by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness
“As within, so without” 👇
We don’t see the world as it IS, but as we ARE and so if you want your life to be REAL then you need to work on cultivating a real INNER STATE.
There’s so much bullshit out there about what we need to do to improve our lives and start getting better results but – by asking us to only focus on rearranging things outside of ourselves – this kind of thing only holds us back from our REALNESS.
In general, this BS falls into two categories:
1. The BS strategies we come up with ourselves when we hand our lives over to the EGO.
This is ‘stuff’ like people-pleasing, chasing other people’s goals instead of our own, etc.
2. The BS from gurus/internet marketeers etc. that tell us to FORCE the outside world to meet our needs intsead of starting with our own needs first by working on our INNER STATE.
A lot of this BS focuses on the law of attraction and all kinds of techniques and esoteric things you can DO to shape your world.
Actually, all you need to do in ANY CASE is work on the inner stuff and then allow the rets to fall into place.
Are you ready to unleash the warrior within you and start living an incredibly full life every day?
Our guest on today’s episode of Creative Status, Martin Salama, is the architect of the Warriors Life Code, a set of principles and practices designed to help you achieve your goals and live your best life.
During our conversation, Martin shares his journey towards discovering the power of the law of attraction and how it has transformed his life. He also clears up some common misconceptions about the law of attraction, such as the idea that it’s simply about positive or even wishful thinking or that it works magically without any effort.
Martin believes in taking action and making conscious choices to bring your desires into reality. That’s why he created the Warriors Life Code, which combines the principles of the law of attraction with practical strategies for personal growth and success.
Whether you’re struggling to achieve your goals, feeling stuck in your life, or simply looking for inspiration, this powerful conversation can help you tap into your inner warrior and start living your best life. Martin shares some powerful insights and strategies that you can apply in your own life, from setting clear intentions to taking inspired action and embracing the power of gratitude.
Tune in to learn how to start getting more clarity, more momentum, and how to live incredibly full every day without the nonsense!
Listen on any podcast player or use the embedded player above!
All episodes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6UG491sXbZv6fUKIMVrIT6
(Scroll down for show transcript)
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Episode Links:
All Martin’s links: connectwithmartin.com
Creative Status Links:
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Free one hour creative workshop to take you brand or project to the next level.
My Law of Attraction for Realness mini-course
Show Transcript: The Law of Attraction without the Nonsense
Intro
Oli Anderson: Oh hi there, Oli Anderson here, you’re listening to Creative Status. This is a podcast about improving your life with creativity.
Basically, taking the assumption that the creative process is a vehicle for allowing you to allow your real self to emerge so you can have a better relationship with yourself and then a better relationship with life by extension. If you don’t know, I am a performance coach. I help people to basically improve their lives and their businesses by helping them to make them more real, more authentic, more genuine.
My name is Oli Anderson if you didn’t know that. Every episode of this podcast, Creative Status, is an interview and today is no different. We are listening to an interview between me and a guy called Martin Salama.
He’s another life coach and he has a methodology basically that I use to help people become more aligned with themselves, more aware of themselves and to have a better attitude that will get them the results that they want. The main focus of this interview is the law of attraction and a lot of the misconceptions and bullshit basically that’s out there.
There’s a lot of marketing gimmicks and nonsense and people trying to sell the dream to people who are maybe desperate and have reached the end of their tether. But don’t realize that actually the law of attraction is a very simple thing. It’s just about aligning yourself with reality, keeping the faith, living in the end and moving forward and taking inspired action and the obvious next steps to where you need to be and all of those things will always reveal themselves if they let them.
Personally, in my own life I was quite cynical about the law of attraction for a long time. It seemed too good to be true and also I suppose I bought into or I was resisting a lot of the panacea type solutions that are sold out there around the law of attraction. But when I look back in my life I realized every so often I would get so desperate that I had no choice but to basically use the law of attraction and that’s when things would actually start working out.
So then I started taking a more conscious approach to doing this, trying to do it in a real way which for me is just about moving towards wholeness, not letting my ego get in the way. And I realized that there’s a process I’m always talking about, awareness, acceptance and action.
It actually aligns with the process that you need to go through in order to be able to use the law of attraction effectively. So awareness for me is really just deconstructing your ego, stepping back from the identity you might have picked up, the points of view you picked up that are blocking reality and not aligning you in the way that you need to be aligned.
The next step is acceptance, which just means accepting yourself unconditionally but you can only do that if you integrate the shadow side of yourself that has been hidden beneath the ego, the mask that you are wearing. And then finally is action or in the case of law of attraction, manifesting and making things happen.
If you skip straight to the action stage without doing the inner work then you’re just going to end up worrying all the time, you’re going to be stressed, your inner state is not going to be conducive to getting where you want to be. And so you need the awareness and the acceptance, the ego deconstruction and the integration of shadow before you can start doing all this stuff.
