wholeness - Page 2

Excuses are a Short-Term Solution to a Long-Term Problem: Unreality.

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The REAL ONES don’t need excuses.

An excuse is really just a reality deflection device that we use when:

1) We don’t want to accept some sort of feedback from life and GROW through it.

2) We don’t want to accept some truth or RESPONSIBILITY about ourselves and face its consequences.

The thing about excuses is that people who make them are only FOOLING THEMSELVES.

In the short-term, it stops them from having to face the unresolved SHAME that the situation they’re making excuses about is triggering.

In the long-term, it only perpetuates and DEEPENS the hold that this shame has over them.

If you can’t remember, it goes like this:

1. Shame sends people into hiding because they get TRICKED into believing there’s something inherently ‘wrong’ with them.

2. They hide behind the mask of the ego and send certain ‘unacceptable’ parts of themselves down into the SHADOW TERRITORY.

3. When something happens that exposes the GAP between the unreality (ego) and the reality (the truth and the ‘hidden’ parts down in the shadow territory) then things get WEIRD.

Excuses are what happens when somebody is DESPERATE to avoid the truth about themselves and to defend all of the UNREAL ideas that stpp them accepting who they truly are.

The TRUTH is that in reality you don’t NEED excuses because when you’re being REAL you only have acceptance.

Why’s that important?

Because excuses are just the ego’s (futile) attempt to use unreality to defend unreality.

In other words, excuses are completely redundant – an attempt to uphold illusions with illusions to avoid short-term discomfort of EMBRACING and then DISSOLVING the shame that makes us want to hide in the first place.

Any time you find yourself or somebody caught up in an endless parade of:

“Yeah, but…”

“If only…”

“Cudda, wudda, shudda…”

Etc.

Then you can bet your bottom dollar it’s a form of RESISTANCE (to reality).

The REAL ONES don’t need excuses – they either ACCEPT the choices they made, EMBRACE the truth, or they OWN the screw up and take the lessons on board.

Step beyond JUDGEMENT (which is powerless without shame) and accept the truth:

WHAT’S REAL IS ALWAYS REAL.

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The Truth that is Written is Never the Real Truth.

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Words are just words but the truth is the TRUTH.

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we’re GROWING REAL because we’re consuming information about personal development, spirituality, or whatever else but all of that stuff is just part of the problem unless we take it off the page and out into REAL LIFE.

This is deeper than just the distinction between theory and practice – it’s about IDENTITY versus EXPERIENCE.

When it comes to REALITY in truth, words, symbols, ideas and concepts only have the power to POINT YOU in the right direction – they are not the direction or destination in itself.

As we’ve said many times on this feed:

ALL CONCEPTS ARE UNREAL BUT SOME POINT YOU MORE CLOSELY TO THE TRUTH THAN OTHERS.

That means, of course, that there’s a Continuum of the Conceptual (sounds aight – just made it up):

At the extreme end is ‘BS’ – i.e concepts and ideas that point you away from truth instead of towards it.

In the middle is ‘Mediocrity’ – i.e. concepts and ideas that observe the truth to some extent but are only sourced in the MIND and so can never grasp it.

At the other extreme is the ‘Rooted’ – these are concepts and ideas that somebody has formulated after touching the TRUTH in their own lives and then doing the best they can to point you in the right direction (often having to use metaphors, stories, because the truth comes through pictures more than empty words).

BS——MEDIOCRITY—–ROOTED

Either way, even the most BEAUTIFULLY ROOTED words either written or uttered are useless in themselves until they TRIGGER something inside you that opens your mind to the moment and brings in a flood of new INSIGHT.

When people treat the words as the truth without the EXPERIENCE of the TRUTH then they just end up being machines that parrot pre-programmed scripts and dogmas – in other words, they have made an IDOL or UNICORN out of the emptiness and imbued it with qualities they have denied in themselves (in this case a connection to TRUTH).

To GROW REAL, you need to take the TRUTH off of the page and into your HEART.

Only then can you align your mind with your heart and ensure that the concepts you carry are pointing you HOME.

Get in touch for a reality check to find and see if my coaching can help you reach your goals.

