truth - Page 3

If Your ‘Confidence’ is Based On Feeling Superior It Can Always be Taken Away

Published on
//

There’s a difference between REAL and unreal confidence.

REAL is about KNOWING you’re unshakeable because you’ve found a way to be ROOTED in yourself and reality and devoted yourself to some TRUTH about life that’s ‘higher’ than just your limited ideas about ‘You’.

When you’re rooted to the WHOLE in that way you understand who you are and what life is (and the connection between you and live itself) and nothing can ever take that away. Never.

It can’t be taken because it’s not DEPENDENT on anything – it’s just about acknowledging what’s already there, riding those REALITY WAVES, and trusting and believing (trust that life has your best interests at heart and belief in yourself and your ability to handle whatever happens).

This kind of real confidence, then, essentially comes from doing the INNER WORK, and cultivating UNCONDITIONAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE (see my book Shadow Life which is about this).

“Unconditional Self-Acceptance” just means that you accept yourself NO MATTER WHAT and that you commit to working with and growing through whatever life flings your way.

When you take the opposite path – i.e. the EGO PATH – then your confidence isn’t based on unconditional self-acceptance but CONDITIONAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE.

Whereas Unconditional Self-Acceptance comes from the INSIDE, Conditional Self-Acceptance comes from the outside.

Conditional Self-Acceptance (aka ‘Self-Esteem’) means that you’re feelings about yourself are DEPENDENT on the image you carry of yourself in the WORLD (even though the world isn’t real).

For most people, this shows up as feelings of ‘SUPERIORITY’ – for example, being able to see ourselves as being ‘better’ than other people in our group or surroundings because of some completely (usually) superficial and arbitrary quality or thing:

-Being the most handsome/beautiful/attractive

-Having more money/followers/likes

-Being the funniest/toughest/purest/whateverest

-Etc.

There’s nothing wrong with HEALTHY COMPETITION (Iron sharpens iron) but if you’re confidence only comes from external stuff it can NEVER last because CONDITIONS always change – somebody will always be more ‘superior’ eventually.

Step inside and stand on something REAL.

My coaching packages can help you find your real confidence.

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

Everything You’ve Been Through Was to Prepare You to Be Real Right Now.

Published on
/

There are many mysteries about this place (aka ‘The World’) but one thing’s for sure:

Everything that either happens to you or that you make happen is a TEST of your REALNESS.

We’re ALL real but we can spend a lot of our time forgetting it:

-Some will wake up to their REALNESS when they’re young (usually because of some trauma or some incident that causes them to DEVIATE from the unreal path society asked them to walk and get back into the REAL MODE).

-Some will wake up when they’re a bit older (either because they started asking QUESTIONS, because they went through a great LOSS of some kind, or because they had some kind of ‘spiritual’ experience that broke them out of their minds a little).

-Some NEVER wake up – even though their REALNESS calls to them from beneath the surface their whole lives long – because they don’t know how to LISTEN or because all of the NOISE in the head is so LOUD it drowns out any hint of ‘insanity’.

Regardless of if it does or doesn’t happen the immortal truth about ‘You’ is always the same:

WHAT’S REAL ABOUT YOU IS ALWAYS REAL AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

Everything you can want from life – the joy, the bliss, the creativity – it’s there waiting for you whenever you’re READY…. and the best thing is you don’t even have to DO anything except just allow yourself to be OPEN to yourself and the light you’ll find when you face your own DARKNESS.

Whoever, wherever, whatever you ARE, everything happens and can only happen when it’s READY to happen – whatever you’ve been through in life has just been a TRAINING GROUND for the moment in front of you RIGHT NOW.

All of the pain you might have endured; all of the doubts you might have had about yourself, the world, and reality; every moment of joy, every moment of release, every moment when you felt like you ‘got it’ and felt HIGH ON LIFE only for the world to creeep in again…

EVERYTHING you’ve been through has just been sent to you from the SHADOWS of yourself to CLEANSE and to TEACH you what you needed to know to be who you are RIGHT NOW.

The only CHOICE you need to make in the moment is this:

“Am I ready to be REAL or do I need to keep hiding?”

