Reframe: When I express myself openly then others can understand me deeply (especially if I’ve done the work to be able to understand myself).


Self-Limiting Belief: Relationships are too much work.
Reframe: Effort invested in love creates joy and growth in the long-term.


Self-Limiting Belief: People will only use me.
Reframe: I can attract relationships based on mutual respect and care by realising that people can only use me if I choose to let them do so.


Self-Limiting Belief: If I let my guard down, I’ll get hurt.
Reframe: Lowering my guard allows space for genuine love as long as I have been selective about the people I get involved with.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too independent for a relationship.
Reframe: I can be independent and share my life meaningfully. The two are not mutually exclusive.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too needy.
Reframe: Having needs is human and expressing them healthily builds intimacy as long as I don’t ask people to meet needs that I can only meet myself.


Self-Limiting Belief: No one will ever prioritise me.
Reframe: I can choose relationships where I am valued and prioritised by valuing and prioritising the right person in a real way (and staying grounded in my own realness).


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t forgive people who hurt me.
Reframe: Forgiveness frees me – even if I choose not to reconcile (I can forgive but not forget).

Self-Limiting Belief: Relationships always trap me.
Reframe: The right relationships support freedom and growth and can never trap me because they serve as containers for growing more real.


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t know how to communicate.
Reframe: Communication is a skill I can learn and improve upon by working to understand myself more and to not be afraid to share it.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never be good at intimacy.
Reframe: Intimacy grows naturally when I allow myself to open up and face the truth instead of hiding from it.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m cursed in love.
Reframe: My patterns can change and love can doesn’t have to be a case of repeating the same old scripts for the rest of my life (if I choose to work on myself and get more real).


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t deserve loyalty.
Reframe: I can choose loyal people who reflect the loyalty I give and I can set and enforce boundaries if this loyalty is disrespected or broken.


Self-Limiting Belief: It’s safer not to get close to anyone.
Reframe: Real closeness enriches my life and strengthens me. It’s not safe to get close to the wrong people but it’s always safe to get close to the REAL ones.

Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t keep friends.
Reframe: Friendships grow when I nurture them with care and honesty consistently over time around a shared vision or values.


Self-Limiting Belief: People only like me for what I can give them.
Reframe: I deserve relationships where I am valued for who I am but where I can both give and receive.


Self-Limiting Belief: Love is conditional.
Reframe: True love is unconditional and grows with acceptance.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll just be betrayed.
Reframe: I can trust wisely and build strong, faithful connections where I actually trust myself and others by extension.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too flawed for anyone to want me.
Reframe: My humanity makes me relatable, lovable, and real as long as I’m real about it all with myself.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m invisible to others.
Reframe: When I express myself fully, I am seen and valued, and nothing REAL can ever truly be invisible or ignored.


Self-Limiting Belief: Relationships never last.
Reframe: Love can last when it’s nurtured with presence, effort, and shared growth into realness.

Health & Body

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never be fit because I wasn’t athletic growing up.
Reframe: Fitness is a skill anyone can build at any age through consistency, discipline, and focus. The body works according to certain principles and if you follow them you will be fit for sure (it’s basic cause and effect).


Self-Limiting Belief: My body is broken beyond repair.
Reframe: The body is resilient and can improve dramatically when given the right care and attention over time.


Self-Limiting Belief: I hate exercise.
Reframe: I just haven’t found a movement I enjoy yet – fitness can be fun and there is something out there for everybody.


Self-Limiting Belief: It’s too late for me to get in shape.
Reframe: Every day is a new chance to rebuild strength, health, and vitality and you will get results whenever you start.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll always be overweight  – it runs in my family.
Reframe: Genetics influence me but lifestyle and choices shape my outcome. All I have to do is start making different choices.


Self-Limiting Belief: Healthy food is boring and tasteless.
Reframe: Healthy meals can be delicious when I learn to season and experiment.


Self-Limiting Belief: I have no willpower to stick to a diet.
Reframe: I don’t need willpower – I need systems, habits, self-compassion, and a compelling vision for my health that carries me forward.


Self-Limiting Belief: If I miss one workout, I’ve failed.
Reframe: Progress is built over time – one slip doesn’t erase the journey as a whole.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t change my sleep patterns.
Reframe: With gradual adjustments, I can train my body into healthier rhythms.