 

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If Your ‘Confidence’ is Based On Feeling Superior It Can Always be Taken Away

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There’s a difference between REAL and unreal confidence.

REAL is about KNOWING you’re unshakeable because you’ve found a way to be ROOTED in yourself and reality and devoted yourself to some TRUTH about life that’s ‘higher’ than just your limited ideas about ‘You’.

When you’re rooted to the WHOLE in that way you understand who you are and what life is (and the connection between you and live itself) and nothing can ever take that away. Never.

It can’t be taken because it’s not DEPENDENT on anything – it’s just about acknowledging what’s already there, riding those REALITY WAVES, and trusting and believing (trust that life has your best interests at heart and belief in yourself and your ability to handle whatever happens).

This kind of real confidence, then, essentially comes from doing the INNER WORK, and cultivating UNCONDITIONAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE (see my book Shadow Life which is about this).

“Unconditional Self-Acceptance” just means that you accept yourself NO MATTER WHAT and that you commit to working with and growing through whatever life flings your way.

When you take the opposite path – i.e. the EGO PATH – then your confidence isn’t based on unconditional self-acceptance but CONDITIONAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE.

Whereas Unconditional Self-Acceptance comes from the INSIDE, Conditional Self-Acceptance comes from the outside.

Conditional Self-Acceptance (aka ‘Self-Esteem’) means that you’re feelings about yourself are DEPENDENT on the image you carry of yourself in the WORLD (even though the world isn’t real).

For most people, this shows up as feelings of ‘SUPERIORITY’ – for example, being able to see ourselves as being ‘better’ than other people in our group or surroundings because of some completely (usually) superficial and arbitrary quality or thing:

-Being the most handsome/beautiful/attractive

-Having more money/followers/likes

-Being the funniest/toughest/purest/whateverest

-Etc.

There’s nothing wrong with HEALTHY COMPETITION (Iron sharpens iron) but if you’re confidence only comes from external stuff it can NEVER last because CONDITIONS always change – somebody will always be more ‘superior’ eventually.

Step inside and stand on something REAL.

My coaching packages can help you find your real confidence.

 

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Waves Don’t Die – They Return to The Whole.

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The waves comes and go but the ocean LIVES forever.

If you can understand that then you can understand what it means to ride those REALITY WAVES:

You know you SHARE an inherent connection to the WHOLE and that you can RIDE OUT anything that keeps you from it.

On the level of our human experience as FRAGMENTED CREATURES in FRAGMENTED BODIES the surface-level waves of our lives will change day-after-day until eventually the wave crashes or fades and so we become ONE again.

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again:

WHAT IS REAL ABOUT YOU IS ALWAYS REAL.

It can never be destroyed.

It can never be added to or changed.

Whatever that REALNESS is – and however it shows up – it is found in the same deepest, darkest ocean of WHOLENESS that connects us all and anything else that has ever uttered the IMMORTAL words of “I am”.

When you’re RIDING the reality waves they’ll take you where you ASK them to take you and to show you what you need to be seen so you can GROW REAL again.

Beware, though, there are certain things that stop you RIDING and try to make you swim against the current:

-Your EGO (surprise, surprise) and its LIES or ILLUSIONS that tell you the waves are something you should RESIST instead of helping you see that they’re an EXPRESSION of who you are based on how much WHOLENESS you’ll let in right now.

-The ILLUSION OF STASIS that tell you that you don’t need to MOVE and so you can take yourself out of the TRUTH about yourself and all LIFE.

-The belief that the SURFACE is the WHOLE and that time, space, and cause-and-effect are the limits of who you are when they’re just the RULES according to which the WAVES MOVE whereas whatever it is that you ‘ARE’ lies in the PEACE down in the depths where it’s all CONNECTED.

Waves may come and waves may go but as you learn to surf them in the direction of you highest VISION then whatever is real about you will REMAIN because what is real is WHOLE and infinitely complete.

Whatever waves you’re riding right now are just showing you what you already are – if you learn to listen by learning to ride then you’ll learn there’s nothing to fear.

What is real about you is ALWAYS real.