So anyway that’s just my little rumination about that. The interview itself is really insightful if you’re into this kind of thing. We take a very kind of logical approach to just breaking down some of the misconceptions, seeing where people might be holding themselves back, seeing where maybe people are expecting too much, which is always an ego thing that just forcing things and you don’t want to force anything if you’re living in this way that we’re talking about.
So anyway, I’m going to stop talking because this is a long intro but Martin, thank you so much for coming on here and being interviewed about this stuff. Everybody else, I hope you really enjoy listening and I’ll see you again next Monday for another episode of Creative Status.
Alright, peace.
Interview
Oli Anderson:Â Oh hi there Martin, thank you for joining me today on Creative Status. Previously when we spoke to him we got quite a few details about exploring the law of attraction. I think that’s what we’re mainly going to be focusing on today but before we start diving into all that and picking it to pieces, would you like to introduce yourself and tell people what you do, what you stand for and how you ended up where you are right now doing the things that you’re doing?
Martin Salama: Well, hi Oli, thank you so much. I’m excited to be here with you today. So I’m known as the architect of the Warriors Life Code and life for me stands for live incredibly full every day. And I’d like to say that I was like that my whole life but that’s not true. And it goes back to when I was a child and I had a traumatic event happen to me, a tragedy at a young age.
When I was 10 years old, I was the one of six, I had four older sisters and a younger brother who was five years younger than me, his name was Michael. And when I was 10 years old he was killed in a school bus accident. And it was the most tragic day in my life and till this day it’s still been the most tragic day. As it was for my family, my mom, my dad, we were destroyed. And as a 10 year old, I told myself that it’s my job now to carry on the legacy of the name.
I’m the only one left with the salam name and that is my job. So at that moment I could look back now, basically almost 50 years ago I just turned 60, that at that moment I became a people please. And with that came a lot of other things as well. It’s bad enough being a people pleaser But also I took things personally. I was a control freak and I had a very short temper So and that’s the way I was for the next 40 years I mean, I didn’t always blow up.
I wasn’t always an angry person or stuff like that But it was my job I felt like when I was in a situation where I was trying to make everybody happy that it was for me to do and I would Rationalize that it’s you know, if it’s against what I was believing or something that it was okay because it was for the greater good and 40 years later.
I looked back then that 10 years ago and I realized that Rationalize was not a good thing to be doing and I came up with this this idea That and I’ve trained market that rationalize is really two words Rational lies that you lie to yourself that it’s rational to do things Even though, you know deep down inside it goes against what you’re feeling Maybe it’s your ego.
Maybe you’re trying to please others which I was trying to do all the time So and I was like that for the next 40 years with this whole idea of being a people pleaser And it took me 50 years till I was around 50 to finally realize there was a people pleaser pleasing no one That was not good Yeah, could you get where I’m coming from with that?
Oli Anderson: Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? So you ultimately spend your whole life kind of hiding from yourself behind this kind of this learned pattern of people pleasing and ironically it didn’t it wasn’t pleasing you it wasn’t pleasing other people like you just said because people don’t actually have any respect for people pleases and it’s never real so you can’t really develop authentic relationships and stuff like that – so how did you wake up like what happened to kind of snap you out of that learned pattern of people pleasing?
Martin Salam: So let’s let’s move forward to about almost 40 years later. It was about 35 40 about 35 years later it was 2008 and My wife and I were working on a project for five years to build a multimillion dollars Tennis Club and Health Center in New Jersey by what’s known as the Jersey Shore, and it took us five years to get all of the approvals from the city from the state you know get everything done find the location everything that you need to do from start to finish Finally in the summer of 2008 we got the last things we needed the approvals from the city and the state and we go to the banks we’re like, okay, great, you know, you’ve been lending money like crazy the last few years you told us to come back when we’re ready.
We’re ready. They are well We’re not lending right now things aren’t what they used to be I said, but I put in three and a half million dollars already Well, sorry can’t help you a month later September 2008 the financial world falls apart thanks to Bernie Madoff and the sub-friam loan And we all know what happened there, you know, well, I don’t people lost a lot of money I was one of them overnight.
I was wiped out financially to the point that I stopped paying my mortgage I stopped paying my car payments and all that and one day my son says dad the cars being towed away I was being repossessed and soon after that the house was still closed on in New Jersey It took a little while for us to lose the house, but we still lost the house eventually htat’s where I was in my life. It was a terrible time And it took me about a year to get off the you know, pick myself off the off the floor from that in the depression I was in and say, okay, what am I gonna do now and I thought about it decided I didn’t want to be A businessman anymore. It was just too volatile for my whole life so I looked around I realized I was most happy when I was helping people in community organizations.
I was always a leader. I was always that guy who said people would come and say well, I can’t do much I can help I go come in and help I’ll show you and I show them their potential as How they what they’re doing so little means so much And I realized what I was doing was I was a life coach Without even realizing that that’s what I was doing so I decided I’m gonna start pursuing the idea of going to life coach training well, as I was about to go there a couple months before it was my 24th wedding anniversary and my wife said to me, “I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. I wanted divorce”.