There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answer.

 

If you’re ready to step into your realness get in touch with me about my life coaching packages.#

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

Only Trust Them If They’re (At Least) A Little Crazy.

Published on
/

It’s not the ‘crazy’ ones that you need to watch out for.

It’s the ones who think they’ve got all the answers and got it all ‘together’ that you need to watch out for.

The TRUTH is that all human beings are at least a LITTLE bit CRAZY because we all have chaos inside of ourselves, none of us know everything, and we’re all IMPERFECT in strange and BEAUTIFUL ways.

To be REAL and to be able to RELATE to others on the LEVEL then we need to ACCEPT ourselves unconditionally and that means embracing all of our darknesses and chaotic undercurrents – even if that might appear ‘CRAZY’ in the face of an UNREAL WORLD.

Being real is about ACCEPTING and EMBRACING the truth – beyond any ideas of ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – and so that means that we know we’re on a journey of allowing those REALITY WAVES to purify us through the act of living which means bringing the darkness and irrationality that exists within us ALL up to the surface in service of life.

The BIG BALLS move is to go through this process as part of our personal JOURNEY of growing real by and doing the INNER WORK required to allow the darkness to come to light in the face of our own CONSCIOUS AWARENESS without judgement or duality.

The BAD BALLS move is to find a way to express what you’re LEARNING and going through on this journey out in the world around you with your CREATIVITY and the way that you use it to speak you truth in the world.

Or as we’ve said before – do this:

1. Live to uncover the truth.

2. Act on this truth (by sharing and living it).

To live in this real way means that you are not ‘OF’ the world – the world is just our COLLECTIVE ideas and limitations about life according to whatever TIME AND PLACE we find ourselves in but what is REAL about you is UNIVERSAL and TIMELESS.

When you come from that UNIVERSAL PLACE in a world defined by its time then, of course, you run the risk of seeming a little ‘crazy’ but that’s only because you’re not letting the prison bars stop you from being FREE.

If you meet somebody claiming they have it all together or doesn’t have any rawness or rough edges then RUN – not only are they hiding from yoou but they’re hiding from themselves.

GIMME SOMETHING REAL OR GTFO.

 

Get in touch with me about coaching if you want to bring your own ‘craziness’ to the surface.

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

Waves Don’t Die – They Return to The Whole.

Published on
/

The waves comes and go but the ocean LIVES forever.

If you can understand that then you can understand what it means to ride those REALITY WAVES:

You know you SHARE an inherent connection to the WHOLE and that you can RIDE OUT anything that keeps you from it.

On the level of our human experience as FRAGMENTED CREATURES in FRAGMENTED BODIES the surface-level waves of our lives will change day-after-day until eventually the wave crashes or fades and so we become ONE again.

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again:

WHAT IS REAL ABOUT YOU IS ALWAYS REAL.

It can never be destroyed.

It can never be added to or changed.

Whatever that REALNESS is – and however it shows up – it is found in the same deepest, darkest ocean of WHOLENESS that connects us all and anything else that has ever uttered the IMMORTAL words of “I am”.

When you’re RIDING the reality waves they’ll take you where you ASK them to take you and to show you what you need to be seen so you can GROW REAL again.

Beware, though, there are certain things that stop you RIDING and try to make you swim against the current:

-Your EGO (surprise, surprise) and its LIES or ILLUSIONS that tell you the waves are something you should RESIST instead of helping you see that they’re an EXPRESSION of who you are based on how much WHOLENESS you’ll let in right now.

-The ILLUSION OF STASIS that tell you that you don’t need to MOVE and so you can take yourself out of the TRUTH about yourself and all LIFE.

-The belief that the SURFACE is the WHOLE and that time, space, and cause-and-effect are the limits of who you are when they’re just the RULES according to which the WAVES MOVE whereas whatever it is that you ‘ARE’ lies in the PEACE down in the depths where it’s all CONNECTED.

Waves may come and waves may go but as you learn to surf them in the direction of you highest VISION then whatever is real about you will REMAIN because what is real is WHOLE and infinitely complete.

