reality - Page 2

Reality is Never an Obstacle to Your Happiness; You Are.

Published on
/
Stop letting unreality block your path.

People screw up their lives because they think that ‘reality’ is an obstacle to whatver they want.

The TRUTH is that reality is never ever an obstacle, barrier, or blockage because to get what you WANT – which is always peace of mind or ACCEPTANCE in some form or another – you always always always need REALITY to get it.

A lot of people think that being ‘realistic’ is DEPRESSING because it means facing all of the uncomfortable and BRUTAL truths about life – for example:

-We’re all gonna be dead one day

-Things don’t always work out

-‘Bad’ things happen to ‘good’ people etc.

That’s because there’s a difference between being ‘realistic’ and being REAL:

Being ‘realistic’ means observing the inevitabilities in life and accepting them as the end of the line.

Being REAL means observing the inevitabilities in life and accepting them as a SPRINGBOARD into new beginnings and the next version of whoever it is that you ARE.

In other words, when we get caught up in being ‘realistic’ we see the obstacles and limits of reality as BARRIERS to our growth; when we’re being REAL we see them as VESSELS for our growth.

Being ‘realistic’ is about treating your INTERPRETATIONS of life as the limits of your life… Being REAL is about understanding that all of these limits are just a tool for sharpening the sword of your TRUTH upon so you can go more deeply into life.

If you treat reality as being an OBSTACLE then that’s all you’ll ever get.

What you need to do is make a shift into ACCEPTING reality (and yourself) no matter what so that you can keep leaning in, keep pushing through, and keep growing REAL.

If you do that then one of two things will happen whenever you come up against an ‘obstacle’:

1. You’ll either find a way to CHANGE the situation by taking ACTION of some kind.

2. You’ll realise that you’re facing something taht actually can’t be changed and so you will become more ACCEPTING.

In both cases you will GROW MORE REAL (i.e. whole).

Reality is never a barrier to your ‘happiness’ – it’s always the FOUNDATION on which your happiness can be built.

The only actual obstacle to happiness is the RELATIONSHIP you have with yourself and your RESISTANCE to truth.

—————————————————

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

If Your ‘Confidence’ is Based On Feeling Superior It Can Always be Taken Away

Published on
//

There’s a difference between REAL and unreal confidence.

REAL is about KNOWING you’re unshakeable because you’ve found a way to be ROOTED in yourself and reality and devoted yourself to some TRUTH about life that’s ‘higher’ than just your limited ideas about ‘You’.

When you’re rooted to the WHOLE in that way you understand who you are and what life is (and the connection between you and live itself) and nothing can ever take that away. Never.

It can’t be taken because it’s not DEPENDENT on anything – it’s just about acknowledging what’s already there, riding those REALITY WAVES, and trusting and believing (trust that life has your best interests at heart and belief in yourself and your ability to handle whatever happens).

This kind of real confidence, then, essentially comes from doing the INNER WORK, and cultivating UNCONDITIONAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE (see my book Shadow Life which is about this).

“Unconditional Self-Acceptance” just means that you accept yourself NO MATTER WHAT and that you commit to working with and growing through whatever life flings your way.

When you take the opposite path – i.e. the EGO PATH – then your confidence isn’t based on unconditional self-acceptance but CONDITIONAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE.

Whereas Unconditional Self-Acceptance comes from the INSIDE, Conditional Self-Acceptance comes from the outside.

Conditional Self-Acceptance (aka ‘Self-Esteem’) means that you’re feelings about yourself are DEPENDENT on the image you carry of yourself in the WORLD (even though the world isn’t real).

For most people, this shows up as feelings of ‘SUPERIORITY’ – for example, being able to see ourselves as being ‘better’ than other people in our group or surroundings because of some completely (usually) superficial and arbitrary quality or thing:

-Being the most handsome/beautiful/attractive

-Having more money/followers/likes

-Being the funniest/toughest/purest/whateverest

-Etc.

There’s nothing wrong with HEALTHY COMPETITION (Iron sharpens iron) but if you’re confidence only comes from external stuff it can NEVER last because CONDITIONS always change – somebody will always be more ‘superior’ eventually.

