Symbols of Realness: Using Symbols and Metaphors to Grow Beyond Conditioning and Into Wholeness

Integration/Life Philosophy/Mindset/Psychology/Shadow Life

by Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness

Replacing Outdated Identities With A Symbol of Realness Can Facilitate Your Journey into Wholeness

There often comes a moment in life when something inside us starts to niggle away and insist that things quite simply can’t go on as they’ve been going on:

We feel restless, ‘stuck’, out of the flow, and we start to notice patterns repeating, results forever out-of-reach, and a vague but persistent sense that we’re living out of alignment with whoever it is that we are in our REALNESS.

When you find yourself on the verge of a transformational journey like this – knowing that you want and need to change your life in some way – then it’s almost always because you’ve reached the end of the line of an outdated version of yourself:

This “outdated” version is simply the ego which we can define as the collection of survival mechanisms, emotional defences, and behavioural patterns that once helped you cope with shame, guilt, and/or trauma.

These patterns were never ‘wrong’ (in a moral sense or in a way that reflected your ‘worth’) – in fact, they served the important purpose of helping you to survive whatever it was that you went through…

Unfortunately, survival software like this eventually becomes outdated because reality changes, circumstances shift, and what once protected can start to limit you and hold you back from yourself and life.

What this all boils down to is the fact that what once kept you safe may now prevent you from living fully and when this happens, you begin to feel the symptoms of the Void (a disconnection from the truth) in the form of restlessness, doubt, fear, lack of results, scarcity thinking, resistance, disconnection, and a sense of not flowing with life.

These symptoms are not signs of failure but invitations to evolve and evolution requires a new image of the self.

One of the most powerful ways to begin this process – one that I’ve used with coaching clients and seen them get amazing results with – is to find a symbol that represents the energy, drive, and presence you want to embody as you step into your realness.

This article will show you how to do this.

Let’s dig a little deeper:

Symbols can help you to tap into who you truly are in your realness.

Symbols of Realness: What We’ll Cover In This Article

Why Symbols Are Transformational

A symbol carries more meaning than a concept ever could:

It communicates instantly, emotionally, and intuitively and speaks not just to the rational mind but to the unconscious – the deeper layers of personality where real transformation occurs.

The psychologist Carl Jung emphasised the importance of symbols in psychological growth.

As he famously said:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate”.

Symbols help us make the unconscious conscious because they allow us to engage with hidden parts of ourselves including those aspects we’ve pushed into the shadow self in order to maintain an ego identity that once felt necessary (because it helped us survive like we said above).

The ‘right’ symbol for our growth into realness contains layers of meaning, stories, emotions, and associations that bypass intellectual resistance and communicates directly with the ‘parts’ of you that are ready to play a bigger and more conscious role in your life.

This is really important because where theory can be debated, a symbol can be embodied and embodiment — accepting the truth of something so deeply that it shapes how you show up in your relationship between yourself and life is the bridge between insight and transformation.

The Problem With Living On Autopilot

Without conscious direction, many of us live our lives according to old conditioning rather than actually being present in our own lives:

What this means is that we react automatically based on past programming rather than responding consciously to present reality.

This is what it means to live from the unreal self (ego) – a version of identity that’s built from fear, defence, and adaptation rather than truth.

You’re generally showing up from the unreal self when:

You react emotionally in predictable ways over and over again.
You hold back when you want to act.
You overcompensate or self-sabotage.
You feel disconnected from your own energy.
You know what to do but can never seem to get it done (because your unconscious intentions outweigh your conscious desires).

The ego runs on habit, realness requires presence, and symbols can help you shift into this presence so that you can grow real:

This is because a powerful symbol can give you something REAL to orient towards – a kind of reference point that helps you notice when you’re acting from conditioning (fragmentation) and when you’re acting from truth (wholeness).

In other words, it becomes a compass back home.

The Symbol as a Compass for Realness

When you have the ‘right’ symbol and begin to embody it, you gain the ability to discern where your behaviour is coming from.

You can ask (and, more importantly, answer):

Is this reaction aligned with my symbol for realness?
Is this coming from fear or from truth?
Am I acting from old conditioning or real presence?

This kind of clarity allows you to gradually shift away from the unreal and towards the real by putting you in the active process of unlearning all of the ‘stuff’ (conditioning, etc) that has been keeping you from yourself and your life.

The goal is not perfection but direction as you embody the idea that “What you focus on grows“:

What this means in this case is that when your attention shifts towards your symbol and the qualities it represents, you naturally reinforce new patterns that you’ve CHOSEN and weaken the ‘old’ ones that you didn’t.

Choosing the ‘Right’ Symbol for Your Own Realness

The right symbol for you can be literally anything:

It may arise suddenly and make no ‘sense’ despite feeling like it ‘fits’ or it may feel strangely familiar.