 

Help yourself grow real – check out my coaching page.

 

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‘Happiness’ isn’t Just About Events…It’s a Process.

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Anybody can be REAL whenever they want – all they have to do is remember.

If you forget that you’re real – because you allow the world to condition you in to staying ASLEEP or because you hypnotise yourself with your own BS – then you take yourself out of the NATURAL process of moving and growing real and you just have unreal TENSION and friction in your life.

When your life is defined by UNREAL tension and friction then you’re not living your REAL life but coping with an unreal life that is the end product of your UNREAL CHOICES.

When everything is unreal in this way, you’re not really living in a way that can be defined as embodying ‘happiness’ because the life you’re living isn’t really yours – it’s just something that you COPE with whilst you passively wait for something better to come along (instead of cultivating AWARENESS, ACCEPTING what you need to, and taking ACTION to make it real again – check out my coaching packages).

When you make these unreal choices it’s always because of your ILLUSIONS about yourself, the world, and reality.

When you buy into these ILLUSIONS, you will do anything to protect and uphold them so that you can avoid the inevitable crash back down to reality (where you’ll find the solid ground and release you actually want).

When you live to protect all of this, your life becomes an incredibly TENSE state where you WASTE all your ENERGY upholding the illusions that imprison you and live for the little RELEASES of tension that make you think you’re ‘free:

-Maybe you live for the weekend so you can release the tension of that job you hate.

-Maybe you live for holidays so you can escape the life you’re fed up of and actually feel like ‘you’.

-Maybe you live for pay day because it’s the only dopamine BUZZ you feel anymore.

Whatever it is, living for these kind of EVENTS takes you away from the truth which is that ‘happiness’ is a PROCESS and you can be in or out of it any time you CHOOSE.

If you CHOOSE the process, then it means you’re not just releasing tension through sporadic events but you build CREATIVE tension between where you are now, where you wanna go, and who you need to BECOME.

Open up and GROW REAL.

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Your Shadow is All of the Things, ‘Positive’ and ‘Negative’, that You’ve Denied About Yourself and Hidden Beneath the Surface of the Mask You Forgot that You’re Wearing.

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Your Shadow Life is the real life that emerges when you face the whole of yourself without judgement.⠀
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Ever since Day One, you’ve been conditioned to be a version of yourself that has been deemed ‘acceptable’ by the world:⠀
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-Maybe you got rewarded with applause and attention for being a “good boy” and helping Mummy carry the shopping or some other ‘useful’ thing.⠀
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-Maybe you got rewarded with applause and attention for being a “good girl” and fluttering your eyelids and looking pretty.⠀
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-Maybe it was singing and dancing like a lunatic that did it. ⠀
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-Maybe it was being passive and “well-behaved”.⠀
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-Maybe it was getting good grades or being polite or just saying the right thing all the time.⠀
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Whatever it is, the world has conditioned you at the level of your BEING:⠀
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“Be this.”⠀
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“Don’t be that.”⠀
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“You SHOULD be this”.⠀
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“You SHOULDN’T be that”.⠀
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On and on it goes…an endless onslaught of bewildering and bewitching BULLSHIT that sends you hurtling into an unreal version of yourself that ends up building an unreal life for who you really are.⠀
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The truth is that hardly any of us escape childhood truly ALIVE because we’ve all had this nonsense pumped into our psyches for as long as we can remember: with enough repetition we don’t just end up being HYPNOTISED by the world but we end up hypnotising ourselves to boot.⠀
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We listen to the “Be this, be that” message so much that we send vital parts of ourselves into hiding by banishing them to the Shadow Territory.⠀
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This wouldn’t be so tragic if it was just the ‘bad’ sides of ourselves that got sent down there (though even the ‘bad’ is real at some level because what is real is whole and the whole is good, bad, and beyond).⠀
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Unfortunately, we end up sending our ‘good’ qualities down there too:⠀
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-Our joy and spontaneity.⠀
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-Our creativity.⠀
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-Our ability to love without thinking.⠀
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-Our capacity for INTIMACY.⠀
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-Our true sex drive and passion.⠀
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-Our compassion for others.⠀
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-Our ability to live with curiosity.⠀
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-Our lack of unreal fear.⠀
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-Etc. Etc. Etc.⠀
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The world doesn’t want you to be real because then you’ll be a threat to an unreal world.⠀
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Face yourself anyway.

