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Too Much Analysing of the Self Kills Awareness of the Self, The World, and Reality.

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Too much of ANYTHING is usually a ‘bad’ idea…This is particularly true when it comes to the approach we can take to figuring our ‘stuff’ out and the lack of balance we can sometimes bring to this process.

Though an important part of the journey of growing real is about asking questions and testing our assumptions about ourselves so that we can push through our limiting beliefs (etc), if we get ADDICTED to the thrill of chasing insight we just end up getting in our own way.

When this happens, we become even more STUCK because we TRICK ourselves into THINKING that we’re doing the work required but actually we’re just being SELF-INDULGENT.

As we’ve said, growing real is about walking a path of three parts:

1. AWARENESS – gaining INSIGHT that will show us the gap between ourselves and reality.

2. ACCEPTANCE – removing our JUDGEMENT about whatever it was that caused us to put a gap between ourselves and reality in the first place.

3. ACTION – doing whatever it takes to close that gap by UNBLOCKING ourselves and taking action.

Sometimes, when people set out on this journey they become so addicted to seeking out ‘awareness’ that they stop moving:

-Every little emotion that pops up is analysed for days and treated as being more significant or interesting than it actually is.

-Every little thought is treated with some kind of gravitas when it’s just a passing thing.

-Every problem from the past that is remembered is mythologised and made to be some seminal moment to fit in with the EGO’s narrative (that it created to avoid growing).

-Every new obstacle that arises is linked in a chain of storytelling to connect it to other obstacles to show how difficult life can be.

-New books and ideas are taken on board to support the analysis and strengthen the case against change.

This kind of ANALYSIS ADDICTION is just a TRAP that we fall into when we filter our whole journey through the EGO.

It’s not about analysing anything REAL but about rearranging the furniture on the TITANIC of the ego as it tries not to sink.

When you fall in this trap you get stuck in ‘Awareness’ but actually you’re not aware of anything REAL – you’re just adding complexity to EGO.

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Stop Underestimating Yourself and Overestimating Others.

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Comparisons are odious (that’s how the old saying goes, anyway).

If you compare your behind-the-scenes footage of your own ‘stuff’ to somebody else’s highlight reel then you’re gonna have a BAD time.

In fact, you might not even have a ‘bad’ time because you probably won’t even get started – you’ll just kinda be…stuck.

A lot of you never get going because you’re too busy COMPARING your own perceived weaknesses to the strengths of other people.

Or you COMPARE the results that somebody else has got after years and years of working away at it with wherever you happen to be right now.

You compare superficialities like how good looking somebody is or how charming or how well they can speak or whatever else…

NONE OF THAT STUFF MATTERS, THOUGH.

That’s just your ego trying to keep you where you are so you don’t STRETCH yourself and start growing REAL again.

The TRUTH is that to get stuff ‘DONE’ you only need to follow a simple two-step process:

1. BELIEVE it can be done.

2. Do the WORK to get it done.

Yeah, there’s a few more things that take place somewhere in between – like TRUSTING and BELIEVING and allowing what needs to happen to happen as you take each step – but that’s the gist of it.

The main difference between ‘You’ and whoever you might be comparing yourself to is that they’re NOT comparing themselves to anybody.

The TRUTH is that you can’t compare anyway – we’re all on our own paths, we all have our own cocktail of strengths and weaknesses, we all have our own crosses to bear.

Comparisons are just a form of RESISTANCE – like we said, it’s your EGO’s way of trying to find reasons not to get started because if you do then the odds are you’ll succeed and so your ego will get a software update (which it can’t stand as that means learning and integrating our ‘stuff’ along the way).

Gain some PERSPECTIVE and see things CLEARLY.

If other people have found a way to do it, then there’s no reason why you can’t too – the only EXCUSES are the one’s you tell yourself when you’re trying to believe that other people are ‘special’ and you’re not.

If you do the work you’ll get there; if you don’t, you won’t.

Know your VALUE and share it.

Let me coach you and I can help you get where you know you can be.

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Life Rewards You Based On Your Attitude Towards It.