Step inside and stand on something REAL.

My coaching packages can help you find your real confidence.

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

Waves Don’t Die – They Return to The Whole.

Published on
/

The waves comes and go but the ocean LIVES forever.

If you can understand that then you can understand what it means to ride those REALITY WAVES:

You know you SHARE an inherent connection to the WHOLE and that you can RIDE OUT anything that keeps you from it.

On the level of our human experience as FRAGMENTED CREATURES in FRAGMENTED BODIES the surface-level waves of our lives will change day-after-day until eventually the wave crashes or fades and so we become ONE again.

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again:

WHAT IS REAL ABOUT YOU IS ALWAYS REAL.

It can never be destroyed.

It can never be added to or changed.

Whatever that REALNESS is – and however it shows up – it is found in the same deepest, darkest ocean of WHOLENESS that connects us all and anything else that has ever uttered the IMMORTAL words of “I am”.

When you’re RIDING the reality waves they’ll take you where you ASK them to take you and to show you what you need to be seen so you can GROW REAL again.

Beware, though, there are certain things that stop you RIDING and try to make you swim against the current:

-Your EGO (surprise, surprise) and its LIES or ILLUSIONS that tell you the waves are something you should RESIST instead of helping you see that they’re an EXPRESSION of who you are based on how much WHOLENESS you’ll let in right now.

-The ILLUSION OF STASIS that tell you that you don’t need to MOVE and so you can take yourself out of the TRUTH about yourself and all LIFE.

-The belief that the SURFACE is the WHOLE and that time, space, and cause-and-effect are the limits of who you are when they’re just the RULES according to which the WAVES MOVE whereas whatever it is that you ‘ARE’ lies in the PEACE down in the depths where it’s all CONNECTED.

Waves may come and waves may go but as you learn to surf them in the direction of you highest VISION then whatever is real about you will REMAIN because what is real is WHOLE and infinitely complete.

Whatever waves you’re riding right now are just showing you what you already are – if you learn to listen by learning to ride then you’ll learn there’s nothing to fear.

What is real about you is ALWAYS real.

 

Help yourself grow real – check out my coaching page.

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

Take the ‘Whatever’ Pill: Trust and Believe You Can Handle Whatever Comes Next.

Published on
/

There’s the blue pill, the red pill, and then the big boy: the WHATEVER pill.

You take the blue pill and you stay in your little day dream… The MATRIX of your ego and a sense of disconnection and restlessness as you hide your SHADOW ‘stuff’ from yourself and ‘live’ in your own comfort zone.

You take the red pill and you wake up… You get AWARENESS of the truth about life and how things work – you can see through the VEILED VEIL (of your limited perception and interpretation).

AWARENESS will only take you so far though… Yeah, you can see and UNCOVER the truth but unless you actually work to ACCEPT the truth and then ACT on it then you’re cutting yourself of from your potential and the excitement of living and being connected to the REAL WORLD.

There are two things you need to do to live a REAL life:

1. Uncover the truth
2. Live the truth

To do this you have to walk the road from AWARENESS to ACCEPTANCE to ACTION (and then keep walking it going deeper into the truth each time).

It works EVERY time but it won’t work if you only become ‘aware’.

The final pill is the WHATEVER PILL and you can only take it if you’ve gained enough awarness and acceptance to TRUST and BELIEVE in yourself NO MATTER WHAT (because you’ve become unshakeable – see my post on abundance mindset).

When you truly trust and believe you’re ready for anything that comes next because you know you can HANDLE it in the sense of not being shaken from yourself and true SELF-ACCEPTANCE.

When people don’t take the WHATEVER pill then they become too SCARED of RISK to do what they really want to do with their lives.

They become scared to go out there and take ACTION because they fear the CONSEQUENCES of self-perceived failure or having people say things about them or whatever else their ego and its fears can convince them of and project forward int an UNKNOWN future.

When you project these hypothetical ‘what ifs’ forward without taking the WHATEVER PILL then you forget that you’ll still be capable of TRUSTING AND BELIEVING no matter what so no consequences really matter.

You can handle it.