Self-Limiting Belief: Pain means I should quit moving.
Reframe: Some pain signals adaptation and I can listen to my body and adjust, not abandon it. Pain is just a signal. Not an instruction.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never be strong.
Reframe: Strength is earned in small increments over time – every rep adds up and it’s basic physics that my body will get stronger if I keep increasing volume and intensity.


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t have time to exercise.
Reframe: Even 10–15 minutes a day makes a difference and fits into my life and is more than an hour each week.  Something is always better than nothing when it comes to fitness.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too stressed to ever relax.
Reframe: Relaxation is a skill and I can train my nervous system to calm down.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll always crave junk food.
Reframe: Cravings fade when I nourish myself properly and reset my palate and stop identifying with my old habits.


Self-Limiting Belief: Meditation doesn’t work for me.
Reframe: There are many ways to meditate – I just need to find the method that suits me.


Self-Limiting Belief: If I can’t go hard in the gym, it’s pointless.
Reframe: Gentle movement, stretching, and recovery are just as valuable when that’s what the body is telling us it needs (recovery is just as important as working out as it’s in the recover stages that the muscles actually grow).


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m doomed to feel tired all the time.
Reframe: With better rest, nutrition, and stress management, my energy can return and I can live a more real life.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll always get injured when I exercise.
Reframe: With proper technique and space for recovery, I can train safely and grow stronger.


Self-Limiting Belief: My body defines my worth.
Reframe: My basic worth is inherent and my body is a vehicle for my life, not my identity.


Self-Limiting Belief: I have no discipline to stay consistent.
Reframe: Discipline grows through small wins and consistency is built over time.


Self-Limiting Belief: Aches and stiffness are just part of ageing –  I can’t change it.
Reframe: Movement, stretching, and strength training can keep me youthful and mobile for longer.


Self-Limiting Belief: If I eat one unhealthy meal, I’ve ruined everything.
Reframe: One choice doesn’t undo progress overall and balance matters more than perfection (following the 80:20 rule is a good general principle).

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never have the body I want.
Reframe: I can improve my body and appreciate its strength without needing perfection.

Self-Limiting Belief: Detoxes and quick fixes are the only way to reset.
Reframe: Sustainable habits are the real reset because small daily choices build lifelong health over time.  What you do daily affects your whole life and future.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too anxious to sleep well.
Reframe: I can train my nervous system daily and I can create a bedtime routine to invite rest.


Self-Limiting Belief: Exercise is punishment for eating.
Reframe: Exercise is a celebration of what my body can do – not a debt I owe.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too out of shape to start.
Reframe: Starting small is exactly how I’ll build the shape I want and everybody can start somewhere (regardless of what that might currently look like).


Self-Limiting Belief: If I can’t be perfect with my diet, there’s no point.
Reframe: Consistency beats perfection and progress happens through flexibility and responsiveness (not being totally rigid with yourself and sucking all of the joy out of your life).


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never enjoy healthy habits.
Reframe: Over time, healthy habits can become enjoyable and second nature. It’s not the healthy habits that suck but letting go of your dependency on your old, unhealthy habits.

 

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never be as fit as younger people.
Reframe: Fitness is relative and I can be the fittest version of myself at any age.


Self-Limiting Belief: Stretching is a waste of time.
Reframe: Stretching keeps me mobile, reduces pain, and enhances performance.


Self-Limiting Belief: Mental health has nothing to do with physical health.
Reframe: Mind and body are connected and improving one improves the other.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never enjoy being active.
Reframe: Activity comes in many forms and I can find what sparks joy for me by experimenting and remaining open.


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t have the genetics to look good.
Reframe: Genetics set a baseline, but my choices shape how I feel and look.

Self-Limiting Belief: Skipping meals will help me lose weight.
Reframe: Fuelling my body consistently supports weight management and energy.


Self-Limiting Belief: Supplements are the key to health.
Reframe: Supplements can offer extra support but real health comes from lifestyle and nutrition.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll always struggle with poor posture.
Reframe: With awareness and strengthening, I can improve my alignment over time.


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t deserve to feel good in my body.
Reframe: Health and vitality are my birthright and I am worthy of feeling good if I treat my body with the love and respect it deserves.


