Oli Anderson

Hi, I'm Oli Anderson - a Transformational Coach for REALNESS and author who helps people to tap into their REALNESS by increasing Awareness of their real values and intentions, to Accept themselves and reality, and to take inspired ACTION that will change their lives forever and help them find purpose. Click here to read my story about how I died, lost it all, and then found reality.

Obsession Will Send You to the Nut House but Devotion Will Take You Home

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Nothing in this world is worth being obsessed over.

The word ‘obsess’ goes back to late Middle English when it meant to be “haunted or possessed by an evil spirit”.

Maybe that’s still an apt description because when people are caught up in the throes of obsession not only do they lose themselves and their minds but they’ve also given themselves over to some dark power in themselves.

Obsession is UNREAL because it always has the EGO involved – in other words, the only reason anybody would be obsessed with anything is because of some FALSE IMAGE of themselves, the world, or reality.

The ‘evil spirits’ driving this obsession are usually just our unresolved emotional ‘stuff’ (in the form of shame, guilt, and or trauma and the FEAR and/or ANGER that accompanies these demons).

If you’re OBSESSED with something it means that you’re denying parts of yourself (because they’re hidden in your SHADOW) and so you project out certain qualities or ambitions onto the object of your obsession (aka ‘a Unicorn’ – see my book Shadow Life).

The most common things people become obsessed with are:

-Other people, especially in RELATIONSHIPS where we trick ourselves into thinking somebody is the answer to all our prayers (really just our ego’s way of protecting it’s illusions so we don’t have to grow through shadow) instead of growing REAL with them.

-Our own goals, because we’ve become OUTCOME-DEPENDENT and think we can only love ourselves if we attain whatever that goal is.

-The past, because we haven’t been able to find CONCEPTUAL closure and so our brain races around as the demons feed on our energy.

-Certain hobbies or material objects, because we’ve lost touch with our true sense of PURPOSE and need a substitute.

Any OBSESSION will eventually drive you CRAZY because it’s unreal.

If you wanna be REAL, you need to find a relationship, goal, or sense of purpose that you can be DEVOTED to.

The word ‘devotion’ means to make HOLY (WHOLE).

If the ego is made of FRAGMENTS then obsession is just about being further DIVIDED and detached from life because obsession is ego to the extreme.

Devotion is about dedicating yourself to what’s WHOLE in yourself, the world, and REALITY.

 

 

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The Easiest Way Out of Your Thoughts is Through Nature

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No thoughts are real.

This is because thoughts are always have two qualities:

1. They pass.

2. They’re fragmented instead of whole.

Number 1 is important to know because whatever is REAL about you lasts forever and can never added to, removed from, destroyed or recreated.

Number 2 is important because whatever is REAL about you is about a CONNECTION to the WHOLE.

Thoughts are only a temporary reflection or distortion of this WHOLE because of the fragmented way that these thoughts arise within you:

1. First you PERCEIVE life in a fragmented way because of your fragmented body (which has to divide and fragment because of its physical limits – you can’t see through the back of your head for example).

2. You INTERPRET what you perceive through your FRAGMENTED conceptual knowledge (because nobody is omniscient) and your EMOTIONAL BLOCKS.

3. These interpretations feed into what you know or don’t ‘know’ about life and this leads you to have QUESTIONS about things – as your brain is just a MACHINE for finding the answer to questions it runs around in conceptual circles trying to find CLOSURE.

4. This HAMSTER WHEEL of trying to close a LOOP is what causes nearly all of the thoughts that run through your head (with the exception of thoughts about things that pop up in your immediate environment).

If you want to stop OVERTHINKING, you need to try and figure out what questions you’re subconsciously trying to answer.

Clue: normally it’s something along the lines of” Why did [x] happen to me?”, “Why couldn’t I [x]”?, “Why did he/she/god/etc. do [whatever]”?

If you’re not aware of this tendency of the BRAIN to drive itself mad, you’ll think that thinking is your NATURAL STATE and that the product of your thoughts is who you are.