 

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You Don’t Need to Force Anything to Get Where You Need to Be

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Forcing life to happen in the way that you want it to happen is alway UNREAL.

In real life and nature, NOTHING is forced:

-The grasss doesn’t force itself to grow.

-The trees don’t force themselves to produce fruit or to blow in the wind.

-The clouds don’t force themselves to burst open when it’s time to let the rains out.

-The birds don’t have to force themselves to fly away for the winter.

Everything just happens exactly when it’s supposed to happen – in fact, you could go even further than that and say that it’s beyond any idea of ‘supposed to’ and more accurately we can say “stuff just happens”.

The problem – or difference – of course, is that all of these natural phenomena haven’t been blessed with the ‘extra’, higher-level faculties that human beings have:

-They don’t have human reason.

-They don’t have human drives.

-They don’t have human fears, prides, or desires.

-They don’t have human tendencies to compare or to resist.

-Etc.

All of these things are part of our human NATURE but – if misused – they take us away from nature and life at the same time.

The way we ‘misuse’ them is by using them to turn away from the nature of ourselves and reality and towards the fragmentations and divisions of ‘the world’ (really, just a set of ideas that we project over the truth because of our individual and collective ‘stuff’).

When we turn away like this, we forget that we are CONNECTED to nature and its natural processes and we start to think that we’re of the world alone (which is never reality or nature because those things aren’t just ideas – they’re experiences).

The more attached we become to the world, the more our identity becomes invested in the things that we need to happen in the world to keep that identity in place.

The more we need the world to be real, the more we try and FORCE the things we want in the world to happen – every time we do this, though, we make the choice for fragmentation over wholeness and disconnect ourselves from the process of letting things HAPPEN.

Step back from the world, admit you don’t know everything, and let NATURE work with you.

As the tree brings forth fruit so shall you.

 

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Take the ‘Whatever’ Pill: Trust and Believe You Can Handle Whatever Comes Next.

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There’s the blue pill, the red pill, and then the big boy: the WHATEVER pill.

You take the blue pill and you stay in your little day dream… The MATRIX of your ego and a sense of disconnection and restlessness as you hide your SHADOW ‘stuff’ from yourself and ‘live’ in your own comfort zone.

You take the red pill and you wake up… You get AWARENESS of the truth about life and how things work – you can see through the VEILED VEIL (of your limited perception and interpretation).

AWARENESS will only take you so far though… Yeah, you can see and UNCOVER the truth but unless you actually work to ACCEPT the truth and then ACT on it then you’re cutting yourself of from your potential and the excitement of living and being connected to the REAL WORLD.

There are two things you need to do to live a REAL life:

1. Uncover the truth
2. Live the truth

To do this you have to walk the road from AWARENESS to ACCEPTANCE to ACTION (and then keep walking it going deeper into the truth each time).

It works EVERY time but it won’t work if you only become ‘aware’.

The final pill is the WHATEVER PILL and you can only take it if you’ve gained enough awarness and acceptance to TRUST and BELIEVE in yourself NO MATTER WHAT (because you’ve become unshakeable – see my post on abundance mindset).

When you truly trust and believe you’re ready for anything that comes next because you know you can HANDLE it in the sense of not being shaken from yourself and true SELF-ACCEPTANCE.

When people don’t take the WHATEVER pill then they become too SCARED of RISK to do what they really want to do with their lives.

They become scared to go out there and take ACTION because they fear the CONSEQUENCES of self-perceived failure or having people say things about them or whatever else their ego and its fears can convince them of and project forward int an UNKNOWN future.

When you project these hypothetical ‘what ifs’ forward without taking the WHATEVER PILL then you forget that you’ll still be capable of TRUSTING AND BELIEVING no matter what so no consequences really matter.

You can handle it.