Take the WHATEVER PILL and it gives you the superpower of knowing that you can handle WHATEVER is next.

 

 

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

Self-Judgement is Always Learned. It’s Not Your Natural State.

Published on
/

Judging yourself (or anybody) isn’t your natural state.

It might feel ‘natural’ if you’ve just taken it onboard as part of your personality but that’s just because you’ve got used to that voice in your head following you around and analysing your every move.

There’s an old saying in coaching that if somebody spoke to you like you spoke to yourself in your head then you’d probably end up smacking them and you’d – at the very least – tell them to STFU.

Because that judgemental voice or ‘inner critic’ has become part of our daily routine we’ve just got used to it and allowed it to continue its business – in many cases, we even end up thinking that the voice is who we are.

The TRUTH is that you picked up that voice somewhere in the outside world and it’s caused you to be disconnected from yourself, the world by extension, and any semblance of REALITY.

In most cases, this voice came from a CRITICAL PARENT or some ‘AUTHORITY’ FIGURE like a disagreeable teacher or something.

In other cases, it might be from old ‘friends’ or peers from the past who were projecting their own ‘stuff’ onto you and because of whatever shame, guilt, and/or trauma you were carrying you decided to take it on as the actual ‘truth’ about you.

The FACT is that if you’re running around all day judging yourself then you don’t understand who you are and you don’t understand REALITY.

The reality is that you are beyond the judgement of other human beings because no other human being can comprehend the truth about where you are, what you did to get there, and where you’re going.

When you find yourself in a hypnotic state of self-judgement it means that you’ve taken UNREAL standards from the outside world as being your REAL VALUES and INTENTIONS (which are always from a place of WHOLENESS when you’re real because reality is WHOLE).

These standards always show up as ‘shoulds’ about ourselves or the world.

Self – “I SHOULD be/do/have [what I’m told, not what I INTEND]

World – “I SHOULD fit into a certain [box/script/pattern/etc]”

The reality is you don’t NEED to do anything except accept where you are and where you want to be .

Move towards WHOLENESS and judgement slips by the wayside.

 

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

Obsession Will Send You to the Nut House but Devotion Will Take You Home

Published on
/

Nothing in this world is worth being obsessed over.

The word ‘obsess’ goes back to late Middle English when it meant to be “haunted or possessed by an evil spirit”.

Maybe that’s still an apt description because when people are caught up in the throes of obsession not only do they lose themselves and their minds but they’ve also given themselves over to some dark power in themselves.

Obsession is UNREAL because it always has the EGO involved – in other words, the only reason anybody would be obsessed with anything is because of some FALSE IMAGE of themselves, the world, or reality.

The ‘evil spirits’ driving this obsession are usually just our unresolved emotional ‘stuff’ (in the form of shame, guilt, and or trauma and the FEAR and/or ANGER that accompanies these demons).

If you’re OBSESSED with something it means that you’re denying parts of yourself (because they’re hidden in your SHADOW) and so you project out certain qualities or ambitions onto the object of your obsession (aka ‘a Unicorn’ – see my book Shadow Life).

The most common things people become obsessed with are:

-Other people, especially in RELATIONSHIPS where we trick ourselves into thinking somebody is the answer to all our prayers (really just our ego’s way of protecting it’s illusions so we don’t have to grow through shadow) instead of growing REAL with them.

-Our own goals, because we’ve become OUTCOME-DEPENDENT and think we can only love ourselves if we attain whatever that goal is.

-The past, because we haven’t been able to find CONCEPTUAL closure and so our brain races around as the demons feed on our energy.

-Certain hobbies or material objects, because we’ve lost touch with our true sense of PURPOSE and need a substitute.

Any OBSESSION will eventually drive you CRAZY because it’s unreal.

If you wanna be REAL, you need to find a relationship, goal, or sense of purpose that you can be DEVOTED to.

The word ‘devotion’ means to make HOLY (WHOLE).

If the ego is made of FRAGMENTS then obsession is just about being further DIVIDED and detached from life because obsession is ego to the extreme.

Devotion is about dedicating yourself to what’s WHOLE in yourself, the world, and REALITY.