Well, I was like, oh my god, I can’t catch a break and I kind of knew it was coming but until it actually happened You never believe it and all of those people please are those taking things personally those lack of self-esteem Word came bubbling to the surface. I was like, what am I gonna do now?
I decided I’m still gonna go forward with the live coaching and I think God was you know tugging on my shoulder with saying hey, buddy. There’s a lot of stuff going wrong. Okay, maybe you got a look at yourself Yeah, and that first week in coach training. They said you don’t have to live with who you think you are you can change I’m like really I can and that’s when I started to understand that I wasn’t happy with who I was Because of the things like being a people pleaser, which then led to the other things.
Oli: Yeah. Yeah. Wow That’s quite an amazing story. So ultimately You went from having it all Which you managed to attain ultimately like you talking about your tennis club and everything you got all that stuff Despite the the people pleaser tendency is holding you back But in a way all of that was kind of it was just a house of cards.
It was unreal Because the people pleaser version of you wasn’t actually built on a solid foundation It’s just something that your ego created so that you could kind of survive You know, whatever it was that you’ve been through in the past So all the stuff you said about you know, your brother unfortunately passing away and that kind of thing and so when everything was Taken away when the rug was swept from underneath your feet.
I’m throwing out a lot of metaphors here but anyway, when the rug was swept from underneath your feet You were just left with you versus yourself basically right you hit rock bottom so your money was going by the sound of it your wife left you and it was just you and life itself as opposed and in that moment that’s when you had something true finally creeping to show you like the actual truth about yourself and who you could be if you wanted to be that sounds very dramatic maybe but it’s so true?
Martin Salama: You hit it that your head on the nose right there on the head the nail on the head as it were what happened was when I was going into coach training they handed us a list of books they said read a few of these books before you start it’ll help you prepare And one of them was a book by a gentleman named don Miguel Ruiz It was called the Four Agreements. Have you ever heard of it?
Oli: Yeah, I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never read it. It’s come up a lot
Martin: Well for me that book was a life-changer specifically the second agreement which is don’t take anything personally Mm-hmm, and at that moment when I read that I was like what you mean? I don’t have to have the world on my shoulders.
It’s not all up to me and it was like somebody had told me a secret that I had known my entire life people have been telling me my entire life But until that moment I wasn’t ready to hear it hmm Because you know what when the student is ready the master will appear.
Oli: So earlier at the start of the conversation you said, you know so after your brother passed away you kind of created this mission for yourself that you had to kind of carry on the family name and that you know You were basically going to leave a legacy around that name something like that so would you do you think that your attachment to that mission caused a lot of these problems that you’re talking about the people pleasing and trying to get certain results ETC ETC and actually the attachment to that kind of made it harder to actually achieve that and so now that you’ve been through this process that you’re talking about I’ve kind of not taking things personally and loosening up you’re more likely to achieve that in the way that you want to.
Martin: Yes, absolutely. No question it did to the point that Even when I was thinking I was succeeding I was afraid I wasn’t succeeding enough Yeah, yeah, yeah failure and the fear of fear of success was always there.
Oli: Yeah. Yeah, because you were putting so much pressure on yourself to… you were invested in the outcome basically and now right you’ve stepped away from outcomes you’re outcome-independent which just means that your self-worth your feelings about yourself are not affected by what’s going on. That means you can go out there, “do your best and forget the rest” and by doing that and having this attitude that you’re now talking about you’re more likely to be happier obviously.
But also to get the results that you want anyway because you’re not adding that unnecessary mental friction and stress that kind of distorts our vision of life anyway.
Martin: Exactly, and you know while I was starting this journey one of the things I said to myself was I’m gonna take care of myself Mm-hmm as long as I’m not hurting somebody else in the process. I come first It’s like that saying when you’re on the airplane and they tell you put the mask on you first before you put it on to people around you.
Oli: Mm-hmm It’s the whole thing isn’t you can’t pull from an empty cup so you need to yeah, you fill yourself first then you got more to offer the world more to give other people so you’ve described this process that you’ve been through so ultimately you in your in your youth you picked up a certain idea of who you were supposed to be you became very attached to that and actually kind of left you with a sort of void which a lot of people have because of these kind of patterns that we all have to some extent You eventually hit rock bottom a rock bottom you actually found yourself and you were able to rebuild your life by the sound of it in a way that you know tou’re very happy with now. You’re very satisfied with yourself, you’ve got a better relationship with who you are and your emotional stuff and all that kind of thing…
So where does the law of attraction come into your I suppose rise back to the top if we want to phrase it like that ?
Martin: So First thing is I want to make it clear to everybody in the audience you don’t have to wait until you hit rock bottom to look at yourself and say I need to change, for me it happened that way, but it’s not that way for everybody.