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Life is for the LIVING.

If you want REAL life to give you everything it has to offer then you need to get your mind right and that starts with your ATTITUDE.

People say that “life is unfair” but that’s not quite true….

Life is the great equaliser because it’s available to all of us if we do the work required to ALIGN ourselves with it and do what is ASKED of us.

It begins to seem “unfair” when we resist the CALL of life and answer the call of ‘The World’ instead .

As we’ve said a million times, though:

“THE WORLD IS NOT REALITY” – it’ just a bunch of ideas and assumptions based on our fears about LIFE.

Real life is FAIR because it’s available to everybody – all you have to do is shake yourself out of your slumber and to start BELIEVING in reality and not the world or any of its BS.

When you make the ‘shift’ like this you can start to have an attitude towards life that is creative and LIFE-ENHANCING, not destructive and LIFE-DISMISSING.

A LIFE-ENHANCING attitude DEEPENS your relationship with life:

-You believe in possibility.

-You KNOW that things will always work out.

-You are open to allowing yourself to HAVE the things that life has to offer.

-You believe in yourself as PART of life and that makes you more WHOLE.

-You believe in ACTION and flux because you know that life moves.

-You don’t complain, make excuses, or fail to appreciate the gifts like has already given you.

A LIFE-DISMISSING attitude takes you out of life:

-You only believe in more problems, not possibility.

-You look for reasons why life will let you down again.

-You come up with reasons why there’s something special about ‘You’ that means you can’t HAVE what millions before you have had.

-You think that life is something separate from whatever it is that ‘You’ are.

-You don’t take ACTION because you resist changing yourself (even though you’re unhappy with yourself as you’ve denied LIFE).

-You actively look for new things to complain about or make excuses for so that you can get sympathy and play the victim (because you confuse attention for love).

In short, if you act like LIFE, you get more life; if you deny life, then life denies you.

Life only rewards ITSELF.

 

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Action Kills Fear. Bullshit Makes it Worse.

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The more time you spend away from reality, the greater your FEAR of returning to it.

The TRUTH is that you know deep down when you’re being UNREAL – even if you hide behind layers of masks and BS.

The REAL you is ALWAYS calling to you beneath the surface of yourself and will show up in all kinds of CREATIVE and DESTRUCTIVE ways to get your attention and bring you back home:

-Maybe it’ll call you through the whispered sympony of your own restlessness.

-Maybe it’ll PROJECT the parts of yourself you’re trying to disown out into the world around you so you have to EMBRACE them anyway.

-Maybe it’ll DERAIL or sabotage your goals and relationships because it KNOWS that you got into them for UNREAL reasons and it wants to show you something TRUE.

One thing for sure is that you’re ALWAYS involved in the process of RETURNING BACK TO WHOLENESS whether you know it or not – the problem is that you BLOCK it by resisting life but you can only resist for so long and you can’t hide behind anything REAL (read that again).

When you’re trying to resist the return back to the TRUTH about yourself then you get involved in all kinds of CONTROL FREAKERY, HOLDING BACK, and HESITATIONS.

All of these patterns are just your EGO’s attempt to try and keep the REAL YOU at bay so it can keep tricking itself into thinking it exists.

When you get CAUGHT up in this state, then your overall state becomes a FEARFUL one.

It’s fearful because everything about it is rooted in BS:

-The BS that you carry about yourself and keep hypnotising yourself with.

-The BS that you carry about the world that stops you showing up in it.

-The BS that you carry about reality that stops you moving and pushing through.

This FEAR is about taking the first steps and returning back home because you have become DEPENDENT on all of the illusions that stop you going there.

The more you resist, the worse it gets, until eventually that REAL SELF will EXPLODE from beneath the surface.

To KILL the FEAR, you need to start RESISTING YOUR RESITANCE and taking ACTION – only then will you see that there is nothing to fear.

Once you’re home, you’re WHOLE, and everything else is just gravy.

 

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Reality is Never an Obstacle to Your Happiness; You Are.

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People screw up their lives because they think that ‘reality’ is an obstacle to whatver they want.