You may not even be able to explain why it resonates with you but one thing for sure is that when you encounter it, something inside you will recognise it because it will call to the ‘parts’ of yourself that are ready and waiting to be integrated.

To help discover your symbol, it can be useful to reflect on:

Your deepest values.
The qualities you admire most in others.
How you might show up if shame, guilt, or past trauma had never shaped your behaviour in the first place.
The ‘parts’ of yourself you’ve disowned or pushed into the Shadow Territory to maintain your current identity (ego).

Very often, the symbol represents qualities that already exist within you but have been suppressed and so this isn’t about becoming someone else but about finally becoming more fully yourself.

Real-Life Examples of Transformational Symbols of Realness

To make all of this more concrete, here are a few examples from my work with coaching clients over the last few years:

The Grizzly Bear

One client had been conditioned over the years to suppress his assertiveness and healthy aggression and so he held back in meetings, avoided confrontation, and struggled to lead – despite having natural leadership ability and actually being in a leadership role in his business.

His symbol for transformation became the Grizzly Bear:

The grizzly bear in this person’s unique context represented grounded strength, decisive action, and protective power and by embodying this energy, he began to access aspects of himself that had long been buried in the shadow.

Over time, his communication changed, his posture changed, and his capacity for presence deepened.

In other words, the Grizzly Bear symbol gave him permission to reclaim his power.

The Elephant Mama

Another client wanted to show up for her children with greater care and protection but had never experienced this modelled in her own childhood.

The symbol for transformation that she chose was the Elephant Mama (even though she had no idea where this came from or how it showed up for her in the first place – she just knew that the elephant symbolised what she needed to step into).

Elephants symbolise loyalty, memory, and fierce protection of their young and this image helped her access her own nurturing strength rather than (outdated) anxious control.

She became more present, more consistent, and more emotionally available over time because the Elephant Mama symbol gave her a template for being the parent she wanted to be.

The Man

Some clients experience a deep inner split between their authentic self and how they currently show up in the world due to childhood conditioning causing them to detach from their real, masculine core.

Several of them connected with the symbol of The Man – though the meaning differed for each person and so, for some, it represented integrity and responsibility and, for others, courage or grounded presence.

In all cases, “The Man” symbol clarified what kind of energy to embody in everyday life and provided a felt sense of maturity, direction, and alignment that has helped them to tear themselves away from unhealthy childhood conditioning.

These examples are simply illustrations and so your symbol of your own realness may be an animal, an archetype, a natural force, a mythical figure, an object, or something entirely unique.

The form actually doesn’t matter – what does is the resonance and the way that it allows you to shift your FOCUS on to what’s real instead of what’s unreal.

This Is Not “Fake It Till You Make It”

It’s important to clarify that this process is not about pretending or performing:

You’re not inventing a persona or adopting an artificial identity but uncovering your unexpressed essence because your essence is your REALNESS.

The symbol doesn’t need to create new qualities (though you may work to develop them more) – instead, it reveals what’s always been present beneath layers of conditioning and helps dissolve false beliefs so you can reconnect with the truth about yourself.

This is why the right symbol feels energising rather than exhausting – it’s about remembering, not performing.

(And when you stop performing you free up all kinds of energy because you’re no longer holding onto things you don’t need to hold onto).

Integrating the Shadow

At the deeper level, working with symbols is about integrating the shadow – the aspects of yourself that were rejected or hidden in order to maintain your current identity (ego).

Conditioning fragments our relationship with ourselves and forces us to accept some parts of ourselves while rejecting others but realness is wholeness:

When you choose a symbol, you’re inviting disowned qualities back into conscious expression and start to restore balance by becoming less divided within yourself.

Real transformation, then, isn’t about adding something new for the sake of it but about removing all of the unreal things that we picked up in order to go into hiding.

Living From the Symbol of Realness

Once you have identified your symbol, the real work begins:

Embodiment.

To really embody a symbol means to accept the truth it represents and allow that truth to guide your actions.

It also means repeatedly orienting towards it in daily life and allowing it as a compass for where we direct our focus (instead of allowing that ‘old’ conditioning of the unreal self to direct your focus without you making a choice).

Some questions that you might ask yourself in the early stages of working with a symbol like this:

“How would my symbol handle this situation?“
“What energy would it bring here?“
“What would alignment look like right now?”

Over time, this practice rewires your behavioural patterns and the symbol becomes internalised so it shifts from being something you ‘have’ to think about to something you naturally express.

In other words, you begin to live from realness rather than conditioning.

Check out my book Trust: A Manual in Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace if you want to go even deeper into your realness.

Practical Exercises for Finding and Embodying Your Symbol

Below are some exercises to help you implement this work in your own life and to find your own Symbol of Realness:

1. The End of the Old Self Reflection

Take 20 minutes with a journal and reflect on the things that need changing or letting go of:

Where in your life do you feel stuck or restless?
What patterns no longer serve you?
What behaviours feel like outdated survival strategies?
What are the symptoms of the Void showing up for you?

