fragmentation - Page 2

‘Happiness’ isn’t Just About Events…It’s a Process.

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Anybody can be REAL whenever they want – all they have to do is remember.

If you forget that you’re real – because you allow the world to condition you in to staying ASLEEP or because you hypnotise yourself with your own BS – then you take yourself out of the NATURAL process of moving and growing real and you just have unreal TENSION and friction in your life.

When your life is defined by UNREAL tension and friction then you’re not living your REAL life but coping with an unreal life that is the end product of your UNREAL CHOICES.

When everything is unreal in this way, you’re not really living in a way that can be defined as embodying ‘happiness’ because the life you’re living isn’t really yours – it’s just something that you COPE with whilst you passively wait for something better to come along (instead of cultivating AWARENESS, ACCEPTING what you need to, and taking ACTION to make it real again – check out my coaching packages).

When you make these unreal choices it’s always because of your ILLUSIONS about yourself, the world, and reality.

When you buy into these ILLUSIONS, you will do anything to protect and uphold them so that you can avoid the inevitable crash back down to reality (where you’ll find the solid ground and release you actually want).

When you live to protect all of this, your life becomes an incredibly TENSE state where you WASTE all your ENERGY upholding the illusions that imprison you and live for the little RELEASES of tension that make you think you’re ‘free:

-Maybe you live for the weekend so you can release the tension of that job you hate.

-Maybe you live for holidays so you can escape the life you’re fed up of and actually feel like ‘you’.

-Maybe you live for pay day because it’s the only dopamine BUZZ you feel anymore.

Whatever it is, living for these kind of EVENTS takes you away from the truth which is that ‘happiness’ is a PROCESS and you can be in or out of it any time you CHOOSE.

If you CHOOSE the process, then it means you’re not just releasing tension through sporadic events but you build CREATIVE tension between where you are now, where you wanna go, and who you need to BECOME.

Open up and GROW REAL.

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Your Shadow is All of the Things, ‘Positive’ and ‘Negative’, that You’ve Denied About Yourself and Hidden Beneath the Surface of the Mask You Forgot that You’re Wearing.

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Your Shadow Life is the real life that emerges when you face the whole of yourself without judgement.⠀
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Ever since Day One, you’ve been conditioned to be a version of yourself that has been deemed ‘acceptable’ by the world:⠀
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-Maybe you got rewarded with applause and attention for being a “good boy” and helping Mummy carry the shopping or some other ‘useful’ thing.⠀
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-Maybe you got rewarded with applause and attention for being a “good girl” and fluttering your eyelids and looking pretty.⠀
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-Maybe it was singing and dancing like a lunatic that did it. ⠀
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-Maybe it was being passive and “well-behaved”.⠀
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-Maybe it was getting good grades or being polite or just saying the right thing all the time.⠀
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Whatever it is, the world has conditioned you at the level of your BEING:⠀
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“Be this.”⠀
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“Don’t be that.”⠀
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“You SHOULD be this”.⠀
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“You SHOULDN’T be that”.⠀
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On and on it goes…an endless onslaught of bewildering and bewitching BULLSHIT that sends you hurtling into an unreal version of yourself that ends up building an unreal life for who you really are.⠀
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The truth is that hardly any of us escape childhood truly ALIVE because we’ve all had this nonsense pumped into our psyches for as long as we can remember: with enough repetition we don’t just end up being HYPNOTISED by the world but we end up hypnotising ourselves to boot.⠀
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We listen to the “Be this, be that” message so much that we send vital parts of ourselves into hiding by banishing them to the Shadow Territory.⠀
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This wouldn’t be so tragic if it was just the ‘bad’ sides of ourselves that got sent down there (though even the ‘bad’ is real at some level because what is real is whole and the whole is good, bad, and beyond).⠀
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Unfortunately, we end up sending our ‘good’ qualities down there too:⠀
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-Our joy and spontaneity.⠀
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-Our creativity.⠀
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-Our ability to love without thinking.⠀
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-Our capacity for INTIMACY.⠀
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-Our true sex drive and passion.⠀
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-Our compassion for others.⠀
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-Our ability to live with curiosity.⠀
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-Our lack of unreal fear.⠀
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-Etc. Etc. Etc.⠀
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The world doesn’t want you to be real because then you’ll be a threat to an unreal world.⠀
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Face yourself anyway.