The TRUTH is that reality is never ever an obstacle, barrier, or blockage because to get what you WANT – which is always peace of mind or ACCEPTANCE in some form or another – you always always always need REALITY to get it.

A lot of people think that being ‘realistic’ is DEPRESSING because it means facing all of the uncomfortable and BRUTAL truths about life – for example:

-We’re all gonna be dead one day

-Things don’t always work out

-‘Bad’ things happen to ‘good’ people etc.

That’s because there’s a difference between being ‘realistic’ and being REAL:

Being ‘realistic’ means observing the inevitabilities in life and accepting them as the end of the line.

Being REAL means observing the inevitabilities in life and accepting them as a SPRINGBOARD into new beginnings and the next version of whoever it is that you ARE.

In other words, when we get caught up in being ‘realistic’ we see the obstacles and limits of reality as BARRIERS to our growth; when we’re being REAL we see them as VESSELS for our growth.

Being ‘realistic’ is about treating your INTERPRETATIONS of life as the limits of your life… Being REAL is about understanding that all of these limits are just a tool for sharpening the sword of your TRUTH upon so you can go more deeply into life.

If you treat reality as being an OBSTACLE then that’s all you’ll ever get.

What you need to do is make a shift into ACCEPTING reality (and yourself) no matter what so that you can keep leaning in, keep pushing through, and keep growing REAL.

If you do that then one of two things will happen whenever you come up against an ‘obstacle’:

1. You’ll either find a way to CHANGE the situation by taking ACTION of some kind.

2. You’ll realise that you’re facing something taht actually can’t be changed and so you will become more ACCEPTING.

In both cases you will GROW MORE REAL (i.e. whole).

Reality is never a barrier to your ‘happiness’ – it’s always the FOUNDATION on which your happiness can be built.

The only actual obstacle to happiness is the RELATIONSHIP you have with yourself and your RESISTANCE to truth.

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This is the Sign You’ve Been Waiting For to Walk Away from the BS Thing that Keeps Holding You Back.

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Every so often, I like to remind people that a super power we all have is to say “NO”.

When you say “No” to something UNREAL then it frees you up to say “Yes” to the real stuff – your true values, your true intentions, your true purpose, and most importantly your TRUE SELF.

The problem for a lot of us is that we make a lot of the decisions about our lives and what we want to do with them based on an UNREAL IMAGE of ourselves:

-We don’t believe in ourselves so we CHOOSE jobs, relationships, or ‘friendships’ that aren’t healthy or satisfying.

-We don’t believe in the world so we think that we just have to follow our SOCIAL CONDITIONING and do what we’re TOLD.

-We don’t believe in reality so we don’t acknowledge that we can GROW REAL through a lot of our limitations (and when we can’t we can learn to ACCEPT and be more CREATIVE with these limitations).

When you make choices about your life from the UNREAL side of who you are (i.e. the EGO which is designed as a response to the Unholy Trinity of shame, guilt, and/or trauma and serves as a barrier to keep your SHADOW at bay – see Shadow Life: Freedom from Bs in an Unreal World) then what you get from life is equally UNREAL.

It’s pretty simple:

Unreal goes in -> Unreal comes out

Real goes in -> Real comes out

If you’re lucky enough to have something ‘bad’ happen or if you step up and do the WORK then you can start to go through the process of becoming aware of how the world you’ve CHOSEN is UNREAL:

Asleep -> Awareness -> Acceptance -> Action

If you stay ASLEEP you will feel the restless call of the void as your shadow calls to you from beneath the surface.

If you become AWARE you’ll start to feel frustrated at what you’ve CHOSEN for yourself.

If you start to ACCEPT you’ll understand why you made those choices and FORGIVE yourself.

If you accept you can start taking ACTION and the first step is to set the BOUNDARY by saying “NO” to the unreal stuff that doesn’t serve you.

Like anything, it’s a PROCESS – you might not just up and leave but you can CHECKOUT MENTALLY.

When you’ve done that the next step is to work on bringing the REAL STUFF and to keep walking.

No dramas, no stress, no malice.

 

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