Self-Limiting Belief: Rest days mean I’m being lazy.
Reframe: Rest days are part of training and they allow growth and recovery.


Self-Limiting Belief: Being skinny equals being healthy.
Reframe: Health is about strength, balance, and vitality – not size alone.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never break free from emotional eating.
Reframe: By healing the root emotions (usually the Unholy Trinity of shame, guilt, and trauma), I can form a healthier relationship with food.


Self-Limiting Belief: My metabolism is ruined forever.
Reframe: With nutrition, movement, and consistency, I can restore metabolic health.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never enjoy cooking healthy meals.
Reframe: Cooking is a skill and with practice, it can become enjoyable and an expression of my creativity.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never be flexible.
Reframe: Flexibility is built gradually and daily stretching increases flexibility over time.


Self-Limiting Belief: If I can’t afford a gym, I can’t get fit.
Reframe: I can build fitness with bodyweight exercises and creative movement anywhere I happen to find myself.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll always struggle with low energy.
Reframe: Energy can be cultivated through sleep, nutrition, mindful habits and developing a real relationship with myself instead of an unreal one (the weight of our illusions often weighs us down and creates unnecessary friction between ourselves and life that causes tension).


Self-Limiting Belief: Exercise takes too much time.
Reframe: Even short workouts compound into big results over time.

Self-Limiting Belief: Healthy living is too expensive.
Reframe: There are affordable ways to eat well, move daily, and prioritise health.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never recover from burnout.
Reframe: With rest, boundaries, and renewal, my body and mind can heal.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too far gone to make progress.
Reframe: It’s never too late  – every small action moves me toward healing and strength.

Social Life & Acceptance

Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t fit in.
Reframe: I bring a unique value when I’m tapped into my realness and the right people will appreciate me for who I am.

Self-Limiting Belief: People don’t want me around.
Reframe: I am worthy of connection and there are people who enjoy my presence when I value my own realness (as opposed to my ego).

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too awkward.
Reframe: My authenticity is endearing and being myself makes connection easier.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m boring.
Reframe: I have my own interests and stories and the right people will find them engaging.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll say the wrong thing.
Reframe: Conversations don’t have to be perfect and honesty creates genuine connection that leads to lasting relationships.


Self-Limiting Belief: People are judging me.
Reframe: Most people are focused on themselves, not judging me and those who do don’t define my worth because their judgements are just a reflection of their own emotional ‘stuff’ and their relationships with themselves.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t make friends easily.
Reframe: Friendship is a skill I can nurture by showing up authentically and finding and cultivating a real purpose for my life (the best friendships are about something purposeful – not just random interactions between people).


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m invisible in groups.
Reframe: My presence matters and I can contribute in my own way with people one-on-one.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not fun enough.
Reframe: I don’t need to perform and my real energy is enough to attract the right people.


Self-Limiting Belief: People don’t take me seriously.
Reframe: When I speak with confidence and clarity and take myself seriously then people listen to me and respect me.


Self-Limiting Belief: Nobody really understands me.
Reframe: The more I open up and learn about myself, the more likely I am to find people who truly understand me because I’ll be more capable of expressing something real.


Self-Limiting Belief: I have to please everyone to be liked.
Reframe: The right people like me for who I am, not for how much I ‘please’ them.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not charismatic.
Reframe: Charisma grows naturally when I’m present, authentic, and engaged in alignment with my realness.

Self-Limiting Belief: People secretly dislike me.
Reframe: I can’t control everyone’s opinion and many people genuinely appreciate me so I will focus on that instead.  It’s impossible to please everybody so why try?


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too shy.
Reframe: My quiet nature can be grounding and magnetic and I can still connect meaningfully with people in a real way.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too loud.
Reframe: My energy and enthusiasm can uplift others when expressed with awareness and a sense of relevance.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll always be an outsider.
Reframe: I can find communities where I belong and thrive. I just haven’t found this yet but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.


Self-Limiting Belief: People only tolerate me.
Reframe: I am more than tolerated – I am valued and appreciated by the right people.  Maybe some people tolerate me but this doesn’t mean everybody does.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not worthy of attention.
Reframe: I am deserving of being seen, heard, and valued when I’m doing something real.