 

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Your Emotional ‘Stuff’ Clouds Your Assumptions, Thoughts, and Beliefs and Blinds You to Possibility.

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Life never goes anywhere. Reality never changes.

What does change is our INTERPRETATIONS and PERCEPTIONS and those are affected by our relationship with ourselves first and foremost.

If there’s too much DARKNESS within us – especially darkness that we try to hide from ourselves – then the world becomes claustrophic and restricted.

If we can open up to the LIGHT within us – especially the light that’s SCREAMING to be released – then the world becomes more spacious and we can BREATHE.

The problem for a lot of people is that they’re running around telling themselves that they’re ‘happy’ when they’re not.

They’re telling themselves that this is the life they want to be living, but they know deep down that it isn’t and that whispering such things to themselves over and over again is just a COPE.

Often, this is simply because they have never really ASKED THEMSELVES what it is they want to be spending their time doing – life is short but it’s also a bitch (or so they’ve been told) and then you die.

They might as well just TOLERATE what they’ve been given instead of going out there and TAKING what’s waiting for them.

Other times, it’s not the world that’s holding us back as much as it is OURSELVES (though even when the world holds us back it’s usually because we LET it).

The reason we hold ourselves back is ALWAYS because our assumptions, thoughts, and beliefs have become UNREAL.

On a deeper level, these unreal assumptions, thoughts, and beliefs always stem from our UNRESOLVED emotional ‘stuff’.

It goes like this:

Emotions -> Assumptions about self/world/reality -> Thoughts -> Beliefs

Normally, the things that most affect us are the Unholy Trinity of shame, guilt, and/or trauma but these may also manifest as other emotions like anger, sadness, frustration, or self-loathing.

Whatever it is that you’re FEELING changes the amount of LIGHT that you allow yourself to shine on yourself and the world in reality.

If you become too CLOUDED, then you only end up seeing the problems in your life and being BLIND to all of the possibilities.

Your task is to reverse engineer your beliefs so that you can DIG OUT the assumptions you carry that are SCREWING you.

 

 

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Love is a Destructive Force as Much as it is a Creative One

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If you don’t believe in ‘true’ love, then I feel (a bit) sorry for you.

Yeah, I can be a bit cyncial and dark about the world sometimes but in the HEART of every cynic is somebody who’s tasted the TRUTH about life and either lost it or seen that the world is against it.

We can all taste the FRUIT of truth in various ways in our lives – finding the edge, dancing with loss, getting close to death, or just having conversations that bring moments of insight that make us go ‘aha’ and blow our minds a little more.

For most of us, though, the realest thing we’ll experience in our lifetimes is LOVE – when you find that somebody who actually opens doors…not just to life itself but to you and your own REALNESS.

They don’t even need to try that hard…it just kinda happens in the animal MAGNETISM and state of PRESENCE that exists between you.

When you’re in love the world seems like a totally different and BETTER place… The cynics like me might say that it’s only because you’re INFATUATED and so you’re not seeing yourself, the world, or reality clearly – you’re just filtering everything through the distortions of all that OXYTOCIN (the ‘love’ hormone).

You’re not, though, you’re seeing things as they really are and life as it truly is because love UNBLOCKS you and distances you from your own BULLSHIT.

People also say that “love hurts” but that’s BULLSHIT too – love can NEVER hurt because love is just a connection to the TRUTH and the truth is always the source of all comfort and JOY in our lives.

The thing that ‘hurts’ is the journey back to the truth as we go through the process of LOSING OUR ILLUSIONS and trying to cling to them.

This is why love is both creative and destructive:

It’s creative because it connects you to TRUTH which is the source of all creation.

It’s destructive because your journey back to the truth is limited by your attachement to and DEFENSE of your illusions.

The more you cling, the worse it gets – this is why people become cynical and anti-love: because they went in with their EGO and not what’s real about them (which can only lead to DRAMA).