Whatever waves you’re riding right now are just showing you what you already are – if you learn to listen by learning to ride then you’ll learn there’s nothing to fear.

What is real about you is ALWAYS real.

 

Help yourself grow real – check out my coaching page.

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

Don’t Waste Your Energy Trying to Look Like Something When You Could Become It.

Published on
/

A reminder for those at the back:

The three most valuable things you have are your time, your energy, and your attention.

That’s because you’re going to be DEAD one day and so with every breath you take you’re getting closer to having none of those things left at all.

A general rule about life is what you CHOOSE to give these things to grows and so – if you wanna live your REAL life – you need to be conscious of where you direct these things.

Unfortunately (or not, actually), growing REAL often requires that we do some WORK.

We have to go through the process of raising AWARENESS about ourselves, the world, and reality and this means having to face some potentially uncomfortable truths.

That means that we eventually have to work to ACCEPT some things about life that we might not like so that we can take the necessary ACTIONS to deal with them.

Awareness -> Acceptance -> Action works every time (literally) but because it requires a FOCUSED control of our time, energy, and attention – which takes EFFORT – not everybody is down for it (which is fine – it’s your life so whatever).

The funny thing is, though, so many people who can’t be arsed doing the INNER WORK required to do WHATEVER they want with their lives waste just as much energy on UPHOLDING THE ILLUSION that they’re doing it:

-People who want to BE rich will instead waste energy trying to LOOK LIKE they’re rich (and wasting more getting in debt to do it).

-People who want to BE [cool/confident/courageous/etc] will waste energy trying to LOOK LIKE they are instead of actually working to push through their EDGE or whatever.

-People who want to BE successful will waste energy trying to LOOK LIKE they are by overinflating and overhyping themselves instead of actually doing the work and getting the RESULTS.

-People who want to BE in control try to LOOK LIKE they’re in control.

Etc.

Do you get the point?

All that energy people spend PRETENDING to be something could actually be invested in BECOMING whatever that actually is and their lives would be a lot happier and free of frustration.

The cure (as always) is to STOP JUDGING, ACCEPT where you are, then do the WORK to change it and BECOME REAL.

If you wanna grow real then get in touch with me about coaching.

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

Your World is Just Your Old Thoughts and Beliefs Made Manifest Whilst You Try and Think of Something Better.

Published on
/

Your world today is a REFLECTION of the ‘Old’ You.

When we’re being UNREAL, we get so caught up in thinking that the world we PERCEIVE ourselves to live in is the concrete TRUTH about life but it isn’t for a number of reasons:

-First of all – as we say on here a billion times a week – the WORLD IS NOT REALITY.

It’s just a set of ideas and concepts and the more closely these ideas and concepts ‘point’ to reality (though none can ever TOUCH it), the more truth you let into your world and the more REAL your life will feel.

-Secondly, then, your world today is just a REFLECTION of how much you managed to accept yourself or not yesterday.

If you did manage to accept yourself then the ideas and concepts you use to make sense of life will reflect that and by extension your world will reflect that too.

If, on the other hand, your thoughts and beliefs have become a PRISON where you’re constantly JUDGING yourself or others then you’ll be locked inside yourself and the world will become OPPRESSIVE and RESTRICTIVE as an extension of that.

As we said the other day, there is a LAG in time between the day that you decide to UPGRADE your software (i.e. your EGO) and the day that reality will shift around you or catch up with the new or REAL way of thinking and believing once you’ve realised that you’re holding yourself back from life.

In short, when it comes to ‘The World’ what you RECEIVE is what you allow yourself to PERCEIVE.

“Allow yourself” is the key phrase because your perceptions of yourself, the world, and reality are ultimately up to you and the CHOICES you make when it comes to doing the inner work and accepting yourself or not.

The world you woke up in today is a reflection of how much you believed in YOURSELF yesterday.

If you’re ‘stuck’ in a situation that feels UNREAL then it’s because you have HYPNOTISED yourself with your conditioning and put yourself in a mind prison that extends as far as you can see in waking life.

Penetrate the DREAM and become LUCID by realising that you can CHANGE just about whatever you want.

First you have to see yourself and BELIEVE.