It’s just are you happy where you are in your life? And if not, it’s okay to question why and it’s okay to go further So I just want to clarify that before I go further. So I had heard of the law of attraction in you know the mid 2007 2008 like that, And I thought I understood what it was about, you know…
You asked the universe for what you want and all the things around you will start happening in that way and looking back now, One of the things I was saying during those few years was I don’t want to get divorced So what the what the universe was hearing was divorce, which is what ended up happening.
Maybe if I would have said I want to stay married and do the work towards that who knows but looking back now knowing who I am now and on unwrapping unmasking myself and learning about myself It was when my wife asked me for the divorce I can look back now and say other than our four children. It was the greatest gift she ever gave me because it gave me the ability to look within myself and say, okay What do I need to change and it’s not about changing for her for the children or for anybody else who do I need to become so that I can be happy with myself and Going through coaching I realized we were in a co-dependent relationship for 25 years We were both the victims and the culprits of the fall of the marriage. That makes sense?
Oli: I was just gonna say what you’re saying about the law of attraction there then is In relation to your marriage like you were focusing on what you don’t want Well, actually the law of attraction is just focusing on what you’re thinking, isn’t that’s the that’s how it seems to work so if you’re just thinking “I don’t want to get divorced. I don’t want to get divorced. I don’t want to get divorced.”, well your focus on that is actually gonna cause you to act in a way that sort of manifests that to happen.
Martin: Right but I believe that’s just the foundation the law of attraction Love attraction is a foundation and there’s more to it You know I wasn’t doing the work to make sure that my marriage wouldn’t survive even though we thought we were ,aybe we both weren’t doing work and that’s two people involved there.
So that’s another thing But it definitely didn’t help okay, so now as I was going through coaching and I started to understand and become more self-aware I switched myself for being self-conscious to self-aware and there’s a big difference between the two Self-conscious is a state of guilt. It’s an outward thing where you’re trying to you know prove to yourself to others You’re trying to you know prove your ego and all that Self-aware is all within yourself.
It’s a positive state of mind and it has to have like a Motion within yourself that everything is okay. Mmm. That makes sense. Yeah, 100 % Yeah, so as I was doing this I started reading books and understanding that it’s about me continuing to learn and continuing to grow and I worked with somebody on this and You know, she gave me a lot of the ideas in her books and I actually got to work with her name is Genevieve Davis and It’s it’s really a lot around her and then I’ve expanded it in my own way as well So she says and this is where my cycle of A comes in and this I’m gonna put it in my way now So for me the cycle of A’s is three letter A’s the first one is ask Ask the universe for what you want Just like I was saying I don’t want to divorce the universe her divorce So if you put in there, I want to make a million dollars Right, do you think you’re gonna wake up the next morning and a million dollars is gonna be next to your bed? No No, it’s not gonna work that way But if you set yourself on a goal, that’s the first step So then you have to do the second day which is act you’ve got to start doing the work For you to be able to have what you want Okay, for example, it’s you know say okay, I want a million dollars. How am I gonna get it?
What are the steps? I’m gonna do to make that happen and put them into action And it’s not just about writing them down. You’ve got to do some of these things in action Yeah, so that’s the second a and then the third a brings it all together and when you’re working them all together in harmony you put yourself into a professional emotion Which is why I call it a cycle of A’s because you’re always within the cycle But this is the most difficult to attain and that is attitude You have to have an attitude of detached emotion from the outcome Wow very difficult to do that.
Oli: Yeah this is It’s really interesting and really important that you’ve got the outcome independence in there and one thing that I think is a Huge misconception around the law of attraction is the second stage in the cycle You just said that action thing and I think actually Something I’ve been really thought about that much before but I was just thinking about when you’re talking is that People can approach everything in life in those those two ways that you just shared right so they can either be self-conscious Or they’re self-aware self-conscious is where they they’ve been inauthentic for whatever reason usually they’ve got some underlying emotional stuff I always say that it’s just shame guilt and trauma or a cocktail of the three and when they have that underlying emotional stuff They’re constantly trying to hide from it.
So they’re just they direct everything outwards like you said so they’re looking for external validation all the time or their outcome dependent instead of independent ETC ETC The other way to look at life and to approach life is what you were saying about being self-aware, which means I think Learning to accept ourselves unconditionally and constantly moving towards an evolution of ourselves so the problem with the law of attraction a lot of the time is that people they think Because they’re approaching it from the first of those two points of view have been self-conscious and therefore externalizing everything They think that they don’t have to do anything because normally I Found when I’m coaching people and stuff like that if people are very much in an ego driven shame driven self-conscious place They are resistant to taking action and so this causes a lot of those kind of people to be attracted to this kind of bullshit pardon my fringe Version of the law of attraction and then the bullshit version is where it tells people right all you need to do is Is kind of close your eyes and you know stick your finger in your belly button or something and Just think about what you want and they skip out the action part and they skip out the attitude part and It becomes a kind of Snake oil salesmanship or something like that and that’s why I think a lot of the people miss understand the law of attraction Because there’s so much marketing crap out there That is just aimed at kind of people that are Avoiding of action or they’re resistant of themselves because of the ego stuff What do you what do you think about that? That’s exactly right? It’s not like the Wizard of Oz you can’t click you here three times and say there’s no place like home Yeah, I mean nice. It would be nice if it was like that But it’s right.