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t belong.
Reframe: I belong wherever I choose to bring my authentic self and to show up in a real way.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too different.
Reframe: My differences make me unique and can be my greatest strength if I own them instead of shrinking away from myself and hiding.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not funny enough.
Reframe: I don’t have to be funny to be loved – my presence and authenticity are enough in themselves.


Self-Limiting Belief: People think I’m weird.
Reframe: Being different makes me memorable, relatable, and interesting to the right people.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never be popular.
Reframe: Popularity isn’t the goal and genuine, meaningful connections matter most.


Self-Limiting Belief: People only pretend to like me.
Reframe: Many people truly value me and I can focus on authentic relationships without worrying about being ‘liked’ by people that I’m not even that bothered about.

Time & Productivity

Self-Limiting Belief: I never have enough time.
Reframe: I can prioritise what matters most and create time for what’s important because we all have the same 24hrs in a day.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m always behind.
Reframe: I can move at my own pace and still make progress.


Self-Limiting Belief: I procrastinate too much.
Reframe: I can start small and build momentum step-by-step until I get in a real flow with things.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m lazy.
Reframe: I’m not lazy – I just need purpose and energy to act which means that I need to uncover a real vision and get excited about it so that I’m energised.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never be organised.
Reframe: Organisation is a skill I can learn and improve over time (just like all the other skills I already successfully learned in life).

Self-Limiting Belief: I waste time constantly.
Reframe: I can choose to use my time more intentionally from now on.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t focus.
Reframe: Focus is a muscle I can strengthen with practice, structure, and understanding of the real vision for myself and my life that I want to focus on.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never catch up.
Reframe: I can reset my priorities and start fresh whenever I choose.  Even right now.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t finish what I start.
Reframe: I am capable of following through when I break tasks into small steps and take the action that needs to be taken.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too distracted.
Reframe: I can create boundaries and systems that support focus and growth over distraction and stagnation.


Self-Limiting Belief: There’s no point starting; I’ll quit anyway.
Reframe: Every new attempt teaches me something valuable and builds resilience as I become the person I want to become.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m always late.
Reframe: I can develop habits that help me be on time and dependable.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t stick to routines.
Reframe: I can create flexible routines that support my lifestyle.


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t have the discipline.
Reframe: Discipline grows as I practice small consistent actions and train myself over time to be more focused and committed to my vision.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not productive enough.
Reframe: Productivity is about quality, not just quantity – I can work smarter, not harder by focusing on the 20% of tasks that get me 80% of the results.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll always be behind others.
Reframe: Everyone has their own timeline and I’m exactly where I need to be.

Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t prioritise.
Reframe: I can learn to identify what matters most and focus on it first.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never manage my time well.
Reframe: Time management is a skill I can improve with practice.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m naturally disorganised.
Reframe: Organisation is a habit I can build – not a fixed trait.  I can change the way I identify with certain traits whenever I like.

Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t be consistent.
Reframe: Consistency grows when I focus on small, sustainable steps over time.


Self-Limiting Belief: I waste opportunities.
Reframe: I can notice and act on opportunities that align with me by knowing my true values and my vision for my life.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never achieve my goals.
Reframe: I can take steady action toward my goals and celebrate progress along the way.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too slow.
Reframe: Slow progress is still progress and consistency matters more than speed.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not focused enough to succeed.
Reframe: Focus improves as I practice mindfulness and intentional ways of working.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t change my habits.
Reframe: Habits can be changed with repetition, patience, and self-compassion.

Spirituality & Meaning

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m disconnected from God.
Reframe: I can reconnect through intention, openness, and daily habits and rituals.


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t deserve flow.
Reframe: Flow is available to everyone and I am no exception.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never find my purpose.
Reframe: Purpose unfolds as I live, grow, and follow my curiosity and keep raising Awareness and Acceptance of what’s real (so I can take real Action).


Self-Limiting Belief: Life is meaningless.
Reframe: I can create meaning through love, service, and growth transformed into purpose (meaning is a by-product of purpose – not something just ‘out there’).


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m cursed.
Reframe: I am not cursed and challenges are opportunities for growth.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never be enlightened.
Reframe: Enlightenment is a journey, not a destination and every step counts.



Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not spiritual enough.
Reframe: Spirituality looks different for everyone and my path is valid as long as it’s aligned with what I know is real.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t trust life.
Reframe: Life has rhythms and patterns I can trust as I align with them and see myself getting actual results.


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t deserve peace.
Reframe: Peace is my birthright and I am worthy of calm and balance.


Self-Limiting Belief: God doesn’t care about me.
Reframe: I am deeply cared for and supported – even if I don’t always see it.

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m being punished.
Reframe: Life’s challenges are not punishments but invitations to grow more real (sometimes life shakes us to see if there’s anything REAL that remains).


Self-Limiting Belief: The universe is against me.
Reframe: The universe is neutral and I can align with its flow to make life easier for myself.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never feel whole.
Reframe: Wholeness is already within me and I just need to recognise it and stop blocking it with ego and self-limiting beliefs.


Self-Limiting Belief: My soul is flawed.
Reframe: My soul is inherently whole and good (but my ego might make my relationship with it seem fragmented and shame-driven).

Self-Limiting Belief: I’m beyond redemption.
Reframe: Redemption is always possible and growth and forgiveness are always available.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never find inner peace.
Reframe: Inner peace is cultivated through mindfulness and self-compassion.


Self-Limiting Belief: Meditation doesn’t work for me.
Reframe: There are many paths to peace and I can find practices that resonate with me.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not worthy of miracles.
Reframe: Miracles are simply shifts in perspective from unreal to real and I am worthy of them.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t trust my intuition.
Reframe: My intuition grows stronger the more I listen to it, trust it, and take real action.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m spiritually empty.
Reframe: I am capable of deep spiritual connection because I’m a real human being.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll always feel lost.
Reframe: Feeling lost is part of the journey and clarity always follows if I trust and keep moving forward.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m separate from everything.
Reframe: I am deeply interconnected with life and others but sometimes I project my own inner fragmentation out into the world around me.


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t belong in the world.
Reframe: I belong here and my presence adds value to the world through my purpose.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never feel connected.
Reframe: Connection is always available because it’s the natural state of things and I can open my heart to receive it and align with it (but first I must become connected to myself at the level of my REALNESS).


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t deserve forgiveness.
Reframe: Forgiveness is a gift available to me and I am worthy of it.

Growth & Potential

Self-Limiting Belief: People can’t change.
Reframe: People are always capable of growth and transformation because it’s human nature.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t change.
Reframe: I am capable of change at any time I choose (I just have to let go of ego).


Self-Limiting Belief: It’s too late for me.
Reframe: It’s never too late and I can begin to grow real again right now.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never reach my potential.
Reframe: My potential expands as I grow and I am already on the path.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m stuck where I am.
Reframe: I have the power to take steps forward, no matter how small they might be. Progress is still progress.


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t deserve to grow.
Reframe: Growth is my nature and I’m worthy of expansion and fulfilment.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll always self-sabotage.
Reframe: I can replace old patterns with healthier choices one step at a time and by learning to be real over unreal.


Self-Limiting Belief: My circumstances control me.
Reframe: I can influence my circumstances by changing my mindset and actions.

Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t handle growth.
Reframe: I am strong enough to handle the changes that come with growth and to let go of anything unreal so I can become more real.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not capable of more.
Reframe: I am capable of far more than I realise when I stay open to the truth over the perceived limitations of my ego.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never achieve my dreams.
Reframe: I can take consistent steps that lead me toward my dreams and make them a reality by taking real action.


Self-Limiting Belief: Change is too hard.
Reframe: Change is challenging, but I can break it into manageable steps. Not changing is even harder because it brings friction, frustration, and misery.


Self-Limiting Belief: People like me can’t succeed.
Reframe: Success is possible for anyone who persists and stays real – including me. “People like me” is an unnecessary limit on my own growth.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m destined to be average.
Reframe: I am capable of extraordinary things in my own unique way and there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with being average anyway. Nothing real can be average, though, so keep growing real.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never break free.
Reframe: I can break free by taking one empowered step at a time.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m powerless to change.
Reframe: I always have the power to choose differently and to find a stronger foundation on which to build my life.


Self-Limiting Belief: I don’t deserve a better life.
Reframe: I am worthy of joy, abundance, and a fulfilling life when I stop beating myself up and judging myself (because of unresolved emotional ‘stuff’).