That’s BULLSHIT.

99% of the problems in our lives stem from the fact that we OVERVALUE thinking when actually thinking is a BRAIN DISORDER.

Your NATURAL state is to not think but to be AWARE and to take ACTION.

The easiest way to remind yourself of this is to put yourself back in touch with NATURE itself (hiking, climbing, watching a storm, whatever).

When you find your edge out there, nature ANSWERS any question you can have.

 

 

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Your World is Just a Movie Set You Built Because of the Script You Follow

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Most of us are movie stars without even realising it.

That doesn’t mean we’re gonna end up saving the world or running around in front of exploding buildings (though never say never), but it does mean that we’re following a SCRIPT that was written by somebody else.

Unfortunately, unlike that Hollywood star or starlet our scripts are followed unknowingly – on autopilot – and the director isn’t sat shouting directions at us on a megaphone but is hidden deep down in the SHADOWS of our unconscious.

This script was usually INSTILLED within us sometime in childhood – usually because of our parents or other ‘authority’ figures and the way that they affected our levels of TRUST in them, ourselves, and the world.

If these levels of trust become SKEWED or DISTORTED – usually because we end up engaging with some kind of ASSHOLES that are too busy projecting their own unresolved ‘pain’ out into the world – then it distorts our view of ourselves and gives us a set of false ASSUMPTIONS about things to live out the course of our lives according to (This is ‘The Script’).

If the assholes that screwed up your childhood (forgive them anyway – they didn’t know what they were doing) caused you to doubt yourself, the world, and reality then the script you’ll be following from beneath the shadows will go something like this:

“The world is a dangerous place that doesn’t have my best interests at heart”.

“Life is unfair and nobody can be trusted”.

“I’m not good enough to be loved/appreciated/whatever”.

Etc.

These CORE ASSUMPTIONS will cause you to run on autopilot so that you can keep hiding from the shame, guilt, and/or trauma that binds you to them.

Living according to these assumptions (without necessarily knowing) will cause you to have a set of UNREAL BELIEFS that are grounded in them.

It goes a bit like this:

Unresolved Emotional ‘Stuff’ -> Core Assumptions about self/world/reality -> Beliefs ->’World’

In other words, THE WORLD IS NOT REALITY but a layer that you project over reality based on the SCRIPT you’re following.

If you can change the CORE ASSUMPTIONS that fuel the script you’re following you can change the shape of your world.

Direct your own movie.

 

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You’re Either Real or Unreal: There is No In Between

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Self-confidence comes from having a relationship with something bigger than yourself:

-It might be a mission or a set of values that gives you strength (or at least takes your mind off thinking all the time).

-It might be a sense of CONNECTION to everything else in the form of love, God, source, divinity or whatever else you wanna call that ‘spiritual’ side of life (which is REAL af).

-It might be a sense of DUTY or SERVICE to some cause that you care about like your family or your country or whatever else.

In all these cases – and any like them – your confidence comes from being CARRIED OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF and realising that it’s never your ideas about ‘YOU’ that give you anything but the things that ask you to step outside your ideas.

The reason it works like this is because your ideas about yourself, the world, and reality are always UNREAL because no idea can truly encapsulate the feeling of being ALIVE.

When we’re caught up in the day-to-day hustle and bustle busyness of our lives we can forget this and start to think that we live at different levels of REALNESS or UNREALNESS depending on what we’re doing with ourselves.

The truth, however, is that WE’RE ALWAYS REAL because what is real can never be added to, removed from, destroyed or healed (with some ‘self development journey’, for example).

The problem is that we can forget this and think that we need to fix ourselves or others (or blame them) and to do this we try and FORCE ourselves to have confidence in ourselves.

This hardly ever works, though, because trying to find confidence in yourself means trying to find confidence in IDEAS and ideas are never REAL.

When you find something bigger than just your ideas about who you are to give you confidence then you STEP OUT of the illusion of self and remind yourself of your own REALNESS.