It would be fantastic. Hey, look, I need to lose 30 pounds tomorrow wake up 30 pounds lighter Why do you think? So many people have a misconception around the law of attraction and think that it is like that and then you know They waste their time You know trying to manifest things straight away and kind of getting upset when it doesn’t happen.
Martin:  The first thing is is that they don’t want to put in the work. They don’t want to do what’s necessary to get what they want or what they desire because to me want and desire different things And we can talk touch on that in a minute, but more importantly they’re so beaten down within themselves that they think that nothing could ever happen that they’re already Had in that mindset of lack that will hold the back so they go, okay. I asked what it didn’t happen, you know it’s all a bunch of Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oli: So what what are the main misconceptions that you’ve seen people have around the law of attraction?
Martin: Well, the main one is is that if If if they start doing this law of attraction the right way and one thing’s happened when something happens they go, oh, it’s a coincidence. Yeah. Yeah instead of saying no, this is the magic happening And i’m doing something That’s making that happen. So let me figure that out Or just the opposite they start asking and acting And it’s not working and they go, oh, you see it’s not working That’s because The universe is sending you a message that you’re not on the right path And that you need to make a course correction And that’s where the attitude part is so important.
Oli: Wow. Like what you just said about the cost correction is super interesting to me. So the way that I look at life in general is kind of like I just shared a few minutes ago.
So people are either filtering everything through their ego in order to hide from their own emotional stuff, or they’re dissolving their shame and all of the underlying emotional things that they’ve got going on by taking action that’s going to allow them to become more real and to continuously evolve.
And actually, if you look at life through those two ways, in both cases, you’ll have some kind of an idea about what your future is going to look like. And because of what’s going on inside of you, it’ll either be real or unreal as well. So if you’re on this path of growing real and evolving and ETC, ETC, you’re more likely to be choosing goals that are real as well.
If you’re unreal, that’s just the language I use, if you’re unreal caught up in your ego, then you’re going to choose goals that are actually a way of running away from yourself, even though you might not know that. So for example, maybe you have a lot of underlying shame, you feel like you’re not good enough, are your people please there and all that kind of stuff we were talking about earlier, you will choose goals that actually an attempt to fill the void within you so that you feel like you can please people. But actually, that’s just exacerbating the problem it’s making everything with.
With the law of attraction, the same logic applies, I think. So people might think, right, today, I want to manifest a million dollars, whatever it is, so that I can finally feel good about myself. I can fill this void within me and mummy and daddy will love me and whatever it is, all these emotional problems people have. But actually, because that’s not real in the first place, it’s probably not going to come true.
And so there is an element of things will only work out in this law of attraction will only work if you do that inner work first of finding out what goals are actually real for you and what is authentic and true to life itself or your relationship with life.
Martin: Well said, Oli. Well said. And that’s where this whole third part comes in. Because if your attitude, if your mindset is, I’m not worth it, then that’s what you’re sending out there.
And that’s what the universe and God or whatever else is hearing. Well, you’re not worth it because you’re inauthentic. You talked about unreal, in genuine inauthentic, same idea.
Right? So if you change that mindset to say, I’m open for everything to come to me. And if it doesn’t, it’s because it’s the universe telling me, I’m not exactly on the path I’m supposed to be on.
Oli:Â Yeah. Yeah. It’s like we’re constantly getting feedback from life. And so actually a big element of this, and using this kind of mindset you’re talking about successfully is learning to listen to life. Does that is that something that comes into your philosophy as a whole?
Martin: Absolutely. It is because you’ve got to see the signs around you and look for the opportunities. And that’s another part. It’s how you see the world. If you see the world as difficult and problematic, all you’ll see are problems. If you see the world as good and opportunistic, you’ll see the opportunities.
So when they’re coming up, you’ve got to say, oh, wait a minute, here’s an opportunity that I could, you know, grasp, I can take hold of and then decide how does it serve me? And how does it serve anybody around me as well in a positive way?
Oli: Do you think there’s a kind of emotional feedback as well? So at the most fundamental level, it’s about listening to ourselves. I’m always throwing this quote around, we don’t see the world as it is, but as we are.
So that’s kind of what you just said that right. So the thing that distorts our perceptions of the world is our attitude, like you said in your cycle of is, but it’s a deeper level, our ability to listen to what’s going on inside of ourselves. And so you could say, I think at the most basic, basic, basic level, there are only two emotions, you either feel good, or you feel bad. And in general, the things that make you feel bad, the consequence of having the unreal attitude that we’re talking about, where we’re constantly trying to escape life for whatever reason, some of the emotional stuff inside of it.
And the things that make us feel good are the things that allow us to work through those emotions and to actually value ourselves as we really should be valued when we’ve been real, because we’re all valuable in reality, I think.