Then you have to have TRUST whilst reality catches up around you and the lag fades out.

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

 

You might be interested in

“I Don’t Like It/ It’s Not Nice / It Hurts Therefore It’s Not True” – Your Ego

Published on
//

“The truth will set you free (but first it will piss you off or make you miserable).”
–Personal Revolutions: ASCIR

We’re all walking around trying to live our lives with a REALITY DISTORTION device in our heads.

More than just distorting our reality, this device wraps itself around our SOULS like a parasitic vine and makes us think that we ARE whatever it shows us.

It’s kinda screwed up.

For many of us, we decided to start using this device and buying into what it shows us because we’ve become convinced that the thing we want the most is the thing we most need to avoid.

What is this magical ‘thing’ that we all crave?

It’s called the TRUTH and it’s with you any time you’re ready to quit the act and get REAL.

The problem is that most people have ‘stuff’ from the past that has sent them into HIDING.

When we feel the need to HIDE – because of our shame, guilt, and/or trauma or because of the BLIND TRINITY of fear, pride, and UNCHECKED desire – then we start to think that the COMFORT ZONE we’ve built to keep hiding within and DISTORTING reality from behind is the limits of ourselves and the world.

We’re not to ‘blame’ for finding ourselves in this state – more often than not, we keep ourselves imprisoned within that comfort zone because we have forgotten how to TRUST and BELIEVE in ourselves because something happened somewhere along the line that made us FORGET the truth about ourselves.

The problem is that everything we really want comes from breaking free of the cage and learning to STRETCH ourselves.

Only if we stretch can we allow the TRUTH back in and start growing REAL again.

Of course, when you’re stuck in your own prison like this the ‘guard’ that keeps you there is the one you CREATED for yourself: the EGO.

To stop any new TRUTH coming into your life it will help you LIE to yourself to keep your illusions in place:

“I don’t like it…so it can’t be true”

“It’s not ‘nice’…so it can’t be true”

“It hurts…so it can’t be true”

The TRUTH can never hurt you, though, because it’s everything you ever wanted and really are.

The thing that HURTS is holding onto illusions that the light of reality is showing you to be DISTORTIONS.

Ride it out.

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

Your World Today is a Reflection of How the ‘Old’ You Used to Think.

Published on
//

What you put into your life is what you get out of it.

You put something REAL in, guess what comes out?

Yeah, something real.

You put something UNREAL in?

You can probably figure it out.

The ‘problem’ (though it’s really more just a ‘reality’) is that the universe operates according to a law of CAUSE and EFFECT and it takes TIME for these effects to accumulate and give you the results that you want.

What this means is that you could spend your whole life being UNREAL and then decide to WAKE UP one day but it wouldn’t change anything unless you were real CONSISTENTLY over time.

Everything in your life is the accumulation of some PROCESS.

If the process you were involved in for the DESIGN of your life came from a place where you were being unreal with yourself (not your ‘fault’ – probably because of your conditioning and/or unresolved shame/guilt/trauma) then the world you live in today will be UNREAL too.

This is because – due to everything being a PROCESS – there’s actually a LAG.

What this means in practical terms is that your life and WORLD today is just the accumulation of all the choices that the ‘Old’ version of you made yesterday or a few months ago or even years back.

I see this all the time with my coaching clients:

For whatever reason, they were conditioned NOT to be real with themselves (i.e. live according to their REAL values and intentions) and so today the world they’re living in doesn’t ‘fit’ who they truly are deep down.

The solution in this case is to start UPDATING THE SOFTWARE.

Instead of having an unreal personality that was built as an unreal response to something unreal, I have to help people UNLEARN all of that ‘stuff’ and start acting and making CHOICES in a way that is more AUTHENTIC.

Often, this means letting go of the BELIEFS and IDEAS that make them feel like they’re ‘unworthy’ or whatever else they have going on.

When you DIG DEEPER and remove those kinds of beliefs you can start the PROCESS of upgrading the software so that there’s less CONFLICT.

When you do that, things start MOVING again almost immediately, momentum is built, blocks are removed and you just know that TOMORROW is gonna be even better.