This is because you start MOVING again instead of being locked in STATIC ideas and become connected to the flow again…

What is real is always real and it always MOVES – this applies to ‘YOU’ too:

You’re either moving with something bigger than you that’s REAL or you’re lost in UNREAL ideas about yourself, the world, and reality.

There is no in between.

 

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If You Judge Another, You Judge Yourself

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Life is just a goddam trip.

You come screaming out of the womb, get slapped (in most cases) to see if you can cry (they want you to fit in), and then you’re pumped through an economic system of education to be conditioned as one of the herd.

If you’re lucky, you can find a station in life that you can tolerate with people that don’t annoy you TOO much; if you’re not, you spend your days slaving away at some meaningless task you don’t really care about before you die.

Yeah, it’s a trip.

To top it all off, nobody really KNOWS how the hell we ended up here or what the point of it all is.

You can go MAD just trying to survive and that’s exactly what happens to most people – their wits start to ERODE and the pressure drives them madder with each passing year.

The thing that we sometimes need to remind ourselves of is that “WE’RE ALL IN THIS ‘LIFE’ THING TOGETHER.”

-That family member you’ve got that’s always talking about nutty theories or got some scheme on the go?

Yeah, they’re dealing with the same existential crap as the rest of us.

-Those upstairs neighbours that (try to) juggle bricks and stomp around in stilts at 3am in the morning?

Yeah, that’s just how they’re finding some MEANING amidst all the absurdity.

-That lunatic you know who’s always threatening to beat everybody up (but never does)?

Yeah, that’s just a way of COPING with whatever the hell they’ve been through that led them here.

The POINT is that EVERYBODY is going through or has been through something because that’s what makes us HUMAN.

If you’re scared of facing your own ‘stuff’ then your tendency might be to JUDGE the other people that are going through ‘it’ with you but if you do that you only end up JUDGING YOURSELF.

If you BELIEVE it’s possible to JUDGE somebody else then it means you BELIEVE it’s possible for you to be judged too because you believe in the VALIDITY of judgement.

No human can judge anything accurately because all judgement is about ‘good’ and ‘bad’ but nothing is that simple.

When you judge you enter the realm of DUALITY and take yourself away from the truth about yourself and others: WHOLENESS.

All judgement is unreal and you become unreal when you judge.

Believe you can’t be judged (because you can’t be) but accept that means that nobody else can be either – whatever one of us is in truth, we all are.

 

 

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The Universe is Neutral; Thought is Empty; Life is Full.

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In the human form we’ve found ourselves we’re just…human.

Some people spend their lives trying to convince themselves that they’re ‘LESS THAN’ human and so they role over and give up – forgetting that they have a human SPIRIT and can stand up to fight again.

Others act like they’re ‘MORE THAN’ human, thinking that they’re really above and beyond all of the amazing things that make human being such a rewarding experience – they don’t have time to feel ‘bad’ sometimes or to grow through weakness. They’re heroes who are immune to life (and so they wonder why they never really TASTE it).

When these ‘more’ or ‘less’ than humans have moments of being shaken or feeling like they’re not where they want to be, they often BEG the UNIVERSE for guidance.

The problem with this is that the ‘universe’ doesn’t really give a crap about you – it CAN’T because it’s totally NEUTRAL. It doesn’t think or feel or even really do anything – it just IS and you either work with its flow or you don’t.

That doesn’t mean the universe can’t be MOULDED into something ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’ with the CHOICES that we make but it does mean that when you beg it for help you’re begging nothing for nothing and just wasting your own time.

Would you ask that random rock in the hills to guide your life? Would you ask that tree in the park to solve you sciatica? Would you ask the empty space you walk through to help you pay your electric bill?

Of course not. But that’s all the ‘universe’ is: neutral objects and empty spaces.

Both the ‘More’ and ‘Less’ than humans have been TRICKED by the same empty thing: thought.

Their thoughts have tricked them into believing that they’re something other than what they ARE and all of the amazing things that come with it: a human being.

When you stop your thoughts getting in the way and blocking your view you allow yourself to be FILLED with LIFE.