And so in order to get better results from life itself and from using the law of attraction or whatever people want to call it, the first thing we can do is to start working on our ability to listen to our emotional feedback that we give ourselves, something like that.
Martin: That’s right. That’s right. Exactly. And you know, the quote that you said, the world is as we see it, that whole thing.
Its origin comes from the Talmud, the Jewish Talmud. So, and it talks about is that whoever you are, what’s going on around you is based on your perception. So if you pursued the things as, you know, who cares who the president of the United States is, is it really having a daily effect on your life?
Probably not. No, but you’re gonna allow it to have it effect on you whether it’s Donald Trump or Joe Biden or whoever So it’s about you Getting rid of all of the the static around you so that you could focus on it and here again It’s about focusing without letting the emotions because every time you let those emotions of I’ve got to have it It’s that much further away from you.
It’s like you’re always here. I wasn’t looking for a wife, but all of a sudden what appeared?
Oli: Yeah, like the thing you said just there about you know all the noise in our lives Like that’s something that I’ve been really focusing on in my own life recently I’ve been calling it like a psychic diet just cutting out all of this unnecessary Negative noise that surrounds us.
There’s so many distractions everywhere that can you know You can just get caught up in these loops and cycles and spirals I’ve just getting bothered about things like you said that really don’t matter to you all.
Like there’s the thing with Trump play they call it trumped arrangements syndrome or something Some people they just see a picture of Trump on Twitter or something and that’s it for the next three hours their life has been ruined it goes to say, you know the other side as well with Joe Biden and people see something about how I don’t know he’s done whatever he’s done and they’ll get worked up.
Bbut actually none of that stuff matters and it’s just giving us things to think about that we don’t want it’s just adding tension And it’s weighing us down from moving forward in that that kind of real way Yosh talking about.
Martin: Exactly right yeah.
Oli: Would you say there are kind of lifestyle changes that people can make to I suppose get better results from the law of attraction in general?
Martin: Absolutely, and you know that’s a lot of where my course comes in in my book And I just came out with a card deck.
So these are some of the things it’s about waking up every morning and setting your intentions correctly: “Today’s gonna be a great day”.
I Write down things three things at least every morning that I’m grateful for And three things at night before I go to bed that I was grateful for that day and I set my intention right there for the rest of the day and then I use my own mantra which is “I live Incredibly full every day” – now everybody should find their own mantra if you want to use mine, great, but whatever it is that sets you ready for the day.
Oli: Actually this is a really interesting direction to go maybe like what is a kind of a typical day, let’s say for somebody who is you know really living in this way that you’re talking about and making the most of themselves and the law of attraction.
So you’ve already said they wake up, you know, they do some gratitude work How would the day continue from there?
What do you think?
Martin: By you looking that everything that’s going around you as opportunities Well, or Times to make somebody smile to make yourself smile for example one of my things is I love to make somebody laugh every day So I’ll be in the supermarket and you know waiting online going to the to the cash register or something like that And I’ll make the cashier laugh and when she laughs or he laughs and they say well, thank you My wife I said you just love my quota. I made someone laugh today.
Oli: Wow. Yeah So what you’re doing there, you kind of, you’re just keeping yourself in the right Energetic state if we want to say that like you you’re keeping yourself very buoyant so you start the day you’ve got intention so you know what direction you’re moving in.
Okay, great But then you’re making yourself remember the things you’re grateful for so obviously that’s going to raise your emotional Feelings from bad to good if you were feeling bad and then as you go about interacting with people you’re making them laugh, which is one of the most real authentic interactions you can have with someone so right is that ultimately what is that ultimately what it’s about just managing our energy if we want to call it that in that way.
Martin: Yeah Yeah, yeah, and listen what comes into there is something else I talked about that I had a very short temper, right?
So it used to be something would come my way that was negative or not what I was looking for and I would immediately go into panic mode and and troubleshooting mode and I’ve got to fix this and I’ve got to make it work that wasn’t working the way I thought it would be working because I’m the control freak.
I would get to the point where I would explode like a nuclear reactor because nobody’s listening to me. Nobody’s doing… Now when things are coming up that aren’t the way I would like them to be I’ve learned to respond instead of react and that’s another part of my course go learning how to do that.
And I’d love to say it happened overnight, but again, it didn’t.
Martin: You’re only a human though Yeah, it’s building that that muscle memory for your brain for your emotion.
Oli: Ultimately what we’re talking about is the the attitude thing right so all all your sharing now is this idea that if you’ve got the right attitude you can reframe the way you see life so that you’re not missing out on what’s there ultimately right so by learning to respond instead of react and training yourself to do that you’re not missing out on the opportunities that are always there.
Is that really one of the things that is going to make the law of attraction work – this idea that there’s all this opportunity and it’s all out there and we can move towards it by taking action obviously but the thing that causes us to miss out a lot of the time is just our mental ‘stuff’ the blocks that we put in our own path vecause of the the way that we think?