 

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

 

You might be interested in

You Deal With Your Childhood Wounds by Being an Adult

Published on
/

Nobody gets out of childhood totally unscathed.

It has to be this way because childhood is about being WHOLE – or at least SPONTANEOUS – and the world we’re brought up in is designed for FRAGMENTS and HESITATION.

Think about how many times you probably heard the word “NO” when you we’re growing up:

“NO, you can’t go play in the road.”

“NO, you can’t stay up all night”.

“NO, you can’t wear that Spiderman outfit to the supermarket.”

Maybe it’s a good thing that the world wears us down with ‘No’?

If we all were just so open minded that our brains fell out then the world would end up being a lunatic asylum for free range clowns… Oh, wait – we got that anyway. Maybe ‘No’ isn’t the best option.

The problem is that ‘NO’ just ends up wounding people and creating ‘broken’ adults (i.e. emotional retards – people whose INNER CHILD isn’t intergated and throws a constant temper tantrum when reminded of its seminal ‘wounds’).

It wounds people because they hear ‘NO’ at three main levels:

Shame: Where they receive a ‘NO’ at the level of their very being and their inherent value (usually because of some BS physical thing or personality quirk).

Guilt: Where they receive a ‘NO’ at the level of their actions or the situations they’ve found themselves in (like being born, for example).

Trauma: Where they receive a heavy’NO’ from some external force in the face of their own power and human capacity.

We all have some of this stuff going on to some extent when we go out into the world and how we deal with it is what most affects the course of our lives and who we become in the face of the world.

If we allow those ‘NO’ echoes to linger and internalise the feelings of shame, guilt, and/or trauma then we end up hiding behind the mask of adulthood whilst a WOUNDED child mopes about behind the scenes feeling lost and alone.

Instead of protecting and helping the child, we end up – in this state – trying to protect the mask instead but all that means is we don’t face the FEELINGS that wounded us and stay in this lost child state.

The solution is to be an ADULT and take RESPONSIBILITY over hiding. Only then can we face what we’ve been hiding from and reclaim our POWER.

 

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

Acceptance is the Bridge to Your True Timeline

Published on

You’re either in your time or you’re out-of-sync and the only difference between the two is ACCEPTANCE or RESISTANCE.

Really, when it comes to being real and living the life that you INTEND, the final lesson and resting place of your soul in the zone is always ACCEPTANCE:

Acceptance of YOURSELF and the things you stand for – your true values, your true intentions, and your true sense of morality (aligned with wholeness instead of the fragments of the world).

Acceptance of the WORLD and its limitations – like how the world is just an idea and your ideas about yourself and the OPENNESS of your heart affect what you let into the world around you.

Acceptance of REALITY and the INEVITABLE LAWS that fuel our relationship with it – such as the truth that everything changes in our human experience but everything is ONE and beyond change in the LIGHT of truth.

Your ability to ACCEPT life at these three levels (self, world, and reality) is affected by your ability to LEAN INTO and EMBRACE the TRUTH.

For most of us, the main reason we’re incapable of doing this is because we have become DISTORTED in TIME and need to make a quantum leap back onto the timeline we BELONG on (because our INTENTIONS are aligned with it).

When you don’t ACCEPT yourself, the world, and reality it means that you’ve found yourself on a DEAD TIMELINE where something is LOST, MISSING, or NEVER EXISTED but you make choices about who you are, what the world is, and what’s REAL that go against the waves of time that are washing over you.

This is normally because we’ve accumlated and attached to IDEAS that protect us from what we think we’ve been through but which become OUTDATED as time keeps swirling around us and we enter a different reality.

What this basically means is that the SOFTWARE our mind operates on is out of date with the HARDWARE we’re now operating on. When this happens it causes a SYSTEM CONFLICT or FAILURE that brings friction, frustration, and misery.

Your job is to upgrade the software by ACCEPTING REALITY and unifying mind and body so that you can WALK THE BRIDGE of trust and belief in yourself so that you can find solid ground back on your own TRUE TIMELINE and build a future that’s REAL.

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

If You Haven’t Been ‘Happy’ Since the Womb then You’ll Try and Turn the World into One

Published on
/

Sometimes, our lives are a mess because we’re bitter that we had to leave the womb.