May you kill you inner cynics and grow REAL.

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You Don’t Need to Force Anything to Get Where You Need to Be

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Forcing life to happen in the way that you want it to happen is alway UNREAL.

In real life and nature, NOTHING is forced:

-The grasss doesn’t force itself to grow.

-The trees don’t force themselves to produce fruit or to blow in the wind.

-The clouds don’t force themselves to burst open when it’s time to let the rains out.

-The birds don’t have to force themselves to fly away for the winter.

Everything just happens exactly when it’s supposed to happen – in fact, you could go even further than that and say that it’s beyond any idea of ‘supposed to’ and more accurately we can say “stuff just happens”.

The problem – or difference – of course, is that all of these natural phenomena haven’t been blessed with the ‘extra’, higher-level faculties that human beings have:

-They don’t have human reason.

-They don’t have human drives.

-They don’t have human fears, prides, or desires.

-They don’t have human tendencies to compare or to resist.

-Etc.

All of these things are part of our human NATURE but – if misused – they take us away from nature and life at the same time.

The way we ‘misuse’ them is by using them to turn away from the nature of ourselves and reality and towards the fragmentations and divisions of ‘the world’ (really, just a set of ideas that we project over the truth because of our individual and collective ‘stuff’).

When we turn away like this, we forget that we are CONNECTED to nature and its natural processes and we start to think that we’re of the world alone (which is never reality or nature because those things aren’t just ideas – they’re experiences).

The more attached we become to the world, the more our identity becomes invested in the things that we need to happen in the world to keep that identity in place.

The more we need the world to be real, the more we try and FORCE the things we want in the world to happen – every time we do this, though, we make the choice for fragmentation over wholeness and disconnect ourselves from the process of letting things HAPPEN.

Step back from the world, admit you don’t know everything, and let NATURE work with you.

As the tree brings forth fruit so shall you.

 

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Take the ‘Whatever’ Pill: Trust and Believe You Can Handle Whatever Comes Next.

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There’s the blue pill, the red pill, and then the big boy: the WHATEVER pill.

You take the blue pill and you stay in your little day dream… The MATRIX of your ego and a sense of disconnection and restlessness as you hide your SHADOW ‘stuff’ from yourself and ‘live’ in your own comfort zone.

You take the red pill and you wake up… You get AWARENESS of the truth about life and how things work – you can see through the VEILED VEIL (of your limited perception and interpretation).

AWARENESS will only take you so far though… Yeah, you can see and UNCOVER the truth but unless you actually work to ACCEPT the truth and then ACT on it then you’re cutting yourself of from your potential and the excitement of living and being connected to the REAL WORLD.

There are two things you need to do to live a REAL life:

1. Uncover the truth
2. Live the truth

To do this you have to walk the road from AWARENESS to ACCEPTANCE to ACTION (and then keep walking it going deeper into the truth each time).

It works EVERY time but it won’t work if you only become ‘aware’.

The final pill is the WHATEVER PILL and you can only take it if you’ve gained enough awarness and acceptance to TRUST and BELIEVE in yourself NO MATTER WHAT (because you’ve become unshakeable – see my post on abundance mindset).

When you truly trust and believe you’re ready for anything that comes next because you know you can HANDLE it in the sense of not being shaken from yourself and true SELF-ACCEPTANCE.

When people don’t take the WHATEVER pill then they become too SCARED of RISK to do what they really want to do with their lives.

They become scared to go out there and take ACTION because they fear the CONSEQUENCES of self-perceived failure or having people say things about them or whatever else their ego and its fears can convince them of and project forward int an UNKNOWN future.

When you project these hypothetical ‘what ifs’ forward without taking the WHATEVER PILL then you forget that you’ll still be capable of TRUSTING AND BELIEVING no matter what so no consequences really matter.

You can handle it.

Take the WHATEVER PILL and it gives you the superpower of knowing that you can handle WHATEVER is next.

 

 

 

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“So What?” is a Secret Weapon Against Shame, Guilt, and Anxiety.

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Everything changes and life keeps flowing.