When this happens, you’re no longer disconnected from everything that surrounds you and you are able to find power within yourself to stop your universe being neutral because you do two things:

1. Uncover the TRUTH

2. Put it into ACTION

You can’t do that if you treat the neutral as meaningful or the empty as FULL.

 

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The Truth Will Make You Humble, Not Arrogant

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It is what it is and you either accept it or you don’t.

The truth is WHOLE and if it’s whole then by definition there can only be ONE.

We like to forget this – or even resist the idea completely – because it allows us to feel good about ourselves and stay in our comfort zones.

We like to think that our own INTERPRETATIONS of the fragmented reality we perceive around us is the end of the line but it’s not and never will be.

Our interpretations are interpretations and the TRUTH is the TRUTH.

You can see how this works when two people get caught up in a debate and there are THREE sides to the story:

1-The interpretation of person number one (fragments)

2-The interpretation of person number two (fragments)

3-The actual TRUTH (the WHOLE).

People like to keep the stories that they want to believe about themselves in place. That’s it.

All this really means though is that they have CREATED a story that appears to have an impenetrable INTERPRETATION of the truth built into it that allows them to feel ‘RIGHT’ about things.

When you want to be ‘right’ all the time it just means that you’re over-invested in the STORY you already picked up from the PAST and have no interest in writing a new one.

In this mode, you are lost in your ego and denying your REALNESS in truth every step of the way – you have made an IDOL of the truth itself and think that it is something that exists to serve your EGO and its arrogance.

This couldn’t be further from the truth though as the ego is the direct opposite of reality in truth – it’s a cocktail of LIES and its arrogance is what keeps you from the RELEASE of surrender to the flow of LIFE that fills the soul of your veins without you even knowing.

Using the ‘truth’ to be right all the time can only lead to arrogance and arrogance is the opposite of your REALNESS because when you’re real you don’t need to be ‘more than’ human.

The best relationship with the truth is the one that humbles you by showing you that you’re WRONG.

Only when you’re wrong can you let the light of insight in and LEARN who you really are and what you’re capable of.

That’s better than anything arrogance can ever believe.

 

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Acceptance is the Bridge to Your True Timeline

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You’re either in your time or you’re out-of-sync and the only difference between the two is ACCEPTANCE or RESISTANCE.

Really, when it comes to being real and living the life that you INTEND, the final lesson and resting place of your soul in the zone is always ACCEPTANCE:

Acceptance of YOURSELF and the things you stand for – your true values, your true intentions, and your true sense of morality (aligned with wholeness instead of the fragments of the world).

Acceptance of the WORLD and its limitations – like how the world is just an idea and your ideas about yourself and the OPENNESS of your heart affect what you let into the world around you.

Acceptance of REALITY and the INEVITABLE LAWS that fuel our relationship with it – such as the truth that everything changes in our human experience but everything is ONE and beyond change in the LIGHT of truth.

Your ability to ACCEPT life at these three levels (self, world, and reality) is affected by your ability to LEAN INTO and EMBRACE the TRUTH.

For most of us, the main reason we’re incapable of doing this is because we have become DISTORTED in TIME and need to make a quantum leap back onto the timeline we BELONG on (because our INTENTIONS are aligned with it).

When you don’t ACCEPT yourself, the world, and reality it means that you’ve found yourself on a DEAD TIMELINE where something is LOST, MISSING, or NEVER EXISTED but you make choices about who you are, what the world is, and what’s REAL that go against the waves of time that are washing over you.

This is normally because we’ve accumlated and attached to IDEAS that protect us from what we think we’ve been through but which become OUTDATED as time keeps swirling around us and we enter a different reality.

What this basically means is that the SOFTWARE our mind operates on is out of date with the HARDWARE we’re now operating on. When this happens it causes a SYSTEM CONFLICT or FAILURE that brings friction, frustration, and misery.

Your job is to upgrade the software by ACCEPTING REALITY and unifying mind and body so that you can WALK THE BRIDGE of trust and belief in yourself so that you can find solid ground back on your own TRUE TIMELINE and build a future that’s REAL.