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll fail if I try to grow.
Reframe: Even setbacks are growth and I learn and become stronger with every attempt that I make..


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t handle success.
Reframe: I am capable of sustaining success by staying grounded, intentional, and taking real action.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m too scared to change.
Reframe: Courage grows when I take small steps forward despite F.E.A.R (“False Evidence Appearing Real”).


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not disciplined enough.
Reframe: Discipline is built through small, consistent choices that strengthen my resolve over time.


Self-Limiting Belief: My dreams are unrealistic.
Reframe: My dreams are a compass pointing me toward what matters most (my real values and intentions).


Self-Limiting Belief: I’ll never rise above my past.
Reframe: My past informs me, but it doesn’t define me and I can still create my future.


Self-Limiting Belief: I can’t create my future.
Reframe: I have the power to shape my future with today’s actions and acceptance of what can’t be changed about myself, the world, and reality.


Self-Limiting Belief: I’m not capable of transformation.
Reframe: Transformation is always possible and I am capable of profound change (book a call with me if you don’t believe it).

Stay real out there,

Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness

P.S. If you’re ready to overcome you’re self-limiting beliefs and change your life then book a free call with me and I’ll help you free yourself from yourself. Guaranteed.


A REAL conversation can change your life...

I coach my clients around all of the issues and ideas that you've read about on this site:

Book a free coaching call with me below to talk about whatever is relevant in your life and how to move forward in a real way.

I guarantee that at the end of our conversation you'll have more clarity about your next steps and will be ready and excited to take real action.

Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness

Awareness (Deconstruct Ego), Acceptance (Integrate Shadow), Action (Trust) Quiz

This quick quiz will help you figure out where you are in your own journey to realness and what moves to make next - if you're 'stuck' or figuring out the next level then give it a shot (no email signup required for answers):

Why Am I Stuck in Life? Ego/Shadow/Trust Quiz

(This quiz is based on the free EGO/SHADOW/TRUST guide to transformation).

Books: Go DEEPER and Grow REAL

Trust: A Manual for Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace is a book about learning to return to your realness by cultivating trust in yourself and trust in life.

It contains practical exercises and dedicated meditations (Transformational Bridges) to take you DEEP in knowing yourself and life.

This book will answer many of the questions you have growing REAL and flowing towards wholeness. It covers everything from shame to addiction to the unconscious mind and synchronicity (and way more).

Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness

Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness is a book designed to help you look at your life from the inside-out so that you can stop holding yourself back and go get what you really want. 

It contains 166 practical ‘Revolutions’ for awareness and over 8,000 Self-Guidance Questions for you to uncover new insight about yourself, the world, and reality that you can translate into action and start building your real life on the realest possible foundation.

Shadow Life is an exploration of the human shadow and the hidden side of our personalities. It looks at the masks we wear, where these masks come from, and how we can take them off.

The book explores how we can better manage our relationships with shame, guilt, and trauma in order to remove the Mask that the world has asked us to wear (and that we forgot we were wearing) so we can live an authentic life with less drama, chaos, or BS whilst we’re still around.

The Flow Builder Journal has everything you need to make the next 21-weeks of your life a turning point.

It has monthly, weekly, and daily (morning and evening) check-ins, tools and reflections to keep you in the zone and keep you flowing with zest and momentum.

If you want to get unstuck and grow REAL then check it out.


7-Day Personality Transplant System Shock (for REALNESS & Life Purpose)


Download EGO/SHADOW/TRUST - a free guide to transformation that will walk you through the vital stages of Awareness, Acceptance, and Action with practical strategies to implement right away.

Join the 7-Day Bare Ass Minimum (BAM) Challenge and start to implement foundational health habits and a powerful life vision only a week from now.

A REAL conversation can change your life...

Book a free 'virtual coffee' with me below to talk about anything you've read on this site and how to move forward in life in a real way.

Hi, I'm Oli Anderson - a Transformational Coach for REALNESS and author who helps people to tap into their REALNESS by increasing Awareness of their real values and intentions, to Accept themselves and reality, and to take inspired ACTION that will change their lives forever and help them find purpose. Click here to read my story about how I died, lost it all, and then found reality.

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