Write honestly because this exercise clarifies what you are moving away from and the more Awareness you have, the better.

2. Values and Essence Discovery

Answer the following to start understanding what you really want and need from yourself and life:

What qualities do I most admire in others?
What values feel non-negotiable to me?
How would I show up if shame, guilt, or fear had never shaped my behaviour?
What parts of myself have I suppressed to be accepted?

Look for recurring themes here like strength, compassion, leadership, creativity, truthfulness, protection, or presence, etc. because these point towards your symbol.

3. Symbol Exploration

Close your eyes and imagine the version of you that lives in complete realness and try to get your conscious mind to relax so you can let your unconscious mind ‘speak’ you.

(Try and create the feeling of being on the verge of sleep but still fully awake):

Ask yourself some questions to start fleshing things out:

What image represents this energy?
What creature, force, or archetype comes to mind?
What symbol gives me a feeling of truth in my body?

Don’t overthinking it and remember that there’s no ‘wrong’ answer – just whatever works for you so trust your first intuitive response and write down whatever appears.

4. Symbol Mapping

Once you have a symbol to work with, you can start to explore it a bit more deeply:

What qualities does it embody?
How does it move physically?
How does it breathe?
How does it respond to challenges?
What values does it represent?
What behaviours express its essence?

Create a detailed description because this will become your guide to refer back to when need be.

5. Daily Embodiment Practice

Now you’re ready to start leaning into the energy that this symbol represents for you and your life.

Each morning check in with yourself and ask yourself:

How can I embody my symbol today?
What would alignment look like in my work, relationships, and decisions?

Each evening you can also take some time for reflection to see how you might need to keep tweaking things:

When did I embody my symbol?
When did I fall back into conditioning?
What did I learn?

Consistency builds integration so keep coming back to it!

6. The Compass Question

In difficult moments or challenging situations, you can pause and ask yourself:

“Is this real or conditioned?”

Or:

“What would my symbol do?”

Let the answer guide your action moving forward and keep bringing yourself back to this REAL place.

The 'right' symbol can reveal what's been waiting to surface from the Shadow Territory.

The Final Word: Symbols of Realness & Moving Towards Wholeness

Ultimately, choosing and embodying a symbol is a way of shifting from fragmentation towards wholeness or from unreal to real:

The right symbol can help you to unlearn conditioned reactions, integrate the shadow, and reconnect with your essential nature.

The journey into realness isn’t about becoming perfect but about shifting towards wholeness and recognising that the ‘old’ ego identity has reached its limits so that we can allow something truer to emerge – in other words, it’s about replacing outdated survival patterns with conscious presence.

Often, the simplest way to do this is through a symbol that serves as a reference point for realness and ann image that carries the truth of who you already are and who you are becoming.

When you find the right one, you’ll know.

Stay real out there,

Oli Anderson, Transformational Coach for Realness

P.S. If you’re ready to start transforming your life and to step into your realness then book a free coaching session with me and I’ll help you start shifting gear and getting results.

Trust: A Manual for Becoming the Void, Building Flow, and Finding Peace is a book about learning to return to your realness by cultivating trust in yourself and trust in life.

It contains practical exercises and dedicated meditations (Transformational Bridges) to take you DEEP in knowing yourself and life.

This book will answer many of the questions you have growing REAL and flowing towards wholeness. It covers everything from shame to addiction to the unconscious mind and synchronicity (and way more).

Personal Revolutions: A Short Course in Realness is a book designed to help you look at your life from the inside-out so that you can stop holding yourself back and go get what you really want.

It contains 166 practical ‘Revolutions’ for awareness and over 8,000 Self-Guidance Questions for you to uncover new insight about yourself, the world, and reality that you can translate into action and start building your real life on the realest possible foundation.

Shadow Life is an exploration of the human shadow and the hidden side of our personalities. It looks at the masks we wear, where these masks come from, and how we can take them off.

The book explores how we can better manage our relationships with shame, guilt, and trauma in order to remove the Mask that the world has asked us to wear (and that we forgot we were wearing) so we can live an authentic life with less drama, chaos, or BS whilst we’re still around.

Download EGO/SHADOW/TRUST - a free guide to transformation that will walk you through the vital stages of Awareness, Acceptance, and Action with practical strategies to implement right away.

Join the 7-Day Bare Ass Minimum (BAM) Challenge and start to implement foundational health habits and a powerful life vision only a week from now.

Oli Anderson
Latest posts

Hi, I'm Oli Anderson - a Transformational Coach for REALNESS and author who helps people to tap into their REALNESS by increasing Awareness of their real values and intentions, to Accept themselves and reality, and to take inspired ACTION that will change their lives forever and help them find purpose. Click here to read my story about how I died, lost it all, and then found reality.

View all