If you flow with it, you tend to feel ‘good’; if you weigh yourself down with the tension of your own unreal THOUGHTS and IDEAS then you feel ‘bad’.

Things can happen to us on the surface of our lives but we also have the power to DEAL WITH them by taking a breath, remembering who the frick we are, and reminding ourselves of the age old truth:

WHAT IS REAL ABOUT US IS ALWAYS REAL ABOUT US.

In our realness, we are whole – if you can accept that then you don’t need to let the world shake you from yourself because you know you’re UNSHAKEABLE.

The problem is that we pick up ideas from outside of ourselves that stop us experiencing life as it really is.

Often, these ideas start off as SIGNALS that we’re heading on to the wrong path – sometimes, that’s fine because we need the signal as a NUDGE back to reality.

Signals are supposed to be TEMPORARY, though, so if we allow them to LINGER then we end up treating the signal as the reality (whereas in truth the signal is pointing us back to reality) and it causes all kinds of conceptual confusion.

A few common signals are shame, guilt, and anxiety – in some cases, they may just be a TEMPORARY nudge to remind us that we’re acting out of alignment with our true values and intentions.

If the signal LINGERS or is FORCED UPON US by others, then something unreal is going on and we need to whack out the secret weapon:

“SO WHAT?”

This is a simple tool that helps you circumvent your own programming:

Shame – shame lingers when you believe a lingering INTERNAL signal that you’re no ‘good’.

SO WHAT? You’re whole.

Guilt – guilt lingers when you believe a lingering EXTERNAL signal that you’re actions are no ‘good’.

SO WHAT? They can’t JUDGE your intentions.

Anxiety – anxiety lingers when you start to believe unreal hypothetical signals about the future “What if…?”.

SO WHAT? You’ll still accept yourself anyway.

If any of these emotions linger you have a problem with 1) your ideas, and 2) your identity.

There’s only the truth which is that you’re beyond judgement and that you have nothing to fear if you trust and believe in your own unshakeable connection to the WHOLE.

 

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Everything is the Best Thing that Ever Happened to You.

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This is a bitter pill to swallow but life is absolutely amazing.

Somehow – against all the odds – you managed to win the cosmic battle and to end up in a MEAT SUIT (but don’t worry, your body is nothing without you) on a habitable planet 93,000,000 million miles away from a ball of fire, spinning around at 1000mph, and getting to be AWARE of the whole experience.

Yeah, you’re gonna die one day but actually that’s just frickin’ amazing too because it means that EVERY single moment of your life is just a thread in the tapestry of consciousness and that – as you get closer to the end – each moment becomes even more PRECIOUS in its rarity.

The odds of you being here breathing and flowing and growing with life are literally ASTRONOMICAL – you’re connected to everything and everything’s connected with yout and then….poof: you become one with it.

We can easily forget all the things that we’re BLESSED with because we get DRAGGED into the clown world day-after-day:

-Sleepwalking politicians that lie and dodder in their old age as ASLEEP as they’ve always been.

-Drama and BS from economic GRUNTS that believe all the BS that created them (media, education system, ‘society’, movies and TV, etc).

-The ‘System’ that some how convinced you you’re here to work 9-5 until you’re 70 and then enjoy a few years of retirement.

None of that stuff is ‘REAL’.

Your REAL LIFE is who you are when you look at that sunset.

It’s who you are when you MAKE LOVE to somebody you care it about.

It’s the version of you that’s laughing your ass off so much your belly hurts and you have tears streaming down your face.

It’s you when you’re on FIRE and your soul is ABLAZE because you’re in the zone and your identity has been cast aside with all fear and you flow like a goddam force of NATURE.

The thing is – despite the cage of the CLOWN WORLD and all its BS – EVERYTHING that ever happens in your life is the best thing that happened to you.

Everything that happens – heartbreak, BS, loss, WHATEVER – is a lesson in ACCEPTANCE and the only thing you can ever accept is that you’re HERE, you’re NOW, and that you’re ALIVE.

Stop resisting and start ACCEPTING – because life is AWESOME.