I know that might sound a bit much but hear me out:

For the average human being, life goes something along the lines of this:

1. We’re conceived and find ourselves in the womb where all of our needs are met IMMEDIATELY and we don’t have to do anything to have it happen (because we’re connected to the WHOLE).

2. Nine months later we’re DRAGGED kicking and screaming into a state of DISCONNECTION and are introduced to the world.

3. Our needs are met when we CRY (if we’re lucky and have a good mother) so we feel a bit more CONNECTED again.

4. Eventually, we are sent into the world to fend for ourselves as a singular, FRAGMENTED creature that may have moments of WHOLENESS but – ultimately – it’s just us and a few moments of connection until we DIE.

Jeezus, that sounds bleak but it’s not all doom and gloom:

If you can WAKE YOURSELF UP and learn to be REAL then you can find a sense of purpose for yourself that allows you to flow with reality and GROW more whole again.

The way that we can do this is by finding some sort of ‘spiritual’ path to walk on that makes sense in the context of our lives and leads us back to ourselves.

The problem – for many people – is that they confuse spirituality (or whatever you wanna call it) with that LOST FEELING they miss from back in the womb.

This unconscious drive to return to the womb state DISTORTS their view of reality and causes them to try and turn their WORLD into a womb as a substitute.

Such a world is supposed to have the following features:

-Needs are met IMMEDIATELY without any effort.

-Cause and effect have no authority here because everything is connected to the NEEDS of the person at the centre of it.

-All you have to do is ‘think’ it and it will happen.

-There is no friction or tension to grow through because everything is perfect all the time.

-Passivity is rewarded more than ACTIVITY.

-If you CRY, you shall receive.

-Etc.

People with unconscious ‘Womb Nostalgia’ shape their world around the needs of their EGO.

All they end up doing is creating a bubble that will BURST at which time they’ll GIVE BIRTH TO THEMSELVES.

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

Your True Purpose is to Light Up the Dark

Published on

People often get lost and depressed because they feel that life is ‘meaningless’.

When they start getting caught up in such feelings they’re often shit out of luck because the world reflects back to us what we see in it (based on our relationship with ourselves) and so if expect a lack of meaning that’s what we get: a VOID.

More often than not, this void arises because of the void in ourselves that has caused us to send the REALEST parts of who we are down into the SHADOW TERRITORY (because the world deemed them ‘unacceptable’ and we believed it because of shame, guilt, and/or trauma).

With these real parts sent deep into hiding, we end up becoming DETACHED and DISSOCIATED from our real core and so we end up creating an EMPTY FILTER to view the world through (aka ‘the ego’ – at least, that’s what I call it).

The ego is UNREAL and devoid of meaning because it doesn’t exist. If we use it to filter reality through to keep our emotional ‘stuff’ at bay then of course life seems meaningless.

“We don’t see the world as it is but as we are.”

On top of this FILTERING ISSUE, being overly identified and caught up in the EGO FILTER causes us to be PASSIVE and to stop moving or taking action.

This is because when the ego has a hold over us, it blocks our capacity to move forward – because doing so would ask us to face our emotional stuff and shed the skin of the ego like a snake on our soul.

This combination – of filtering everything through ego and not taking action – causes life to appear static and therefore be ‘meaningless’.

To make it ‘MEANINGFUL’ again you have to realise that meaning isn’t a default but a BYPRODUCT and that it comes from PURPOSE.

Those who find life the most meaningful are the ones engaged in some kind of purpose and take daily actions to realise it and make it happen.

All a purpose really is is the act of MAKING YOUR VALUES VALUABLE TO OTHERS.

When you know your core values and find ways to share them with others you take something real in yourself and use it to help others be more real too.

This is how you LIGHT UP THE DARK and take yourself and others out of the VOID and into the truth.

Find something REAL and light your FLAME.

 

I’m trying to make sure my emails are REAL. Enter your email address below if you want to read them.

You’ll get a free PDF of my Lifestyle Design Canvas when you do (a tool for looking at your life and where you wanna go next):

[instagram-feed]

You might be interested in

1 2 3