Martin: Yes, and it’s it’s dismissing the coincidences. I was saying I was just a coincidence or it’s a one-off Instead of saying, you know what this is because of the work. I’m doing on myself Where will it take me if I allow it to? Because one coincidence if you knock it off, you’re okay two or three it starts to add up if you allow it to add up.
Oli: Yeah, it’s evidence eventually you can’t ignore it. Do you think part of the day, this kind of average day for the person who’s living in this way, part of the process as well is kind of what you were saying, sort of, about learning not to try and control everything? Because I think that’s a really important step in this journey.
Yes. Is that, you know, if you’re, you know, one of these self-conscious control freaks, there are a lot of people in the world are because of their emotional stuff. What you’ll do is, okay, you read all this self-help stuff and you say to yourself, right, I’m going to become the kind of person who’s always taking action. I’ve got a plan in place and I’m going to stick to this plan rigidly. I know that I want a million dollars or whatever it is that you’ve set as a goal for yourself.
And I’m going to do XYZ to get it. But actually, life doesn’t work like that, right? We can’t control everything. We can’t always take the steps that we think we’re going to take.
There’s too many things popping up and happening. And so actually, a lot of the time, a better approach I’ve found, whether you think you’re using the law of attraction or not, is that you know what you want and you have a loose idea of how you might get it. But actually, really, it’s not up to you how things unfold.
You just know that you’re going to keep moving in a certain direction and responding to life as it happens.
Martin: That’s right. That’s right. And that’s where you have the right attitude.
Oli: Do you think the gratitude thing is a shortcut to a lot of this stuff?
Martin: Do I think it’s I’m sorry, can you clarify that?
Oli: So the gratitude thing, is that something that, you know, if people were if people were just going to focus on one thing to try and improve their ability to use the law of attraction effectively, would working on gratitude be something that would open up all of these other areas we’re talking about?
Martin: Yes, absolutely. I missed the word you said. So yes, absolutely. What happens is when you put on that attitude of gratitude, and you eliminate the complaining by changing yourself from complaining to appreciating gratitude.
Now, you’re not looking for the reasons for things not to happen and to blame somebody else.
Right? You’re in that mindset of saying, whatever is happening here is for a reason. And let me be grateful for them to happen.
Okay. In almost any situation, you can do that. Even if you’re God forbid in a car accident, you could say, I could have died.
I’m grateful that I didn’t die. It’s a hard one. It’s very difficult. But let’s bring it back to an easier level.
If you walk around with that mindset of gratitude, and you walk into a supermarket, you do your things, and even if you just say, thank you, or you let somebody go ahead of you when you’re driving because they’re trying to inch in, you’re being kind, you’re putting out the right energy as we talked about earlier, and it’ll come back to you. And a friend of mine wrote a book. It’s called the Chesed Boomerang.
It’s a Jewish book, and Chesed means kindness. And when you put out kindness, it boomerangs back to you.
Oli:Â A big theme that’s come up on this podcast in quite a lot of these conversations is that if you can be kind of real with yourself in the way we were talking about, and you do this inner work, and you can get to a place where your emotional stuff isn’t holding you back, then you can give more to the world.
And if you can give more, that’s when things actually start working out, because you receive what you give in a strange, paradoxical way. But most people, because they have an unreal attitude, they’re too busy thinking about, you know, what can I get from people in order to feel that I’m filling this void inside myself that’s there because I’ve been unreal in the first place.
Martin: Right. On a very basic level, if you put out negativity and a bad attitude, and you don’t give to others, right, or you’re nasty to somebody, if every action has an equal and opposite reaction, so they’re going to be nasty right back to you. It’s quite simple. On a very basic level.
Oli: Yeah, like it’s very basic. Like when you break it down into all these different parts that we’ve kind of been exploring in this conversation, like the law of attraction is actually just a very simple thing. It’s just that if you have a certain attitude, then you’re going to see things in a certain way.
And that’s going to affect the way that you behave basically, and that’s going to affect what you get back from life. And it’s not like there’s a lot of stuff out there that makes it seem way more mystical than is. And I but actually it’s just very, it’s just basic.
What we’re talking about really is just been a very basic real human being who’s not hiding from life, I guess, and the way that things work.
Martin: Right, exactly right. And it’s, it becomes a positive snowball effect.
Oli: Because you’re making good choices. Ultimately, that is what it’s about. It’s about making choices that are an extension of the real version of you and not the unreal, self conscious people pleasing ETC version that, you know, we talked about earlier.
What do you think are some of the biggest changes? I know you’ve talked about the lifestyle changes a little bit, but what are the biggest changes that people can make to their attitude to start getting better results in this way that we’re talking about?
If you’re just going to sum that up, yeah, so it starts with gratitude and positive thinking and that abundance and looking for opportunities. It’s super amazing, super simple. What would you say to somebody who said, you know, the law of attraction is just, you know, BS, it doesn’t work.
It’s just a marketing gimmick or something like that. What would you say to those kind of people?