 

 

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Obsession Will Send You to the Nut House but Devotion Will Take You Home

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Nothing in this world is worth being obsessed over.

The word ‘obsess’ goes back to late Middle English when it meant to be “haunted or possessed by an evil spirit”.

Maybe that’s still an apt description because when people are caught up in the throes of obsession not only do they lose themselves and their minds but they’ve also given themselves over to some dark power in themselves.

Obsession is UNREAL because it always has the EGO involved – in other words, the only reason anybody would be obsessed with anything is because of some FALSE IMAGE of themselves, the world, or reality.

The ‘evil spirits’ driving this obsession are usually just our unresolved emotional ‘stuff’ (in the form of shame, guilt, and or trauma and the FEAR and/or ANGER that accompanies these demons).

If you’re OBSESSED with something it means that you’re denying parts of yourself (because they’re hidden in your SHADOW) and so you project out certain qualities or ambitions onto the object of your obsession (aka ‘a Unicorn’ – see my book Shadow Life).

The most common things people become obsessed with are:

-Other people, especially in RELATIONSHIPS where we trick ourselves into thinking somebody is the answer to all our prayers (really just our ego’s way of protecting it’s illusions so we don’t have to grow through shadow) instead of growing REAL with them.

-Our own goals, because we’ve become OUTCOME-DEPENDENT and think we can only love ourselves if we attain whatever that goal is.

-The past, because we haven’t been able to find CONCEPTUAL closure and so our brain races around as the demons feed on our energy.

-Certain hobbies or material objects, because we’ve lost touch with our true sense of PURPOSE and need a substitute.

Any OBSESSION will eventually drive you CRAZY because it’s unreal.

If you wanna be REAL, you need to find a relationship, goal, or sense of purpose that you can be DEVOTED to.

The word ‘devotion’ means to make HOLY (WHOLE).

If the ego is made of FRAGMENTS then obsession is just about being further DIVIDED and detached from life because obsession is ego to the extreme.

Devotion is about dedicating yourself to what’s WHOLE in yourself, the world, and REALITY.

 

 

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The Easiest Way Out of Your Thoughts is Through Nature

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No thoughts are real.

This is because thoughts are always have two qualities:

1. They pass.

2. They’re fragmented instead of whole.

Number 1 is important to know because whatever is REAL about you lasts forever and can never added to, removed from, destroyed or recreated.

Number 2 is important because whatever is REAL about you is about a CONNECTION to the WHOLE.

Thoughts are only a temporary reflection or distortion of this WHOLE because of the fragmented way that these thoughts arise within you:

1. First you PERCEIVE life in a fragmented way because of your fragmented body (which has to divide and fragment because of its physical limits – you can’t see through the back of your head for example).

2. You INTERPRET what you perceive through your FRAGMENTED conceptual knowledge (because nobody is omniscient) and your EMOTIONAL BLOCKS.

3. These interpretations feed into what you know or don’t ‘know’ about life and this leads you to have QUESTIONS about things – as your brain is just a MACHINE for finding the answer to questions it runs around in conceptual circles trying to find CLOSURE.

4. This HAMSTER WHEEL of trying to close a LOOP is what causes nearly all of the thoughts that run through your head (with the exception of thoughts about things that pop up in your immediate environment).

If you want to stop OVERTHINKING, you need to try and figure out what questions you’re subconsciously trying to answer.

Clue: normally it’s something along the lines of” Why did [x] happen to me?”, “Why couldn’t I [x]”?, “Why did he/she/god/etc. do [whatever]”?

If you’re not aware of this tendency of the BRAIN to drive itself mad, you’ll think that thinking is your NATURAL STATE and that the product of your thoughts is who you are.

That’s BULLSHIT.

99% of the problems in our lives stem from the fact that we OVERVALUE thinking when actually thinking is a BRAIN DISORDER.

Your NATURAL state is to not think but to be AWARE and to take ACTION.

The easiest way to remind yourself of this is to put yourself back in touch with NATURE itself (hiking, climbing, watching a storm, whatever).

When you find your edge out there, nature ANSWERS any question you can have.

 

 

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