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

This is the Sign You’ve Been Waiting For to Walk Away from the BS Thing that Keeps Holding You Back.

Published on

Every so often, I like to remind people that a super power we all have is to say “NO”.

When you say “No” to something UNREAL then it frees you up to say “Yes” to the real stuff – your true values, your true intentions, your true purpose, and most importantly your TRUE SELF.

The problem for a lot of us is that we make a lot of the decisions about our lives and what we want to do with them based on an UNREAL IMAGE of ourselves:

-We don’t believe in ourselves so we CHOOSE jobs, relationships, or ‘friendships’ that aren’t healthy or satisfying.

-We don’t believe in the world so we think that we just have to follow our SOCIAL CONDITIONING and do what we’re TOLD.

-We don’t believe in reality so we don’t acknowledge that we can GROW REAL through a lot of our limitations (and when we can’t we can learn to ACCEPT and be more CREATIVE with these limitations).

When you make choices about your life from the UNREAL side of who you are (i.e. the EGO which is designed as a response to the Unholy Trinity of shame, guilt, and/or trauma and serves as a barrier to keep your SHADOW at bay – see Shadow Life: Freedom from Bs in an Unreal World) then what you get from life is equally UNREAL.

It’s pretty simple:

Unreal goes in -> Unreal comes out

Real goes in -> Real comes out

If you’re lucky enough to have something ‘bad’ happen or if you step up and do the WORK then you can start to go through the process of becoming aware of how the world you’ve CHOSEN is UNREAL:

Asleep -> Awareness -> Acceptance -> Action

If you stay ASLEEP you will feel the restless call of the void as your shadow calls to you from beneath the surface.

If you become AWARE you’ll start to feel frustrated at what you’ve CHOSEN for yourself.

If you start to ACCEPT you’ll understand why you made those choices and FORGIVE yourself.

If you accept you can start taking ACTION and the first step is to set the BOUNDARY by saying “NO” to the unreal stuff that doesn’t serve you.

Like anything, it’s a PROCESS – you might not just up and leave but you can CHECKOUT MENTALLY.

When you’ve done that the next step is to work on bringing the REAL STUFF and to keep walking.

No dramas, no stress, no malice.

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

Love is a Destructive Force as Much as it is a Creative One

Published on

If you don’t believe in ‘true’ love, then I feel (a bit) sorry for you.

Yeah, I can be a bit cyncial and dark about the world sometimes but in the HEART of every cynic is somebody who’s tasted the TRUTH about life and either lost it or seen that the world is against it.

We can all taste the FRUIT of truth in various ways in our lives – finding the edge, dancing with loss, getting close to death, or just having conversations that bring moments of insight that make us go ‘aha’ and blow our minds a little more.

For most of us, though, the realest thing we’ll experience in our lifetimes is LOVE – when you find that somebody who actually opens doors…not just to life itself but to you and your own REALNESS.

They don’t even need to try that hard…it just kinda happens in the animal MAGNETISM and state of PRESENCE that exists between you.

When you’re in love the world seems like a totally different and BETTER place… The cynics like me might say that it’s only because you’re INFATUATED and so you’re not seeing yourself, the world, or reality clearly – you’re just filtering everything through the distortions of all that OXYTOCIN (the ‘love’ hormone).

You’re not, though, you’re seeing things as they really are and life as it truly is because love UNBLOCKS you and distances you from your own BULLSHIT.

People also say that “love hurts” but that’s BULLSHIT too – love can NEVER hurt because love is just a connection to the TRUTH and the truth is always the source of all comfort and JOY in our lives.

The thing that ‘hurts’ is the journey back to the truth as we go through the process of LOSING OUR ILLUSIONS and trying to cling to them.

This is why love is both creative and destructive:

It’s creative because it connects you to TRUTH which is the source of all creation.

It’s destructive because your journey back to the truth is limited by your attachement to and DEFENSE of your illusions.

The more you cling, the worse it gets – this is why people become cynical and anti-love: because they went in with their EGO and not what’s real about them (which can only lead to DRAMA).

May you kill you inner cynics and grow REAL.

?

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

1 2 3 4