Take the WHATEVER PILL and it gives you the superpower of knowing that you can handle WHATEVER is next.

 

 

 

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Self-Judgement is Always Learned. It’s Not Your Natural State.

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Judging yourself (or anybody) isn’t your natural state.

It might feel ‘natural’ if you’ve just taken it onboard as part of your personality but that’s just because you’ve got used to that voice in your head following you around and analysing your every move.

There’s an old saying in coaching that if somebody spoke to you like you spoke to yourself in your head then you’d probably end up smacking them and you’d – at the very least – tell them to STFU.

Because that judgemental voice or ‘inner critic’ has become part of our daily routine we’ve just got used to it and allowed it to continue its business – in many cases, we even end up thinking that the voice is who we are.

The TRUTH is that you picked up that voice somewhere in the outside world and it’s caused you to be disconnected from yourself, the world by extension, and any semblance of REALITY.

In most cases, this voice came from a CRITICAL PARENT or some ‘AUTHORITY’ FIGURE like a disagreeable teacher or something.

In other cases, it might be from old ‘friends’ or peers from the past who were projecting their own ‘stuff’ onto you and because of whatever shame, guilt, and/or trauma you were carrying you decided to take it on as the actual ‘truth’ about you.

The FACT is that if you’re running around all day judging yourself then you don’t understand who you are and you don’t understand REALITY.

The reality is that you are beyond the judgement of other human beings because no other human being can comprehend the truth about where you are, what you did to get there, and where you’re going.

When you find yourself in a hypnotic state of self-judgement it means that you’ve taken UNREAL standards from the outside world as being your REAL VALUES and INTENTIONS (which are always from a place of WHOLENESS when you’re real because reality is WHOLE).

These standards always show up as ‘shoulds’ about ourselves or the world.

Self – “I SHOULD be/do/have [what I’m told, not what I INTEND]

World – “I SHOULD fit into a certain [box/script/pattern/etc]”

The reality is you don’t NEED to do anything except accept where you are and where you want to be .

Move towards WHOLENESS and judgement slips by the wayside.

 

 

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Everything is the Best Thing that Ever Happened to You.

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This is a bitter pill to swallow but life is absolutely amazing.

Somehow – against all the odds – you managed to win the cosmic battle and to end up in a MEAT SUIT (but don’t worry, your body is nothing without you) on a habitable planet 93,000,000 million miles away from a ball of fire, spinning around at 1000mph, and getting to be AWARE of the whole experience.

Yeah, you’re gonna die one day but actually that’s just frickin’ amazing too because it means that EVERY single moment of your life is just a thread in the tapestry of consciousness and that – as you get closer to the end – each moment becomes even more PRECIOUS in its rarity.

The odds of you being here breathing and flowing and growing with life are literally ASTRONOMICAL – you’re connected to everything and everything’s connected with yout and then….poof: you become one with it.

We can easily forget all the things that we’re BLESSED with because we get DRAGGED into the clown world day-after-day:

-Sleepwalking politicians that lie and dodder in their old age as ASLEEP as they’ve always been.

-Drama and BS from economic GRUNTS that believe all the BS that created them (media, education system, ‘society’, movies and TV, etc).

-The ‘System’ that some how convinced you you’re here to work 9-5 until you’re 70 and then enjoy a few years of retirement.

None of that stuff is ‘REAL’.

Your REAL LIFE is who you are when you look at that sunset.

It’s who you are when you MAKE LOVE to somebody you care it about.

It’s the version of you that’s laughing your ass off so much your belly hurts and you have tears streaming down your face.

It’s you when you’re on FIRE and your soul is ABLAZE because you’re in the zone and your identity has been cast aside with all fear and you flow like a goddam force of NATURE.

The thing is – despite the cage of the CLOWN WORLD and all its BS – EVERYTHING that ever happens in your life is the best thing that happened to you.

Everything that happens – heartbreak, BS, loss, WHATEVER – is a lesson in ACCEPTANCE and the only thing you can ever accept is that you’re HERE, you’re NOW, and that you’re ALIVE.

Stop resisting and start ACCEPTING – because life is AWESOME.

 

 

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