by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness
Unreal or Chronic Negative Thoughts Always Mean It’s Time To Get More REAL
Here’s a potential shocker for you:
Most of the thoughts that run through your head on any given day are completely unreal.
Though they might seem like they have something to offer, most of them are just the mental static of old programming, echoes of past shame, guilt, and/or trauma and fear that block you from taking the real action that would actually help you grow.
If you’ve ever been paralysed by an intrusive thought, you’ll know how convincing they can feel but here’s the truth that can start to set you free:
Thoughts are not facts.
If you identify with every single one that pops up, you’ll soon find yourself derailed, stuck in friction, frustration, and then eventual misery because you’ve stopped living in alignment with reality.
The ‘good’ news is that unreal thoughts dissolve when you act in a REAL way:
This is because by taking real action, you gather evidence that they’re not true and so – over time – this evidence rewires your brain, calms your body, and strengthens your trust in life.
That’s what realness is all about:
Stepping out of illusion and associated negative thoughts so we can step into truth and wholeness.
This article will show you how to eliminate unreal and intrusive thoughts from your life by covering three levels you can work on – mind, body, and vision – with practical steps for each. The more you combine them, the faster you’ll see change.
Let’s dig a little deeper:
How to Work with Unreal and Intrusive Thoughts: What We’ll Cover In This Article
- Unreal or Chronic Negative Thoughts Always Mean It’s Time To Get More REAL
- Why Unreal & Intrusive Thoughts Take Hold
- Level One: Working with the Mind
- Level Two: Working with the Body
- Level Three: Working with Vision
- Bringing It All Together
- Unreal and Intrusive Thoughts Final Word: Evidence is Everything
Why Unreal & Intrusive Thoughts Take Hold
First, let’s understand what’s happening and why you’re dealing with these kind of unreal and intrusive thoughts in the first place.
They usually arise for two basic reasons:
- Old programming: Your brain is trying to protect you from past pain – shame, guilt, or trauma (the Unholy Trinity) and it thinks “If I scare you enough, you won’t risk being hurt again.”
Unfortunately, this protection mechanism stops you from living fully and just causes you to hold back and hesitate instead of acting on your realness. - Blocked emotions: Emotions are “e-motion, energy in motion” and just need to move to dissolve and be integrated. Unfortunately, when they’re repressed, they stagnate and then the mind creates thoughts to justify why you’re avoiding feeling them (this is the EGO).
When you work directly with both of these – by creating distance from thoughts and by moving with and through emotions – then the unreal loses its grip and you can become free.
When you add the final magic ingredient of a clear vision for realness to move towards, then you have a practical framework for dissolving intrusive thoughts naturally and effectively.
Let’s look at these three levels – mind, body, and vision – in more detail:
Level One: Working with the Mind
At the level of the mind, the key is pretty straight-forward (though it will take EFFORT to train yourself to do this):
Stop identifying with every thought.
When you see thoughts as passing mental events rather than commands, they lose their sting and this frees you to stay focused on your real life and what you want to do with it.
Practical tools:
- Thought log: Use the free one on my site or make your own. What this basically entails is writing down intrusive thoughts as they arise and then whether they’re real (based on evidence and aligned with your vision) or unreal (fear, assumption, projection). Over time, this builds awareness and strengthens your ability to discern the real from unreal.
You can download the free one (and watch a video about using it) here: Hamster Wheel Thought Log - Mindfulness and meditation: Practise stepping into the role of the observer by watching thoughts arise, linger, and pass. The more you train this muscle, the less you’ll get caught in identification. A five-minute daily sit is a great start.
- Test assumptions: Journaling is powerful here. For each recurring thought or trigger that you notice in yourself, ask: “Is this true? What evidence do I actually have? What emotion is fuelling it?” Often, you’ll discover that the thought is just a reflection of an old emotional trigger rather than present reality.
Check out this article about learning from your triggers: Trigger Work: A Step-by-Step Guide to Using Emotional Pain for Growth
Level Two: Working with the Body
Unreal thoughts don’t only live in the head – they’re also deeply tied to the nervous system:
When your body is stuck in fight-or-flight mode, you’ll interpret almost everything as a threat and then your brain creates thoughts to match that state.