Martin: I would say, you know what? You’re right because you don’t want to believe in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically, we get what we want, whether we know it or not.
Oli: Right. There’s a thing, isn’t it? The law of attraction is working whether you know it, whether you know that you’re using it or not.
It’s just because it’s so basic, like we were saying, it’s whatever you have in your life now is a product of the way you’ve been thinking in the past.
And so, somebody who doesn’t believe in it, well, of course, if they don’t believe in it, then they’re not going to see the evidence of things working out. And probably, you know, I’m generalizing a lot here, but most people who haven’t used this to their advantage will be stuck in the mindset of the self-conscious kind of person we were talking about, who’s holding back from life, is judging themselves too much, has all kinds of inner criticism and so on and so forth.
And so, life becomes an extension of that way of thinking, and of course, they’re not going to think that the law of attraction is an actual thing.
Martin: That’s right.
Oli: Thank you. How does your, you know, the other acronym you shared right at the start of the conversation come into this? So, you said you’ve got the life architect’s warrior code.
I’m sorry if I said that wrong. But how does all that feed into this as well, just to understand your work with him?
Martin:Â So, what happened was, I was going through these changes in my life, and at one point, I looked at myself and I wasn’t happy where I was, and I realized because I wasn’t working on myself in the right way, even though I was a life coach.
I wasn’t allowing myself to be coached. So, I changed things around. I started working out. I started eating better. I started letting myself be coached. I started reading better. And I lost about 65 pounds along the way, but I also got to that self-awareness state. And one day, I’m ADHD. So, imagine a guy ADHD trying to do a 10-minute guided meditation.
Well, it’s not easy for me. But in one of these sessions, I had this download of information that I loved everything that was going on in my life, and I wanted to share it with others. So, after I finished meditating, I wrote for two hours, and out of it came, I want to show people how they can live their best life. And I came up with the acronym, Live Incredibly Full Every Day. And for me, that’s what I strive to do every day.
Live Incredibly Full Every Day.
Oli: Wow. So, it sounds like that program or the work you do in that area is around foundational mental and physical health habits. Is that right?
Martin: Yes.
Oli: Wow, so it’s all, it all feeds into everything, doesn’t it? So, if you do exercise, like you’re saying, and you meditate, and all these healthy things that people can do, then you’re going to be more likely to accept yourself and who you really are.
And then you’re more likely, after that, to believe in a way that’s going to allow you to see the world in a way that’s kind of open and abundant and there’s opportunities everywhere. And you’ve got the energy to go out there and interact with people and make them laugh and have a good time and be grateful for everything. It’s all simple and it’s all very effective. And it’s amazing to live in that way, if you can.
A lot of my work is kind of similar to what it is, but it works because it’s real. That’s what I think.
Martin: Right, exactly. What happens here, and this is a great way to encompass what we’re talking about the cyclomase, you’re in that cycle of A’s, you’re in that perpetual emotion. The cycle of A’s, which then leads you to go further and further and further because you keep pushing yourself, because you see the results happening and you’re getting into the mindset of as long as I do the work and I don’t get attached to the outcome, things will continue to develop in a positive way.
Oli: Wow, I think that sums it all up very well, like you said, we’ve basically reached our 45 minute deadline, but if you were going to sum all this stuff up, like obviously we jumped around a little bit, that’s my tendency, but I think we really did dig into the law of attraction, how it works, some misconceptions people have.
Have you got any final words of wisdom, and would you like to tell people where they can find you and learn more about your work and things as well?
Martin: My final words of wisdom first would be, have an attitude of gratitude and don’t take anything personally, and then you can find me by going very simply to connectwithmartin.com. On there you can get free gifts, like a coloring book for you or kids, they’re separate, one for kids, one for adults, on an abundant mindset, the warrior mindset.
You can find out more about the cycle of A’s, you could buy my card deck and have that as well, and my book is about to come out, so you can go there and pre-order it and get the first few chapters.
I have it all in one set, one thing, just click around, look, and there’s even a button for you to click and make an appointment to speak with me.
Oli: Brilliant, so I’ll share that in the show notes. What is the card deck again? It sounds really interesting, just a quick version.
Martin: The card deck is called the Warrior to Warrior Card Deck, and what it does, it takes my full course and gives you little snippets about what it’s about, just to get an understanding of what you can go.
Who knows, it might help somebody just that, just having those cards to say, oh, the cycle of A’s, let me remember what they were about, or so on and so forth, the different things, self-conscious versus self-aware, rationalized, those are cards that are in my deck. Wow, so that sounds really helpful, especially given all the stuff we’ve been talking about.
It’s a good way to remember some of these concepts, which really do work, I’ve experienced it in my life.
Oli:Â Martin, thank you so much for coming on here and sharing all this amazing stuff, and maybe get you on again in the future sometime, but either way, thank you for coming on, honestly, I really appreciate it.
Martin: It’s my pleasure, thank you, Oli, for your time. Thank you.