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If You Haven’t Been ‘Happy’ Since the Womb then You’ll Try and Turn the World into One

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Sometimes, our lives are a mess because we’re bitter that we had to leave the womb.

I know that might sound a bit much but hear me out:

For the average human being, life goes something along the lines of this:

1. We’re conceived and find ourselves in the womb where all of our needs are met IMMEDIATELY and we don’t have to do anything to have it happen (because we’re connected to the WHOLE).

2. Nine months later we’re DRAGGED kicking and screaming into a state of DISCONNECTION and are introduced to the world.

3. Our needs are met when we CRY (if we’re lucky and have a good mother) so we feel a bit more CONNECTED again.

4. Eventually, we are sent into the world to fend for ourselves as a singular, FRAGMENTED creature that may have moments of WHOLENESS but – ultimately – it’s just us and a few moments of connection until we DIE.

Jeezus, that sounds bleak but it’s not all doom and gloom:

If you can WAKE YOURSELF UP and learn to be REAL then you can find a sense of purpose for yourself that allows you to flow with reality and GROW more whole again.

The way that we can do this is by finding some sort of ‘spiritual’ path to walk on that makes sense in the context of our lives and leads us back to ourselves.

The problem – for many people – is that they confuse spirituality (or whatever you wanna call it) with that LOST FEELING they miss from back in the womb.

This unconscious drive to return to the womb state DISTORTS their view of reality and causes them to try and turn their WORLD into a womb as a substitute.

Such a world is supposed to have the following features:

-Needs are met IMMEDIATELY without any effort.

-Cause and effect have no authority here because everything is connected to the NEEDS of the person at the centre of it.

-All you have to do is ‘think’ it and it will happen.

-There is no friction or tension to grow through because everything is perfect all the time.

-Passivity is rewarded more than ACTIVITY.

-If you CRY, you shall receive.

-Etc.

People with unconscious ‘Womb Nostalgia’ shape their world around the needs of their EGO.

All they end up doing is creating a bubble that will BURST at which time they’ll GIVE BIRTH TO THEMSELVES.

 

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Most People are ‘Free’ in the Same Way a Free Range Chicken is Free

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If the average free range chicken could speak, it would probably tell you that it really was ‘free’:

-It can strut around the farm as much as it likes.

-It can eat the worms (or whatever chickens eat) that it scrats around for in the grass.

-It can move freely from one point to another within the set limits of whatever fencing the farmer has installed to keep it in place.

Maybe that’s all it takes to be a ‘happy’ chicken – the freedom to have your needs met and enough room to breathe and move around so that you can feel like you’re making your own choices.

The problem is that the chicken isn’t free. Not at all.

Yeah, it’s ‘free’ to range around the farm but that farm is really just a breeding ground so that the chicken can live out its life as long as it serves ECONOMIC VALUE to the farmer that owns it.

From the chickens POV (who is probably too busy distracting itself with its quest for worms in the grass or whatever) it’s probably oblivious to the fact that it’s OWNED and that the majority of its available CHOICES have been predetermined by the chicken masters.

It’s not really that different for the majority of human beings that live in the ‘free’ economic system that we’ve created.

Sure, we’re free to make choices about what brand of toothpaste we want to buy or which supermarket we want to fill our trolleys up with each week.

Yeah, we get to decide if we want to drive this type of car or that type of car (or maybe we buy into some ideology about riding bicycles and do that).

All of our choices are locked within the limitations of the FARM that our own economic chicken masters have set for us as cogs in the machinery of a system of labour, consumption, debt, and taxes.

The people in charge of the farm make decisions not on the value of our lives but on the economic value we can provide and the impact our lives have on keeping the system in place.

Any time you identify with external ideas or goods then you’re just buying into the illusion of the farm and thinking you can buy your freedom with false choices.

You can’t. The only true freedom is internal and you can only get that when you see the farm for what it is and stop being a chicken.

 

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