By regulating your body and letting emotions move, you train yourself to respond from reality instead of from fear and to ensure that you’re thinking from a place of safety instead of threat.
Practical tools:
- Daily body scans: Pause once or twice a day then close your eyes and slowly move your attention through your body, noticing sensations without judgement. This builds somatic awareness, which helps you separate “emotional discomfort” from “actual danger” and show up with more presence and safety in your life.
- Nervous system regulation: Simple practices like breathwork (ujjayi breathing through the nose), yin yoga, or mindful walks in nature activate the parasympathetic nervous system (which is known as the “rest and digest” mode – the opposite of fight-or-flight). This calms intrusive thought patterns at their root.
- Face negative emotions: When you’re regulated, gently allow difficult emotions to be felt which means naming them, noticing where they live in your body, and then letting them pass through. The more you practise, the less you’ll resist them which is really powerful because resistance is what fuels intrusive thoughts and keeps them going whereas acceptance dissolves them.
Level Three: Working with Vision
Even with all the mind and body tools, you still need a direction to move in which is why you need a real vision pulls you forward. Without it, your focus will drift back to whatever intrusive thought is shouting loudest and you’ll just end up being ‘stuck’ in the same old patterns.
When you know where you’re going and keep moving towards it then you create hard evidence that unreal thoughts are lies.
What this means in a practical sense is that when you learn to act despite them then, over time, they lose their grip on you.
Practical tools:
- Clarify your values: Ask yourself: “What really matters to me, beyond what the world tells me should matter?” Write these values down and then translate them into action. If one of your values is honesty, for example, how would your daily choices look if you embodied it fully?
This article can help you go deeper into your values: Unlocking Your Core Values: A Guide to Living Your REAL Life - Listen to the shadow self: Often, unreal thoughts are the ego’s way of blocking something real that’s trying to emerge from the hidden parts of yourself (a.k.a the shadow). Acting on this real ‘stuff’ will remove a lot of the negative and intrusive thoughts because you will be more integrated. To get started, ask yourself: “What part of me am I suppressing? What truth wants to be expressed?” The more you act on this, the less need the ego has to create distractions.
- Take action daily: Unreal thoughts usually thrive in inaction but action dissolves them. This means a good strategy is to create simple goals and habits that reflect your vision because every step you take in alignment with reality builds trust in yourself and so, eventually, action itself becomes your antidote to intrusive thoughts.
Bringing It All Together
Here’s the formula:
- Mind: Catch the thought, step back from it, and question it to discern unreal from real (then switch focus to that real ‘stuff’).
- Body: Notice the underlying emotion and then regulate yourself and feel it instead of hiding from it.
- Vision: Redirect your energy towards real action and gather evidence that the thought is unreal.
Repeat this loop daily.
It might not be glamorous but it’s transformational and, over time, the unreal loses its stickiness – instead of being hijacked by thoughts, you’ll find yourself grounded, calm, and free to live in realness.
Check out my book Trust: A Manual in Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace if you want to trust yourself and life deeply and remove unreal and intrusive thoughts from your life.
Unreal and Intrusive Thoughts Final Word: Evidence is Everything
Remember this and you’ll be fine:
You don’t need to fight unreal thoughts – you just need to stop feeding them.
Every time you act in a real way – stepping back from identifying with every thought , grounded in your body, and focused on your vision – you prove those unreal and intrusive thoughts wrong, the evidence stacks up, and fear loses its power over you.
It’s a bit like shining a torch in a dark room where the shadows don’t need to be fought and simply vanish in the presence of light.
Next time an intrusive thought shows up, don’t panic:
Catch it, breathe, and ask yourself: What’s the next real action I can take right now?
Then go do it.
Stay real out there,
P.S If you’re serious about freeing yourself from unreal and intrusive thoughts then book a free coaching session with me and I’ll help you make real progress. Guaranteed.
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